Marietta Season 2, Episode 22
Well Isn't That Special?
Marietta is awakened at seven-thirty by multiple phone calls. After the fourth call, she answers.
Marietta: What’s going on? Is there something wrong that you’re calling so early?
Milton: Where are you?
Marietta: In bed, as I always am at this time.
Tammy: Get down here, Marietta!
Marietta: Tammy? Why are you with Milton?
Milton: Because we agreed to go canvassing today to campaign for the special election. Everyone met up at mom and dad’s and you’re nowhere to be found. Hank is getting annoyed, he has a tight schedule for us.
Marietta: Who the f*** is Hank?
Milton: My campaign manager!
Marietta: How am I supposed to know that? You never talk about him.
Milton: Yes I do! You just don’t listen.
Marietta: That does sound like me.
Tammy: I’ll come over there and let them canvass without me. We’ll walk around the French Quarter and do it.
Amy: Don’t let her off so easily! Make her come over here.
Marietta: I can fire you again.
Amy: Don’t even joke about it.
Milton: Can you guys cut it out? I don’t really care if you come here first or not. I just thought it would’ve been nice to have breakfast together before a long day. Now I don’t really care. We just have to get to work. Charlie Boudreaux is beating me in the polls and I’m not about to lose this seat for us again. So, let’s go get the word out in New Orleans. My volunteers across the state are doing it, we have to as well.
Marietta: Alright, alright. I’ll quick throw something on and join you guys. Save me a pancake or whatever you’ve got.
Milton: Mom made an egg scramble for everyone.
Marietta: Fine. Save some of that for me.
Ten hours later…
Marietta: I never want to see an egg again.
Tammy: All they had to say is that they’re Republicans. They didn’t have to throw food at us.
Marietta: I think I might know why they did that.
Tammy: Why? They’re rude as hell? I already know that.
Marietta: Look at the mailbox. The Williamsons. That’s the family of the old police chief that the city council fired and pinned on me.
Tammy: Oh. I guess they won’t be voting for Milton.
Milton: Who isn’t vot- oh my god, what happened to you two?
Tammy: We were pelted with eggs.
Milton: Why? Marietta, what did you do?
Marietta: Me? I didn’t do anything?
Tammy: This time she really didn’t.
Milton: Then what happened?
Tammy: Someone that doesn’t like Marietta decided to act like a child.
Milton: I’m glad none of the rest of u got that. Most people were very respectful. I’m confident I can pull off a win.
Amy: Don’t get too confident, it’s New Orleans. You’re probably getting ninety percent of the vote here no matter what.
Patty Lynn: No need to get cynical. Landfields have a way of coming from behind and winning.
Marietta: Except, you know…
Patty Lynn: You still adapted and moved on to another position.
Marietta: I still liked my job. I didn’t want a new one.
Milton: Clearly Marietta has some unresolved issues. That’s okay. Let’s deal with them at home during dinner.
At dinner…
Marietta: Mom, thank you for letting me use the shower to clean up. The eggs were starting to stick to me.
Tammy: Yeah, thanks. Sorry I used all your watermelon shampoo.
Kathleen: That’s mine! There was half a bottle left.
Tammy: I’m sorry, I dropped it when I was in there.
Kathleen: That’s okay. I have other bottles of it.
Marietta: You’re more forgiving than I would be.
Tammy: Quiet, you.
Milton: Can I share some big news? There’s going to be a rally here in two days, on the eve of the election. I’m flying in the big guns.
Marietta: What a terribly original idea. Who do you have lined up?
Milton: Kate and Ellie.
Tammy: Okay, they’re actually big guns. They’re basically the face of the Democratic Party since the President is incompetent.
Marietta: Sheryl is n… yeah, she is.
Milton: I’ve also got Governor Gretchen Raymond flying in from the great city-state Rhode Island!
Tammy: That state is a lie, they are not an island in any way.
Marietta: Milton, I know things look bleak but are you really so desperate for speakers that you’re asking the most hated governor in the county to speak on your behalf?
Milton: I must be desperate, because I’m asking you to speak as well!
Amy: Burn!
Marietta: You are being very unhelpful today.
Milton: Governor Gina Whilder of Michigan is flying down as well. And of course, Eileen is driving in. Hank called some other Democratic governors but they didn’t respond. I’m not sure how much I want to tie myself to the national party besides Kate and Ellie, so I didn’t ask any senators. I do have Representatives Jordiin and Pappadone coming. They’re from Louisiana so it could help. Everyone coming for the rally will also help canvass. It’s gonna be great!
