Marietta walks into her office.
Tammy: Oh, boy.
Marietta: What’s going on?
Amy: Campaigning.
Marietta: I am done with campaigning. Four and out. Going out on top.
Amy: You’re not the one campaigning. People are campaigning to you.
Marietta: Don’t love that either, but I can deal with it. Who’s campaigning? Is there a special election or something?
Tammy: They’re picking John Jackson’s replacement as council president, the two candidates for the position both want to meet with you.
Marietta: I ask nervously… who is running?
Tammy: Moira and Marissa.
Marietta: Oh, that’s great! They’re both great allies to our administration. I’m shocked none of the centrists are running.
Tammy: Yeah, here’s the thing…
Marietta: Is there a twist?
Tammy: They both want your endorsement, and they’re fighting hard for it.
Marietta: Do they want to lose? That council hates me.
Henrietta: It’s a new day on the council. O’Sullivan and Barrack are gone, and Greenley likes you far more than Jackson did.
Marietta: Jackson liked me.
Henrietta: He was far from an ally.
Marietta: He marched in the Pride Parade with me.
Henrietta: A political ally, not an LGBT ally.
Marietta: I guess I never really thought of it like that. Do I have influence over the city council now? They like me?
Amy: They’re certainly open to you.
Tammy: Breyer, Tran, Greenley, Donnelly-Landfield… that’s a pro-you majority.
Amy: Which is why you have to play this carefully.
Marietta: Moira has the seniority and is my sister-in-law. Marissa is great, but I kinda have to go with her.
Amy: Eh… no.
Marietta: No?
Amy: Nepotism is not really something people love. You can’t endorse your sister-in-law just because she’s your sister-in-law.
Marietta: But that would make Thanksgiving much nicer.
Amy: Talk to them both, let them pitch themselves, pick the one you think will make the better council president.
Tammy: And, remember, you might be picking the next mayor!
Amy: Don’t say that!
Tammy: Why not?
Amy: I wanna be the next mayor!
Marietta: What if I stay out of it? I’ll be Switzerland.
Amy: Don’t think they’d love that.
Marietta: Why not?
Amy: Then they’d have to actually fight it out rather than you being the one to decide.
Marietta: Is that not fair, for them to have to sway their fellow council members?
Tammy: No one wants a big intra-council fight. They want you to settle this campaign before it starts.
Marietta: Okay, I’ll talk to them. I don’t know what to even ask them, though. Moira will be expecting it, and I don’t know how to separate my family ties to her from my political decisions. Marissa… she knows I like her, but can she really expect me to endorse her?
Henrietta: Go with your gut!
Tammy: If you’re lucky, one of the centrists will announce a last-minute run, the two lefties will split the vote, and we’ll get Florence Packard as president.
Marietta: Don’t joke like that.
Tammy: Luckily, we have other things on our plate today, as well, important things. We have to pick napkins for the inaugural ball!
Marietta: Thank god the city of New Orleans has tireless civil servants like us in charge what would they do without us on napkin duty?
Three hours later, Marietta gets a call from Milton.
Milton: Marietta, can I ask you a favor?
Marietta: No “hello?”
Milton: Hello, Marietta. Can I ask you a favor?
Marietta: To quote Pat Benatar, hit me with your best shot.
Milton: Moira is running to be president of the city council, she asked me to. Ask you for your endorsement.
Marietta: Oh, not this.
Milton: What? Were you not planning on endorsing her?
Marietta: We’ve spent all day debating this in this office. I have no idea what to do.
Milton: She’s your sister-in-law!
Marietta: Yeah, and I’ve been told that endorsing her solely for that reason won’t go over well. I don’t need a war with Marissa, I have to hear her out.
Milton: Moira’s been on the council for seventeen years, Marissa’s been on it for less than three. Seems like an easy choice to me!
Marietta: You people give me a headache.
Milton: Come on, Marietta. Think logically here.
Marietta: Since when is politics logical?
