Evergreen Aimee Season 2 Episode 8 - Uncivil Conspiracy

Evergreen Aimee Season 2, Episode 8
Uncivil Conspiracy

Aimee is at Cherie and Ernesto’s house for dinner.

Cherie: It’s getting closer and closer, Aimee. You excited?

Aimee: What is? Thanksgiving? No, can’t say I’m terribly excited for that. So much to do!

Victoria: I believe she means -

Aimee: I know what she means. I try not to think of it.

Ernesto: Have you started putting a staff together? I know you lost most of your current staffers.

Aimee: All. I lost all of them.

Ernesto: I was trying to put it delicately.

Aimee: I’ve got a few hires so far. Denise is in charge of the rest.

Cherie: You put a lot of trust in her.

Aimee: She got a Republican elected to the US Senate in Washington! I’d say the trust has been earned.

Cherie: You have a point. Still, be sure you take same care into who gets hired. This is a very important chapter in your life!

Aimee: I have the final call on all of Denise’s hires, don’t you worry.

Kimmy: It’s probably good that Denise is in charge. Aimee hired one person other than Denise and it’s someone who hates her guts.

Dave: Honey, why’d you hire Evan Jankler?

Aimee: Very funny, Dave. Kimmy, whatshername does not hate my guts!

Kimmy: You don’t even remember her name and she’s gonna help run your office? Oh no.

Aimee: I’m pregnant!

Kimmy: Excuses!

Cherie: To whom are we referring?

Kimmy: Delilah, the intern Aimee had fired for a mistake she herself made.

Aimee: I’m all about second chances!

Ernesto: Except for the President, I guess.

Aimee: He staged an insurrection, dad.

Victoria: Why would you even say something so stupid?

Ernesto: It was a joke!

Victoria: It’s not funny! I swear, half the people in this country side with him after he tried to get Congress killed! It’s scary!

Cherie: The Democrats gained seventy-eight seats in the House about two weeks ago. I’d say the general public isn’t too supportive of the President right now.

Ernesto: Hell, even I didn’t vote for the Republican House candidate in our district.

Aimee: Well, he did call for my detainment in Guantanamo Bay…

Ernesto: I could’ve held my nose and voted for him! Your mother did!

Cherie: I did not!

Kimmy: You had his yard sign.

Cherie: Which I took out of the ground as soon as he said that about your sister.

Kimmy: He was still pro-coup beforehand, though.

Cherie: He also wasn’t a communist.

Kimmy: I think overthrowing the government because they’re passing a bill you don’t like is more “communist” than anything the mainstream Democrats have proposed.

Aimee: I’m glad we’re having this conversation again.

Victoria: We should talk about something less divisive.

Dave: Gun control!

Victoria: I was thinking TV. Anyone watch anything good lately?

Kimmy: I went to see the new Black Panther.

Cherie: With who?

Kimmy: Myself.

Ernesto: You didn’t tell us you were going to the movies! What if we wanted to go?

Cherie: Very selfish of you.

Kimmy: I’m sorry, I assumed you wouldn't want to go, seeing how you always call Marvel movies “dumb kid movies.”

Cherie: It’s worth asking.

Kimmy: Oh my god!

Cherie: I don’t think I said anything too scandalous.

Kimmy: Aimee, look what your colleague just tweeted!

Cherie: I always told you, Twitter is not worth your time.

Aimee: My god!

Cherie: But, please, read the tweet aloud.

Ernesto: Really?

Cherie: I’m curious! It made them both holler.

Victoria: Let me guess, it’s from Mauri-

Kimmy: So this is from Maurine Talbot Redford.

Victoria: Knew it!

Kimmy: She danced around the subject a bit, but, uh… she appeared to call for Lynette Chaffee’s execution.

Cherie: She WHAT?

Kimmy: She said, um, “American patriots must rise up against TYRANNY from left-wing Trojan horses that claim to be Republicans but are helping the commie Democrats. It’s time to ‘handle’ these traitors like @LynChaffee by whatever means possible.” It also has a picture of her with crosshairs on her face.

Cherie: Yeah, that’s a threat.

Ernesto: That clueless pendejo… she’s going to get someone killed!

Aimee: At this point that… feels like the goal, doesn’t it?

Dave: She’s the one who warned you not to testify at the impeachment trial, right?

Aimee: Yeah, we go way back. The best of friends.

Kimmy: Somehow, you voted to keep her on her committees after she threatened you.

Aimee: I didn’t want to look petty.

Kimmy: She’s a psychopath.

Aimee: That’s becoming more apparent, yes.

Victoria: Looks like another family dinner overshadowed by politics.

Ernesto: You’re just disappointed it wasn’t your fault this time.

Victoria: Well, yeah.

Aimee: We don't need to talk about Maurine. It’s disturbing, she is disturbed, enough time spent.

Victoria: Well, can’t argue with that.

Dave: Who else is watching this season of The Conners?

Kimmy: Are you sure you’re a Republican? A hundred percent?

Two days later, Nanette knocks on the door of Aimee’s office.

Aimee: Come on in!

Nanette: My goodness, I wasn’t prepared for it to look like this in here.