Marietta: Take it from me. The thing Louisianans want to see in a candidate is not out-of-state “liberal elites” flying in to help you get it done
Tammy: Isn’t that how you won the first time? By flying me and Mitch in?
Marietta: Yeah, that was a different time.
Milton: Respectfully, you lost when you tried the strategy of doing it for yourself.
Marietta: How rude of you.
Martin: Kids, calm down. There’s no use fighting over this. There’s no perfect way to run for office. Especially not as a Democrat in Louisiana.
Marietta: There is one way. Be you.
Martin: What’s that supposed to mean?
Milton: They put a poll out that asked responders who they’d vote for if the choices were you and Charlie Boudreaux. You beat him by twelve points.
Patty Lynn: Of course he did, everyone remembers him fondly from years gone by. That doesn’t mean he’s any better than you.
Marietta: They polled on me too.
Patty Lynn: Oh, they did?
Marietta: Yeah. They did.
Kathleen: From your tone, I’m guessing it wasn’t good.
Marietta: Down ten.
Tammy: That’s up a few points from what you lost by. That’s something!
Marietta: Thanks, Tammy.
Kathleen: I lost re-election by twenty-eight points when I ran in the eighties. That should make you feel a little better.
Marietta: It doesn’t.
Patty Lynn: It’s been a long day, everyone. I think it’s time to unwind, relax, and take politics out of the discussion.
Martin: That would be a switch. Everyone at this table is a current or former elected official. This is our thing.
Patty Lynn: It’s also our work, and we don’t need to bring work home with us. Not if it causes problems.
Two days later, Marietta and Tammy drive to the airport to pick up Kate, Ellie, Gretchen and Gina.
Kate: Girls! I didn’t know you were picking us up!
Tammy: Milton’s very busy preparing for his “closing argument” as he likes to call it. Marietta and I volunteered to help out.
Kate: That’s very nice of you. Ellie and Gretchen should be here any moment.
Ellie: Kate! It feels like satan’s armpit in here. Maybe I don’t hate North Carolina after all! Massachusetts is the best, though. Even on our hottest days, I can still feel comfortable and happy laying on my porch. How I miss it.
Kate: Ellie, you were there three days ago.
Ellie: And I already miss it.
Gretchen: I, for one, enjoy being in a place where I can freely walk around and not feel like I’m about to be yelled at.
Passerby: You’re an idiot!
Gretchen: See, here I can hear that and I don’t know whether or not it’s for me.
Passerby: It was for you!
Gretchen: Well...
Marietta: Remind me again why Milton thought it was a good idea to invite you here?
Gretchen: I was one of the only governors that responded! I think I was asked last. Gina says she was asked last month and I was asked about five days ago.
Tammy: Gretchen, I don’t hate you. None of us do.
Gretchen: It okay, I know I’m none of your favorites. You four were a tight group in the Senate and Gina and I were only sometimes included.
Marietta: I like you! You’re living proof that Rhode Island will never vote Republican again. If they could elect you three times, they’re voting Democrat forever.
Kate: It feels like old times again! I love this!
Marietta: What, is Milton not as fun as me?
Kate: I love your brother, you know that. Us six girls were close and Gina was replaced by a Republican, Gretchen’s replacement frightens me, Tammy’s replacement hates me and Milton is a man so he doesn’t fit in our women’s group. It’s just different.
Marietta: I knew you missed us!
Kate: Of course we do!
Ellie: Senate game night has never been the same!
Kate: There’s other differences as well but clearly games are the most important.
Tammy: I’m sure game night is different. After all, who else would do a keg stand?
Marietta: That was one time and it was at a party in New Orleans.
Ellie: I don’t think that makes it better.
Gina: I’m finally here, ladies!
Marietta: Oh, thank god. They were being so cruel to me.
Gina: What were they saying?
Tammy: I made a joke about the time she did a keg stand.
Marietta: You quite over that so don’t tell me it’s just a joke!
Kate: No fighting! We’re here to do a good thing! We have to hold onto the Senate.
Tammy: And I also made a cake for all of us!
Marietta: We should probably get them to your place, Tammy. They’re staying there, right?
Kate: Yes. Thank you so much Tammy for giving us a place to stay these next two days. It’s very sweet.
Marietta: I’s really my place so I guess I’m included in that thank you as well?
Kate: Yes Marietta. Of course you are.
That night, behind the stage at the rally…
Milton: Thank you all so much for showing up today for this, and for campaigning for me today and tomorrow.
Tammy: It’s no problem! Would it really be a Landfield rally without me?
Milton: Of course not!
Kate: I saw the poll today, Milton. That’s huge! You have momentum on your side.
