Gretchen is in a meeting with Jeanne and Hank.
Jeanne: You know, I think we can still make a deal work if we really try. There aren’t irreconcilable differences, we all want the same thing.
Hank: Why should Bust my ass t pass a bill she’ll get credit for after all of her underhanded tactics to try to bring me down?
Gretchen: I th
Jeanne: Look, I won’t claim that the governor’s tactics were morally correct -
Hank: Good, because they weren’t!
Jeanne: What is morally correct, however, is passing a bill to expand affordable housing and curb the housing crisis. We all know this, we all want this, and I think we can all work to get it done.
Hank: Why should I work overtime to help hand her a massive accomplishment? Let her flounder.
Gretchen: See, this behavior is why. I supported the motion to vacate.
Hank: You supplied dirt on me just to oust me. You crossed a line and you played dirty!
Gretchen: You crossed a line by undermining EVERY single policy goal of mine, and everything I’ve ever tried to accomplish. You’ve blocked roughly ninety-five percent of my goals, and you’ve made it perfectly clear that we are not friends. I feel no loyalty to you, and I had every right to work to oust you when you’re neglecting your job out of spite.
Hank: I only began acting on spite after this little stunt of yours.
Gretchen: Oh, come on! Jeanne, you’re a spiteful troll yourself, you know damn well the spite’s been a years-long deal.
Jeanne: Yeah, I can’t disagree. We’ve been antagonizing you for years, it’s no secret. I feel it’s been deserved, you likely disagree.
Gretchen: Likely?
Hank: I can’t believe you’re siding with her here!
Jeanne: When did I say I was siding with her? I’m just saying that we have not had a good working relationship and I understand why she’d be frustrated with you and work against you. I think what she did is low, cheap, and gross, but as a hater, I have to respect a move made out of sheer hatred.
Hank: Regardless, I think this meeting is over.
Gretchen: So that’s it? I worked against you once and now you’re taking your ball and going home? You don’t even care to do your job and work for the people of our state? If I did that every time you screwed me over, we wouldn’t have spoken past February 2019.
Jeanne: I still believe a deal can be made.
Hank: It can’t be. I’m done negotiating with her. Jeanne, I respect you, but this is a fight I’m not taking on.
Jeanne: We’ll revisit this later.
Hank: We will not.
Jeanne: We’ll just give him some time to cool off.
Hank: He won’t.
Gretchen: I feel like he won’t.
Later that day…
Anthony: Ah, look who’s home! How was work?
Gretchen: Uh… awful?
Anthony: As one would expect.
Gretchen: Where is my mother?
Christina: We were wondering the same!
Gretchen: I’m so used to being greeted by her unfriendly scowl every time I walk into the house, her not being here is so jarring.
Anthony: She’ll fly in on her broom any moment now, I’m sure.
Gretchen: Wait, so none of you know where she is?
Anthony: She wasn’t here when I got home, I just assumed she was at the store or something.
Gretchen: How long have you been home?
Anthony: Like an hour.
Gretchen: Well, that’s not an abnormal amount of time for her to spend at the store.
Christina: She left earlier than that, though. Like three hours ago.
Gretchen: You didn’t ask where she was going?
Christina: I also thought she was just going to the store.
Gretchen: Surely she does other things beyond sitting here at home hating on everything and doing the family shopping.
Christina: Does she?
Gretchen: I don’t know, I was hoping someone else would be able to think of something.
Anthony: She loves Facebook.
Christina: But only to hate on people.
Anthony: That’s true.
Toby: She goes to bingo every Wednesday! I know because she gets home late and makes me recap the first half-hour of Survivor every week. I usually just make things up, I don’t pay great attention.
Gretchen: Well, it isn’t Wednesday, and it’s five PM, so I don’t think that’s where she is. It’s good to know she does more than two things in her life, though.
Christina: Maybe she’s with uncle Eddie.
Gretchen: Good idea! I’ll give him a call.
Anthony: What about Mary?
Gretchen: Good one, Anthony!
Gretchen steps aside and calls Eddie.
Eddie: Wow, the governor’s calling! Something big must be happening!
Gretchen: Not really. Not unless you consider me not knowing where mom is to be “big.”
Eddie: You don’t know where mom is? How do you lose a human?
Gretchen: Lots of people go missing!
Eddie: Don’t say “go missing!” It makes her sound like a missing person!
Gretchen: So she’s not with you?
Eddie: No! Why would she be here?
Gretchen: She’s been gone for hours, apparently.
Eddie: Did you try calling her?
Gretchen: I didn’t think of that, perhaps because, deep down, I’m scared to. She’s an intimidating woman.
Eddie: Well, I have no clue where she is, so you might have to call her to solve this so-called “mystery.”
Gretchen: But I don’t wanna!
Eddie: Don’t whine, it’s unbecoming.
Gretchen: You sound like mom.
Eddie: I’m just prepping you for your phone call.
