Ernesto and Kimmy are driving in Ernesto’s car.
Kimmy: So, you planning anything big for you and mom’s fiftieth anniversary?
Ernesto: For our what?
Kimmy: Men…
Ernesto: I knew our anniversary was around this time, I just didn’t know it was the fiftieth.
Kimmy: Dad, it’s in four days.
Ernesto: You’re kidding!
Kimmy: Oh my god, you’re hopeless.
Ernesto: I have to do something, right?
Kimmy: You’re asking?
Ernesto: I know! I just don’t have any idea what I can put together in four days.
Kimmy: You’re gonna have to get an idea, because she’ll divorce you on the spot if you don’t do anything for the big fiftieth! Coupled don’t just celebrate fifty years of marriage every day!
Ernesto: I know that!
Kimmy: You’re not acting like you know it. You forgot it was even your fiftieth!
Ernesto: If if just dawned on you that you were old enough to be married fifty years, you’d want to forget it too!
Kimmy: Oh, come on, dad, you being old is not news to anyone.
Ernesto: That makes me feel much better!
Kimmy: Honesty is the best policy.
Ernesto: So what do you think I should get her?
Kimmy: It’s supposed to come from your heart, not mine.
Ernesto: Come on, you can help out your dear old dad!
Kimmy: We’ll brainstorm later, first we’re going to Bath & Body Works. The moms that shop here are ruthless when there’s a big sale, and this is their big spring sale. They’re not going to beat me to it!
Ernesto: Is there anything I can get here there?
Kimmy: You want to get her soap for your fiftieth anniversary?
Ernesto: It’s good soap. It smells nice.
Kimmy: Yeah, this will be your fiftieth and final anniversary.
Meanwhile, Aimee and Cherie are talking on the phone.
Cherie: Can you believe I’ve been putting up with your father for the last fifty years?
Aimee: It’s really been that long? How did he survive fifty years of knowing aunt Vic?
Cherie: Living in different states sure helped.
Aimee: So, what are you two doing for your big day?
Cherie: He hasn’t mentioned anything. I think he’s got a big surprised up his sleeve.
Aimee: Oh, yeah, I’m sure that’s what it is.
Cherie: Why do you say it like that?
Aimee: Often, when a man doesn’t so much as hint that they know their anniversary is coming up…
Cherie: He would never forget!
Aimee: Dave is practically perfect, but remembering dates is his kryptonite. Maybe drop some subtle hints.
Cherie: I don’t need to. I know he’s going to give me a wonderful anniversary surprise. In fact, that’s why I’m calling. I know it’s last minute, but I’ve just been thinking about it and worrying that what I already got him isn’t big enough for such a milestone. I need your help setting up a surprise of my own to outdo his!
Aimee: It won’t be hard to do that.
Cherie: Aimee, I’m serious!
Aimee: Of course. What idea do you have, and how can I help?
Cherie: Your father has always wanted to go on a hot air balloon ride. You have a lot of influence here, you can help me get a permit for such a flight.
Aimee: I think you could just book one of those online, no?
Cherie: The closest is in Seattle! I don’t want to drive that far.
Aimee: Well, I don’t have connections in the hot air balloon industry, but I’ll see what I can do, okay?
Cherie: That’s all I ask. And if it’s not possible to get it done, thankfully I have that backup plan.
Aimee: What’s that backup plan, exactly?
Cherie: I’m not telling you, if you think it’s a good enough gift, you won’t help me.
Aimee: I could never be so sneaky.
Cherie: You sure about that?
Aimee: No, I absolutely could be.
Cherie: I appreciate you admitting it.
Aimee: I’m many things, but I’m not a liar.
Later that day…
Aimee: Hey…
Geraldine: What’s wrong?
Aimee: Wrong? Why do you think anything is wrong?
Greg: You do tend to visit us when things are wrong.
Geraldine: I understand, though. Look at our caucus, what ever goes right for us?
Greg: Gerry, we need to stop the loser mentality. That’s how we lose, by resigning to that fate.
