Aimee walks into a meeting of the Senate Republican Conference.
Greg: All right, gang. Tuesday did not go as we’d hoped. We’re down two senate seats, the Democrats have secured a supermajority for now. It’s unfortunate.
Janie: It’s a nightmare is what it is!
Aimee: If only you had a moderate to advocate for the party.
Liza: I don’t think pointing fingers does anyone any good.
Olivia: I managed to hold on as a moderate! They said it couldn’t be done!
Sharon: I’m still not sure how it was done. Or why.
Olivia: Must you antagonize me?
Sharon: Yes.
Geraldine: Children!
Olivia: Don’t patronize me!
Geraldine: Don’t act like children and I won’t call you children!
Greg: As I was saying before the fingerprinting and bickering, what happened is unfortunate, but we must move ahead. This is not an in-depth strategy meeting, I’m just trying to raise the morale here. This is a group of fighters, and we will persevere even through the toughest of times.
Geraldine: Yes, thank you coach!
Greg: That was coach-like, wasn’t it? I was just watching Friday Night Lights, that had something to do with it, I suppose.
Harry: Can I share my news?
Greg: Oh, right! I forgot you had news!
Geraldine: Hopefully what you have to say is better than the coach’s pep talk.
Harry: This is news I’ve only shared with two people - my wife, and Greg. I wasn’t fully ready to share the news with the world, but it felt like I needed all of you to know sooner rather than later. In 2026, I will not seek a sixth term in the United States Senate, and I will retire to Missouri to spend more time with my family.
Geraldine: Oh, Harry! I’ll miss the fun times, but you’ve earned this!
Harry: I appreciate that. In addition to stepping down from my seat, I’ve also decided that this will be my final term as the whip for our conference. I want to be around to help my successor with the transition, and so this is the right time for me to step down from leadership. Whoever wins the race to replace me will be able to call me up whenever they want and ask for advice, and I’ll be there for you.
Greg: We also came to a decision together. With our party losing so badly among women voters in this election, we need to rehabilitate our image. Getting a woman in leadership is a good starting point, so we‘re going to elect the first-ever woman senate whip in our caucus.
Geraldine: A woman in Republican leadership, you say? What a novel idea.
Greg: Obviously we greatly appreciate your contribution! Campaign committee chair isn’t as high-ranking as whip, though.
Geraldine: Hey, after what happened on Tuesday, I’m glad people forgot I was in leadership. We got shellacked, and I’m the one who found the candidates.
Greg: Good to see you already laying out a strong case to be named whip.
Geraldine: Why do you assume I want it? I don’t even think I want to run for re-election anymore!
Aimee: Senator McAllister! Don’t say that!
Geraldine: Oh come on, Aimee, is being in a Democratic supermajority Senate your idea of fun? Because it’s not mine! Things are only getting worse, too. I’m so tired
Aimee: You are an incredibly accomplished woman, and a fantastic senator. We need your voice!
Geraldine: Good thing I’ve got four years to make up my mind. Speaking of senators up in four years, how about you run for the job?
Aimee: Me? I’m only in my first term.
Geraldine: You’re a fresh new face! Look at leadership and tell me we don’t need one of those!
Greg: My face is plenty fresh.
Geraldine: Facelifts don’t count as making your face “fresh,” Greg.
Greg: I’ve never had a facelift!
Geraldine: Sure, and I’ve never had botox.
Harry: Well I think all the women in our conference should give it a good, hard look. It’s a great job, it comes with a wonderful office.
Liza: Is that the only benefit? It seems like the only benefit.
Maurine: You couldn’t pay me to take that job.
Greg: It does pay, that’s why it’s considered a job and now, you know, slavery.
Maurine: Not nearly enough!
Harry: Maurine, you don’t have to take it. Our conference has several very talented women who I’m sure will consider taking on the job.
Greg: We’re going to have several open positions in leadership heading into the next congress, and not just whip. I have to speak with everyone in leadership about whether they’re planning to return, I know this result was demoralizing for us all and some are ready to hang it up and pass it on to a new generation. So even if you don’t want to be whip, consider running for something else! This is about to be a new GOP!
Aimee: A new Grand Old Party? Is that not a big contradictory?
Greg: Aimee, don’t be a pain.
Geraldine: Yeah, it might hurt your campaign!
Aimee: I’m not running!
Greg: Give it some consideration, no one else seems to want to.
Later, when Aimee returns to her office…
Aimee: Ah, thank god this day’s just about over.
Denise: Was it that bad? Was it the conference meeting? Lots of crying?
Aimee: No tears, just annoyance. And then of course there was the Transportation Committee hearing. Why Leader Hagelin continues to allow Alma Fredham to chair a committee in her condition, I don’t know.
Denise: What you really need to ask is why California would re-elect her. Did you see the debate? Yikes.
Aimee: Debates don’t matter.
Denise: You’re just saying that because you technically didn’t have one and won anyway.
