Raymond Island Season 3 Episode 14 - Poll Position

Raymond Island Season 3, Episode 14
Poll Position

Gretchen walks backstage at a campaign event in Newport.
Gretchen: Did I say something wrong? Why do you both look like that?
Carol: Why can this job never be easy?
Gretchen: Did I insult the Irish Catholic community again?
Susana: We’d be sobbing and drinking alcohol if you did that this close to an election.
Carol: Remember when she insulted the third-largest city in Pennsylvania right before the presidential election?
Gretchen: What did I do now?
Carol: Oh, right. New poll came out.
Gretchen: That good?
Susana: It’s all over Twitter.
Gretchen: Always a reliable sign that the poll doesn’t shake up the status quo whatsoever.
Carol: You are losing to Jeanne by ten points.
Gretchen: This is the first poll that puts me behind Jeanne, correct?
Carol: Correct.
Susana: She came, I believe, within three points at one point, but this is her first lead.
Gretchen: I’d be lying if I were to say that I’m happy about it.
Susana: If it’s true, and it might not b-
Gretchen: I’ve been slipping for the past few weeks. Whether it’s fully correct or not is irrelevant. The trend is pretty obvious.
Susana: We have a week to reverse it. A lot can happen in a week!
Carol: Remember that time the Supreme Court took away like five rights in the span of two days. a few months ago?
Gretchen: Of course…
Susana: So much can happen in a week! The fight goes on!
Carol: I know it’s hard to keep the faith, but it’s vital that you do. I’ll schedule some more campaign events for the coming week and increase advertising.
Gretchen: I’ll do anything to win -
Susana: Anything?
Gretchen: Nothing illegal!
Susana: Just making sure.
Gretchen: I will do as many campaign stops as you want, but I have a very bad feeling about everything.
Susana: There’s no use feeling pessimistic. We don’t have time for that.
Gretchen: You really should become a therapist. That was your true calling.
Susana: I am quite inspiring.
Lucinda: Gretchen, you are so screwed.
Gretchen: Lovely to see you’ve found your way backstage.
Lucinda: Christina was telling me about your latest poll numbers. Not good.
Christina: It was just the one poll number.
Lucinda: Being down thirty-seven to forty-seven is bad whether it’s the result in one poll or ten!
Anthony: I thought we agreed we weren’t going to talk about it?
Toby: Talk about what?
Lucinda: Mommy’s going to lose her job.
Toby: Are we going to lose our house?
Lucinda: Gretchen? Are you?
Gretchen: No one needs to worry about losing our house, we will be fine.
Christina: Thanks to dad.
Anthony: You and your grandmother need to stop trying to get your mom worked up.
Gretchen: It’s fine. As Doris Day says, que sera sera. All I can do is campaign hard this last week and if I lose, that’s the voters’ decision. I’ll be fine no matter the result. We’ll be fine.
Lucinda: Are you trying to convince us or yourself?
Gretchen: You always keep me on my toes. And, sometimes, keep me on antidepressants.
Carol: So, tomorrow -
Gretchen: Where are you sending me? Please not a diner again.
Carol: When have I ever had you campaign at a diner?
Gretchen: New Hampshire…
Carol: You’re still upset about something you had to do two years ago?
Gretchen: No one should ever see that much maple syrup in one morning.
Carol: It’s at a festival in Cranston. I secured a twenty-minute set for you at two.
Gretchen: A twenty-minute festival set? What is this, Coachella? Do I look like Ariana Grande to you?
Susana: There’s also the book store.
Carol: Oh, yeah.
Gretchen: Book store?
Carol: Tomorrow’s concern. Get yourself home and relax, we have a long week ahead of us.
Gretchen: Don’t tell me what to do! You don’t own me!
Carol: Apologies, Lesley Gore.
Susana: Yeah, mom. Telling women what to do is the Supreme Court’s job!
Lucinda: Too soon.
The next night…
Christina: Mom, it’s ten o’clock. What are you doing in your office yet?
Lucinda: Don’t make her stop, it’s a miracle that she’s working!
Christina: Grandma, lay off her. She’s crying.
Lucinda: Oh, no. Gretchen, what’s wrong now?
