Gwen rushes into Aimee’s office.
Gwen: Aimee, you know I’m head of the party-planning committee, correct?
Aimee: The what? I thought that was just a thing on The Office!
Gwen: It’s very real, I take it very seriously. It’s the only bit of theatricality and fabulosity that I ever get in my life now that I traded in singing and dancing on stage for listening to the elderly drone on in committee hearings.
Aimee: Did we ever find Alma?
Gwen: Who cares? Point is, I’m chairing the party-planning committee, and we’re putting on a big holiday bash tomorrow night before the Christmas recess begins. I’ve got Harry to play Santa already, he’s been doing it for years. Mildred was going to be Mrs. Claus, but she’s come down with the flu.
Aimee: Mildred’s got the flu? I just saw her this morning.
Gwen: We’re senators, sometimes we haver to work through the flu to keep the agenda going. Regardless, she’s not going to the party, and I need a new Mrs. Claus. I hate so many of these people that would be options. I know you’re young, but you’re very kind and sweet and motherly, I think you’d be great for the role.
Aimee: Am I just entertaining senators?
Gwen: I forgot you missed last year’s party because you were in a foul mood! All the members always bring their kids, grandkids, nieces, nephews, whoever to the party. It really lets us get to know each other better, foster bonds, and come together as a sort of twisted family that hates one another ninety percent of the time, but not on Christmas.
Aimee: I’ll definitely be there for the party. I’m torn on being asked to play Mrs. Claus, party because I’d like to think I’m at least twenty-five years too young for that job.
Gwen: People love a young Mrs. Claus!
Aimee: I don’t want Santa to look like a cradle robber.
Gwen: Aimee, dear, just because you’re pre-menopausal doesn’t mean you’re an infant.
Aimee: You sure know how to sweet talk a lady.
Gwen: I’ll drop the costume off at your office tomorrow morning.
Aimee: Can’t wait.
Later that day…
Carolyn: Aimee, you look miserable.
Alec: Not so holly and jolly, are ya?
Aimee: Does nothing ever happen in the House anymore?
Carolyn: Victor doesn’t make us work very hard anymore. Quite demoralized by the losses in this election.
Alec: Didn’t care about mine, though!
Carolyn: Well, we held your seat, so…
Alec: Such a lovely way to put that.
Aimee: Alec, don’t you have a farewell speech to give? Or did Nanette stop doing those because letting every outgoing Republican speak would take until the beginning of the 2027 Congress?
Alec: That’s tomorrow.
Aimee: Ugh, tomorrow.
Alec: Something’s happened.
Aimee: How observant.
Alec: I like to think of myself in that way, yes.
Carolyn: What’s the problem now?
Aimee: I’ve been given the duties of Mrs. Claus at the Senate Christmas party. I have to spend my holiday party, which I could instead be using to rub elbows with my colleagues and get closer with them, to entertain children in a ridiculous costume and wig. Speaking of which, Denise, Gwen’s dropping a costume off for me for tomorrow.
Denise: I haven’t been listening to the whole conversation, so I’m just going to assume your costume is for some sort of Eyes Wide Shut party that they do in the Senate.
Aimee: Even worse. It’s for a Christmas party, where I’ve been forced to play Mrs. Claus.
Denise: Oh.
Aimee: Oh?
Denise: All of your shenanigans are hard to keep up with sometimes.
Aimee: My shenanigans? This is Gwen Gardenia’s doing!
Carolyn: It’s not as if she put a gun to your head and threatened to pull the trigger if you didn’t do it.
Aimee: She’s my friend. Friends do favors for one another, but it’s not as if I have to LIKE doing those favors.
Carolyn: There’s no one else in the Senate that could play Mrs. Claus?
Aimee: It was sort of just thrust upon me. She said Mildred got sick and couldn’t do it anymore and that she’d drop off the costume tomorrow morning.
Carolyn: Burn it.
Aimee: Carolyn!
Carolyn: It’s not like it would ruin Christmas not to have a Mrs. Claus.
Alec: Besides, you’re far too young to be Mrs. Claus! You’re more like Santa’s daughter.
Aimee: I’m going to so miss having my own hype man.
Alec: Any time you need some hyping, just give me a ring.
Carolyn: Have you two gotten into the eggnog already?
Alec: Why?
Carolyn: You usually save this flirting for a bit later in the night.
Alec: Flirting? Men and women can be friends without it being “flirting.”
Aimee: We tow the line, I’ll give her that.
Carolyn: So, are House members invited to this party? I’m curious to see how this will all go.
Aimee: not without an invite, but I can bring you if you so desire.
Carolyn: I desire.
Denise: I do not!
Aimee: You don’t have to go, Denise, don’t worry.
Denise: Thank god. The Christmas season’s only so long, I can’t waste it palling around with a bunch of self-centered senators. Yourself not included, of course.
Aimee: Of course.
The next night..
Dave: I think you look wonderful, dear.
Aimee: I look ridiculous.
Victoria: The white wig looks a little cheap, the rest is fine.
Aimee: Thank you for the advice, RuPaul.
