Evergreen Aimee Season 2 Episode 9 - Baby, I Don’t Love Your Way

Evergreen Aimee Season 2, Episode 9

Baby, I Don't Love Your Way

Aimee is in her office when Carolyn walks in.

Carolyn: Just taking it in one last time?

Aimee: Taking what in?

Carolyn: Your office. You’ve used it for ten years, surely there’s a lot of sentimental value here.

Aimee: Of course there is, I wish I could have said I was sitting here for some sort of sentimental reason like that. The real reason is that my desk chair is far more comfortable than the seats on the House floor and I’m extremely pregnant, so comfort is pretty important right about now.

Carolyn: I get it. You’d think they’d get some comfortable seating in there by now, but no. Maybe if they cut some of that reckless government spending and diverted it to congressional upkeep…

Aimee: You know how tone deaf that sounds, right?

Carolyn: It’s something I’ve been accused of many times.

There is a knock at the door.

Aimee: We’ve got a party going right about now!

Nanette: Can I come in, Congresswoman Ferrera Donahue?

Aimee: Had to call me that once more for old time’s sake?

Nanette: Couldn’t help myself.

Aimee: Come on in.

Nanette: How ya feeling?  Has it sunk in yet that this is your last “real” day in the House and you’ve already cast your final vote here?

Aimee: Well, it’s starting to now.

Nanette: I’ve made my feelings very clear the past few months, but I want to tell you again how grateful I am to have had you to work alongside. I know we’re on different teams here, but your commitment to our country has always been so clear. I shouldn’t say this, since I’m a partisan hack -

Carolyn: What? Says who?

Nanette: But we need more people like you in office.

Aimee: Aww, you’re really buttering me up. Is there something you want?

Nanette: All I wanted was to express my admiration for you. I wont’ be seeing you too much from here one, so I figured I should come see you one last time.

Aimee: I appreciate it, Nanette. I have, surprisingly, come to like you quite a bit myself. You aren’t nearly as crooked as those other Republicans claim you are.

Nanette: Aww, thanks!

Carolyn: Don’t worry, Nan! I’m still here for you!

Nanette: So, anyway, this was a nice visit, now I should probably get going. Don’t want to miss any farewell speeches, it’s rude.

Carolyn: Don’t call us rude, please.

Nanette: Was not the intention. I know you have a lot going on right now. Though, I do hope you make it down to the chamber to give your own speech before you go.

Carolyn: Don’t you worry, she’s going to. I helped her put her speech together and everything.

Aimee: She sure did. It was an interesting process, to say the least. It has turned me off of using a ghostwriter for any potential memoir I may write down the line, though.

Nanette: I’m glad to hear that! I’ll see you then. Oh, one more thing. Here is my personal phone number, call me if you ever need any guidance. Don’t tell Greg Sherwood about it, though. He already thinks you’re a RINO so as it is.

Aimee: Thank you, for everything. For being kind and not letting partisan rancor come between us. I will be calling you just to keep in touch, don’t ever doubt it.

Nanette: Good luck, Aimee. Kick ass in the Senate.

Carolyn: I never expected to hear those words come out of her mouth, but I’m very glad I did.

One hour later, on the House floor.

Lynette: Aimee, where have you been all day?

Carolyn: Resting!

Lynette: Did you change your name to Aimee, too?

Carolyn: You didn’t know?

Aimee: I’m here now, that’s what matters. Right?

Lynette: Im just glad you made it in time. I was worried you wouldn’t speak. That’s not a fashionable way to go out.

Alec: Always leave them wanting more, that’s what I always say.

Lynette: Always good to live your life by a P.T. Barnum quote.

Alec: Who doesn’t like the circus?

Lynette: Elephant.

Carolyn: Look at Lynette the PETA enthusiast!

Lynette: Shut up!

Margo: I was actually thinking the same thing, I can’t hear a single thing being said.

Alicia: Time to try hearing aids, meemaw.

Margo: You’re a jerk.

Alicia: It was a joke!

Doug: Now you’re the ones making a scene! Quiet down, I have to pay attention to these speeches so I have some guidance on what to say when I lose re-nomination in two years.

Carolyn: You’ll be fine, Doug. So you’re a little bit of a liberal and you don’t like coups, that’s okay. At least you vote with us on everything else important.

Doug: Thanks, Carolyn. That’s encouraging.

