Marietta is at her dressing room before the first debate of the 2025 Democratic primary.
Marietta: I’m so nervous.
Patty Lynn: You have no need to be! You’re a great debater!
Amy: Eh.
Patty Lynn: Eh?
Amy: Egerton got the best of her. I got the best of her.
Marietta: You did not!
Amy: I think you struggle to be objective here.
Marietta: I think you do!
Amy: See, these comebacks are not going to get the job done. These people are animals. Eleanor Baum was a comedy show host, she has good, witty comebacks.
Marietta: So do I!
Amy: God love ya.
Karen: You’re going to do just fine, Marietta.
Marietta: Now I’m nervous. Any time you talk to me like that, I get nervous. You sound like a kindergarten teacher talking to a misbehaving child.
Karen: Well…
Tammy: You did well in the debate prep.
Amy: I was impressed with that, yeah.
Henrietta: And just think, if you really bomb, people will probably forget about it by the time the votes are cast.
Tammy: Yeah, but they’ll also forget about her.
Henrietta: I’m trying to stay positive!
Milton: I believe in you, Marietta. Just in case it goes badly, though, I’m going to be in the spin room trying to convince everyone that your performance was a masterclass.
Marietta: Now I’m all in my head.
Patty Lynn: Don’t do that! Just forget what everyone said and focus on you.
Martin: Look at me, darling.
Marietta: I’m looking, I’m looking!
Martin: You can do this. You have all that it takes to do well in this debate and really make your mark, and so, you will. Now go get ‘em!
Marietta: I have to finish getting my makeup on.
Martin: Just keep that go-getter spirit in your heart, okay?
Marietta: Got it.
Thirty minutes later, on the debate stage…
Moderator Velma Boudreaux: Hello and welcome to the first debate of the 2025 Democratic Primary. I’m Velma Boudreaux, your moderator and ABC News’s senior political correspondent.
Moderator Chris Appleton: And I’m Chris Appleton, your co-moderator and anchor at KCCI here in Des Moines, Iowa.
Velma: We thank the eight qualified candidates who join us here today for this debate. Candidates qualified for the debate based on the following criteria: attaining at least 1% of the vote in five nationwide polls or 2% in two of the first four primary states, as well as receiving donations from at least 65,000 unique donors. All candidates joining us today qualified well before the deadline, which was two weeks ago. Now, let’s meet our candidates!
Chris: She has served as both a congresswoman from Illinois and as Secretary of Education in the Howard Administration, Secretary Lauren Clarkman.
Velma: He is Kentucky’s current governor and former Attorney General, Governor Mick Bassar.
Chris: She is the longtime senator from Michigan and chair of the Senate Intelligence Committee, Senate Myrna Sommer.
Velma: He is the incumbent governor of North Carolina since 2017, Governor Richard Coifer.
Chris: Since 2009, he has served as Senator from Virginia, and previously served as their governor, Senator Andrew Washington.
Velma: She’s the mayor of New Orleans and a former US Senator from Louisiana and a US Representative, Mayor Marietta Landfield.
Chris: She’s a US Senator for Connecticut and a longtime talk show host, Senator Eleanor Baum.
Velma: And finally, assuming the position at the center of the stage, she’s a US Senator from Nevada, a former congresswoman, and a longtime synagogue leader in Las Vegas, Senator Jenny Ross.
Chris: Welcome to all of our candidates. As we believe adherence to the rules is necessary in to keep a peaceful and informative debate, we’d like to remind our candidates of the rules. Each candidate will be given a minute to respond to each question, only responding when called upon by the moderators. Microphones will be turned off if you make a habit out of speaking out of turn. If your name is invoked by one of the other candidates, you’ll be given a thirty second rebuttal. Raise your hand if you understand and agree to the rules.
Velma: All right, with that, we move on to opening statements. You all have ninety seconds for these opening statements, and we begin with Secretary Clarkman.
Lauren: Look, I know you don’t know me like you know some of the others on this stage. I’m not famous, I haven’t been in politics for decades, I don’t live on cable news. What I am is a mom, a wife, an average everyday citizen who had the honor of serving as head of the Department of Education, and reforming it. As the first elementary school teacher to serve as Secretary of Eduction, I took on issues that I saw firsthand in my classroom, in order to provide better learning opportunities for your children. We made advancements towards more individualized educational experiences for children, expanded mental health protections for students, brought new and innovative technology into schools, and, yes, expanded funding for public schools. We need a president who can handle these kitchen table issues, not brush them under the rug in order to focus on more “exciting” issues. Our kids deserve better, and so do you. I’ll be a president that fights for your family.