Victoria: If you meant that as an insult, it was a complete misfire. I adore RuPaul.
Aimee: I’m aware, you make me watch it with you.
Dave: Aren't you a little young to play Mrs. Claus, though?
Aimee: People keep saying that. I’m not sure if they mean it or if they’re trying to flatter me, but I do appreciate it regardless.
Dave: It’s not just flattery, I just can’t recall ever seeing a Mrs. Claus as young and beautiful as you.
Victoria: Look, I think it’s so sweet that you two are still so in love, but could you keep it to yourselves just a little? We’re in public.
Gwen: Aimee! Mrs. Claus! Senator Claus!
Aimee: Please don’t draw any more attention to me.
Gwen: You look good! It’s a Christmas party!
Aimee: I look like my mother going out caroling but with fifty added pounds. Was the fake gut necessary?
Gwen: It completes the ensemble, the illusion.
Aimee: Illusion? Are you saying I actually look like an immortal elderly woman who’s thousands of years old?
Gwen: I mean whatever you want to hear so as to keep you from spinning out.
Aimee: Thank you, those are very kind words you just implied.
Child #1: Where’s Santa? Where’s Santa?
Melody: Just on his way, don’t you worry!
Gwen: So, about that, Aimee…
Aimee: What? You want me to put on a bear and play Santa instead?
Gwen: Could you?
Aimee: Why would I need to? You claimed you had Harry booked to do it. You were quite assertive about it, his involvement was one of the few things that kept me from backing out after you forced me into it.
Gwen: He was going to do it as soon as two hours ago. Apparently, he’d been working closely with Mildred and the flu’s as contagious as they say it is, because he’s come down with a case of it, too.
Aimee: You could’t find a new Santa? You found a new Mrs. Claus. Santa’s surely more important.
Gwen: He has the suit at his house and I’m certainly not going to go to the home of the infected just to retrieve a suit. So we go on without a Santa. Christmas isn’t canceled, just a bit different this year. I’ll tell you one thing, it’s the last time I ever trust a Republican with such an important job!
Aimee: I’m a Republican!
Gwen: Sure you are.
Aimee: I am!
Dave: Don’t even bother arguing, honey. You know what you are.
Gwen: Yes, she does. She knows she’s Mrs. Claus, and the kids need her!
Aimee: How long do I have to do this, exactly? I’d like to enjoy a bit of the party and talk with people.
Gwen: Just an hour or so. It’ll be over in a flash, before you even know it.
Aimee: I’m sure it will be.
Melody: Gwen, do we have an ETA on Santa?
Aimee: December the 24th.
Melody: That’s a bit late, no? We’ll be back in California by then.
Gwen: Harry’s under the weather, no Santa this year. Just Mrs. Claus.
Aimee: You’re stuck with me.
Aimee takes a seat in Santa’s chair.
Aimee: Children, gather around! Santa is very busy working with the elves to bring Christmas joy to you all, but I’ve been sent here to retrieve your wishes and take them back to them!
Child #2: Santa isn’t real!
Aimee: I take offense to that. He’s my husband, I adore him.
Child #3: You look like the lady from the news?
Aimee: Santa and I do make the new frequently, yes.
Child #1: You look old!
Melody: No, Eleanor, we don’t say that.
Aimee: It’s fine, it’s fine. I’m a few millennia old, I’m not a young woman.
Carolyn: A woman Santa? What kinda far-left hippie shit is this?
Alec: Carolyn! There are children here!
Dave: She’s Mrs. Claus.
Carolyn: I know, but I thought I’d make a joke about this bizarre situation.
Dave: I think it’s sweet.
Carolyn: Oh no, is this your kink? Keep that to the bedroom.
Alec: You have a dirty mind.
Carolyn: It’s been a rough year, you have to laugh to keep from crying.
One hour later…
Gwen: Aimee, you can wrap it up now if you want. I think most of the kids that wanted to visit with you have already done so. I know how much you wanted to mix and mingle in the jinglin’ feet, whatever that means.
Lynette: Yeah, Aimee, come have some eggnog and let loose!
Senator John Marley: I am begging you, do not let loose as hard as Lynette.
Lynette: It’s called having fun, John.
John: You’re a senator, woman. Act like it!
Carolyn: Yeah, act like it!
Aimee: I would never. And, Gwen, I’m having a wonderful time speaking to these children and passing along their greatest wishes to Santa. I’ll join you all as soon as I’ve talked with everyone, not a moment before.
Gwen: I’m impressed, Aimee. You’ve really committed to this.
Child #4: Who’s Aimee?
Aimee: That’s my full name, dear, Aimee Claus. Now, what do you want for Christmas?
Victoria: She’s scaring me now.
Dave: I think it’s sweet.
Carolyn: I worry it’ll get her on a list, but she’s obviously got pure intentions.
Later that night, after the party ends…
Gwen: Ah, that was fun.
Greg: You and the committee did a wonderful job, Gwen.
Gwen: We always do, Greg.
Greg: That was a bit sassy.
Lynette: Greg, have you not learned not to call a woman “sassy.”
Greg: I thought it was. Annie word to use, it indicates personality.