Aimee: I did a town hall, close enough. But that was a unique situation due to, you know, the attempted murderer.
Denise: Regardless, she’s got six more years in the Senate, and that’s terrifying.
Aimee: You know who doesn’t have six more years in the Senate? Harry Adelian. He’s retiring in ’26.
Denise: I didn’t see that one coming! Are heads rolling over the last few Senate cycles or is he just exhausted by it all?
Aimee: I think it’s the exhaustion. He’s still beloved by the whole caucus, myself included. I’m not sure who’s going to replace him, but Greg says it’ll be a woman.
Denise: Wow, some Republican identity politics. These midterms have truly screwed up their brains.
Aimee: Let me tell you, Denise. I’ve seen the women in our conference. I don’t know if any of them will provide the refresh Greg so desperately wants. Most of them have been in office forever, they carry that aura of Washington elitism.
Denise: Hey, there’s always Crystal Lynn McCartney-Harris.
Aimee: Ah, yes, what we need is a minority whip who’ll drop a slur against minorities in her introductory speech.
Denise: Seriously, though. Who are they going to get? Geraldine’s certainly put in the work to get the job.
Aimee: She doesn’t want it. She wants me to run. How about that?
Denise: Helen Langman might be good! A bit conservative for my taste, but she’s a relatively sane individual.
Aimee: I said Gerry wants me to run! Thoughts?
Denise: Aimee… that’s a bad idea.
Aimee: How so?
Denise: You’re seen as so moderate that you’re practically a Democrat. You vote with the GOP about 65% of the time. You represent a state that’s so blue, it took the Democratic nominee to be a literal indicted attempted murderer to barely elect a Republican statewide.
Aimee: Barely? I won by almost eight points!
Denise: Yeah, but it was looking pretty spotty for a while there. Those internals… oof.
Aimee: Regardless, it’s an opportunity worth considering, I think.
Denise: Do you know what a whip does?
Aimee: I’m not an idiot. I’ve been in office a long time.
Denise: The whip secures votes for or against bills. They enforce the party position and try to keep everyone in line. It’s a job that practically requires the holder of the position to vote the party line. That’s not you.
Aimee: That’s a good point.
Denise: Thank you, I used my extensive knowledge of you and your ideology to formulate it.
Aimee: One counterpoint, though.
Denise: What’s what?
Aimee: I think Janie would run and get the job if I don’t challenge her, and I really hate her.
Denise: Well, that’s a good reason to fight.
Aimee: Thank you! I agree!
Denise: If you think stopping Janie is important enough to run, I’ll support you.
Aimee: I’m your boss, I’d hope you support me regardless.
Denise: I’m not exactly a rebel, you’re right.
Aimee: I think I’ll ask Lynette about it. And, since they’re a package deal, Carolyn and Alec can also advise me.
Denise: Isn’t Alec busy with, uh… you know?
Aimee: He’s not packing up yet. He’s a procrastinator.
Denise: Exactly what you want in a legislator!
Aimee: Well, the good folks of Illinois’s 16th District decided they didn’t want it.
Denise: I don’t think that’s quite why.
Aimee: Trust me, the reason why keeps me up at night, because I committed the same “crime.”
Denise: That’s another concern about this whole whip business. The voters might not be happy about it.
Aimee: This could be a good form of protection for me. Who’s gonna vote the whip out?
Denise: Do voters know what a whip is?
Aimee: I’d hope the state party knows, and gives me some support.
Denise: Don’t hold your breath on that one.
The next day…
Aimee: Thank you all for finding time in your busy schedules.
Alec: You kidding? I have nothing to do! Half the House isn’t even there. The others are prepping for freshman orientation.
Carolyn: You have an office to clear out, no?
Alec: I’d rather not think about that.
Lynette: You’re just lucky you don’t have to clear yours out. That was a close one!
Carolyn: My district knows me. They appreciate the work I do for them.
Alec: Have they officially called the race for you? I know it’s close.
Carolyn: You shut your mouth!
Aimee: It’s a one point lead, Carolyn’s going to be fine.
Gwen: Gee, I hope not.
Carolyn: Is there a reason the Democrat keeps getting invited to our group meetings?
Aimee: She’s my friend.
Gwen: And, frankly, I’ve got nothing better to do. I mean, with such a huge Senate majority for the Democrats, the caucus’s room is quite crowded.
Aimee: All right, don’t gloat.
Gwen: I know, I’m sorry. You Republicans had a bad enough night last Tuesday.
Aimee: I felt vindication.
Alec: Yeah, so did I.
Carolyn: Am I the only one in this room of Republicans - and one communist - that was actually rooting for the Republicans in this election?
Lynette: Yes.
Carolyn: That’s quite sad.
Gwen: Yes, rooting for Republicans is, indeed, quite sad.
Lynette: You can’t deny that the party threw the rest of us to the wolves. You’re the only one that hasn’t been gravely mistreated by them.
