Claude and Meredith are having an audience at Buckingham Palace.
Claude: Madam Prime Minister, welcome back.
Meredith: Your Majesty, I thank you for your time.
Claude: This is not our usual schedule.
Meredith: I have something urgent to discuss with you, I’m so glad you were able to m one up the audience a few days.
Claude: Of course! Anything urgent requires my attention as well as yours. So what’s going on? Is the nation all right? Something the matter in Parliament?
Meredith: The nation is fine, Parliament is mostly fine… Andrea Raydon’s still a bit mean -
Claude: Is that not the job of the Leader of the Opposition, though, to yell at the Prime Minister?
Meredith: She doesn’t have to do it so cruelly. Nevertheless, that’s not what I’m here to discuss. Your majesty, I’d like to request that you dissolve Parliament and allow for a general election to be held next month.
Claude: Are you sure about that?
Meredith: With all due respect, sir, I’m not an idiot.
Claude: Didn’t call you an idiot.
Meredith: I’m aware you didn’t, I’m simply trying to point out, I’m very confident in this decision. I think our country is ready for an election. I’d like to prove myself by winning it. I’m so tired of my opponents claiming I have no mandate, so it’s time to show them I’ve got one.
Claude: All right, then. You are the prime minister, if an election is what you want, I see no reason not to grant it.
Meredith: Thank you, sir. I’m going to head over to Number 10 and prepare for the announcement.
Claude: Good luck, madam Prime Minister!
Later that day, Olivia turns on the television and sees Meredith speaking on it.
Meredith: Good evening, Britain. In the three years since our last election, our nation has undergone immense change. We’ve welcomed a new monarch, and, yes, a new prime minister. We’ve navigated through several world crises, including the breakout of war here in Europe, immigration challenges, the skyrocketing of fossil fuel prices, and the dissolution of a government that many agreed let the country down. Through it all, the British spirit has persevered. I am amazed by remarkable tenacity and dedication of this nation’s people. I am humbled by how many individuals I’ve spoken to that have thanked me for what this government has done for working people. We’ve strengthened our NHS, we’ve brought down the cost of living, and we’ve stabilized our national economy. Day in and day out, I’ve worked tirelessly for the British people. Despite this, I know you, the public, have never been given the opportunity to give this government a mandate. With our government now stable, and our nation in steady hands, I feel it is only right to now ask you, the nation, to take the future of this government into your hands, and choose your own future. I have confidence that you will stand by my side, and respect this work I have done, but it is your choice. I spoke earlier today with the King, His Majesty the King, and I requested the formal dissolution of Parliament. His Majesty granted this request, and we will hold an election on the eighth of August.
Olivia: Oh my god! Our nightmare’s over! She’s finally about to go!
Fred: You sure about that?
Olivia: Have you seen the polls? Have you seen her face? She didn’t believe a word she was reading! Honestly, I’m shocked she even read it that well, she certainly didn’t write a word of it.
Fred: I never underestimate this country’s ability to grant a reprieve to a failed government.
Olivia: Not this time. I can’t believe she called an election early, it’s madness. Like turkeys voting for Christmas! I bet Claude was doing backflips when he realized he’d be rid of her early!
Fred: I can’t imagine them winning either, but surely she did it for a reason. No one would call for their own party’s early demise!
Olivia: They would if they just want to get it over with already. Not to mention, the woman’s thick as a brick, she’s probably read the polling wrong. Maybe she thinks elections work similar to golf, the lowest score wins.
Fred: Andrea Raydon as Prime Minister, that’ll be interesting.
Olivia: It’ll be nice to have a PM that sounds like a Beatle.
Fred: Oh, come on, everyone knows they’re from Liverpool!
Olivia: Is that not where she’s from?
Fred: Manchester!
Olivia: Close enough.
Fred: So, you want to watch something worthwhile?
Olivia: Yeah, we better. I need something good to help me forget about Trayman stumbling her way through that speech.
Meanwhile, at Buckingham Palace…
Claire: So, an election?
Eleanor: Just another day for us.
Claire: But it isn’t just another day, we’re finally going to get rid of our prime dunce. She’s a national embarrassment.
Christine: I never did understand your intense hatred for the woman. She’s always been very respectable and kind towards us.
Claire: It’s not about how she is towards us, it’s about how she presents herself to the nation and the world. She makes us look like a joke, gaffe after gaffe and failed policy after failed policy.
Claude: Trust me, there have been even more of those than you can imagine. I steered her away from several truly awful ideas.