Aimee: In the word’s of the very wise William Joel, I’m movin’ out. Don’t have very much time left here at all.

Nanette: It’s still hard to believe you’re not going to be in the House anymore. Better things ahead for you, clearly, but I’ll miss you.

Aimee: You just got eighty more members of your own party, that should cushion the loss.

Nanette: That certainly doesn’t hurt. Still, we did come to develop a nice friendship over the years. Sometimes it’s nice to sit down and talk with someone you don’t agree with on much politically and find what you have in common outside of politics. We had quite a bit in common;.

Aimee: This feels like a preamble to you asking me for some sort of favor.

Nanette: You know me too well!

Aimee: I’m a politician, I speak the language of politics quite well. So, what do you want me to do for you?

Nanette: It’s the talk of the town, so I’m sure you’ve seen Maurine Talbot Redford’s recent tweet about Congresswoman Chaffee.

Aimee: The murder-y one? Yes, I’ve seen it.

Nanette: I’m the Speaker of the House, it’s my duty to ensure that this is a safe work space. It’s also my duty to enforce a code of ethics among members.

Aimee: I can’t think of a more ethical group of people than US Representatives.

Nanette: I’m being serious.

Aimee: Sorry. Pregnancy brain.

Nanette: Congresswoman Spanheim has already drafted a motion to expel Congresswoman Redford for her unacceptable remarks. I’m bringing it up for a vote tomorrow. I’m certain Victor will whip against it. You ca do whatever you want, but I would appreciate as much bipartisan support here as possible. I need a two-thirds majority and, well, it’s a tough road ahead for that.

Aimee: May I ask what the point is? I agree she’s too dangerous to serve, but she only has a month and a half left in this term, and she already won the election for her next term.

Nanette: It’s about principle. We have to stand united against this sort of targeted hate speech, whether it’s convenient or practical to or not.

Aimee: I’ll think about it, okay?

Nanette: That’s all I ask. You’re the first person to know, aside from Alicia, that this is going up for a vote. If you do decide to support it, I’d really appreciate if you could try to swing some other moderate Republicans in favor of it. Like I said, we need all the help we can get.

Aimee: Like I said, I’ll think about it. Good luck, Nanette.

Nanette: Thanks, I need that and more.

Two hours later, in Aimee’s office…

Alec: What’s going on, Aimee? You look frazzled.

Lynette: Never tell a woman she looks “frazzled.”

Carolyn: Especially a pregnant one. Do you have a death wish?

Aimee: I’m assuming we’ve all heard about Maurine’s Twitter meltdown.

Lynette: The one where she threatened to kill me? Yes, I’ve heard. My mom saw it and nearly went into cardiac arrest, then she called me about it screaming and nearly sent me into cardiac arrest.

Alec: You have your father’s heart, I see.

Lynette: Must you make jokes about my father’s heart condition?

Carolyn: Yeah, Alec. How stupid of you. Don doesn’t HAVE a heart!

Lynette: Not funny!

Aimee: So we’ve all heard, good.

Alec: You’re not engaging with our good-natured ribbing?

Aimee: Pass. This brings me to why I asked you here. Nanette is bringing up to vote a measure to expel Maurine from Congress.

Carolyn: Expel her? What for?

Lynette: Um, threatening murder?

Carolyn: Was she threatening murder or just spouting her mouth off, which she is known to do?

Lynette: She put a target on my back either way!

Alec: I saw the tweet, the target was more on your face.

Lynette: Not the point!

Alec: I thought we cared about facts here, guess not.

Aimee: The Speaker said that she is trying to get as much Republican support for the expulsion as possible, and asked me for help.

Lynette: I’m obviously a yes, considering… everything. I doubt we’ll be able to sway many other Republicans, though.

Carolyn: You won’t get enough to reach a two-thirds majority threshold for expulsion, I’ll tell you that.

Lynette: I’m sure you’ll be voting no again, just like with impeachment.

Carolyn: I haven’t decided. What Maurine said truly disgusts me, you’re my friend.

Alec: Would it not disgust you if Maurine said it about someone that’s not your friend?

Carolyn: It wouldn’t have made me quite as scared.

Aimee: Alec, what are you thinking about doing?

Alec: I have to do what’s right, I have to vote yes.

Carolyn: What about re-election? This won’t help you.

Alec: I already voted for impeachment, they can’t get any more angry at me.

Carolyn: You won re-election after impeachment.

Alec: I’d already been re-nominated after that. It’s not like my district was going to elect a Democrat.

Aimee: Did they even nominate anyone?

Alec: Not anyone tethered to reality.

Aimee: Carolyn, are you going to base this vote on re-election prospects?

Carolyn: No, not totally. I’m also sort of leaning towards no because it’s hopeless.

Lynette: You just said you were unsure. Now you’re learning no? Already?

Carolyn: Well, I'm thinking about it. Expelling a member of Congress doesn’t make them ineligible to serve again, and she’s already won another term. So this would expel her for a month and a half, with the House only being in session for about two of those weeks. I don’t think that’s worth pissing off half my base for.

