Marietta walks into the mayor’s office.
Marietta: How’s the Bethany situation unfolding?
Tammy: She’s taking us to court to prevent the ordinances from being enacted.
Marietta: She does realize that the city council can just pass those ordinances again for me to sign if she’s so convinced that them being from a few months ago has somehow made them “expire,” right?
Amy: We’re not dealing with a smart person here.
Marietta: Yeah, Milton did say she thought a senate term was four years.
Henrietta: A lot of people don’t know that, to be fair.
Marietta: While they’re actively running for senate?
Henrietta: Yeah, that’s a bit of a problem.
Amy: we don’t need to worry about her. Just keep doing our work pushing the city forward. One city councilor desperately yearning for attention is the least of our concern.
Tammy: I agree, no need to concern ourselves too much with Bethany. She’s a minor nuisance, plenty of other things to worry about now.
Amy: One of those other things to worry about just hit your desk this morning! The city council passed a measure unanimously to rename the New Orleans City Park.
Marietta: That’s the most important order of business for today? Wow, I must’ve really whipped this city into shape if it’s become so safe that a park renaming is a bigger issue than crime.
Tammy: I think this particular renaming will pique your interest.
Marietta: The Martin J. Landfield City Park? Did you guys know about this?
Tammy: We weren’t sure it would pass, given how tricky the council can be regarding your family. But Moira passionately advocated for it, and Marissa made sure to champion it, too. They got everyone, even the Republican simpleton.
Marietta: That’s not very nice to say, is it? They’re not all simpletons.
Amy: She’s a simpleton because she’s very dumb, not because she’s a Republican. I’ve known many smart Republicans, smarter than a lot of my fellow Democrats. She’s not one of them.
Henrietta: How did she get a job in the news?
Amy: Have you looked at her?
Henrietta: She is quite pretty.
Amy: And that is her only positive attribute. Dumb, horrible politics, nasty attitude…
Marietta: Tell us how you really feel!
Amy: I could go on and on.
Marietta: I believe you.
Tammy: How do you feel about renaming the park? I didn’t know if you’d think it was too soon, or if you’d be in favor.
Marietta: Look, I’m biased, but I’m of the mind that no one has done more for this city than my father. He certainly deserves to have the park named after him. It’s not too soon for me. It’s too late, really. He should’ve been here to see it.
Amy: I completely agree. He was a major influence on this city. In many ways, he was our first modern mayor. He redefined what it meant to be a mayor.
Tammy: I can’t say I was paying much attention to the mayor of New Orleans back in the day, but his legacy speaks for itself. Mayor, governor, cabinet secretary, UN Ambassador, and through it all, he always knew where home was, he always delivered for this city. And that I saw firsthand.
Marietta: I always forget that dad was Secretary of Transportation back when Mitch was president.
Tammy: And when Ambassador Friedan died unexpectedly, your dad stepped out of retirement for the sake of the country.
Marietta: Mom was so mad he left retirement again.
Tammy: He was an American original.
Marietta: But enough dwelling on him, I already have to go down memory lane tonight.
Tammy: Why, what do you have planned?
Marietta: I unfortunately have to help my mother clean out the house.
Tammy: Is she selling it? Gosh, I can’t imagine a Landfield not living in the Landfield mansion.
Marietta: No, she could never. She’ll be buried in that house if she gets her way.
Tammy: That’s good to hear.
Marietta: She’s just trying to clear out some old junk and get the attic in order.
Amy: What’s she getting it in order for?
Marietta: I have no idea, I just know she claims to want to do a garage sale.
Amy: Is she sure about that? I know she has a problem letting go.
Marietta: That’s what Moira, Kathleen and I are there for, to help talk her out of keeping it all.
Tammy: She’s never been good at listening to others.
Marietta: Tell be about it. I’ve had to deal with her strong-headedness for sixty years! Dad was the only one who could keep her in line.
Tammy: I’m guessing she’ll have a hard time parting with anything that was his, too.
