Denise: Aimee, we have a problem.
Aimee: Oh, how I love hearing that! What’s wrong now?
Denise: Sharon Campbell flipped.
Aimee: Sharon Campbell? Dutiful, go-with-the-flow moderate Sharon Campbell? The woman primaried for being too nice to President Howard, but who was so popular in Maine, the primary challenger got 2%? That Sharon Campbell?
Denise: That Sharon Campbell!
Aimee: Damn her? What’s her problem with it.
Denise: It appears that someone, most likely Janie Emmer, pointed out that Senator Stowe is an early co-sponsor of the bill.
Aimee: Are you kidding me? My bill is going to die because a few women in their sixties can’t stand but to act like high schoolers?
Denise: You can flip another Democrat if you tried, I know you.
Aimee: Who, Gwen? Don’t think so.
Denise: Someone! Milton?
Aimee: Milton’s a yes already.
Denise: Who are the yeses?
Aimee: Mallman, Sylvan, Fredham, maybe Turner, Raver, Yeager, Verline, LeDarma, Carver, Yamamoto, Hassenfram, Winger, Landfield, Speck, Hausen, Callinger, Fowler, Frankman, Cruz, Martin, Marley, and Harrold.
Denise: You knew that off the top of your head?
Aimee: I’m very dedicated!
Denise: Use that dedication to change someone else’s mind! Maybe go talk to Sharon Campbell!
Aimee: Crazy people from Maine are my kryptonite.
Denise: How about a different Sharon, then? Balducci.
Aimee: She just paid me lip service because she’s my friend. She said she was saddened to “have” to vote no. I don’t think she’s gettable. The only reason she’d even consider it is personally liking me.
Denise: Sharon Campbell…
Aimee: I don’t wanna!
Denise: Aimee!
Aimee: Okay, fine. But I don’t know how to reason with her when her entire worldview appears to be to just do the opposite of what Olivia Stowe does.
Denise: Get them in the same room, talk it over. It’s your best bet, short of counting on another Democrat to come through.
Aimee: Set something up for tomorrow, okay? Don’t tell either one that the other is coming!
Denise: How do I get Olivia there? You’d have no reason to be wanting to meet with her, she’s not the one having a tantrum.
Aimee: I don’t know, you’ll figure it out.
Denise: I always do.
The next day…
Denise: Aimee, your meeting with the Maine senators is starting in twenty minutes. Might be best to get there early, so they don’t both get there before you and it blows everything up.
Aimee: Please don’t remind me of that.
Denise: Turner’s a yes on the bill, so you are officially one vote away from passing it.
Aimee: I know, that’s why I dread it so much. If she said she was a no, I’d just give up.
Denise: Why do these two get to you so much?
Aimee: I just don’t have the energy to deal with petty nonsense. If I wanted to do that, I would have become a teacher, not a senator!
Denise: It wasn’t exactly your intention to become a senator, either.
Aimee: You dwell on that too much. All right, I’m off. If I’m not back in an hour, one of them killed me.
Denise: They won’t kill you.
Aimee: If it gets bad enough, I’m hoping one of them will kill me just so I don’t have to hear it.
On the way to her meeting with the Maine senators, Aimee is stopped by Senator Sharon Balducci.
Sharon Balducci: Aimee! I tried to call you office, but the line was busy.
Aimee: Lots of activity going on lately, Sharon. I’m a hot commodity, apparently.
Sharon Balducci: Your bill’s supposed to be voted on tomorrow, it just passed the Transportation Committee. No shock people are getting in contact with you.
Aimee: We don’t talk about the Transportation Committee.
Sharon Balducci: It’s not that bad, is it?
Aimee: It’s pretty lousy. Alma barely knows where she is, and I can’t exactly blame her for disassociating, given how boring everything we discuss is.
Sharon Balducci: Naturally, that led you to write a bill about water travel.
Aimee: It’s funny how the cookie crumbles, isn’t it?
Sharon Balducci: I just wanted to stop and tell you, after consulting constituents about it, and hearing from them, your bill is something they’re interested in seeing enacted. So, I’m a yes.
Aimee: A yes? You’re a yes!
Sharon Balducci: I am indeed.
Aimee: I could kiss you! I won’t, that’d be creepy, but I could.
Sharon Balducci: Were you having doubts it’d be passed.
Aimee: Oh, if you only knew!
Sharon Balducci: Maine?
Aimee: How’d you know?
Sharon Balducci: Any time the Republicans can’t whip the votes they were expecting to get, it’s because of one of them.
Aimee: I actually have to go meet with them. So… yeah.
Sharon Balducci: My condolences.