Milton: There’s nothing wrong with endorsing your sister-in-law if she is sincerely the more qualified choice.
Marietta: I really think Marissa would be a great council president, and she can bring a fresh voice to the council. Is it so wrong of me to not want to torpedo her chances of winning?
Milton: No, but you’re supposed to hel- ah, never mind!
Marietta: You were about to say I’m supposed to help family, weren’t you?
Milton: I don’t think we need to talk about that.
Marietta: I don’t get a vote in this, Milton, I really just want to stay out of it. They’re both dear friends of mine.
Milton: I understand that.
Marietta: Do you?
Milton: Just be fair, that’s all I want.
Marietta: Do you have anything else to talk about, or was the strong-arming all you needed from me today?
Ellie: Landfield! Get to the floor, it’s time to vote!
Milton: I guess that’s all.
Kate: Don’t listen to her, she’s just pulling your leg.
Ellie: Dammit, Kate! Stop ruining my fun!
Kate: You’re a senator, don’t be so juvenile.
Ellie: Hey, we don’t have a dress code anymore, that should mean I get to act however I want, too.
Kate: You give me a headache.
Marietta: That’s what I said about Milton!
Kate: Is that Marietta?
Marietta: Yes!
Kate: Hey, girl!
Ellie: We miss you!
Marietta: It’s been too long, I gotta get up to DC to see the both of you, I know how busy you are.
Ellie: We are not busy in the slightest, we can fly down to NOLA tonight if you want.
Kate: Okay, we may not have a vote on the floor right now, but we probably should get one on the floor sometime today. Maybe best not to plan any traveling.
Ellie: You’re no fun!
Marietta: I’ll let you guys go. Clearly you’re very busy.
Ellie: We’re not!
Milton: I’ll talk to you later. Just think about it, okay?
Marietta: Sure. Bye!
Three hours later…
Patty Lynn: So, honey, how was your day?
Marietta: Exhausting. Brutal. Taxing.
Martin: But other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?
Marietta: Not at all!
Patty Lynn: What actually happened? I thought this was supposed to be a relaxing time for you, with the election over and the inauguration not for another few months.
Marietta: I didn’t anticipate a war brewing between my two closest allies on the city council.
Patty Lynn: A war? How do you figure?
Marietta: They’re choosing John’s replacement as council president right now, and both Marissa and Moira are running. They’re both campaigning hard. Milton called my office, Marissa sent us flowers, they both set up meetings with me for tomorrow. I’m already emotionally drained from all the debating over this in the office.
Patty Lynn: There’s no debate. You can either endorse Marissa or no one.
Martin: Really?
Kathleen: And here I was, thinking she was about to cut Marietta out of the family if she didn’t endorse her favorite child Moira immediately.
Patty Lynn: Look, I want Moira to get the job and be happy, but not at the expense of the media scrutiny I know you’d get if you waded into those waters. They would all be burning you alive for using your political muscle to get a promotion for your sister-in-law.
Martin: I disagree. I think if you endorse Marissa, the media will swipe at you for not being loyal and say that there’s some feud between you and Moira that doesn’t exist.
Marietta: Hey, there are still like two weeks until they pick a council president, a feud can certainly develop in that time.
Sarah: I’ve seen her develop feuds with waiters in, like, two minutes.
Marietta: Exactly! I’m sort of a bitch.
Martin: You’re stuck between a rock and a hard place, honey.
Kathleen: You should stay out of it. They’re both good with you, either one will work with you better than John Jackson did, so let them fight it out amongst each other using their own merits. You don’t have anything to gain by choosing a winner.
Sarah: Dad’ll still be mad at her then, though.
Kathleen: He’ll get over it.
Marietta: I’m so glad that all three of you have given me entirely different advice, this has helped tremendously.
Kathleen: Well, let’s be honest, you’re going to do what you want anyway, you rarely take anyone else’s advice.
Patty Lynn: That’s not fair.
