Raymond Island Season 3 Episode 13 - Hard Choices

Raymond Island Season 3, Episode 13
Hard Choices

Gretchen walks into the office.

Gretchen: What are you two talking about?

Carol: Work things.

Gretchen: Such as…?

Susana: Just discussing your social media accounts. We’re thinking we could freshen them up a bit.

Gretchen: I think they’re plenty fresh.

Carol: They’re about as fresh as the old Bob Dole 1996 campaign site.

Gretchen: That was rude.

Susana: You don’t need to worry about the social accounts, they’re not your responsibility. How’s your day going?

Gretchen: Nice deflection from you two calling me outdated.

Carol: I said your Twitter account is outdated, it’s just the truth. We’re losing young voters and social media outreach is very valuable there. Not your job to worry about it, though.

Susana: We shouldn’t be worrying about the campaign while we’re at work. It’s generally frowned-upon.

Carol: I agree. But -

Susana: So you disagree?

Carol: Gretchen, the primary is in a few weeks. You don’t have to do this, but I was wondering if you’re making an endorsement in the lieutenant governor race.

Gretchen: Who is running?

Carol: Ha, good one.

Gretchen: No, I mean it. Who’s running?

Susana: So you know when Jeanne paints you as being “out of touch?” This is one of those moments where I agree with her.

Gretchen: The average voter heads to the polls without knowing who is running for lieutenant governor. I’m very in touch with the average voter in that regard.

Carol: You know Samantha’s running for re-election, correct?

Gretchen: Sadly.

Carol: She has a primary challenge from state rep Tom Walker.

Gretchen: Is that name supposed to mean something?

Susana: First elected in 2018 - 

Gretchen: Only losers first got elected in 2018.

Susana: He was one of the main house sponsors of the fishing industry bailout bill. Huge union supporter, he has the endorsement of most progressive organizations.

Gretchen: He sounds, as the kids say, very based.

Carol: Meanwhile, Samantha is… what she is.

Gretchen: What do the polls look like?

Carol: Will this answer sway your decision?

Gretchen: I’m doing badly enough so as it is, I don’t want to tie myself to anyone politically toxic. Would an endorsement have any major downside? And has he endorsed me?

Carol: He has endorsed you. He gave you a shining endorsement back before the first debate, saying “Gretchen Raymond is the only candidate out there that’s not actively trying to sell out Rhode Island to the highest bidder.”

Gretchen: That sounds more like a knock on Jeanne and Samantha, but at least he’s on my side.

Susana: I think we’ve talked enough about this, you can think about the race before wading into anything right now.

Carol: Yeah, she does have a whole two weeks. Plenty of time!

Susana: Two-and-a-half weeks!

Gretchen: The half is very important.

Carol: Just try to make up your mind about it soon. Your endorsement won’t make much of a difference if you wait too long.

Gretchen: I’ll make my decision tonight.

Susana: Okay, now can we get back to work?

Gretchen: If we must…

Carol: The people of this state would truly lose out on so much if you lost re-election.

Gretchen: I’m glad we’re on the same page!

Later that night, at dinner…

Christina: Is there any reason you texted and asked us to meet here?

Toby: Are you and dad getting a divorce?

Gretchen: A d- what?

Christina: Pardon him, he just learned about divorce at school today.

Anthony: Why were you learning about divorce at school?

Toby: Ben was telling me about how his parents are getting divorced.

Anthony: That Ben always was a troublemaker.

Lucinda: The kid’s like thirty, he didn’t know divorce existed already?

Gretchen: He lives a very sheltered life.

Christina: Mom, you never answered my question.

Gretchen: I wasn’t really given the chance.

Lucinda: I can’t believe your kids complain when they get to go out for dinner. You know how often I got to go out to eat when I was your age, kids? Never!

Anthony: You were so poor you ate beans from a tin can for dinner, we know.

Lucinda: I wasn’t Tom Sawyer! We didn’t have it easy, though. I had to make my own dinner when mom worked late. It’s why I learned to cook when I was eight!

Christina: I learned to cook when I was young, too.

Lucinda: Making eggs is not cooking.

Gretchen: May I speak?

Anthony: Yes, please.

Gretchen: I asked you here because we’ve all been working hard -

Lucinda: Not Christina!

Gretchen: On the campaign and I think we needed a nice night out.

Lucinda: Did it have to happen on a Thursday, though?

Anthony: Is there anything you won’t complain about?

