The Bullpen Season 6 Episode 3: Top of The Second Inning
Setting: Indianapolis Primitives’ bullpen, top of the 2nd inning, September 10, 2023
MANNY
Second inning. Guess nobody’s going in any time soon.
CARTER
You know, there once was a time where I would be pitching this time of the game.
FELIX
Yeah me too, did you guys know I used to be a starter?
MANNY
You remind them all the time. Now tell us all about the time you blew the Championship Game and got me sent to the bullpen.
CARTER
I’ve been all over the place, I was gonna be a reliever but I got really good real fast and they made me a starter just like that. True story.
FELIX
Yeah, well I had a perfect record one year.
CARTER
No way that’s true.
FELIX
Look it up, it is.
CARTER looks up FELIX’s stats on his phone.
CARTER
Oh wow…you’re right. Well, I’m sure I could’ve done the same eventually with more nurturing.
FELIX
Is that how you ended up here?
CARTER
Hey, you and I both come from the minors now.
ACE
I don’t! Been here all year.
FELIX
I swear the way management makes decisions here makes absolutely no sense at all.
ROBERT
Been here more than half a decade.
FELIX
But you haven’t pitched multiple perfect games every year in that half decade.
MANNY
Neither have you.
FELIX
Yes I have.
MANNY
No you haven’t. Carter, look up his stats again.
CARTER looks at his phone.
CARTER
Far as I can tell that’s a lie, Felix.
FELIX
What you call a lie, I call a gaffe. Point is I’m a better pitcher than you.
CARTER
You are?
FELIX
Everyone knows it.
FELIX looks at LORENZO.
FELIX
Lorenzo, give me a ball.
LORENZO throws a ball to FELIX.
FELIX
NO DON’T THROW IT!
LORENZO
You wanted a ball!
FELIX
YOU HIT ME IN THE GUTS!
DAVE
Nice catch there Felix.
FELIX
Not my fault Lorenzo can’t throw.
LORENZO
Or pitch!
FELIX
That’s what pitching is.
DEVIN
Alright I’ve had enough of this.
DEVIN gets off the bench.
VICTOR
What are you doing?
DEVIN
What should’ve been done a long time ago. I’m going out into the crowd to raise my entertainment value.
VICTOR
Huh?
DEVIN
It’s why I got demoted to the minors. If I can just convince them I’m entertaining enough, maybe I’ll get to stay here next year.
DEVIN hops over the bullpen and goes into the crowd. He tries to take selfies with a few fans before he is taken by security and escorted out of the stadium.
HARRY
That was the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen.
LORENZO
Right? Everyone knows you run onto the field to get attention!
DAVE
I bet Devin’s in real trouble.
LORENZO
Uh…yeah, sure. I’ll think of something.
The Bullpen Season 6 Episode 4: Bottom of The Second Inning
Setting: Indianapolis Primitives’ bullpen, bottom of the 2nd inning, September 10 2023
DAVE
Harry, make me some food.
HARRY
Please?
DAVE
Thank you.
HARRY rolls his eyes.
HARRY
What do you want.
DAVE
What do you have?
HARRY
Same as always, burgers, hot dogs, cotton candy because of Lorenzo…all the usual.
DAVE
I’ll have a sausage.
HARRY
I’ve never once made sausage here.
DAVE
I said I’ll have a sausage. And I need it soon so it can settle in my stomach before I pitch.
HARRY
One minute.
HARRY walks over to LORENZO.
HARRY
Would you believe this guy?! Out of all the things I make he wants—actually never mind, you’ll probably want one too, forget I said anything.
LORENZO
Okay.
HARRY walks over to ROBERT.
HARRY
Would you believe this guy?!
ROBERT
Yeah I heard what you said to Lorenzo, he’s being a diva. Just make him a hot dog, he won’t know.
HARRY
That’s what I was thinking. Good call.
HARRY makes DAVE a hot dog.
HARRY
One sausage for Dave!
HARRY hands DAVE the hot dog.
HARRY
$8 please.
DAVE
Excuse me?
HARRY
$8 please.
DAVE
I didn’t realize we charged for food here.
HARRY
New policy.
LORENZO
WHAT?! Not on my watch!
HARRY walks up to LORENZO.
HARRY
Don’t worry, you’ll be grandfathered into the old policy of not paying since you were here before this season.
LORENZO
Hear that everyone, only those who joined this season and everyone who joins going forward have to pay for food. It’s a new policy.
CARTER
Come on, that’s not fair. Doesn’t even make any sense!
HARRY
Food shortages, Lorenzoflation. No offense Lorenzo.
CARTER
That’s the first I’m hearing of any of this affecting our bullpen.
HARRY
Yeah well it’s starting today, now pay up Dave!
DAVE angrily hands HARRY $8.
DAVE (under his breathe)
Grifter.
HARRY smirks.
ROBERT (to BRYAN)
Is it me or does Harry hate Dave?
BRYAN
Oh he loathes him. I’m just surprised he didn’t try to charge him more.
DAVE
THIS IS A HOT DOG!
HARRY
Closest we have!
DAVE
Lorenzo’s Bullpen.
DAVE eats his hot dog in discontent.