Marietta: Oh, it is. She’s one hundred percent correct.
Sarah: She’ll be calling Kate and Ellie tonight for more advice she won’t take before ultimately deciding to do what she was always intending to do, which is pretend to be out of the country until the council picks a new president.
Marietta: I already talked to them, they were no help. I think they may have had a vote to get to but I’m not really sure.
Sarah: You’re not denying the other part of your plan, though!
Marietta: Well, that’s all too ridiculous to warrant a response. I’m not a coward.
Martin: Exactly! You’ll be upfront and honest with both candidates, regardless of what you decide to do in the end. That’s how we raised you.
Marietta: I was planning on having Tammy tell them, but… yeah, you’re right. I was raised to be upfront with people, that’s how I have to approach this.
Sarah: Why do they even want to be president of the council, anyway? People are always blaming them when things go wrong, I’d never want that responsibility.
Marietta: You seem to be confusing the roles of mayor and council president. No one in this city even knows we have a city council, I get the blame for everything.
Sarah: Oh, then in that case… why did you want to be mayor?
Marietta: I’m an idiot.
Patty Lynn: You are not! You’re too hard on yourself. You’ve gotten a lot done for the city in this job.
Marietta: They don’t seem to agree, I only won re-election because I ran against a guy with an addiction to hookers.
Patty Lynn: We don’t know that for sure.
Marietta: We do.
Kathleen: We really do.
Patty Lynn: I’m ignoring the doom and gloom from you and pivoting here… are you coming to family dinner this weekend?
Marietta: It might be awkward!
Patty Lynn: Why would it be awkward?
Marietta: Moira.
Martin: She’ll be fine!
Patty Lynn: She’ll take the denial of the endorsement very well, trust me.
Marietta: I haven’t even decided what I’m doing yet, please don’t tell her I’m not endorsing her before I’d get the chance to. I know how much you like to yap!
Patty Lynn: I won’t even answer her calls to avoid letting anything slip, how about that?
Kathleen: Sounds good for Moira.
Patty Lynn: You can be so rude.
Kathleen: I’m aware.
The next day…
Tammy: Busy day!
Marietta: I have two meetings, is that what we’re considering a busy day now?
Amy: Compared to usual? Yeah.
Marietta: We do a lot of hard work around here, it’s a gross misconception to believe anything otherwise.
Henrietta: I agree! We work hard all day. Constituent work is important, even if it’s not showy. We make a difference in peoples’ lives.
Amy: Do you really believe that?
Henrietta: It’s what I tell myself to get through the day. All this bulls-
Marietta: Hey! Stop being Debbie Downers!
Amy: You try your hardest, that’s what matters. It’s not your fault that all the mayor really gets to do is yell at the police and the trash people if they do their jobs badly. It’s a position with a limited scope.
Tammy: Once a year we get to make a budget!
Amy: Which is promptly shot down by the city council.
Henrietta: And sometimes, we get investigated by the city attorney!
Tammy: What is this “we” you speak of? That was me and Marietta! You two were sitting pretty!
Amy: Yeah, we were both ready to serve as acting mayor and chief of staff!
Tammy: You look like you’re joking, but I have a feeling you are not!
Amy: Perhaps I was, perhaps I wasn’t. All I know is, I’m qualified to step up if the need arises.
Marietta: Speaking of things arising… when should Moira be rising up onto this floor for our meeting?
Tammy: Ten. Marissa’s at eleven, get Moira out with plenty of time to spare.
Marietta: You make it sound like I’m a cheating spouse.
Tammy: It’s even worse, you’re an in-law!
One hour later…
Henrietta: Marietta, Moira is here for your meeting.
Marietta: Oh, good! Been so excited for this!
Moira walks into Marietta’s office.
Moira: Thank you for agreeing to meet.
Marietta: We’re family, couldn’t say no!
Moira: I actually think we should forget that we’re family for the time being.
Marietta: Oh, I wish I could!
Moira: Milton told me about your conversation yesterday.