Geraldine: How much winning are you seeing lately?
Greg: So, Aimee, what brings you here?
Geraldine: That answers that.
Aimee: I need help.
Geraldine: We all do, this conference is the first thing that’s ever made me doubt the wisdom of one Tom Petty, because these losers get lucky no times.
Aimee: Well, I need a bit of luck, because my mother has a weird request and I wanted to know if you guys had any idea who to talk to about it. She wants to do a hot air balloon ride with my dad for their anniversary, but she wants it to take off from our hometown. Maybe even from their backyard, I don’t know, she didn’t really lay out the gameplay for me. Who do I contact for that?
Greg: Ah, don’t worry about it. I have friends in the FAA. In fact, my former chief of staff is the administrator. I’ll get you in touch with him, and you can set it all up.
Aimee: Wow, that’d be great!
Geraldine: You never help me out like that!
Greg: Well, Aimee asks nicer than you do.
Geraldine: I can’t dispute that.
Later that night…
Aimee: I’m home!
Victoria: Dave’s on the phone, I’m watching over dinner.
Aimee: That’s concerning.
Victoria: I’m a great cook!
Aimee: It’s sweet that you still try, considering your skill level. I’ll give you that.
Victoria: That was very unkind.
Aimee: Sorry, I’m just tired. Mom asked me to do something for their anniversary and I’ve been busy trying to get it done. It was actually a pretty nice distraction from Senate work.
Victoria: Oh, I forgot it’s their anniversary. What’s she getting him?
Aimee: A ho- wait, you have a big mouth.
Victoria: That was uncalled for.
Aimee: You talk a lot, you know that. What if you spoil it without even thinking about it?
Victoria: I wouldn’t!
Aimee: Okay, she asked me to help organize a hot air balloon ride. It’s always been on dad’s bucket list.
Victoria: Probably a good time to get on that bucket list, given his age.
Aimee: Oh my god!
Victoria: Hey, if you can be sassy, so can I!
Aimee: So, do you promise not to tell him?
Victoria: I don’t know what reason I’d even have to be talking to him.
Dave: Aimee, that was your father.
Aimee: I don’t know what reason he’d have to be talking to him either, and yet.
Dave: I feel like I’m missing context.
Victoria: Aimee’s afraid I’m going to spoil Cherie’s anniversary gift for Ernesto.
Dave: That’s funny, that’s what Ernesto called me about.
Aimee: I don’t know how you spoiled it without even speaking to him, but I think you might be a witch.
Dave: No, he doesn’t know anything. He didn’t even realize it was almost their anniversary until just today.
Aimee: I told her! I said men always forget these things, and mom didn’t listen! I organized a damn balloon ride just to outdo his big surprise, and of course, he has nothing planned, because he’s a man!
Dave: Actually, he is trying to plan something. He wants me to fly into Washington early to help set up a little altar where they can renew their vows. Kimmy’s setting up a slideshow of photos of all their best moments over the last fifty years.
Aimee: Aww, that’s actually kinda sweet. I feel bad for briefly thinking of him as a deadbeat husband.
Dave: He has a request for you, too.
Aimee: Of course he does! What do I have to do?
Dave: He wants you to officiate the ceremony.
Aimee: I’m not ordained!
Dave: You actually are, which I know, because your father looked it up.
Aimee: Of course he did.
Dave: Yes, a current member of Congress is among the list of people authorized to solemnize a marriage.
Victoria: Besides, a vow renewal isn’t legally binding. Anyone can perform that ceremony.
Aimee: I’m learning so much.
Victoria: It concerns me that you didn’t know it, given that you’re both married and a longtime member of Congress.
Aimee: No one likes me enough to ask me to officiate their marriage!
Dave: I take it you’re a yes, then?
Aimee: I can’t exactly say no to my father.
Dave: You say no to me.
Aimee: He gave me life.
Victoria: Your mother likes to take the majority of the credit.
Aimee: As someone who’s birthed three children, she gets most of the credit. The father’s portion of that process is fairly quick.