Patty Lynn: He’s up eight points from the last poll. From down four to up four! My baby’s gonna stay a senator!
Marietta: Remember, I was also above 50% in the polls before the 2018 Senate runoff and we see how that ended up.
Patty Lynn: Let’s stay positive. There’s no way to know what’ll happen before tomorrow.
Gina: Where did Gretchen go?
Milton: She’s out there speaking right now.
Gina: You let her lead off the rally? Oh no, you’re gonna lose.
Patty Lynn: Don’t say that! Gretchen is a great friend of this family and a lovely woman.
Gina: She is my best friend but that doesn’t mean putting her out there first was a good move.
Milton: I trust she’ll done well enough. The crowd can’t possibly hate her as much as Rhode Island does.
Ellie: That’s the nastiest thing I’ve ever heard you say!
Marietta: You aren’t around him enough.
Ellie: I love this side of him.
Milton: Maybe I’ll show you it more often when I’m a duly elected senator!
Ellie: Good. I think of myself as a nice person but I love some good sass. Kate never gives that to me but your sister sure does.
Martin: Milton, I just got a call from the governor. She said her car broke down so she might not make it!
Milton: This is just great. I’ll have the governor of Rhode Island whose approval ratings somehow drop a point with each passing day, but not the governor of Louisiana that people actually like.
Martin: I’m just messing with you!
Eileen: I’m her Milty! I wouldn’t miss this for the world. You’re our last chance at having a Democratic senator from Louisiana.
Milton: Governor Birkman! So nice to see you!
Ellie: Oh, so we’re chop liver now?
Marietta: Pretty much. Gretchen makes sense since she got drunk at my son’s wedding and had to be escorted away, but you’d think my little brother would have more respect for the rest of us.
The next night, as polls close in Louisiana…
Patty Lynn: Oh, I can barely contain my excitement! It’s nine o’clock!
Martin: We won’t get any results for at least ten more minutes.
Kathleen: I still remember when I lost. It was telegraphed to me by 8:35, only five minutes after the polls closed.
Milton: Really?
Kathleen: Of course not! I didn’t leave in office in the 1880s!
Fifteen minutes later…
Dan Freberg: Welcome back to The Spin Zone. We’re finally getting results in from that crucial US Senate race in Louisiana that will determine control of the US Senate.
Martin: I’m glad we decided to watch the results at home this time. It’s much more relaxing than having to watch it at Marietta’s supporter watch party.
Patty Lynn: Martin, be quiet! The results are coming in!
Dan: The night is young, but Democratic incumbent Milton Landfield is leading 53 to 47 with 22 percent reporting, a lead that seems unlikely to change considering where that vote is coming from, but is not certain to hold.
Milton: Okay, this is happening. I’m in the lead. I might win.
Milton gets a call.
Milton: Ah! I think I know who it is!
Martin: Is it Charlie Boudreaux calling to concede?
Milton: I think so!
Marietta: Congratulations, Milton. You deserve it.
Marietta runs off to the back porch.
Tammy: I’ll talk to her.
Ellie: I’ll go too. I just want fresh air.
On the porch…
Tammy: What’s wrong?
Ellie: What she said. Aren’t you happy Milton won?
Marietta: I am. I’m just sad. Even now, I’m still getting over my own loss and now he has my old job. Just like any other time I get a new job. Except this time, I took a demotion and he got my old, much better job. It’s hard.
Tammy: Think of it this way. if it can’t be you, why not make it him? He’s the next best thing!
Marietta: I know, I know.
Ellie: Plus, we’d lose the Senate without him.
Marietta: Yeah, that’s a fair point. I just feel terrible for being jealous of my own brother!
Tammy: No, don’t. It’s not about him, it’s about your own feelings and your feelings are valid.
Marietta: I know, I know.
Milton: Marietta what going on?
Marietta: Milton! Congratulations.
Milton: I didn't win.
Marietta: What? You didn’t?
Milton: I did, I was just messing with you. Why did you look so happy about it though?
Marietta: I wasn’t happy about it!
Milton: I know you weren’t! I was messing with you again.
Marietta: I am feeling very weird about all of this, though. I’m jealous that you’re in the Senate. Seeing those poll numbers showing you only two points behind and me ten points behind made me realize it. I’m sorry.
Milton: It’s okay. You’ve been going through a lot.
Marietta: I appreciate that. Now, you have to get out there and deliver your victory speech.
Milton: I want you to come with.
Marietta: Really? Even after I just told you I was jealous of you? That’s sweet.
Milton: Landfields always stick together. Now come on, let’s go. The media’s gonna get bored of this in about ten minutes now that the race is called.