Marietta: Snake!
Moira: I appreciated the heads-up, honestly.
Marietta: Look, Moira, I think you’re great, and such a qualified candidate to be council president. However…
Moira: You don’t want to look corrupt. I don’t want you to, either.
Marietta: I’m not sure how to navigate here, if I’m being honest.
Moira: I know, it’s hard to figure out what to do. All I’ll say is that I believe I have the experience, the knowledge and the temperament to lead the city council. Marissa does, too, but she doesn’t have the deep-seeded connections I have, she doesn’t have the seniority I have, she doesn’t know the political arena as well as I do.
Marietta: I understand all that.
Moira: Then you have to understand that endorsing me won’t just look like blatant nepotism. It’s you acknowledging that I’m the more qualified candidate. Let’s be honest, who’s more ready to lead the council: someone with almost twenty years on the council or someone who hasn’t even served a full term yet?
Marietta: I know, but people look for every reason to criticize me.
Moira: Do people really care so much about who you endorse here? I just need your help swaying the council, Greenley and Larkman will vote however you want.
Marietta: Can I be honest here?
Moira: Of course.
Marietta: I’m rooting for you. I have a lot of love for you, you’re the sister I always wish I had. However, I really think you’re going to win anyway. I don’t want to make this any messier than it has to be. It already sucks to have to hold these meetings knowing I don’t want to get involved.
Moira: I get why you’re saying that, but I do wish you’d reconsider. This is a chance to flex your political muscle, show why you’re a legend in this city.
Marietta: I don’t think we’re going to see eye-to-eye here.
Moira: I’m not going to get upset about it, I respect your decision. I do want to ask, though… if anyone from the council calls you up and asks your thoughts on me, put in a good word.
Marietta: I’ll do that for sure. I wish you so much luck in this campaign. I know it’s all going to work out fine.
Moira: I’m going to get going then, I have some other meetings to get to to try and lock down support.
Marietta: Good luck! I’m wishing the best for you!
Moira: Thanks, I’ll need it. Marissa is very persuasive.
Moira opens the door and steps out.
Henrietta: That was a short meeting!
Marietta: It was awkward as can be.
Tammy: Yeah, but not he plus side, Marissa’s here for her meeting and you can start early!
Marissa: Moira, why are you upset with me?
Moira: I told you how much I wanted this position, and you encouraged me to run for it.
Marietta: Uh-oh.
Moira: Then, you decided to jump in yourself. It’s like you’re trying to rip away the dream that you convinced me to have in the first place!
Marissa: I was convinced to run by some people who made a great point. Sometimes, drastic change is needed. We need fresh leadership. That’s why I ran.
Moira: I’m with you on ninety-nine percent of things, I don’t see how you’re fresh and I’m, apparently, stale.
Marissa: You’ve been in office longer than almost anyone on the council.
Moira: That’s bad now?
Marissa: I just think the perspective of a relative newcomer could be very useful as head of the council. You’ve been in office so long, you’ve got politician brain. I was working a regular job just a few years ago. I know what the struggle is like because I lived it. I think I have a right to try to run and make a difference from this position of power I’ve been gifted.
Marietta: Do you two want to talk in private? I feel like there’s a lot bubbling up here that you may not want to happen in front of all pot us.
Marissa: No, it needs to be said and it needs to be heard by more than just her.
Moira: I don’t know why you’re being so hostile!
Marissa: You’re mad at me for daring to run against you.
Moira: You’re my friend! I felt backstabbed!
Marissa: I have just as much of a right to run as you do.
Tammy: It feels inappropriate to be watching this right now.
Amy: Yes, but it’s so entertaining.
Marietta: Both of you -
Tammy: Who are you referring to with “both of you?”
Marietta: The two fighting, I couldn’t give less of a damn about you and Amy right now.
Amy: The feeling’s mutual, you’re not adding any drama in this fight!
Marietta: Both of you, I need you to realize how unimportant this is.