Lucinda: Nope!

Gretchen: Tonight’s dinner is all on me, as a thank you for helping to keep me sane as we enter the home stretch of this campaign.

Christina: You’re welcome!

Gretchen: I don’t know how it’s going to end, but I’m glad I had you by my side. Even you, mom. Your critiques make me a better campaigner.

Lucinda: Too bad you didn’t pick up on enough when you were running for Vice President.

Gretchen: That one was a little much.

Lucinda: Yeah, even I agree.

Anthony: See, she has somewhat of a heart.

Gretchen: That all said -

Christina: She’s gonna drop a bomb on us. Butter us up, give us dinner, just to shake up our worlds entirely.

Gretchen: I have a question for you all. I want your advice.

Lucinda: This should be good.

Gretchen: I ne-

Hank: Governor Raymond! What are you doing here?

Gretchen: Having dinner with my family. What are you doing here, Hank?

Hank: I come to Buono Italiano every Thursday, it’s an old family tradition.

Gretchen: So it is. Is this Mrs. Matthews?

Hank: Yes, this is my wife, Pauline Matthews.

Gretchen: Ah, good to finally put a face to the name.

Pauline: Good to met you, governor Raymond.

Hank: I don’t want to interrupt your night, I’ll let you go.

Gretchen: Oh, you’re not interrupting anything! You know I always love talking with you!

Hank: And I with you as well!

Gretchen: We’ll have to have lunch together sometime soon.

Hank: That would be great! Now, I’m going to let you go. We need to get to our table, anyway.

Gretchen: Have a nice dinner, you two!

Christina: What in the world was that about?

Anthony: You’re always complaining about that man. You loathe him.

Gretchen: Yeah, but we’re both media trained. We don’t need any public displays of friction.

Lucinda: I don’t think TMZ is here waiting to snap pictures of you speaking tensely with the speaker of the state house.

Gretchen: I also want his wife to trust me and think we have a good relationship, just in case I ever have to blackmail him by revealing his little affair that I became aware of a few years ago.

Christina: Wow, you’re evil.

Gretchen: I’m savvy. There’s a difference!

Anthony: So, what was the question you had for us?

Gretchen: I don’t want to ask while that ass is in earshot. I’ll ask when we get home.

Christina: You are so weird.

Gretchen: And you’re not? Enjoy your free dinner and shut it.

Lucinda: Tell her, Gretch!

At home, that night…

Gretchen: Okay, question time!

Anthony: Wow, look at the time. I need to get in the shower.

Gretchen: You have time for the question!

Anthony: Of course, of course. Anything for you, dear.

Christina: Dad, don’t be such a kiss-ass.

Anthony: Get a job!

Christina: You sounded like grandma just now.

Lucinda: Even a broken clock is right twice a day.

Gretchen: Should I endorse Samantha’s primary opponent?

Lucinda: This was the big question? What does a lieutenant governor even do?

Gretchen: A lot of things! She harasses me, she tries to tank my agenda, she -

Lucinda: Yes, endorse her opponent. Why is this a question?

Christina: I think it’s more nuanced than that. This is about the implications that an endorsement would have.

Gretchen: Thank you, Christina. Thank god someone gets it!

Lucinda: I don’t understand the issue.

Gretchen: Endorsing her opponent would send a signal that they are unable to work together as a team. Is the governor can’t work with her second-in-command, how good is she at her job?

Lucinda: The lieutenant governor ran against the governor in a primary. I’d say that ship’s sailed.

Gretchen: Another good point.

Lucinda: The people know about the dysfunction already. Why not do the most you can to flush out said dysfunction?

Gretchen: That’s sort of how I felt, but I also have tried to avoid thrusting myself into controversy on this campaign. This could make bigger waves than I want at this point. There are only two weeks until the primary, I don’t want to upset any Pratt primary voters without having enough time to distance myself from the potential controversy.

Lucinda: You can’t be afraid to make moves. Not in politics!

Gretchen: Why didn’t you run if you’re such a political genius?

Lucinda: I devoted my time to raising my children.

Gretchen: You did a great job there, if I do say so myself.

Lucinda: Is that some sort of dig?

Gretchen: Er… no.

Christina: Dad, you’ve been very quiet.

Anthony: So has Toby.

Toby: I haven’t been listening. I’m listening to Billie Eilish. She scares me but in a way that I enjoy.

Christina: Aww, he has a crush!