Aimee: Anyhow, I actually want to ask about my own future in the Republican Party.
Carolyn: I knew this day would come. Aimee, I love you, but I can’t support a party switch. I know it’d make life easier for you, but you have to hold to your values!
Aimee: No! Not that!
Carolyn: Oh, thank god.
Lynette: I wish I could switch parties. I think I’d make a great independent. Not sure who I’d caucus with.
Alec: Not sure who’d want you.
Lynette: The rudeness some of you feel so free to express…
Aimee: I want to run for minority whip.
Gwen: Fantastic idea. Please do it, and fight for that win.
Carolyn: Does her enthusiastic endorsement of this idea not tell you all you need to know?
Aimee: I think she just supports her friend.
Gwen: I’m outraged you can’t see hoe much I support her, Carolyn! Not that I care how you feel about me.
Lynette: Well, you have my full support. I’ll fight for you to get it.
Aimee: Lyn, I love ya. I truly appreciate the support. I think you fighting on my behalf might do more harm than good.
Lynette: You think?
Alec: I know.
Lynette: That’s upsetting.
Carolyn: Life’s upsetting.
Three days later, at Cherie and Ernesto’s…
Cherie: Oh, it’s so good to have you home!
Manuela: Something is wrong. I see the worry all over your face.
Ernesto: Ma, don’t harass her. She’s just tired from the flight.
Manuela: She’s crying. You don’t see the tears?
Aimee: I’m not crying.
Manuela: Are you telling your grandmother she doesn’t see what she can clearly see? Are you saying she’s crazy?
Cherie: Who would ever say that?
Aimee: I have been racking my brain about something. Can I sit?
Cherie: Aimee, I notice the weight, the bloatedness, and I know children and pregnancy are exhausting but we’re pro-life, you have to have the baby.
Aimee: What?
Manuela: She would never consider it! Of course, I’d also hope she wouldn’t ban other women from having the option.
Dave: It’s an issue she hopes is not brought up to a floor vote.
Manuela: Cowardly.
Aimee: I’m not pregnant!
Ernesto: Thank the lord!
Kimmy: Yeah, mom and dad only want to worry about one daughter having an unplanned pregnancy.
Aimee: Are you pregnant? Oh, Kimmy!
Kimmy: No! They just keep fearing it’ll happen.
Cherie: You can’t say it’s impossible.
Kimmy: No, I can’t.
Aimee: I’m considering running for Senate Minority Whip.
Kimmy: What’s that?
Ernesto: Does it involve singing Devo?
Kimmy: Who’s Devo?
Manuela: You raised her well.
Ernesto: We did.
Victoria: Are you really going through with that? You seemed so apprehensive about it the last few days.
Cherie: You knew before me?
Victoria: I’m just not remembering that I wasn’t supposed to let anyone know.
Dave: We all make mistakes.
Cherie: Why did she know first?
Aimee: She’s just around. I needed someone to talk to for quick advice. It’s not something to discuss over the phone.
Ernesto: Why not?
Aimee: I know mom’s thoughts on how the party’s treated me. I’d rather just have the conversation in person.
Cherie: I might be mad at the Republican Party for censuring you, but I’ll never be against you doing what you think is right for your career. This is a big deal, whatever it is.
Aimee: Does no one know what a whip is?
Kimmy: I assume it’s not the thing the cowboys use.
Aimee: No, it is not.
Kimmy: Just had to be sure.
Aimee: They wrangle votes on bills, keep the party in line.
Ernesto: Hurts the bipartisan image, no?
Aimee: I can still be bipartisan, but now I’d have a voice in shaping our conference’s positions. I’d be able to help lead the Senate GOP instead of sitting back and being told what to do.
Dave: Not that you ever do it. And that’s what I love about you!
Aimee: Nice save.
Ernesto: Kiddo, go for it. You’ll never be in this situation ever again, I believe in you.
Aimee: I appreciate that, dad.
Manuela: Can we eat now?
Victoria: I brought my casserole!
Manuela: Make sure to point it out to me! I need to know what not to eat.
Victoria: Why do you dislike me?
Manuela: Aimee, I believe in you so much! So proud of you, and you’re a Republican, so that’s hard for me to say.
Victoria: Way to dodge.
Cherie: She doesn’t like anybody.
Kimmy: She likes me!
Three days later…
Aimee: Gerry! I thought about what you said?
Geraldine: About what? I say a lot.
Aimee: Running for whip.
Geraldine: Oh! Did I suggest that?
Aimee: Yes, Gerry, you did.
Geraldine: Well, if you’re serious about that, you better let Greg know. He’s closing submissions soon. Janie’s already in.
Aimee: All right, I’ll see you around then! Gotta go!
Aimee runs off.
Geraldine: Wow, she flew off so quickly, I didn’t even get to tell her I was thinking about running!
What did you think of this episode of Evergreen Aimee? Let us know in the comments and make sure to read the new episode next week!