Moira: It doesn’t matter to you because you’re already the most important person in city government.
Marietta: We are so much stronger when we unite! Whichever one of you gets to be council president, you’re going to be great. Whoever doesn’t… you’re still going to get a lot of great work done on the council. I know you both want the job, I get why you do, but don’t throw out a good friendship, and a good working relationship, because you’re hungry for power. I’ve seen far too many people torn about over petty nonsense like that.
Marissa: I’m not upset because she wants the job, too. I’m upset because she seems to think she’s the only one who deserves it. Like it should be handed to her.
Moira: I just would have enjoyed a heads up that you wanted to run, too. That’s all.
Marissa: I never said I wouldn’t run, I just said you should. I think it would be a good thing for the council if one of us got the job. Now, no one else is running, so that’s a guarantee. I’m good with either of us winning, I wish you would be, too!
Moira: I would be happy with either of us winning.
Marissa: That’s news to me!
Moira: I’m sorry that I made you feel I was mad at you for running. You have a right to do whatever you want. I was just upset that you turned around and decided to run after I made my pitch to you about me becoming council president. It felt personal.
Marissa: It wasn’t. DeeDee talked to me about how me running could shake up the council and give it a new perspective, she said she got tired of the same old leadership and knew I’d have a different approach. That resonated with me. I should’ve give you an advanced notice that I was going to run, but the whole campaign moved along so fast that I didn’t have any time to think.
Moira: It’s fine. We all get swept up in the moment sometimes.
Marietta: I think we’ve reached an understanding!
Amy: That was a very underwhelming fight.
Henrietta: Were you expecting it to look like a Housewives reunion?
Amy: It would’ve been nice. I need a bit of excitement in my day.
Marissa: So, Marietta, who are you endorsing?
Marietta: Don’t even.
Two weeks later…
Tammy: The results are in!
Marietta: Don’t spoil it, I didn’t get to see last night’s episode!
Tammy: Of what?
Marietta: Dancing with the Stars. Is that not what you’re referring to?
Tammy: That’s still on?
Marietta: Yeah! They asked me to do it a few years ago.
Amy: Talk about scraping the bottom of the barrel…
Marietta: I heard that!
Amy: I know.
Tammy: The New Orleans City Council has a new president.
Marietta: Oh, right! I forgot that was today!
Henrietta: You weren’t kidding when you said you wanted no part in the process! Even I knew it was today, and no one tells me anything!
Marietta: So, who won? Did Reggie somehow stage a comeback and get the win?
Tammy: It’s Marissa.
Marietta: Good for her! Not good for me, I have to deal with Milton, but good for her!
Tammy: Moira dropped out.
Marietta: What?
Tammy: She agreed to be vice president of the council.
Marietta: We’re making up roles now?
Tammy: If it gets them to achieve detente, I’ve got no issue with it.
Marietta: Moira’s been there forever, I can’t believe she just gave in to Marissa.
Tammy: Moira began to have concerns about being able to serve effectively, considering her husband lives in DC most of the time. You may have heard of him?
Marietta: She dropped out for Milton?
Henrietta: That’s so romantic!
Marietta: It’s idiotic!
Tammy: I would agree with that, but I appreciate that she stepped aside if she doesn’t think she has the time. Marissa’s gonna be great.
Marietta: Oh, she is. I’m happy for her. I’m even happier that I didn’t have to get myself involved.
Amy: Passive leadership is great, isn’t it?
Henrietta: You think you’ll be able to beat Marissa in the 2027 primary, Amy?
Amy: I’ll find some way to bury her by then, don’t you worry.
Marietta: I’m not even sworn in yet, my press secretary’s already redecorating the office in her head.
Amy: You knew who I was when you hired me!
Marietta: You hired yourself!
Amy: I always forget I did that. I’m such a girlboss.
Marietta: Yes, that’s what you are.
What did you think of the season premiere of Marietta? Let us know in the comments and make sure to read the new episode next week!
