Rodney & Sharon Season 1 Episode 3: Lunch Time

RODNEY enters the cafeteria. He sees GERALD and EARL sitting together at a table, and sits down with them. 

GERALD

Rodney! You finally met us for lunch!


RODNEY

You did tell me to.


EARL

Glad you made it. Why don’t you get yourself some food and we’ll have a little chat?


RODNEY looks at EARL blankly.


EARL

What, do you think someone’s gonna come wait on you?


RODNEY

Um…I guess not.


RODNEY gets up, too embarrassed to admit he thought the cafeteria operated as a sit-down restaurant. He comes back with a single chicken tender and a side of carrots.


RODNEY

This looks disgusting.


GERALD

You’ll get used to it.


RODNEY

So what did you guys want to talk about? Bingo strategy? 


GERALD looks to EARL.


EARL

It’d be a good icebreaker for this conversation at least.


RODNEY

Good, because I’ve got ideas. We need to get them to move it to 9:30 pm on Tuesdays behind knitting. There’d be a ton of spillover from the knitting crowd and it’d help bring in the 81-94 demo. Bingo skews surprisingly young thanks to me being there, and going up against karaoke on Saturdays is hurting it. We gotta get that girl who’s in charge on this. The way things are now, I don’t think bingo can get through July sweeps alive. 


GERALD

Alright first, there are plenty of 81-94ers playing bingo, you just haven’t noticed. I’m 81 myself actually, you’d know if you asked. Second, you really miss your TV programming days, don’t you?


RODNEY

I’m still getting used to retired life. I can’t just completely leave my work behind. Not with Russell here.


EARL

You know about Russell?


GERALD

That’s kind of what we wanted to talk to you about.


RODNEY

Yup, saw him the other day. We worked closely with each other in KTN’s heyday, but we always had different ideas on how to move forward. I’d call ourselves friendly rivals. But I’m glad he’s here. Distracts me from this whole Sharon thing.


EARL

How could Russell being here possibly distract you from Sharon? Those two are inseparable!


RODNEY is silent.


GERALD

Earl, I don’t think he knows.


RODNEY

What don’t I know?


GERALD takes a deep breath.


GERALD

Russell and Sharon are a couple. They’re dating. They’ve been dating for years.


RODNEY

That’s impossible, Sharon divorced me because of KTN. Russell’s really no different. How does she not know that?!


EARL

She knows.


RODNEY

So he has the same fatal flaw as me, yet she’s dating him?


GERALD

Maybe she settled.


EARL

Or maybe she changed her mind about KTN.


RODNEY

Nah, she lied to me. It’s all clear now: the divorce had nothing to do with me or KTN! I gotta get to the bottom of this. 


GERALD and EARL can tell RODNEY looks stressed.


EARL 

Why don’t you take your mind off of it for a little bit? They’re doing a Murder In The Dark binge watch tonight. We’ll come with you if you want.


RODNEY nods. He takes a bite of his chicken tender and winces.


RODNEY

So you really think I’ll get used to the food?


GERALD

We did.


RODNEY reluctantly eats the rest of his lunch in silence and heads back upstairs to his apartment.

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