Velma: Governor Bassar, you’re up.
Mick: Folks, I know what you’re wondering. “Who the heck is this guy?” We Kentuckians don’t get much media attention, but I’ll tell you what we excel in: helping each other. Kentucky’s a wonderful state, and they’ve embraced me even as our commonwealth has moved away from our party. My strength is not in grabbing attention and making headlines, but rather in sitting down with voters and actually hearing them out and making them feel seen. I’m not some elitist snob, I’m a working class guy who worked hard for what he got, and voters in Kentucky can see that.
The Landfields are watching the debate on the TV in Marietta’s dressing room.
Tammy: Kentucky, Kentucky, Kentucky. We get it!
Kathleen: If you took a shot every time he said “Kentucky,” you’d die of alcohol poisoning.
Chris: Senator Sommer, you’re up.
Myrna: Voters need change! Brian Delphy has destroyed this country and embarrassed us on the world stage. It’s only thanks to Senate Democrats that we’ve been able to keep this dangerous man from further ruining our great country.
Milton: Wow, she’s going dark.
Amy: She’s like one of the villagers in Frankenstein convincing the others to start the castle with pitchforks and torches.
Henrietta: As if she needs to convince Democrats to want to set the president on fire.
Velma: Governor Coifer, the floor’s yours.
Richard: First, uh… I want to, uh… thank, uh… wow, lots of lights up here.
Milton: Oh boy.
Richard: It’s an honor to be here, really.
Moira: He sounds like a Best Actress nominee that just lost.
Patty Lynn: Glenn Close?
Moira: That was low. Poor Glenn.
Chris: Okay, Governor Coifer, I unfortunately think we of need to move on to Senator Washington.
Andrew: I never expected to be here. Not on the stage debating for president, not in the Senate, not in politics at all. We time as a politician came to rise out of necessity, not desire. I didn’t want to be a politician, but I was called to it. I needed to make change, because life was not working at all for the ones I loved the most. It wasn’t working for me. I ran for state house of delegates after I lost my job, because our state government in Virginia failed us working folks. Bill after bill to cut taxes for the rich didn’t trickle down like it was supposed to. Companies got greedier anyway, but those of us working paycheck-to-paycheck still couldn’t make ends meet. Huge companies came in and shut down small, family-owned businesses, and I, and hundreds of people in my town just like me, lost our way of life. We had to figure out a new path forward. I was determined to make sure that didn’t happen to anyone ever again. So when I look voters in the eye as I meet them on the campaign trail, and I tell them that I know their struggle, that is coming from the depths of my soul. I mean every word of it. I know how it is to struggle, I’ll do everything to keep your family from facing those same hardships.
Martin: He’s pretty good.
Milton: He’s incredible. I’ve known him for years and I didn’t know he had it in him!
Karen: I’m scared now.
Amy: You’re always scared.
Velma: Senator Landfield?
Patty Lynn: Here we go, gang!
Marietta: Everyone else on this stage has told you, and will tell you, about why you should vote for them. They’ll tell you how different they are from that much-maligned “typical politician.” They’ll go above and beyond to show that they, and they alone, can save America and fight for your family. I’m not going to do that. You’re all smart people, you can see through that, you know that’s just pandering. I’m going to tell you about me, and I’ll let you decide for yourselves if I’m for you or not. First off, yes, my father was a governor before. I know that’s been a topic of controversy, but it’s something I’m really proud of. Public service is in my veins, it’s something I feel I’ve been called to do. Thankfully, for over thirty years, voters in Louisiana and New Orleans have allowed me to serve. In my time in office, I’ve been a vote to defend healthcare, abortion access, LGBT rights, public education, and democracy. Those weren’t always easy votes to cast in Louisiana. I’ll be honest, I was up for re-election to the Senate in 2018, and I lost badly. I was seen as out of touch by the voters, and they didn’t agree with me. That was their right, it was a verdict I heard loud and clear, and I accepted it. But when you get knocked down, you have to get back up. I did get back up, and I dusted my shoulders off, and I said the fight wasn’t over. I ran for mayor, and I won. I tell you this because I hope you know that I’m a fight, and I get results. I do what I believe the right thing is in my heart, not according to special interest groups trying to pay me off. I march to the beat of my own drum, and I’m genuine, and I try to be transparent and honest. That’s who I am. Washington didn’t change me then, and it won’t change me now.