Gretchen: You’re the favorite, why don’t you call?
Eddie: You’re her guardian.
Gretchen: I don’t see myself that way. I just see myself as the only one who’d step up to the plate to give her a place to live when she needed one. How about you step up on this one?
Eddie: Oh, no, I’m driving through a tunnel, you’re breaking up, bye!
Eddie hangs up.
Christina: So is she at uncle Eddie’s?
Gretchen: No, and I’m really beginning to wonder why he’s her favorite. He did give me an idea, though.
Anthony: Have you considered just calling her?
Gretchen: That was his idea!
Christina: Doesn’t seem like a very revolutionary idea.
Gretchen: Well, would anyone else mind doing it? I don’t feel like getting yelled at, I had a very bad day.
Anthony: I’ll do it.
Christina: This should be good.
Anthony calls Lucinda.
Lucinda: What?
Anthony: Oh, you’re alive!
Lucinda: Don’t sound so excited about it.
Anthony: Where are you? We’re worried, you just wandered off.
Lucinda: I didn’t wander off, I’m not demented! I got in a car and drove somewhere like an adult. I told Toby I was leaving and would be gone for hours, apparently he wasn’t listening to me.
Anthony: That sounds like Toby.
Lucinda: I’m on a date, I think I’m allowed. Now, my gentleman friend and I were in the middle of a conversation, and I don’t want to interrupt that, so I’m going to hang up now. I’ll be home tonight, don’t report me as a missing person.
Lucinda hangs up.
Gretchen: Clearly you got ahold of her, where is she?
Anthony: I don’t know.
Gretchen: What do you mean you don’t know?
Anthony: She didn’t give a place, just said she was on a “date.”
Toby: Ew!
Christina: Oh, come on, there’s nothing gross about our grandmother - yeah, I can’t say it. It is gross.
Gretchen: I need to sit down.
Christina: Is mom okay?
Toby: This is when grandma would say “Has she ever been?” even though she’s known mom her entire life and knows the answer.
Gretchen: This is just jarring to hear.
Anthony: Are you actually upset about it?
Gretchen: I’m not… thrilled.
Anthony: I remember when my aunt died, and my mom was absolutely horrified when my uncle started dating a few months later. Mom thought it was way too fast and that it was morally. Wrong.
Gretchen: Well it is.
Anthony: It made my uncle happy, and I think that’s what my aunt would have wanted.
Gretchen: If I die before you, you gotta wait ten years before you go looking around for something new.
Anthony: I highly doubt I’m going to outlive you by ten years, even with that heart condition of yours and your poor eating habits!
Gretchen: Exactly! And, wait, poor eating habits? I eat perfectly healthy. I ordered a salad the last time we went out to eat!
Anthony: Yes. A salad with chicken, eggs, beef, a pound of cheese and roughly a half-gallon of salad dressing on it.
Gretchen: So eggs are unhealthy now?
Anthony: Not really, but salad dressing is and always has been.
Christina: I don’t think salad is really the main focus of this conversation. Mom, why are you upset about grandma going out and seeing someone? Grandpa’s been gone a long time.
Gretchen: Time-wise, he has been. But in my heart, it still feels like yesterday. It hurts. It feels like he’s being replaced. Even worse is that she’s keeping it from me!
Anthony: You are valid for being upset, but your mom is also valid for… not moving on, that’s not the term. She’s valid for getting herself back out there. She doesn’t deserve to feel alone, and I really can’t believe I’m the one saying that, because usually I wouldn’t in a million years wish her upon anyone.
Gretchen: Don’t joke, my mom is great, she’s a catch.
Anthony: She’s definitely a unique and interesting woman.
Christina: So, do you feel better now about her getting back in the dating scene?
Gretchen: Not really. It’s just hard to fathom my mom with a new guy.
Christina: You won’t have to call him dad or anything, don’t worry too much.
Anthony: Plus, if they get married, she can move out!
Gretchen starts crying.
Anthony: Oh no, I’ve made a mess of things.
Christina: One of us was bound to, she’s very fragile today.
Gretchen: Damn you, Hank Matthews!
Christina: I’m not even gonna ask.
Later that night, Lucinda returns home.
Gretchen: Look who it is! Almost seven o’clock, that’s almost bedtime!
Lucinda: I assume you’ve heard about where I was today?
Gretchen: Of course! This is major news, mother!
Lucinda: Only for me. It only impacts my life.
Christina: Toby, go to your room.
Toby: I’m sixteen!
Anthony: Toby…
Toby: I’m going!
Gretchen: I don’t know why you didn’t tell me about your date.
Lucinda: You two, how did she react when she found out I was on a date?
Anthony: Shew as fi-
Christina: She burst into tears and said you were replacing gramps.
Lucinda: See, yeah, that’s why.
Anthony: She really was fine after the first twenty minutes of shock and horror.