Alicia: Shh!!!

Doug: I deserved that.

Lynette: Aimee, are you sleeping?

Aimee: No, just laying back because I’m in extreme pain.

Lynette: Pain?

Aimee: You see, I’m pregnant.

Lynette: Pain like contractions?

Aimee: Pain like my back hurts and I’m too old for this shi-

Lynette: Listen, Danny Glover -

Aimee: I’m fine! Let’s just listen to Ed Norbert drone on about how great DC has been to him for the past forty-four years.

Alec: Gonna miss Ed. He didn’t know what was ever going on around him, but neither did Lynette. Now I’m losing them both.

Victor: Hey, Aimee. You ready to speak?

Aimee: Um, sure. I guess.

Victor: All right, once Ed shuts up, I’m allotting you your time.

Lynette: Uh, I have been waiting for two hours to give my farewell speech.

Victor: And you can continue to wait. Bask in the speeches of your fellow members. It’s my final gift you you.

Lynette: You can go fu-

Carolyn: Lynette, not here. This should be sacred ground.

Lynette: You thought the insurrection was okay, Care Bear.

Carolyn: That was uncalled for.

Lynette: You’re right, it was.

Victor: That so-called “insurrection” broke your brain.

Lynette: At least I have one!

Victor: Yes, a broken one.

Lynette: You don’t have one at all!

Victor: You’re a petulant child!

Alicia: For the love of God, shut up! Why can Republicans not take a damn hint?

Doug: Why are you on the Republican side of the House to begin with?

Alicia: Shut up Doug!

Carolyn: It looks like Ed’s about to sit back down.

Victor: All right, gotta go. Make sure you’re ready, Aimee!

Alec: Aimee was born ready.

Aimee: Don’t say the word “born,” please.

Alec: Oh, sorry.

Lynette: Are you sure you’re fine. You’re making some very peculiar noises

Aimee: I… am… I am fine.

Lynette: ‘Kay.

Nanette: Mr. Mulcahy, the time is yours.

Victor: I yield five minutes of my time to the gentlelady from Washington, Mrs. Ferrera Donahue.

Nanette: The gentlelady from Washington is recognized for five minutes.

Aimee: Thank you, Leader Mulcahy. Thank you, Madam Speaker. I ri- I ris- I rise todAY. OH MY GOD!

Nanette: Congresswoman, are you okay?

Aimee: I regret to re- report this but there is a - phew, breathe Aimee - there is a dampness moving down my leg. Just don’t look, uh, don’t look down there. Please.

Carolyn: Her water broke! She’s gotta go!

Aimee: I have a speech to gi-give.

Carolyn: I have three kids, I know when it’s time to go. You’re being stubborn, time to go.

Nanette: The gentlelady from Washington still has four and a half minutes.

Carolyn: Nanette, she’s going into labor.

Nanette: Oh, right. Aimee, you’d better go.

Aimee: Okay, fine. Thanks everyone, it’s been f- fun. See ya later.

Carolyn: Time to go! I’m driving you. Alec, let’s go.

Alec: Should I -

Carolyn: Call Dave and her parents? Yes.

Aimee: Aunt Victoria.

Alec: And Aunt Victoria, got it.

Carolyn: Get up, Alec. No time to waste!

Victor: Good luck, Aimee.

Lynette: Aimee, I’m going to give this speech and then I will be right there, okay?

Aimee: Got it.

Carolyn: Okay, bye, everyone!

One hour later, in Aimee’s hospital room…

Alec: How’s it going?

Aimee: I’M IN HELL!

Alec: Going well, I see.

Aimee: I’ve done this shit twice before, it’s still a nightmare.

Carolyn: There’s a reason Bob got a vasectomy. Three was enough.

Aimee: Dave’s getting one, too.

Alec: Is he aware of this?

Aimee: He will be the second he gets his ass in this hospital. Where is he?

Carolyn: Well, honey. Washington is on the other end of the country, and it takes time to fly here from there. Your whole family will be here soon enough!

Victoria: I’m here, though!

Aimee: Where is my suit?

Victoria: Your what?

Carolyn: I’m having it dry cleaned.

Aimee: Oh, aunt Victoria! You’re here!

Victoria: Yes, flew here right from the apartment. I saw a cop look my way, but I looked him in the eyes and said “nope!” and he could sense my energy and he turned around.