Marietta: It depends. Surprisingly, she’s already parted with his clothes. She gave them to Milton to sort through, and then she’s donating whatever he doesn’t want. Though, I think that’s more about her wanting more closet space than anything.
Tammy: I wish you good luck. I certainly wouldn’t want to have to do what you’re doing tonight.
Amy: Yeah, when one of my parents dies, I’m hiring someone to box all their things up. I won’t have the will to go through it myself.
Henrietta: You always the exact right thing to say. Then you say the opposite.
Amy: Thank you!
Marietta: Okay, enough chitchat, we need to work. Nobody who took as much time off as we did in the las year gets to slack off this much after coming back to work.
Amy: In fairness, our jobs are mostly nonsense.
Marietta: That’s true.
Later that day, Marietta is leaving work when she gets a call from Milton.
Milton: Marietta, you there?
Marietta: I picked up, did I not?
Ellie: Is that Marietta? Tell her I said hi!
Marietta: I can hear you, Ellie!
Milton: She said she can - you know what, I’ll put you on speakerphone.
Ellie: Marietta! Hi!
Marietta: Hi, Ellie!
Kate: Ellie, you are the nosiest person I’ve ever met. Let the man talk to his sister in peace. And hi, Marietta.
Milton: No, it’s fine, I honestly expect one of you to chime in when either of you is within a half mile of me when I call her.
Kate: Me?
Milton: Yeah, you, but it’s fine.
Marietta: So what’s up/ Why’d you call?
Milton: Am I allowed to tell her/
Kate: Yeah, go ahead.
Milton: Moira texted me and said she was going over to mom’s house. What’s that about?
Marietta: I’m not Moira.
Milton: I didn’t feel like bugging her, she’s busy.
Marietta: But I was fine to bug? She’s your wife, Milton.
Ellie: Yeah, that’s weird, man.
Kate: I’m staying out of this.
Milton: I don’t want to pry.
Marietta: You’re prying me.
Milton: You know what I mean! I’m glad she’s going to see mom and bonding, I’m just confused as to why, but I don’t want to make her feel strange about it.
Marietta: It’s not for anything important. I’m going over too, we’re helping mom clear out her attic for a garage sale and just to reduce clutter in general.
Milton: Mom? Reducing clutter? Having a garage sale? Is she okay?
Marietta: What do you mean?
Milton: Clutter is her whole thing. Have you seen that house at Christmas?
Marietta: That’s an organized clutter.
Milton: Regardless, don’t you think this is indicative of something?
Marietta: You mean besides a garage sale?
Milton: What if she’s clearing things out so she can downsize? That’s a big house for two elderly women.
Marietta: They’re like betta fish, if you put them in a little house together, they’ll kill each other.
Milton: I think two bettas in any size tank together will attack and kill one another.
Marietta: I’m not that concerned about accurately describing the behavior patterns of pet fish.
Milton: Just saying!
Marietta: Mom would never leave that house.
Milton: you sure?
Marietta: It reminds her of dad!
Milton: It reminds all of us of dad, but you and I don’t live there.
Marietta: Because mom does.
Milton: What I’m saying is, she might be looking to move into a house that she can manage easier at her age. They’re both almost eighty, that’s a lot of house to take care of at their age.
Marietta: Where are they gonna move, a retirement home? Mom and aunt Kathleen are not retirement home people.
Milton: Just a smaller house. I’m not even saying it’s certain, this just seems like something she’d only do for some other reason.
Marietta: She just lost her husband, I think going through her old junk is a way to keep her occupied. That’s all.
Milton: Maybe, just keep an eye on her. I don’t want her to make any impulsive decisions while she’s still grieving.
Marietta: I won’t let her, and neither will Kathleen. Moira will try her best.
Milton: What does that mean?
Marietta: She loves Moira very much and accepts her as her daughter-in-law, but she doesn’t fear her like she fears Kathleen, and she doesn’t have sixty years of mutual respect and trust like she does with me. She doesn’t take her opinion into account quite as much as she does ours.
Milton: I suppose that’s fair.
Ellie: If that all fails, I’ll call her up and tell her not to sell!
Milton: That’ll do it.