Tammy: She did good!
Amy: Let’s see how she holds up when she has a bunch of maniacs screaming at her.
Chris: Senator Baum, your turn.
Eleanor: At this point, I’m going to assume you know who I am, and you have your own opinion of me. I’m called a “celebrity candidate,” a sort of implication that this is not a real candidacy, that I’m not a serious person or candidate. It’s what I heard when I ran for Senate, and yet I won, and I serve just like any of the other ninety-nine members of the chamber: for the people. Yes, I was network TV’s only female late night host for a decade. I hosted the Oscars and the Emmys and, yes, I do know Meryl Streep. I’m a celebrity, I know celebrities, I’m friends with celebrities. I could call Meryl right now if I so desired, that might impress people, it might turn off others. This will be used to paint me as a out-of-touch elitist, a Hollywood liberal, someone who can’t connect with voters. Let me tell you, if I thought this was a weakness for me, I’d ignore it entirely. I’m happy with who I am, though. I’m confident, I won’t hide from a past that I am very proud of. That past doesn’t mean I’m going to be a president just for the celebrities and the Hollywood elites. I was an entertainer because I loved connecting with the people and bringing light into their lives. Those are the people I wish to serve. I will be a president for all Americans.
Patty Lynn: I’d vore for her.
Milton: Mom!
Patty Lynn: I didn’t say I’m going to.
Velma: And, finally, Senator Ross.
Jenny: My fellow Americans, I thank you for tuning in tonight to hear us debate. Everyone on this stage has a vision for America, the America they want us to live in and the America they want to be a part in creating as president. I’ll tell you right now, after years of chaos and division, I’m ready for an America that loves again. I want a kinder America, a nation of cooperation and unity. We can still save the soul of our country, even if we may be in a bad place now. The American Dream is worth saving.
Kathleen: A bunch of meaningless platitudes.
Milton: This is America, meaningless platitudes can win you elections.
Thirty minutes later.
Velma: Moving on to abortion, one of the Democratic Party’s defining issues, especially in a world after Roe vs. Wade. President Delphy claims he will only ban abortion if it’s the will of the people. As of now, over sixty percent of Americans say abortion should be legal in most cases, with even more supporting it remaining legal for health reasons or in the instance of rape. Mayor Landfield, you live in a state where abortion is banned, but you describe yourself as proudly pro-choice.” If elected president, would you supersede these state laws to make abortion legal nationally again?
Marietta: That would absolutely be the plan. While I respect those that say it should be left to the states, and I am from a pro-life state, I don’t view women rights as negotiable. With a Democratic supermajority in the Senate, and a majority in the House, I would make it a priority to pass a bill in my first hundred days to write abortion protections into law.
Jenny: Why’d you let abortion get banned in Louisiana, then?
Marietta: I’m not the governor, Jenny. We have a pro-life Democratic governor, I spoke with her, I asked her not to sign it, she said she had to uphold the will of the state. I did what I could. When I was in office, I voted to protect abortion rights despite my state’s lean. I assure you, that was not an easy move to make. It was not a politically expedient vote to cast. I didn’t really care about expedience, I cared about doing the right thing. It’s all I can do.
Jenny: Was your best not good enough, if you couldn’t convince an ally to listen to you?
Marietta: Not that I mind explaining myself to her, but why is she talking when she’s not supposed to? Just because she’s the frontrunner, she thinks she’s immune from following the rules?
Chris: That’s a good point. Senator Ross, this isn’t your turn to speak.
Jenny: I’m just raising a point.
Eleanor: It’s a bad point, Jenny.
Lauren: Yeah, what happened to wanting a kinder nation?
Jenny: I’m being ganged up on.
Velma: Everyone stop, stay on topic.
Richard: You guys are, uh, um… you’re turning this into, a… what’s the word?
