STATION MARKET HH RATINGS (+/- LAST WEEK)
RSN Los Angeles: 6.8 (-0.1)
RSN Indianapolis: 5.8 (-0.3)
RSN Santa Fe: 0.7 (=)
RSN Bridgeport: 0.5 (+0.3)
RSN Anchorage: 0.2 (-0.1)
SETTING: Corporate office of RSN. BLAKE, the station liaison for RSN Bridgeport, is on the phone with MELANIE, the station’s assistant manager.
MELANIE
I have a serious concern over the direction of the station.
BLAKE
Ratings are up. We were at a 0.2, dipped down to a 0.1, we readjusted our programming strategy, and now we’re at a 0.5. What’s not to like?
MELANIE
Our viewers are confused. This was a cooking programming station, then it switched to sports, now it’s back to cooking?
BLAKE
Bridgeport wasn’t showing real sports though. This is just temporary while we wait for the women’s baseball league to get off the ground.
MELANIE
And then what? We cancel all our cooking shows and switch back to sports?
BLAKE
I mean…yeah, I guess. Don’t worry about that, we need short-term gains.
MELANIE
No, we need to think long-term. Ratings are gonna keep going up and then when you make us overhaul our programming yet again, it’s gonna be a disaster!
BLAKE
Just trust me, this is the way we have to go for now. We can’t risk 0.0s.
MELANIE takes a deep breath.
MELANIE
Let us show more sports programming or we want to go independent.
BLAKE is taken aback.
BLAKE
Excuse me?
MELANIE
You heard me. Less cooking or we want out.
BLAKE pauses.
BLAKE
What does Victor think? Respectfully, why am I on the phone with his assistant manager and not him?
MELANIE
Victor is new here, and knows nothing about TV ratings or having an office job or managing a station.
BLAKE
True. I’ll take your concerns into consideration.
BLAKE hangs up and lets out a groan. Hearing this, KYLIE walks up to his cubicle.
KYLIE
Something wrong?
BLAKE
Wait…you actually care?
KYLIE
I didn’t say I did. I just like to hear about things going wrong.
BLAKE INTERVIEW
Kylie is…unique. Her station’s ratings are way better than anyone else’s, and yet she still loves to hear about other people’s bad days. Not because she knows how to improve them. Just so she can remind everyone how much better off she is.
BLAKE
Somehow, ratings getting better is putting RSN Bridgeport’s future in jeopardy. They want to go independent!
KYLIE
Getting better? I wouldn’t get ahead of yourself. What are you at, 1.5? 2?
BLAKE
Uh…0.5?
KYLIE bursts out laughing.
BLAKE
Hey, they’re higher than before!
Mad at KYLIE, BLAKE stands up and walks away from his own desk.
KYLIE INTERVIEW
You think I don’t know where Bridgeport’s ratings are? I know where they are. [KYLIE chuckles, then realizes what she did.] I should probably stop being so mean to him.
CUT to NICOLE, who is in the break room. DEVIN is restocking the vending machine.
NICOLE
You know, this used to be our job before you got here.
DEVIN
Really?
NICOLE
Yep. And Benny would use that time to make decisions without us.
DEVIN
He makes decisions? Wow. I’m surprised Los Angeles is doing so well.
NICOLE
What do you mean?
DEVIN
You know, because he hates them?
NICOLE
Wait a minute…Benny hates LA?!?!
DEVIN
Yeah, he’s always talking about how annoying they are and how they’re so full of themselves.
NICOLE laughs.
NICOLE
He’s not wrong.
DEVIN
You knew that though, right?
NICOLE
Uh…yeah.
NICOLE INTERVIEW
I don’t know what it is about Devin that makes him casually reveal so much but…we gotta keep him around.
NICOLE walks back to her cubicle and smirks at KYLIE.
KYLIE INTERVIEW
Did you see that? I literally did nothing wrong. Maybe I’ll try to be nicer to some of my co-workers, but Nicole? Nicole’s a different story.