Gretchen: I’m not crying. My eyes are just watering. I gave myself a paper cut.
Lucinda: I’m not so sure I believe you. As your mother, I suppose it’s my job to inquire further. Is something the matter?
Gretchen: I’m just working on my concession speech, it’s making me a little sad. To think this could all be over in a few months, it’s tragic.
Lucinda: You’ve been in elected office for a long time.
Gretchen: I was twenty-six when I was first elected to the local city council. It’s hard that it might just be over before I know it.
Lucinda: You can always run for state senate. Be a thorn in Jeanne’s side. Oppose her whole agenda.
Gretchen: That would be so embarrassing. A former governor running for state senate. That’s a real sign someone can’t take a hint.
Christina: What did you write in your concession speech?
Gretchen: “Rhode Island.”
Christina: Continue, please.
Gretchen: That’s as far as I got. I’m not sure that’s how I want to start it, either.
Christina: Do you need help?
Lucinda: She means with the speech, she can’t provide mental health assistance. Maybe if she went to college, but…
Christina: Like I said, need help?
Gretchen: I think I should just go to bed, worry about writing it tomorrow. Not sure when, though. I have campaign events schedule after work. I’m so burned out.
Christina: How about I write a speech for you and you can make changes to it as you see fit?
Gretchen: I can’t have you do that.
Christina: It’s no trouble. It’s not like I have anything else to do.
Lucinda: That is true.
Gretchen: Okay, you do it. I’m going to head to bed now, long day ahead.
Lucinda: Make sure you get rest, you can’t get sick. When you do, I do, and I’m not about to get sick.
Gretchen: Always so loving, mom.
The next day, at the capitol…
Gretchen: Ah, hello girls!
Susana: You look energetic! You drink an extra espresso this morning?
Gretchen: I actually got sleep! For once in my life, I had a good night’s sleep.
Carol: Well, have we got news for you.
Gretchen: Did the CDC say that sleep causes cancer or something now?
Susana: When you think of it, what’s one thing every cancer patient has in common? They all sleep.
Gretchen: Don’t say that around right-wingers. They hear that, before you know it, they want to ban sleep.
Carol: The poll wasn’t real, Gretchen.
Gretchen: Excuse me?
Carol: It was a total fabrication. We don’t know who did it, but the polling firm the it was allegedly from put out a statement denying its authenticity. They said they haven’t conducted a single poll in the state this year.
Gretchen: No one thought to check up on that before it sent me into a spiral?
Carol: A spiral? You said you were doing fine.
Gretchen: I’m a politician, I lied!
Carol: Oh, Gretchen. You’re too candid for your own good.
Gretchen: I freaked out like a lunatic this weekend. I thought my goose was cooked.
Susana: Not yet!
Gretchen: I’m up in every poll, right?
Carol: So far, yeah. The results of the internal poll we rush-ordered haven’t come in yet, though.
Susana: All of the signs are positive for you to secure re-nomination.
Gretchen: Do I still have to do all of these campaign events?
Carol: Weren’t you the one that said two days ago that you were losing momentum and saw the poll as part of a continuing trend?
Gretchen: That doesn’t sound like me, no.
Carol: I think it would be wise to avoid rocking the boat and just follow through with the campaign events we have planned.
Gretchen: Okay, fine. But if I collapse from exhaustion…
Carol: Collapse from exhaustion? You just came zipping into the office today with more energy than the Energizer Bunny.
Gretchen: I hide the exhaustion well.
Susana: You have a TV interview today at five.
Gretchen: Here or at a news studio?
Susana: At the studio.
Gretchen: I’m the governor, you’d think they could come to me.
Susana: You’re the governor, not the Pope.
Gretchen: What’s that supposed to mean?
Susana: They only see you as just another politician, of course they’d ask you to come to the studio. 
Gretchen: Thank you for knocking me off my pedestal on this exciting day.