Ethan: Why is she calling an election now, though? Does she not understand she won’t get to be prime minister anymore?
Claude: I don’t think she understands the predicament she’s put herself in. She told me, and she has no reason to lie to me, that she wants to prove she has a mandate to govern.
Christine: I almost pity her.
Eleanor: I recognize that we’ve seen better prime ministers, but I think you’re all a bit harsh on her. I don’t think she genuinely believes her party will win, she’s just tired of being heckled and told that the nation never elected her. I’m sure she’s overly eager to prove her doubters wrong.
Claire: You’d think she’d have checked the polls first.
Eleanor: Some people would rather be defiant than be right. Your aunt-in-law comes to mind.
Ethan: Oh, come on, Olivia’s not even here to defend herself.
Eleanor: I love her to bits, but don’t tell me that she’s not a stubborn contrarian. It’s part of her charm!
Arthur: So who’s in line to be the next PM if Trayman is headed for a loss?
Claire: It’ll be Andrea Raydon, leader of Labour.
Claude: She’s a character, from what I recall. Only met her twice, though. Working-class gal.
Arthur: Much different than silver spoon Meredith, then.
Claude: Very different.
Claire: Also very different in that she’s one of the six hundred and forty-nine members of Parliament that has a brain.
Christine: Enough about this, politics makes me break out into hives, especially our prime minister.
Claire: She’ll be gone soon, so that’s a plus!
Arthur: What were we all discussing before my wife changed the subject
Two days later…
Olivia: That must be Gigi, can you get the door? I have to keep stirring this.
Fred: I got it.
Meredith: Oh, hello Fred! It’s so nice to see you!
Fred: Madam Prime Minister, what brings you here?
Olivia: I’m not here!
Meredith: Your Royal Highness, I hope I’m not bothering you.
Olivia: I said I’m not here!
Meredith: You always had such a warm and lovely sense of humor.
Olivia: You sound sad, Meredith, what’s wrong?
Meredith: You know, I’m in a bit of a crisis, and I needed advice from a good friend.
Olivia: You’ve chosen me?
Meredith: I know, it is awkward given that we’re practically family -
Olivia: Are we?
Meredith: Silly you! Back to I was saying, I felt it’d be inappropriate to ask the King for his advice on how best to keep may job - I didn’t feel it was something he’d like to give advice about. So, I had to find the only person in this city that I can actually trust, my only genuine friend.
Olivia: What is going on?
Meredith: It’s the Tories in Parliament.
Olivia: It always is, isn’t it?
Meredith: They want to oust me as leader.
Olivia: They want to oust a steady hand such as yourself? That’s just unfair.
Meredith: I know!
Olivia: Why are they doing this? And do you think it’ll actually succeed?
Meredith: They’re trying to get rid of me before Parliament dissolves so they can cancel the election.
Olivia: Canceling a scheduled election, that’s a way to win over the voters.
Meredith: I’ve been met with very lukewarm reception in Parliament since my announcement, as the party believes we’re going to lose the election. I don’t agree.
Fred: The polls do.
Meredith: The polls are wrong!
Fred: It is your right to believe that.
Meredith: Regardless, what’s important is that the party seems to fully believe the polls, and they want to stop the election. They’re terrified of getting wiped out. Apparently, many Tory MPs have submitted letters of no confidence against me. From what I gather, it’s enough to trigger a vote. I need advice on how to manage this.
Olivia: Oh, well… I’m no political expert. I don’t even vote. Claude doesn’t even tell me anything, all I know is what I see in the news.
Meredith: You have dealt with controversy before, you know how to weather it. On a human level, what do you think I should do?
Olivia: Before I give any advice, how do you think the vote will go if it does indeed happen?
Meredith: I don’t know at this point. I thought triggering this election would show my leadership abilities, make people finally realize that I can lead a nation by giving them what they want.
Olivia: Politicians don’t care about that!
Meredith: I just want a mandate, a clear sign that the British public wants me to be the one governing.
Olivia: Does your fifteen percent approval rating not indicate that enough? Oh, I’m sorry, that was mean.
Meredith: No, you’re not wrong. Thinking about it, calling the election was misguided. My hubris got in the way. I guess I just supposed people would see my point of view once we hit the campaign trail and I could explain myself to voters.
Olivia: Why not call off the election?
Meredith: I’d lose all my credibility.
Olivia: I say this respectfully, as someone who is practically “family…” what credibility?