Ellie: I agree, it will.
Marietta: I’ll talk to you guys later, I’ll tell you how the garage sale’s coming along.
Milton: Looking forward to it!
Twenty minutes later…
Marietta: Sorry I’m late!
Kathleen: Oh, don’t worry, there’s still plenty of work to be done! This might be an multi-dat project.
Marietta: Multi-day? It’s an attic. How much can be up there?
Kathleen: It’s already almost five, you go to bed early, and it’s a complete war zone up there. Your mom wants it completely cleared out/
Marietta: Really? Why?
Kathleen: She wants to renovate it I think.
Moira: She explained it to me, I didn’t quite understand it. I didn’t want to be rude, so I pretended it made sense to me.
Kathleen: My theory, not that I asked her, is that she wants even more living space so she has another room to go to hide from me.
Marietta: That sounds plausible!
Patty Lynn: There ya are! I was starting to think I got stood up!
Marietta: Ah, no, just got hung up on a phone call leaving work. Nothing for you to worry about.
Patty Lynn: Ooh, a mystery phone call!
Marietta: Not a mystery, just Milton calling to catch up.
Patty Lynn: I wish he were here for this, then he could tell us what stuff he wanted for himself.
Moira: You know, I’m right here. I can vouch for him,
Patty Lynn: Yeah, but you don’t know the emotional connection to some of these items.
Moira: I could text him to ask if it were that important.
Patty Lynn: That would be great!
Kathleen: So that’s covered. Maybe let’s get in the attic and get to work.
Patty Lynn: There’s no need to rush, we’ve got plenty of time.
Kathleen: You haven’t been up there, it is jam packed with stuff. This’ll take days.
Marietta: Good thing we hav time, say Moira?
Moira: Yeah, our jobs don’t keep us too busy.
Marietta: And to think, I was almost president!
Kathleen: Well… you were the favorite for the nomination of a party notorious for fumbling surefire victories. Let’s leave it at that.
Patty Lynn: To the attic we go!
In the attic…
Marietta: Oh my god!
Patty Lynn: Yeah, it’s a little dusty.
Marietta: A little?
Patty Lynn: We never really cleaned the attic, just tossed everything up here for storage.
Marietta: I can see that.
Patty Lynn: Where to start?
Kathleen: Turning a light on would probably be good.
Patty Lynn: Oh, yeah. Hope it still works. It does!
Kathleen: Incredible.
Marietta: If you want to clear the whole attic out, shouldn’t we just start taking the boxes down?
Patty Lynn: No, I don’t want to take a bunch of dusty boxes down, I’ll just toss it all out. I have some big boxes back downstairs, we can separate everything into boxes to keep, boxes to throw out, and boxes to sell.
Marietta: Okay, sounds good to me.
Kathleen: I’m shocked you actually have a process planned out. Not shocked that you forgot to bring the boxes up with us, though.
Patty Lynn: Hey, I’m old, cut me some slack.
Kathleen: I’m old, too, I get to mock you for being old.
Marietta: My lips are sealed.
Kathleen: You’re getting old, too.
Marietta: That was uncalled for.
Thirty minutes later…
Marietta: Is this a signed Emeril Lagasse cookbook? Since when do you use cookbooks to cook?
Moira: Bam!
Patty Lynn: Oh, Emeril was an old friend of ours! We used to go down to eat at Commander’s Palace back when he was rising to prominence. Nice guy. Loud, though, you know, with all the “bams” and whatnot.
Marietta: There is so much I never knew about you and dad.
Kathleen: They hid an entire dead kid from you, hiding a friendship with a culinary icon is nothing.
Moira: Did you ever meet Julia Child? She’s my favorite.
Patty Lynn: Keep looking, I might have a book from her too! Don’t recall meeting her, though, but the seventies were a wild time.
Marietta: “Julia Child” and “wild” just don’t fit together at all in my mind.
Kathleen: They rhyme pretty well, though.
Moira: So are we keeping Emeril or not?
Patty Lynn: Eh…
Moira: That’s a no, I think.