Aimee: You just gave me the perfect cover to not negotiate with crazy, so you’ve saved this meeting from being so much worse.
Sharon Balducci: Happy to help!
Aimee: I’m running late, so I gotta go. I will see you later, and thanks again!
Aimee leaves and arrives for her meeting.
Sharon Campbell: Aimee Ferrera Donahue, I am very disappointed!
Aimee: Oh no.
Olivia: What is this?
Aimee: I, uh… it’s nothing.
Olivia: We were both told this was a one-on-one meeting.
Sharon Campbell: Did you try to trick us?
Aimee: Ladies, I was not trying to trick you. I just wanted you to talk out your conflict in the hopes that it will stop interfering with legislation. You don’t have to like each other -
Olivia: Good, we never will!
Aimee: I just think, for the people of Maine and this country, it’s best to not spitefully vote in opposite directions on any bill with a semi-realistic chance of passing.
Sharon Campbell: You thought you could fix a twenty-year feud in a half-hour?
Aimee: Again, I’m not asking you to like each other. I just hope that you two feuding won’t be enough to sink a bill that can do a lot of good.
Sharon Campbell: This is underhanded. I’m very, very concerned about this sort of tactic.
Olivia: You’re always concerned!
Sharon Campbell: At least I don’t brazenly crave attention like you!
Olivia: Oh, yes, the ranking member on Appropriations really lays low!
Sharon Campbell: It’s “lies” low! Learn English!
Aimee: See, this is the funding that I -
Olivia: Aimee, stay out of this!
Aimee: Gladly.
Sharon Campbell: I vote against every bill she supports because I know nobody on earth with worse judgment than her. If she thinks it’s a good bill, clearly it’s not.
Aimee: How are you two in the same party?
Sharon Campbell: I was here first!
Olivia: Yes, Sharon, you invested the Republican Party.
Sharon Campbell: I never claimed that. I simply said won’t change my views because of you.
Olivia: That’s not at all what you said! You said you automatically take the view I don’t hold, because of my “bad judgment.”
Sharon Campbell: Don’t tell me how I feel!
Olivia: Do you see why I find her so irritating, Aimee?
Aimee: I’m afraid to answer that.
Sharon Campbell: You want my vote? Lose hers!
Aimee: That really doesn’t help my cause, Sharon. But you’re all free to make whatever choices you want. I just wish you’d vote on the merits of the written legislation, and your opinion of it, not anyone else’s.
Sharon Campbell: And I choose to vote no on something that this one over here felt strongly enough about to slap her name onto it.
Olivia: And I‘m not changing my vote.
Aimee: Well, gals, I appreciate the, uh… spirited debate, but I’m going to go, since your minds seem to be made up.
Sharon Campbell: Never forget the disappointment you made me feel.
Aimee: Sure.
The next day…
Aimee: Big day today! Just got off the floor advocating for my bill, then I’m back out there later to vote for it. I am really about to pass a major law that’ll actually be signed into law! Me!
Denise: Aimee…
Aimee: No.
Denise: I have news.
Aimee: No, you don’t!
Denise: I do.
Aimee: Stop saying that!
Denise: Senator DeFord fell in the street last night and broke his hip. He needs reconstructive surgery and won’t be voting today or anytime soon.
Aimee: You’re kidding.
Denise: We don’t have the votes, Aimee. Maybe a Democrat changes to a yes, but that’s just wishful thinking.
Aimee: I don’t know what to do. I don’t know who we win over.
Denise: One last attempt at winning Sharon Campbell.
Aimee: No!
Denise: You are a master of persuasion, you can make her understand how juvenile it is to vote no just because Olivia is voting yes.
Aimee: I tried that once.
Denise: The vote’s in an hour. She’s your best bet.
Aimee: I hate this job.
Denise: I know.
In Sharon Campbell’s office…
Sharon Campbell: Aimee, what are you here for? I think yesterday’s talk was fairly definitive.
Aimee: Sharon, my bill, which will save lives and protect our country, will die if you stick to being petty and juvenile and vote no just to spite Olivia. I know you like to tout your moderate, common sense credentials. In voting no, you will join our chamber’s most extreme members and reject common sense in the name of keeping up a petty fight with a senator who didn’t write this bill and will gain nothing from its passage.
Sharon Campbell: Is calling me juvenile a way to win my vote?
Aimee: It’s a way to make you see the error of your ways.
Sharon Campbell: I don’t believe I have erred.
Aimee: Sharon, it’s up to you how you vote, but several advocacy groups for boating and waterworks safety have said this bill would make our oceans, lakes and rivers safer. It’s up to you to determine how you’d like to vote, but beg you to cast your vote based on your own assessment of this bill, not on Olivia’s. I made this same pitch yesterday, but I am now begging you to take it seriously. I think the people of Maine would be in support of this legislation. Are you not their champion?