Victoria: On a different note, I think it’s sweet that they’re both planning big surprises for the other one. This is a major milestone for them.
Dave: Oh, really? What’s Cherie got planned?
Aimee: A hot air balloon ride that I did most of the work to set up. Really, they should both thank me for this anniversary, none of it could be happening without me.
Dave: Aimee, you sound bitter.
Aimee: No, I’m not bitter. I just need a nap.
Dave: It’s five o’clock.
Aimee: So?
Dave: You’ll disrupt your sleep.
Aimee: Hey, if you had to talk to a jackass from the FAA without cursing him out because he’s Greg’s friend, you’d need a. Good rest too.
Victoria: How bad was that phone call?
Aimee: It wasn’t that he was rude, it’s just… have you ever had a two-hour discussion about the rules of flight safety?
Victoria: Doesn’t sound exciting.
Aimee: Denise had to shake me awake, I was falling asleep.
Dave: I take it you won’t be seeking a job as FAA administrator when your term ends?
Aimee: The Transportation Committee is my absolute worst assignment. I appreciate planes, they get me places quickly, but I don’t need to hear the ins and outs of the industry and all about their rules. Snooze!
Dave: You have the power to get off that committee, no?
Aimee: Are you kidding? There are forty of us, we all have to be on like half the committees just to keep them fully staffed.
Dave: The Republican conference operates frighteningly similarly to a store that’s going out of business.
Aimee: I wish we’d go out of business, people actually show interest in going out of business sales.
Four days later…
Aimee: All right, I’m here. Where is dad?
Kimmy: He’s at the store.
Aimee: The store?
Kimmy: He didn’t feel like a vow renewal ceremony should be her only gift, so he went out to buy her a new ring, too.
Aimee: Where, Costco?
Kimmy: There’s a jewelry store in town!
Aimee: Yeah, but that’s gonna take a while.
Kimmy: We stall.
Aimee: I know he asked me to get all the kids here… I’m hoping he will settle for a few of my weirdest friends.
Kimmy: None of them could come?
Carolyn: Wasn’t important enough for them to clear their schedules. Have no fear, we are here.
Kimmy: Not one of them?
Aimee: Patrick is at a work conference, it’s Junior’s week with the kids, Eloise is heavily pregnant, and Dianna is battling COVID. So we’re repping the family.
Kimmy: If we put Carolyn and Lynette in wigs, we might be able to convince them that they’re Eloise and Dianna.
Lynette: You think I could pass for a thirty year-old?
Kimmy: From a faraway distance, sure.
Carolyn: I don’t.
Aimee: So, does mom not wonder where everyone is?
Kimmy: I’m never home at this time on a Saturday, and dad running an errand isn’t that surprising. I don’t know how we’re getting her here, though.
Victoria: Don’t worry, Aimee, I found my way!
Aimee: I left you in the car. It’s not even a mile away, I’d hope you could find your way.
Victoria: Oh, hi Carolyn!
Carolyn: Hi, Victoria. Good to see you.
Victoria: You know, I could help you guys set up if you want.
Kimmy: I actually have a great idea for you!
Victoria: What is it? I’d love to help!
Kimmy: When it’s time to begin, you can go get mom and bring her down here. You’re creative, you’ll think of a reason to tell her for why you’re bringing her down here to the rec center.
Victoria: I’m already thinking of something!
Kimmy: Good, good, save that for mom.
Victoria: Will do!
Meanwhile, Aimee’s phone rings.
Aimee: What’s up?
Cherie: Aimee, where are you? You never told me when this hot air balloon ride is happening, I’m just waiting.
Aimee: Damn, I forgot. Later tonight. Around five.
Cherie: Oh, okay. I just want it to be a surprise for him.
Aimee: It’ll be a surprise, don’t worry.
Cherie: Am I going to see you later?
Aimee: Of course, we’ll have a nice dinner after your ride. I want to help you celebrate your anniversary, so I’ll make you a good meal.
Cherie: That’s so sweet of you.