Patty Lynn: That’s a good sell, I think. Five bucks?
Moira: Three, it’s an old book. His hair was still black! And full!
Patty Lynn: But it’s signed!
Marietta: Okay, how about this… bar sign?
Patty Lynn: Garbage. Doesn’t work.
Marietta: Why’d you keep it?
Patty Lynn: Your dad stole it once!
Marietta: What? Dad stole something?
Moira: This has been wild.
Marietta: Friend of Emeril, thief, what else didn’t I know about you two?
Moira: Is this a stuffed squirrel?
Patty Lynn: That was our pet! He stays!
Marietta: You had a pet squirrel?
Moira: What the hell was going on in this house?
Patty Lynn: I’m messing with you! Your dad bought that as a gag when a museum went out of business. I’d feel too bad about tossing that out, sell it.
Kathleen: Is this a tire swing? Why is this in the attic?
Patty Lynn: That was out front when Sarah was little!
Marietta: She hasn’t been little in… a while.
Patty Lynn: But don’t you miss when she was?
Marietta: You know, on the topic of swings, I have news! I don’t know how you’ll feel about it, and I wanted your approval first, but the city council - Moira, you know what this is about.
Moira: Sure do!
Marietta: They passed a measure to rename the city park after dad. You good with that?
Patty Lynn: Am I good with that? Of course I am!
Marietta: I just know how triggering it is to keep thinking about him, we’d have to be there for a whole ceremony talking about him and I know how triggering that can be.
Patty Lynn: Triggering? I wouldn’t be going through this stuff already if it were triggering. Remembering him brings me comfort. It’s one of the few things that does. I miss him.
Marietta: We all miss him.
Kathleen: It’s just sort of unbelievable that he’s not here anymore.
Patty Lynn: Moira knows why, but I never told you why I’m clearing out this dusty old hazard of an attic.
Marietta: Yeah, I stepped on an old spring, and there was a nail protruding from the floor.
Kathleen: It’s a pretty nice attic to only have the one nail sticking up and a few loose springs.
Marietta: That’s true.
Patty Lynn: Your dad always wanted to turn this into a nice living space. There was always too much junk up here to make it happen, but I figured, with you help, I could make it happen.
Kathleen: What do we need another room for?
Patty Lynn: I just think it would be nice!
Kathleen: Okay, fair enough. Can’t knock you for wanting a finished attic that isn’t a humid sauna.
Patty Lynn: I have guys coming to check it out next week and plan a remodel.
Marietta: I feel so relieved.
Maria: Hey! You up there?
Patty Lynn: Yeah, come on up!
Marietta: Why’s Maria here?
Patty Lynn: Oh, she found we were going through stuff. She’s into that vintage, thrift store stuff. I guess she wants to see what she’d like from here.
Marietta: That’s one more person to carry stuff down the stairs, that’s good.
Patty Lynn: You never said why you were relieved.
Marietta: I thought, and mainly because Milton put the idea in my head, that you were clearing things out to sell the house.
Patty Lynn: Sell the house? My house? Never! I will die in this house. I picked out the exact place where it’ll happen.
Kathleen: Will it at least be at my hands?
Patty Lynn: Possibly.
Marietta: That’s a relief. I’m emotionally attached to this house!
Moira: Of course you are, you grew up in it! I’ve been in the family two years and I’m attached to it!
Maria: What’s going on up here? My gosh, this is a wonderland.
Kathleen: Wonderland? This is hell!
Patty Lynn: I got two boxes there of things I’m getting rid of, you can go ahead and look through it and see wha you want.
Maria: Oh, I’ll take it all.
Kathleen: I could kiss you.
Patty Lynn: All of it?
Maria: I love this vintage stuff, it’s perfect. I’ll pay you for it if you want, I don’t want to rob you.
Patty Lynn: No, we’re family. I’m not gonna have anything left for the garage sale, though!
Marietta: Milton was right about one thing, you will never have a garage sale.
Kathleen: Thank god.
What did you think of this episode of Marietta? Let us know in the comments and make sure to read the new episode next week!