Lucinda: I’m often portrayed as heartless, cruel, unkind, all of these horrible things, but I didn’t tell you, my darling daughter, because I knew you’d feel hurt once you did find out about it. I don’t want that ever.
Gretchen: I had to find out eventually!
Lucinda: Not really. This guy was just someone I met at bingo and became friendly with, and we realized we’re better as friends.
Gretchen: You were gone six hours!
Lucinda: We’re old! Do you realize how long it takes to play a round of bowling at eighty? A long time! Then there was a wait at the restaurant. Nevertheless, I’m not replacing your father with this man, or any man.
Gretchen: So you’re going to stop dating?
Lucinda: No! I had fun tonight. It’s the first time I’ve had fun with a man since your father died seven years ago.
Anthony: Okay, that’s harsh.
Lucinda: You’re not a man, you’re family.
Anthony: Thank you?
Christina: I would categorize that statement as “sweet for her standards.”
Lucinda: I have to ask you something, Gretchen. Do you not want me to have fun and enjoy life? You’re not spiteful like that, I don’t think you want me to be miserable.
Gretchen: It’s not that at all! I do want you to have a great life and enjoy every second of it. It’s just hard to know you’re moving on from dad.
Lucinda: It’s not about moving on, it’s about making the most of the time I have left. Let’s be honest with ourselves, I’m not going to be around forever. I wish I could be, but I won’t be. I’m eighty, I’m lucky to have made it this far, I’m just hoping to make my last few years as enjoyable as possible. Ill never find a love like what I had with your father, but that’s not what I’m looking to get. I’m just looking for a bit of companionship. Why are you crying?
Gretchen: I don’t want to think about my mom dying!
Anthony: It’s been a long day for her, she’s feeling a lot.
Lucinda: Well, as long as we can all accept that, as a grown woman, I can make whatever choices I want to, then we’re good. Let her cry it out, that’s good sometimes.
The next day, in Gretchen’s office…
Carol: I know, Gretchen, we’re all heartbroken about the housing bill, you don’t even have to say anything.
Samantha: I still have a few tricks up my sleeve, there’s no need to fret just yet!
Gretchen: I need advice about my mother.
Carol: Put her in a home. Just do it. Don’t question it. Lock her up.
Gretchen: That’s not it!
Samantha: As someone whose mother is still in great shape and sharp as a tack, I’m concerned that your first instinc-
Carol: Shut up.
Samantha: Got it.
Gretchen: My mother is dating again.
Susana: And…?
Gretchen: It upsets me.
Susana: It upsets you? Are you kidding, all I want is for my mother to get out there and start dating again! She’s always home, it’s crazy.
Carol: I agree, you shouldn’t be upset.
Gretchen: I just feel like she’s replacing my dad. It’s very distressing.
Samantha: My mother has never dated after my father died. Ten years and she still hasn’t moved on, nor do I think she ever will. It’s left her heartbroken and far less happy than she once was.
Gretchen: So you’re trying to say…?
Samantha: Let her do her own thing!
Gretchen: I certainly wasn’t about to stop her, I just need help feeling better about it. She’s told me her perspective, I get it, but it’s hard to grapple with it.
Carol: Everyone grieves deals with the feelings of grief in their own way. For example, if my son of a bitch ex-husband died, I’d… well, my daughter’s here, I won’t say what I’d do.
Susana: I know what you’d do.
Carol: Good. He’s a son of a bitch. Regardless, your parents had a wonderful relationship, but your father is gone, and your mother had years to deal with it. If she’s ready now to open herself up and try to find a companion, that’s her right. Life’s tough, don’t make it tougher for her or for you by dwelling on this. Moving on is healthy so long as you always keep the memory of that person in your heart.
Samantha: Wow, I didn’t think you were capable of speaking so eloquently.
Carol: I’m capable of it when I try.
Later that night…
Gretchen: Mother! We have to talk.
Lucinda: Oh no.
Christina: Toby, to your room!
Toby: Really?
Christina: Toby…
Toby: I’m going.
Gretchen: No, you don’t have to go.
Toby: Thank god, I can’t miss out on the drama again!
Gretchen: Okay, now you do have to go.
Toby: Darn…
Gretchen: Mom, I thought a lot about last night’s conversation. You’re right, you do deserve to be happy, and I want you to know that, even though you don’t need it, you have my full blessing to date all you want. It’s definitely what dad would want.
Lucinda: I appreciate that, it’s very mature.
Gretchen: I’ll tell you something else, too: the next guy you want to go out with, bring him here for dinner. I want to meet anyone who brings you joy.
Lucinda: That’s gonna be a long while, Gretchen. That was my first date in sixty years, it’s not like I’m actively searching for guys. I’m eighty! I appreciate the sentiment, though.
Gretchen: What was last night about then?
Lucinda: I just had to shame you for thinking you get to boss your mother around.
Gretchen: That’s typical.
What did you think of this episode of Raymond Island? Let us know in the comments, and make sure to read the new episode next week!