Gwen: You really mean to tell me you meant that in a positive way?
Greg: No…
Gwen: This is why I generally avoid Republicans.
Aimee: I’m one of your -
Gwen: Not a Republican!
Geraldine: I gotta say, Aimee, you did an amazing job as Mrs. Claus. My little grandkids were delighted by you, they said they were so glad they got to meet Mrs. Claus this year, they want her every year!
Greg: You could do it professionally if this Senate thing doesn’t last.
Aimee: Well, that actually brings up a good point. Gwen, could I possibly borrow the suit? I’m doing a constituent Christmas party in Seattle next week, I think dressing as Mrs. Claus to surprise the kids is just what the party needs!
Gwen: Do you promise not to get the flu on me and keep the costume longer than you need?
Aimee: I do.
Gwen: All right, then you can borrow it.
Geraldine: Ah, I just love Christmas!
Gwen: Yes, you Republicans sure love to dangle that over us.
Senator Kylie Sylvan: I prefer Frostica, it’s a holiday I made up to celebrate the birth of my personal god of winter, Freezo.
Geraldine: Excuse me, what?
Greg: I can not believe Arizona re-elected you.
Kylie: Neither can Arizona!
Alma: Does anyone know where Bing Crosby is?
Gwen: Who’s gonna tell her? Not me.
One week later…
Cherie: Aimee, are you excited for Christmas?
Aimee: I am, actually. I’ve finished everything early, it feels like a new record!
Cherie: Wow, everything?
Aimee: Presents are done, decorating’s done, cookies are baked, cards are sent, I’m stress-free for the holidays!
Cherie: Well, that should free you up for my favorite traditions! This Friday, we’re doing gingerbread houses and caroling. It’s the only day that works for all of us. Kimmy’s got a seasonal job most other day, and your father gets up so early for work on the weekdays. And your grandmother… well, I don’t care, she doesn’t do anything, anyway.
Manuela: I’m old, not deaf, you brat!
Cherie: I know, I don’t care. I don’t like you.
Manuela: Well Feliz Navidad to you, too.
Aimee: Oh, mom. I’m sorry, I have my holiday party that night.
Cherie: Holiday party?
Aimee: My constituent party, in Seattle. It’s a way to give people a chance to get to know me, and have a place to celebrate the holiday in case they have no other place to go.
Victoria: She played Mrs. Claus at the Senate holiday party and was so wonderful with the kids, she’s gonna do it again at this party.
Cherie: I think it’s wonderful that you’ve found your holiday spirit again, but I’ll miss you dearly at our holiday celebration.
Kimmy: Mom, that’s not the only night that works to go caroling.
Cherie: It is!
Kimmy: I’ve told you, it’s not. I get off work at five. That’s plenty of time to do what you have planned for us.
Cherie: It has to be that day!
Aimee: Why does it have to be that day?
Cherie: Because December 20 is the day we’d always go caroling with your grandmother when she was alive, because it was her dad’s birthday and she needed something to distract her. Now I think of her on that day every year and it’s my way to honor her. I can’t believe you forgot!
Ernesto: We can do it ourselves.
Cherie: It’s meant to be done as a family!
Ernesto: We are a family.
Cherie: Aimee, Dave, the kids, heck, even Victoria. They are family! We need them!
Victoria: My heart’s warmed. I feel the spirit of Christmas running through me, “even Victoria.”
Aimee: Mom, I’m so sorry I forgot. It was just the Friday that worked best for the party. I didn’t mean to step all over the tradition.
Cherie: It’s fine. We can enjoy the holidays together plenty of other days this month.
Three days later…
Aimee: I have to be honest with you guys, I feel a little guilty being here, all jolly as Mrs. Claus, while mom’s all disappointed about breaking our December 20th tradition that I forgot existed.
Victoria: You’re a busy woman, you’ve got responsibilities. You’e meeting with constituents, she should be able to understand that.
Dave: Besides, you should never feel guilty about enjoying things. Joy is the meaning of the season.
Aimee: Actually, Jesus is the meaning of the season.
Victoria: I thought it was Christine Baranski. She’s in all the movies.
Cherie: Mrs. Claus, is that you?
Aimee: Mom, you came!
Victoria: Christmas is ruined, the Grinch is here.
Cherie: Very funny.
Victoria: Well, I was about to be the star of this party, now I’m a supporting player.
Manuela: I’ve been brought here against my will, I need it known.
Cherie: I brought our sheet music and supplies for gingerbread houses. No one said our tradition couldn’t look a little different this year, as long as it lives on in some way.
Ernesto: She was very excited about surprising you with this.
Aimee: As she should be! I’m so happy to see you guys! Christmas is best when spent together. One question, though.
Kimmy: Yes, my holiday job is as an elf. Yes, we had to leave before I could change out of it so we got here before the party officially started.
Aimee: That actually wasn’t it. I was wondering - does Mrs. Claus usually sing?
Cherie: Nothing says she can’t!
What did you think of this episode of Evergreen Aimee? Let us know in the comments! Evergreen Aimee will return in early 2025!