Alec: Did you fly literally or figuratively? Like, flying on a broom or just going very fast in a car?

Aimee: You don’t know her well enough to joke like that!

Alec: Sorry, sorry.

Aimee: How much longer? Where are the doctors?

Carolyn: They’re coming real soon, just wait. You have a ways to go yet.

Victoria: The water just broke an hour ago, it could be another day still! When I had my -

Aimee: SHUT UP!

Victoria: That was mean.

Aimee: I don’t need to hear how long it'll be. This is awful, I just want to go home!

Victoria: I suggested home birth and you laughed at me!

Aimee: There is nothing that sounds worse!

Alec: I have a feeling she’s going to be a treat to be around today.

Victoria: Cherie better get here fast, there’s only so much verbal abuse I can handle. It’s her turn!

Aimee: I’m sorry I’m being mean! I just hurt.

Carolyn: I know how to ease the pain. I’ll read you a book.

Aimee: Just not The Cat In the Hat.

Later that night…

Aimee: That was so sad, Carolyn!

Carolyn: I’m sorry, I didn’t realize a Joan Didion book would be so sad!

Alec: The book started out with her talking about the death of her daughter. Were we expecting it to get happy at some point?

Carolyn: I didn’t have any other books with me. Sorry for trying to provide a distraction.

Victoria: We got through the entire thing, so I’d say it was an effective-enough distraction tactic.

Lynette: Hey, guys. I think Aimee’s family is here.

Alec: Oh, that’s great!

Lynette: We might want to… you know.

Alec: Greet them?

Carolyn: She means we should give them privacy. Lord, Alec. How did you not catch on?

Alec: Long day.

Aimee: Really?

Dave: Honey! how are you feeling?

Aimee: We are not on speaking terms.

Dave: What did I do?

Kimmy: Look at her! You did that!

Dave: That doesn’t seem fair. It takes two to tango.

Aimee: You were the pushy one, bud. I’m irresistible.

Victoria: They gave her an epidural. It’s made her, well, it’s made her like this.

Kimmy: I like this Aimee! Roast someone else!

Aimee: Are you the nurse? Why are you dressed like that?

Kimmy: I take it back, this is unnatural and I don’t like it. Give me boring Aimee back!

Aimee: Boring?

Kimmy: Fine, normal.

Aimee: In was only pulling your le- UGH!

Cherie: Contraction?

Aimee: The baby is coming!

Ernesto: Now?

Victoria: Honey, the nurse said you’re only two centimeters dilated. You’re only having a contraction.

Cherie: What would you know about giving birth, Victoria? If she says it’s coming, it’s coming.

Victoria: She’s having a contraption.

Cherie: Stop being so disagreeable!

Ernesto: No one say a single word! Let them fight, do not involve yourself.

Kimmy: We’re at a hospital, this is the perfect time to get in there and break it up. If one of them injures you, just hit that panic button on Aimee’s bed and a nurse can come take care of you.

Ernesto: Good point.

Aimee: No one is going to fight, not in here! I want peace and tranquility.

Dave: And that’s what you're going to get!

Aimee: I said quiet from you!

Dave: Quiet it is, then.

Aimee: You aren’t listening…

Kimmy: Gonna be a fun night. For all of us.

Cherie: You can go if you don’t want to be here.

Kimmy: I didn’t say that!

Victoria: How is Cherie even moodier than the person giving birth?

Kimmy: She possesses a unique and special gift.

Ernesto: Kimmy, stop making fun of your mother.

Kimmy: But it’s fun!

Aimee: Are you all trying to annoy the baby right out of me? I think it might be working.

Ernesto: It’s an interesting strategy, right?

Kimmy: I’m always willing to lend a helping hand.

Twelve hours later…

Aimee: It’s time! Oh boy, is it ever time!

Cherie: Nurse! Someone! It’s time!

Ernesto: Dave, wake up. It’s time!

Dave: Am I allowed to speak? I forget.

Ernesto: I think she’ll let you.

Aimee: Tread lightly.

Dave: I always do.

Aimee: What’s that supposed to mean?

Dave: It means I didn’t tread lightly enough.

Nurse: Okay, yeah, she is indeed ready. We’re going to move her into the delivery room. Aimee, who do you want in with you? Only up to two people, please.

Dave: I know I’m not supposed to speak, but I’d like to go in, if you’re not too mad at me.

Aimee: Of course you can come in!