Milton: Circus! The word’s circus!
Andrew: Just stay out of this one, governor.
Mick: Yeah, buddy, this is not your area of expertise.
Thirty minutes later…
Velma: Moving on to criminal justice. This has long been an issue that’s divided not just Americans, but the party itself. We’ll begin with a former attorney general, Governor Coifer. How will you approach the issue of law and order in office, and will you be open to criminal justice reform?
Mick: Does anyone think it’s a good idea to turn to him?
Velma: Governor Bassar!
Mick: Im just being honest!
Richard: I, uh… the lights are bright. It’s quite warm up here.
Marietta: You can do it, Richard. I believe in you.
Richard: I think law and order is important but, uh… you have to take it case by case. It’s important to show fairness and decency and… we do need reform, yes.
Chris: Very… informative.
Marietta: Can I answer?
Velma: Please.
Marietta: Look, people want to be safe, they want to feel secure. The fact of the matter is, under President Howard, who enacted criminal justice reform that led to the realizes of non-violent offenders, crime was down. Under President Delphy, who’s been tough on crime despite half his administration committing them, crime is up. Why? Because the law has been weaponized, because the president and his disciples are making more arrests for “crimes” like loitering or possession of marijuana or traffic violations. This has caused a spike in arrests for people of color, who are unfairly targeted more heavily by the police. I don’t mean to accuse our brave officers of racism, but we do need reform. We need justice, we need order, and we need compassion. Violent criminals belong in jail. The mom who forgot to pay her traffic violation does not.This has all led to prison overpopulation, which costs the taxpayers far more than it should, and it’s all the doing of the party that preaches “financial responsibility.”
Amy: I have to admit, as much as it kills me to admit being wrong, that she is killing it tonight.
Milton: I don’t know, I thought Richard had a good answer to that one.
Henrietta: How are we supposed to know you’re thinking if you don’t say “uh” six times in one sentence?
Later, after the debate…
Marietta: How are we feeling, gang?
Tammy: Pretty good!
Patty Lynn: You did amazing!
Moira: Milton’s out there in the spin room, spinning away. I don’t think you need it, though. You demolished them.
Marietta: I thought Andrew had a good night, too.
Karen: He did, but he didn’t get as much screen time. You took center stage and you killed it. This is the momentum we need, you’re surpassing every benchmark we’ve set for you so far. This nomination is well within reach.
Kathleen: I don’t know, Senator Sommer’s doom and gloom really resonated with me.
Martin: It would.
The next morning, Marietta is awoken by her phone ringing.
Marietta: Tammy, it’s seven in the morning. Someone better be dead.
Tammy: No, all alive and well.
Marietta: You’re not about to be.
Tammy: Hey, you’ll ruin your presidential campaign talking like that!
Marietta: Are you going to go to the press with it?
Tammy: If you keep threatening me, maybe!
Marietta: So what’s up?
Tammy: You won the debate.
Marietta: I did? How do we definitively prove this?
Tammy: All the snap pols are saying it. 62% said you won in the CNN poll, Fox News has you at 54%
Marietta: Fox News is always -
Tammy: Yeah, I know. CBS has you at 49% though, so let’s just believe Fox.
Marietta: What does this mean?
Tammy: People liked what they saw. They found you likable, agreed with what you were saying, and most of all, found you presidential.
Marietta: So I can win this thing?
Tammy: It’s looking a lot like it.
Marietta: Well, presidents need their beauty sleep, so I gotta go!
Tammy: Wait! I didn’t read you Politico’s winners and losers!
Marietta: Quick! You can read it like a bedtime story!
Tammy: You and Andrew were the winners, Richard, Jenny and Myrna were the losers, and they said Eleanor and Mick did nothing to help or hurt themselves.
Marietta: Nothing on Lauren?
Tammy: Have you seen her polls? Short of the other seven of you all dying, no way was she getting out of that debate a winner.
Marietta: I feel for her.
Tammy: She can serve in your cabinet!
Marietta: Would she do education again? No, we’re getting ahead of ourselves. Back to bed!
Tammy: See you later! Don’t forget, we have to be at the airport by noon! New Hampshire awaits!
Marietta: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What did you think of this episode of Marietta? Let us know in the comments and make sure to read the new episode next week!