Lynette: Half your base wants me to die?

Carolyn: No, but half my base is arch-conservative. They won’t take too kindly to me voting 

Aimee: So it is about re-election. Carolyn!

Lynette: You’re going to make Aimee so upset she goes into labor again.

Carolyn: I will consider it, that good enough?

Lynette: It’s something.

Carolyn: I make no promises, but again, I’ll consider.

Aimee: I’m going to go talk to Victor now. I’m going to try to get him to agree not to whip votes against this.

Lynette: Oh, good luck with that. She threatened to kill me, Vic probably wants to give her the Medal of Freedom.

Alec: Hey, our president’s such an ass, that might become reality.

Lynette: Oy.

In the hallway, on the way to Victor’s office…

Geraldine: Aimee! Hey!

Aimee: Oh, Gerry. What’s up?

Geraldine: I just wanted to get your thoughts on something.

Aimee: Oh, what?

Geraldine: I heard about Nanette’s plan about Maurine Redford. I wanted to get your thoughts on that. I know you’re moderate, but we in the Senate were hoping you’d oppose it to avoid, uh, making waves.

Aimee: Oh, um - Denise! What’re you doing here? Sorry, Gerry, I gotta walk with her. Been a while since I’ve seen her, I gotta catch up.

Denise: It hasn-

Geraldine: All right, Aimee. We’ll talk later, I guess.

Aimee: Yup, later.

Denise (whispering): Aimee, what was that about?

Aimee: You don’t even want to know.

Denise: No, I do.

Aimee: Nanette’s trying to expel Maurine Talbot Redford for being a psycho and Gerry wants me to vote no on the measure. I’m voting yes, but I don’t want to tell her that.

Denise: Ah, Senate drama. Ain’t this fun?

Aimee: Err… no.

Denise: Anyway, I just came here to grab something for the office. I left my contact list there and I need that for the hiring interviews.

Aimee: The staff’s coming together, right?

Denise: You could say that.

Aimee: Would it be correct to say that?

Denise: It’s a thing you can say. I make no further promises.

Aimee: I should let you go, then. I gotta go talk to Victor anyway. That’s gonna suck.

Denise: You sound like Lynette.

Aimee: He’s gonna hate me as much as her by the time I’m done here.

Denise: Just try not to get yourself blacklisted.

Aimee: What power does he really have over me? I’m a senator!

Denise: He is like the #4 ranked Republican in the country.

Aimee: Have you seen the Republican Party recently? That’s no compliment!

In Victor’s office…

Victor: Aimee, always a pleasure. What’s on your mind?

Aimee: This is not easy.

Victor: Did someone die? Did Maurine get to Lynette? Did Lynette get to Maurine?

Aimee: Funny you mention them!

Victor: Oh boy.

Aimee: Victor, please do not whip against the bill to expel Maurine. She deserves to be punished for this. She’s gone too far!

Victor: I can’t let one of my caucus members be expelled.

Aimee: For like a month! She’ll be back in due time to spew nonsense on the House floor.

Victor: I’m not sure what you’re asking me.

Aimee: Are you incapable of listening? I want you to simply allow us all to vote how we choose instead of whipping the votes against it.

Victor: I don’t like Lynette, I see no need to do her a favor.

Aimee: It’s not a favor for her, it would be doing the right thing. Not that you care about that.

Victor: You must be in a bad mood, and you’re taking it out on me.

Aimee: I’m just tired of you not doing what I know you know is the right thing to do!

Victor: I have to defend my caucus.

Aimee: Even after this? Come on, Victor!

Victor: After anything!

Aimee: You didn’t defend Lynette.

Victor: Let’s not do this. We can agree to disagree.

Aimee: Okay, I tried. Enough trying. Bye, Victor.

The next day, on the House floor…

Alicia: Ladies and gentlemen, you’ve listened to my arguments today, you’ve listened to the gentlelady from Georgia’s arguments, now is the time to choose between violence and justice. Please, choose justice. I yield the floor.

Nanette: Members, laid on the table is the motion to expel Congresswoman Maurine Talbot Redford for inciting violence against Congresswoman Lynette Chaffee. This is a fifteen minute vote.

Carolyn enters the House chamber and sits down next to Aimee.

Aimee: I really hope you’ve decided to do the right thing. It would crush Lynette if you didn’t.

Carolyn: I already voted yes, Aimee. Stop worrying.

Aimee: Thank god, I’m not friends with a traitor.

Carolyn: I don’t think Victor will see it the way.

Aimee: Who cares?

Carolyn: Good point!

Thirty minutes later, in Aimee’s office…

Lynette: You know, I totally forgot about all the absences in the chamber. I was sure it wouldn’t pass, but I guess you need less support to pass when barely anyone even showed up to vote.

Aimee: It passed by one vote thanks to nearly a hundred Republicans not bothering to show up for work. Is that not beautiful?

Carolyn: You’re welcome!

Lynette: We’re never going to hear the end of this from here, are we?

Carolyn: Nope!

What did you think of this episode of Evergreen Aimee? Let us know in the comments, vote in the poll below, and make sure to read the new episode next week!

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