Toby: I do not!

Gretchen: Anthony, honey, what do you think about the whole ordeal?

Anthony: I think you should do whatever you’re comfortable with.

Christina: What a lukewarm, milquetoast take.

Anthony: What can I say, I don’t know how to feel. I understand not wanting to alienate Pratt voters, but I also understand wanting to flush out a nuisance. I think I would stay out of it, if it were me.

Lucinda: That means you need to endorse. His political instincts are terrible! Just awful!

Gretchen: Thank you all for making sure you didn’t help me in the slightest. Maybe Billie Eilish has the answers.

Christina: Endorse against the bad guy, duh.

Gretchen: That was beautiful, Christina.

The next day, at the capitol…

Samantha: Gretchen, can we talk?

Gretchen: Am I in trouble? Did I park your car in your slot again?

Samantha: I got here before you, how would that even work?

Gretchen: How am I supposed to know that?

Samantha: You’re walking in from outside. I’m walking down from my office. I’ve clearly been here longer than you.

Gretchen: You could have scaled the outside walls, jumped in your office window and then came down he stairs in an attempt to trick me.

Samantha: How could I forget that obvious answer?

Gretchen: So, what was it you wanted to talk about?

Samantha: Can we do it in my office?

Gretchen: Kinky.

Samantha: Get your mind out of the gutter!

Gretchen: Yes, we can talk in your office. As long as you promise not to kill me while we’re there.

Samantha: Why would I kill you?

Gretchen: I’ve considered killing you on multiple occasions when you entered my office.

Jeanne: What did I just hear you say?

Gretchen: Nothing, Jeanne. Mind your own damn business!

Jeanne: I probably should, seeing how you’ve fantasized about homicide and all.

Gretchen: She is so nosy.

Samantha: That she is.

In Samantha’s office…

Samantha: Gretchen, I’ve heard that you’re going to endorse Tom Walker’s campaign.

Gretchen: Where have you heard that? Certainly not from Carol or Susana.

Samantha: I heard it from Tom Walker, actually. He’s claiming that you’re going to endorse him ahead of the primary.

Gretchen: The is asinine.

Samantha: I know you don’t like me.

Gretchen: That isn’t fully fair.

Samantha: I only ask that you don’t endorse him. You don’t have to endorse me, but let’s not muddy the waters any further. 

Gretchen: Is that how that phrase is supposed to be used?

Samantha: Oh, you get what I’m saying.

Gretchen: I’m not saying I want to endorse him at all, but why would I do you a favor? You’ve undermined me the entire election. You went as far as to drop out of the race you clearly were desperate to win, just to try to stop me from winning.

Samantha: I have some dirt on Jeanne that I will share with you if you stay out of my race.

Gretchen: This sounds illegal.

Samantha: What’s illegal is what Jeanne’s bene up to…

Gretchen: You’re not going to fool me the easily.

Samantha: Just consider staying out of it, okay? Let me know by tomorrow what you decide. If you agree to stay out, I’ll give you everything I know.

Gretchen: Thank you, Don Corleone. You give me much to consider.

In Gretchen’s office…

Carol: So, what have you decided?

Gretchen: Good lord, why does everyone care about this so much?

Carol: I’m a very curious person, you know that.

Gretchen: I’m not endorsing Tom Walker, and it’s not even because Samantha just bribed me.

Susana: Samantha did what?

Gretchen: Typical shady politician crap. Anyway, I can’t get behind Walker. Staying out of it.

Carol: What went wrong?

Gretchen: He’s spreading false information about me endorsing him. I can’t support that, no one lies about me and gets away with it.

Carol: Are you forgetting all Samantha has done to you?

Gretchen: They both suck. Whoever wins wins. Now, I should probably get back to Samantha and tell her I’m staying out. I need that dirt on Jeanne!

Carol: She’s offering dirt on Jeanne in exchange for you staying out? That’s illegal!

Susana: This is very clearly a trap.

Gretchen: Don’t worry, I know. I’m gonna tell her where to shove it.

Carol: Your mind truly perplexes me.

Gretchen: It is pretty great, huh?

Susana: You’re really not going to do anything to stop. the re-nomination of the person who just tried to trick you into committing a crime?

Gretchen: Like I said, no one lies about me and gets away with it!

Susana: We are so doomed.

What did you think of this episode of Raymond Island? Let us know in the comments, and make sure to return for a new episode next week! 

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