Sharon Campbell: I like to think of myself in that way.
Aimee: Vote in a way that makes them happy. Vote in a way that helps you sleep at night. All I ask.
Aimee leaves and heads to the Senate floor.
Geraldine: I haven’t been following along with this bill all that much aside from the speeches I’ve heard in the last hour, how’s it looking, Aimes?
Aimee: It’s out of my hands.
Greg: That’s never good.
Aimee: I have twenty-three Democrats that have indicated support, I have thirty-six Republicans that have indicated support, and I have Sharon Campbell.
Greg: Oh boy.
Geraldine: Those two have made Maine my least-favorite state.
Aimee: She’s very disappointed I tried to “trick” her and let Olivia co-sponsor. We’ll see how that carries over into her vote.
Geraldine: Well, you gave it a good fight, Aimee.
Aimee: It’s not dead!
Geraldine: Yeah, you’re good friends with Gwen Gardenia, maybe she’ll back it!
Aimee: Gerry…
Geraldine: I know, I should just let you sit here and feel what you need to about this one.
Greg: If you need me to, I’ll vote no so I can bring it back up for a vote down the line.
Aimee: No, I’d rather not go through this again.
Greg: Fair enough.
Tweet minutes later…
Clerk: Mrs. Balducci.
Sharon Balducci: Aye.
Clerk: Mrs. Balducci, aye. Mrs. Barnum?
Belle Barnum: Aye.
Clerk: Mrs. Barnum, Aye. Mrs. Baum?
Aimee: Oh my god, this takes forever.
Geraldine: I know, it’s a very boring part of the job.
Aimee: The wait’s killing me!
Clerk: Mr. Buchman, no. Ms. Callinger?
Phoebe Callinger: Aye!
Clerk: Ms. Callinger, aye.
Aimee: Here we go…
Clerk: Ms. Campbell of Maine?
Sharon Campbell: Aye.
Aimee: Oh my god, we did it.
Geraldine: Who’s we? You did it. You got the crazy ladies to vote together. Maybe you should be whip!
Greg: Technically, Olivia did not vote you.
Aimee: Ah, crap.
Geraldine: She wouldn’t….
Ten minutes later…
Clerk: Mr. Springer?
John Springer: Aye!
Aimee: Moment of truth. She looks happy, I don’t think she’s about to crush my dreams.
Clerk: Mrs. Stowe?
Olivia: Aye.
Aimee: We did it!
Greg: For real this time!
One hour later…
Aimee: Denise! We did it!
Denise: I saw! 60-36!
Aimee: We didn’t need Campbells’ vote? We had sixty percent regardless?
Denise: We sure did!
Aimee: You gotta be kidding me.
Denise: In hindsight, we should have figured Baum and Ross weren’t going to vote.
Aimee: Doesn’t matter, we won anyway!
Denise: It’s so good to get a win.
Aimee: Tomorrow we go back to losing, but tonight, we rule the world!
Gwen: Am I intruding on something?
Aimee: You didn't vote for my bill, so, yeah!
Gwen: Then I'll excuse myself. It wasn't a bad bill, though. Good job.
Aimee (shouting): You could've voted for it!
Gwen: I don't hear you!
The next day...
Aimee: Guys, it's so good to see you again! And you're taking a joint meeting? When did you get so friendly?
Nanette: It's not something we like to publicize too much.
Victor: It's a bit embarrassing, people can't know we're friendly.
Nanette: We trust you, though.
Aimee: So, about the bill -
Nanette: You don't want to butter us up first?
Aimee: I did get you tea and biscuits. Do you need more buttering up?
Nanette: I kid! No, I get wanting to get to business. The House is where Republican bills go to do.
Aimee: Carolyn said -
Nanette: Carolyn...
Victor: Incredibly annoying woman.
Aimee: She's a good person.
Victor: Different strokes for different folks.
Aimee: So, about the bill...
Nanette: Your bill has majority support in the House. I will be voting for it, roughly half my caucus will vote for it, as will Victor and most of his caucus. You're going to write a law, Aimee.
Victor: Well, once Greg and I sweet-talk Delphy into signing it.
Nanette: Don't talk too much about how much of a win it is, my caucus won't like giving him one of those.
Victor: That bill-signing ceremony's gonna be... something.
Nanette: Don't worry, Aimee, I'll be there to protect you.
Aimee: I feel like I'm in the House all over again!
Nanette: My condolences.
What did you think of this episode of Evergreen Aimee? Let us know in the comments and make sure to read a new episode next week!