Ernesto: Girls, I -
Aimee: Okay, mom, I gotta go.
Cherie: Did I just hear your -
Aimee: Nope, gotta go, bye!
Aimee hangs up.
Aimee: That was close! Dad, did you get the ring?
Ernesto: Isn’t it beautiful? It was so expensive, but she’s worth it.
Aimee: Grandma would disagree.
Ernesto: Well, she’s an ignoramus.
Aimee: She can be. Don’t tell her I said that.
Kimmy: I’ll be saving that for later in case I get myself into some trouble down the line.
Ernesto: Thank you girls for all putting in the work to set this up on such short notice. I feel so dumb for forgetting, but at least I have my helpers.
Kimmy: You’re welcome! We are pretty great.
Later that day…
Cherie: Victoria, I don’t know what kind of emergency at the rec center would require my attention, but today is a big day for me, I have to get home soon for my balloon ride. And I don’t even know where my husband is! I’m so stressed!
Victoria: You’ll understand when you see it.
Cherie: You dragged me out of my house for this, it better be good.
Victoria: You could stand to get out more!
Cherie: What does that mean?
Victoria: You’re a homebody, antisocial.
Cherie: I am not!
Victoria: The only time I ever see you, it’s at your house!
Cherie: First of all, that’s wrong .Second, I see you most often at my house, because I usually see you once a week at our family dinner that I graciously host. Do you care to insult me any further, or have I sufficiently defended myself?
Victoria: I’ll be quiet now.
Cherie: Take me home while you’re at it.
Victoria: No! Now be quiet!
Cherie: I think I’m being kidnapped.
Victoria: You’re about sixty years too old for that.
Cherie: So you’ve chosen to continue insulting me.
Victoria: Yes.
Twenty minutes later..
Victoria: So here we are! You happy now?
Cherie: No, this isn’t my house!
Victoria: Just go inside, your presence is needed in there.
Cherie walks inside.
Cherie: What is this?
Ernesto: Cherie, my darling, you are as beautiful as the day we got married, fifty years ago today.
Cherie: Oh my god! What is this?
Ernesto: On this special anniversary, all I can ask of you is that you do me the honor of marrying me all over again.
Cherie: Where are the kids?
Aimee: They’re not… it’s not important.
Gwen: They didn’t show, but I did. I’m singing a song for you, it’s something from one of my many Tony-winning roles, I think it’s a perfect encapsulation of love.
Carolyn: It was short notice, but it’s okay.
Cherie: Did you forget and put this together too late for our kids to fly in?
Ernesto: Never! They’re just very buys kids, so only our two basically-unemployed kids could make it.
Aimee: Hey! I’m a senator! That’s a job people used to respect!
Gwen: When?
Cherie: You know what? Even if this was last-minute, it’s so thoughtful. To renew our vows before our kids and friends and our kids’ friends… this is really marvelous.
Ernesto: I also wanted to get you a new ring to express my commitment and love for you. It’s gold, obviously, since it is the golden anniversary.
Gwen: That reminds me, I could sing Band of Gold for you, too. Freda Payne’s a friend of mine.
Carolyn: Isn’t that a song about a couple splitting up on their wedding night? Not terribly romantic.
Gwen: I never listen to the lyrics, it’s a fun song.
Aimee: Ladies, I think it’s time to be quiet.
Lynette: As if they know how to do that.
Cherie: I have a surprise for you, too. It’s not as thoughtful or romantic, but I know you’ve always wanted to go on a hot air balloon ride, it’s on your bucket list, and Aimee was able to help me set one up taking off right from the local park.
Ernesto: Oh wow!
Cherie: Yeah, I don’t want to rush this beautiful celebration you’ve all put together, but it’s at five, so we’re going to have to be out of here by then.
Ernesto: All right, let’s get this show moving! Aimee, you ready?
Aimee: Oh, I’m ready. I’ve been practicing for this all week!
What did you think of this episode of Evergreen Aimee? Let us know in the comments and make sure to read a new episode next week!
