Everyone is sitting in the indoor bullpen. The one working TV is on, broadcasting the Primitives game. Despite being the underdogs, they have managed to make the Championship series.
LORENZO
PEP TALK TIME!
FELIX
Uh oh.
LORENZO
Now, I know we’ve been gone for a while.
DAVE
A while? We missed practically the entire playoffs!
MANNY
Hey, as the former manager, I’m actually kinda mad I didn’t think of this.
ROBERT
Hey!
MANNY
What? It’s a good plan! Focus on the starters and get the bullpen the hell out of the way.
VICTOR
We deserve more credit than that.
ACE
Do we? I mean come on guys, we suck.
CARTER
I don’t. And neither do Felix or Dave.
MANNY
Yeah you three didn’t deserve this, but everyone else? Everyone else should’ve seen this coming.
BRYAN
I’m just confused why they would bring us back for the most important game of our lifetimes.
HARRY
Oh, another one of those? This happens every year.
BRYAN
This time is different! The crowd size isn’t what it used to be now that we have the Indiana Colds playing nearby—
HARRY
You’re really scared of women?
BRYAN
You just don’t get it.
LORENZO
If I can resume my pep talk, Bryan’s right: this is the most important game of our lifetimes. So go out there, have fun, and may the team with the most runs win!
CARTER
If we win the 5th inning, we win the game. It’s as simple as that. No team has ever lost a Championship Series when they win the 5th inning.
LORENZO
Sounds like a bunch of nonsense to me.
CARTER
Don’t you ever once listen to the announcers?
LORENZO
Not really. Just remember: Do your best. I have a meeting with the head of RSN tonight. The regional station, for those of us who don’t watch the games and just learned that today.
DAVE
We know what RSN is. Or at least, I do.
Suddenly, a starting pitcher walks into the indoor bullpen.
STARTING PITCHER
Whoa…what are you guys doing here?
LORENZO
I got a meeting with RSN tonight so I figured I’d round up our guys for one last game.
STARTING PITCHER
Yeah that’s not gonna work out the way you think it will. Just, get out of my way. It’s almost the fifth inning and you know what they say about the fifth inning.
CARTER
Whoever wins it, wins the game.
STARTING PITCHER
Now this guy gets it.
FELIX
How’s the crowd looking, by the way?
STARTING PITCHER
Eh, not great. I’d say a good half the fans are from the other team, and the stadium’s not even full. Indianapolis just doesn’t care about the Primitives this season. Good thing we’re getting out of here.
FELIX
Hey, I’d take a lackluster home game over an away game any day.
STARTING PITCHER
Huh? I mean we’re moving next season!
FELIX
WHAT?!
STARTING PITCHER
I’m sure it’s in your coach’s meeting.
FELIX
Oh, I’ll be at the meeting.
ROBERT
We’ll all be at the meeting. The Primitives aren’t leaving Indianapolis without me, that’s for sure.
LORENZO
Don’t worry guys, I’ll get this all under control.
STARTING PITCHER
Really you guys should probably leave now instead of keeping RSN waiting. That’s what I would do if I were you.
LORENZO
Alright guys, follow me. We’re going to RSN and we’re not leaving until we have jobs somewhere.
Everyone quickly gets up and leaves.
STARTING PITCHER [to himself]
That’s really all it took to get them out of here.
The STARTING PITCHER starts warming up. He proceeds to pitch into the fifth inning, where the Primitives outscore the opposing team. The Primitives still ultimately go on to lose the Championship Series.