The Bullpen Season 6 Episode 7: Top of the Fourth Inning
Setting: Indianapolis Primitives’ dugout, top of the 4th inning, September 24, 2023
LORENZO waves to JASON.
LORENZO
Hey Jason!
JASON
Uh oh. Is the bullpen phone broken? Please tell me your phone is broken because I have a game to coach right now.
LORENZO
Not broken, but I thought I’d visit.
JASON
Lorenzo I don’t have time to hang out with old friends right now, I need to coach this game.
LORENZO
I understand. I’m visiting as a coach.
JASON starts laughing.
JASON
Lorenzo, all you have to do is sit in the bullpen and not fall asleep. Nothing else. Easy enough, right?
LORENZO
Uh…yeah, sure. Anyways I got a guy in the bullpen who really wants to pitch.
JASON
I can’t just let anyone into the game, we’re trying to make the playoffs here.
LORENZO
I don’t think you understand the stakes here.
JASON
The playoffs.
LORENZO
My job.
JASON
Your job as a bullpen coach? Come on.
LORENZO
He tried to vote me out of being bullpen coach last week, I need this win.
JASON
Look, only the front office decides who can be coach.
LORENZO
I don’t know, I think he’d make himself de facto coach. My guys don’t want that! Well, most of them.
JASON rolls his eyes.
JASON
There’s too much at stake for someone to pitch today. Now go back to the bullpen.
The Indianapolis Primitives starting pitcher walks over to JASON.
STARTING PITCHER
Hey Coach I think I hurt my arm.
JASON
Can you pitch next inning?
STARTING PITCHER
I mean…I’d rather not.
JASON looks to LORENZO.
JASON
Alright, my guy’s injured. Who are you trying to get in the game?
LORENZO
Dave.
JASON
Oh he’s like actually a pitcher, why didn’t you say so? Have him warm up, he’s coming in when our team’s done batting.
LORENZO runs back to the bullpen.
LORENZO
GUYS, GUESS WHAT!!
ACE
Genuinely thought you left for the day.
DEVIN
Did you forget something here?
LORENZO
Actually there’s no time for guessing, Dave, warm up, you’re going in the game next inning!
DAVE
A little early, but unsurprising.
LORENZO
I lobbied for you to get in the game. What’d you think I was doing in the dugout?
DAVE
I’m willing to bet me going in the game has nothing to do with you. Nice try.
LORENZO
I promise, it does!
DAVE
Sure it does. Now if you don’t mind, you’re standing right where I need to warm up.
LORENZO walks over to the bullpen bench as DAVE stands up to start warming up.
The Bullpen Season 6 Episode 8: Bottom of the Fourth Inning
Setting: Indianapolis Primitives’ dugout, top of the 4th inning, September 24, 2023
LORENZO
Dave’s in the game, this is exciting! Everyone root him on!
HARRY
No. I don’t like him.
LORENZO
Ah come on, you gotta root for the Primates!
ACE
PRIMITIVES!
LORENZO
It’s not often someone goes in to pitch in the 4th inning, this is special!
DEVIN
It’s not often I pitch at all.
BRYAN
Same. I don’t even get why I wear a uniform at this point.
ROBERT
Right? They’re all uncomfortable, especially on hot summer days.
VICTOR
You call this a hot summer day?
ROBERT
No, but on hot summer days it can get uncomfortable wearing heavy pants.
FELIX
What would you rather do, show up in a gift store t-shirt? Come on guys.
DEVIN
Actually that doesn’t sound half-bad to me.
BRYAN
Yeah I wouldn’t mind wearing a t-shirt to the games, not like anyone cares.
MANNY
Since Lorenzo’s not talking I’m gonna just step in and say you can’t wait t-shirts.
ROBERT
WHAT?! Why not1
MANNY
Have you seen the prices on those things? They’re expensive! We get these uniforms for free.
FELIX
Well I don’t care what any of you wear, I’m gonna show up every game in my Indianapolis Primitives baseball uniform. I’ll have it no other way.
ACE
Nobody said you had to join in.
VICTOR
Okay so we’re settled on t-shirts, what about these pants?
CARTER
You need to wear them to step onto the field.
VICTOR
But I don’t do that.
CARTER
Yeah why do you get dressed up in a uniform, it’s futile if you ask me.
LORENZO takes out his phone.
CARTER
Our coach is looking up what futile means.
LORENZO
No I’m not!
CARTER walks over to LORENZO and looks over his shoulder.
CARTER
Yeah you are.
LORENZO
Just making sure I could follow the conversation, is that a crime?
ROBERT
What do you think Lorenzo, isn’t it stupid that we have to show up in a baseball uniform when we don’t even pitch?
ACE
Wait, is it even required or is it just expected that we would?
LORENZO
Let me check the rules book.
LORENZO flips through his baseball rules handbook.
FELIX
Lorenzo, since when did you have one of those?
LORENZO
Oh I got it at the gift shop. It was a steal!
FELIX
Really? How much was it?
LORENZO
I don’t know like 30 bucks or something, as I said I stole it.
LORENZO keeps looking through the book.
LORENZO
Yeah I don’t see anything in here about players being required to wear baseball uniforms.
CARTER
You sure that thing’s official?
LORENZO
Pretty sure. Why else would it be sold at the gift shop?
DEVIN
So if there’s no rule…does that mean we can stop showing up in baseball uniforms?
LORENZO thinks for a few seconds.
LORENZO
I’ve made my decision.
LORENZO pauses.
VICTOR
Just say it.
LORENZO
Starting next week, the official bullpen dress code will be baseball casual.
CARTER and FELIX roll their eyes as everyone else in the bullpen cheers. DAVE returns to the bullpen at the same time and looks at CARTER and FELIX.
DAVE
Why’d you guys roll your eyes at me?
FELIX
What? Oh—
DAVE
I saw you roll your eyes at me! What are you jealous that I pitched and you didn’t?
CARTER
No we were—
DAVE
Save it. Be more like the other guys, they were all cheering for me. And not to brag but rightfully so. What an inning.