Everyone arrives back at the Indianapolis Primitives’ stadium. LORENZO leads them up to the front office, where MIKE and SALLY, the co-owners, are taken aback.
SALLY
What…are you all doing here? Actually I don’t want to know. Goodbye.
LORENZO
Wait! Hear us out.
SALLY sighs
SALLY
The answer’s no. It’s a hard no, actually. But I’ll listen.
VICTOR
Do you even know what he’s gonna say?
SALLY
Don’t care.
LORENZO
It’s about my job.
MIKE
You did nothing to get your bad pitchers in better shape this year. We need a better bullpen coach. You’re out.
LORENZO
Come on, you gotta get me something! After how long I’ve been here?
MIKE pauses.
MIKE
You got that restaurant of yours, right?
LORENZO
Yeah.
MIKE
You can open a new location inside the ballpark. But you have to promise to never speak to me again.
LORENZO
Can Harry work as a waiter?
MIKE
Sure.
LORENZO
Deal!
HARRY
Do I get a say in this?
SALLY
Now if you don’t mind, we’re kind of on a phone call with the new owner of RSN so…can you leave now?
VICTOR
Wow we really interrupted didn’t we?
MIKE
Yeah, you did.
FELIX
I am very sorry to both of you, I promise it won’t happen again.
CARTER
Especially since Lorenzo’s banned from your office now.
ACE
Again we are so sorry.
HARRY
I’m not sorry. There was absolutely no indication either of you were on a call before we walked in.
BRYAN
You know what? Harry’s right! How were we supposed to know!
ROBERT
Yeah, respectfully, nobody told us and there were no visible signs that anyone was on a call.
DEVIN
Hold up guys…did we just have one last useless and drawn out conversation as a team?
ACE
I think we did. I’m gonna miss this.
SALLY [to MIKE]
How the hell do we get them out of here?
MIKE [to SALLY]
I don’t know, I think they’re a little too used to just hanging out in the same spot for three hours.
BENNY [on the phone]
Who are you talking about?
SALLY
Oh I’m sorry, we just had our old bullpen break into our office and we can’t get them to leave.
MIKE
Yeah but really, just carry on, we’re listening.
BENNY
Get them in on this call.
SALLY signals to the bullpen to have them come closer.
LORENZO
Hi Quinn! I have a job now!
BENNY
Oh…I’m Benny. Quinn’s gone. I’m back in charge again.
DEVIN
How? We were just meeting with him!
BENNY
The scandal. It’s kinda why I’m on the phone with your team’s ownership right now. Mike, Sally, I’m trying to tell you I fired the manager at RSN Indy. Ratings have been way down since the bullpen moved indoors and the team got worse. Plus, with the Primitives moving, we need new leadership.
MIKE
Okay…how does that concern us?
BENNY
Just thought you should know. But anyway since you got a bunch of people with you now…I fired a lot of our station’s regional managers and kinda need to find replacements soon. Wasn’t thinking that one through.
MANNY
Oh sorry, we were already offered jobs at RSN Santa Fe.
BENNY
Congratulations, you’re the regional manager now.
MANNY
Well I do have experience managing…just not in an office.
BENNY
Whatever.
BRYAN
Sir, do you really think it was a good idea to fire the regional manager of RSN Indy like that?
BENNY
I’m sure you’ll do a better job than that nitwit.
BRYAN
Huh?
BENNY
You heard me! You’re hired!
FELIX
I gotta interrupt you, we don’t all want office jobs! Some of us are actually good pitchers, you know.
BENNY
If you’re a good pitcher, you stay on the team. I assume.
MIKE and SALLY nod along.
SALLY
Felix, Carter, Dave, welcome to the Santa Fe Primitives’ bullpen.
FELIX, CARTER, and DAVE smile.
BENNY
Now everyone else line up left to right.
DEVIN, ACE, VICTOR, and ROBERT line up from left to right.
SALLY
They’re lined up.
BENNY
Starting on the left, we have a new executive at the corporate office. Next we got RSN Los Angeles, you’re leading our highest-rated and oldest station. Next to him we’ve got the regional manager of RSN Bridgeport. It’s our newest station, we’re gonna have women’s baseball soon. Finally we got RSN Anchorage. All I can say about that is good luck.
BENNY hangs up.
ROBERT
Anchorage? What am I even supposed to do there?
BRYAN
Go fish.
ROBERT
I don’t know how to fish.
BRYAN
It’s easy enough, you just hold up some cards, and then your opponent’s like ‘Got any threes?’ and if you don’t you say ‘Go fish.’
ROBERT
Oh you’re talking about the card game. I’m more a Battleship kinda guy but, yeah, I could do that.
DEVIN
We’ll all stay in touch, right? Even though we’re gonna be spread around the country?
LORENZO
Of course! Now everyone enjoy their new jobs. I know I will.
Everyone leaves the front office, and the stadium for the last time as an Indianapolis Primitive.