Susana: It’s what I’m here for.
Carol: No, it’s what I’m here for!
Susana: Oh, god. Am I turning into my mother?
Gretchen: Like you were ever not a carbon copy of her.
Later that day, Samantha enters the office.
Susana: Madam lieutenant governor, what are you here for?
Samantha: Do I always need to have some reason to be here? What if I just wanted to see Gretchen and hang out?
Susana: Do you just want to see Gretchen and hang out?
Samantha: Nah, I have some juicy gossip for her.
Carol: Why are you like this? You weren’t always like this. Why now?
Samantha: I don’t know what you’re referring to. May I please speak to Gretchen?
Susana: She’s not going to be happy, but she isn’t busy, so go ahead.
Carol: She’s going to fire you.
Susana: What will be, will be.
Samantha knocks on Gretchen’s office door.
Gretchen: Carol, you don’t need to know.
Samantha: It’s me. I bring news.
Gretchen: If I let you in, do you promise to not bug me again today?
Samantha: Promise.
Gretchen: Come on in, then.
Samantha walks into Gretchen’s office.
Gretchen: What’s this news?
Samantha: Right down to business then. 
Gretchen: The less I have to see you, the better.
Samantha: So that fake poll that circulated and caused a frenzy here, I’m sure you’re aware of it.
Gretchen: Mildly familiar.
Samantha: I have reason to believe, based on some of the conversations I’ve heard, that Jeanne’s campaign is responsible for it.
Gretchen: You know, that isn’t the craziest thing you’ve ever said.
Samantha: Thank you!
Gretchen: I could buy that they decided to make up a fake poll to give a false impression that she has momentum. Get more media coverage, swing undecided voters her way.
Samantha: Exactly! She’s a snake.
Gretchen: Why have you suddenly turned on her?
Samantha: I told you, I’d give you any dirt on her that I found out if you stayed out of the LG race. I’m a woman of my word.
Gretchen: Let’s not go overboard with the self praise here.
Later that day, at the news staton, Gretchen is finishing up her interview with news anchor Yvonne Marcus.
Yvonne: I just wanted to say how very happy we are to have had you here with us, Governor Raymond, and we thank you for carving some time out of your schedule to chat with us. Do you have anything to add before we go?
Gretchen: Actually, Yvonne, I do! I just wanted to shine a light on Jeanne Rivers’s shady tactics. Her campaign is so DOA that she made up a fake poll and circulated it on social media, just to give the appearance that her campaign has momentum. I really think she was trying to get the media to bite on the story and lend some unearned credibility to her campaign. Didn’t work, the polling firm that they claimed conducted the poll disavowed it. She’ll have to try harder than that!
Yvonne: That’s quite the accusation, governor.
Gretchen: Well, Jeanne is quite the shady lady.
Yvonne: Governor Gretchen Raymond, everybody! We’ll be right back with traffic after the break!
The next day, at the capitol…
Jeanne: What the hell, Raymond?
Gretchen: Oh, if it isn’t the queen of fake news?
Jeanne: Fake news? Me? You’re the one desperately making up lies about me to save yourself.
Hank: Ladies, ladies. You’re both awful!
Jeanne: Stay out of this, Hank.
Hank: Don’t have to tell me twice.
Gretchen: How low can you go, Jeanne? Making a fake poll?
Jeanne: I didn’t make a fake poll, you idiot. Did you not see that two teenage boys admitted to making it up for fun?
Gretchen: Your sons?
Jeanne: Unrelated to me. Not even from Rhode Island.
Hank: Kids these days, they find the weirdest things fun.
Gretchen: Susana, is that true?
Susana: Twitter is telling me so.
Gretchen: Oh, Jesus…
Jeanne: He’d be very ashamed in you today. Bearing false witness, that’s a no-no.
Gretchen: Stop rubbing it in!
Jeanne: Thank you for giving me something to run on in the last week of the campaign, though. You’re so thoughtful!
Gretchen: I said stop!

What did you think of this episode of Raymond Island? Let us know in the comments, and make sure to return for a new episode next week! 

Share this

Related Posts

Next Post »