Dave: Oh, thank god.

Nurse: Who else? Quickly.

Aimee: Uh…

Ernesto: Take your mother, you know you won’t hear the end of it if you don’t.

Cherie: It’s your choice, you make it how you see fit.

Aimee: All right, Aunt Victoria.

Victoria: What? Me?

Aimee: Yes, you.

Cherie: This is a blindside.

Aimee: She doesn’t stress me out like you do.

Cherie: I thought stressing you out was the whole strategy!

Kimmy: I feel like I was never even considered, and that’s what hurts the most.

Nurse: Okay, we have to go in now. Everyone say your goodbyes.

Kimmy: Goodbyes? Are you going to kill her?

Cherie: She’s kidding. She’s kidding.

Ten minutes later, in the waiting room…

Cherie: This wait is killing me. Can you believe I wasn’t allowed in?

Lynette: It’s an outrage.

Cherie: Thank you!

Denise: I think Victoria is a very calming presence for her.

Cherie: When did you get in?

Denise: Two hours ago.

Cherie: What do you even know about Aimee, you’ve only known her a few months. Which is about how long Victoria has been back in her life. Unlike her loving mother!

Kimmy: You basically encouraged her to pick someone else. This is your own fault.

Cherie: How so?

Kimmy: “It’s your choice.”

Cherie: Everyone knows that’s just what people say to seem respectful!

Ernesto: It’s all going to be okay. All you miss out on is a bit of extra screaming.

Kimmy: Mom, I promise to have you in the room with me when i pop out my kids.

Cherie: Like that’s ever gonna happen.

Kimmy: What does that mean?

Cherie: Honey…

Carolyn: I think we’re all overlooking the miracle that’s occurring right down the hall. Aimee, our Aimee, is about to bring another life into this world! Is that not a magical gift?

Kimmy: I don’t know if I’d say it’s a “gift…” kids are more of a curse.

Ernesto: Don’t talk about yourself like that!

Lynette: Alec doesn’t even know it’s happening. He’s just sleeping right on through it all.

Cherie: I’m just scared.

Ernesto: Kimmy doesn’t look THAT bad without makeup!

Kimmy: Excuse me?

Cherie: I’m scared that something will happen in there and I won’t be there for her.

Carolyn: We always worry about our children, that never goes away.

Lynette: My father, Do-

Cherie: That’s great, sweetheart.

Lynette: No one is treated worse than me.

Carolyn: It’s normal to worry about your kids when you can’t be there for them. We have to let them live their lives, though. Aimee is going to be fine. She has Dave, Victoria, and a whole medical crew in there. No need to worry.

Cherie: I’m sure you’re right.

Lynette: She rarely is. This is advice is pretty decent, though.

Carolyn: You’re too kind.

Kimmy: Do you worry about me?

Cherie: Yes, but not in the way you’d like me to.

Thirty minutes later…

Dave: Okay…

Cherie: What’s up? Did something go wrong? Did she bite Victoria’s head off? Good girl!

Dave: We just want you to know that the baby is here. She’s a gorgeous, healthy baby girl with the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen.

Cherie: Enough about Aimee, what about the baby? What’s it’s name?

Dave: Aimee is fine, she’ll be glad to hear you’ve asked.

Kimmy: Name! What’s the name?

Dave: Isabel Joni Donahue.

Ernesto: Ferrera Donahue!

Dave: Yes, and the Ferrera is silent.

Cherie: That’s a beautiful name! The next one can be named Cherie, I guess.

Carolyn: Next one?

Dave: Carolyn, you know why her middle name is Joni? It’s because of you.

Carolyn: Me? My middle name is Foster, after my mother’s maiden name. my full name sounds like a law firm. The Law Offices of Carolyn, Foster, Mackenzie and Roy.

Dave: You read her that Didion book, that stuck with her. You were here for her when she needed you. You all were. Thank you.

Lynette: It’s no problem. Not all heroes wear capes.

Kimmy: Some heroes are the daughters of war criminal vice presidents!

Cherie: When can we see her?

Dave: They want her to rest, but very soon. I gotta go back to her, thanks for being here guys.

Cherie: Aww, I’m so happy.

Kimmy: All that stress for nothing!

Cherie: Is that not how it always goes?

What did you think of this episode of Evergreen Aimee? Let us know in the comments, vote in the poll below, and make sure to read the season finale next week!

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