Meredith: I don’t think that sort of talk helps anyone.
Olivia: Have you considered resigning?
Meredith: Resigning? I’m no quitter!
Olivia: You don’t seem very open to any of my advice, I must say.
Meredith: I’m sorry, I’m just so stressed! Everyone hates me!
Olivia: No one… er… most people don’t “hate” you.
Meredith: That’s not much of a comfort, I must say.
Olivia: The life of a political leader is turbulent one, you know better than anyone. Since you want to stick around, try all you can to ride out the storm. If you can’t do it, take comfort in knowing that you tried your best. Now, I have to go stir up my soup, so talk to Fred for a moment. Maybe he can offer up some worthy advice.
Fred: Oh, I haven’t been paying attention. I tuned out after we talked about the polls and the PM indicated she didn’t believe in them.
Meredith: I should leave you two be, anyhow. I don’t want to disturb your whole night.
Olivia: It’s three in the afternoon, I think our night will be fine.
Meredith: I still do have to go. I have to show my face around Parliament sometime today.
Olivia: You haven’t shown up today?
Meredith: I’ve mostly been panicking.
Olivia: Dear lord.
Later, at the House of Commons…
Suanna Brackerton MP: Madam Prime Minister, can we talk?
Meredith: Of course, Suanna.
Suanna: Come here, I know where we’ll have some privacy.
Meredith: Is this something serious?
Suanna: Have you heard what’s going on? Of course it’s serious.
Meredith: Are you telling me you want me out, too?
Suanna: The entire party wants you out, Meredith. If this election goes forward, we’re done for. They have us on seventy seats right now. We currently have three-hundred and ninety.
Meredith: That’s not my fault!
Suanna: You’re the Prime Minister! You called the election!
Meredith: I don’t appreciate the tone you are taking with me right now. Remember who appointed you Home Secretary?
Suanna: I appreciate all you’ve done for me, but now you’re taking the party down with you. Madam Prime Minister, over seventy letters of no confidence were sent in, it’ going to a vote. You will lose that vote, and you will be ousted and quickly replaced. Go out on your own terms before you destroy the party!
Meredith: Party’s already destroyed, far as I'm concerned! You’re a bunch of traitors!
Suanna: To them, you committed treason by calling this election two years early.
Meredith: So you’re going to force me out to deny the people of this country an election?
Suanna: We’re forcing you out to give this party more time to sort our the nation’s issues before we face an election.
Meredith: Give me one day to meet with members and reassure them before this is brought to a vote.
Suanna: It’s not up to me, I’m just the Home Secretary! I’m just trying to warn you, as a friend.
Meredith: If you’re my friend, help me stay in office.
Suanna: I can’t do that, it’d damage my own position in the party. In fact, your entire cabinet is prepared to resign in protest.
Meredith: What did I do to deserve this? Am I guilty of loving the country too much? Am I guilty of caring too much about its people?
Suanna: You’re guilty of being a dimwit.
Meredith: Excuse me?
Suanna: Calling this election is one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen a leader do, I refuse to believe it’s actually happened. It’s political suicide!
Meredith: I don’t have time for this, Suanna. I have to get to the PMQs, I don’t have time for this nonsense. I have very little time to reassure my party that I’ms someone worth having faith in.
Suanna: Good luck with that!
Later that night, Olivia gets a phone call.
Fred: Who could that be at this time of night?
Olivia: You mean at seven? I don’t know, it’s practically the crack of dawn!
Fred: You know what I meant! We rarely get phone calls this late in the day.
Olivia: I’ll go answer it, I know the ring of the phone disturbs your rest.
Olivia picks up the phone.
Todd: Mum! I was worried you wouldn’t pick up!
Olivia: Oh, Todd, always nice to hear from you! What’s going on? Just calling to chat?
Todd: The government is in crisis.
Olivia: So I’ve heard.
Todd: The Prime Minister is very concerned about losing her job, and, knowing the respect you command, Norah and I were wondering if you could try intervening to help her save her job.
Olivia: Todd Williams, have you gone Tory?
Todd: Lord, no! I’m just doing a favor for my girlfriend. Meredith getting pushed out as Prime Minister would be tragic for her.
Olivia: It wouldn’t be for the country, the woman’s got the brains of a doorknob.
Todd: So you won’t help?
Olivia: I’m not supposed to involve myself in politics to begin with, I’m certainly not starting today.
Todd: I guess it was worth a try.
Olivia: It was nice to hear from you, anyway. Next time, I hope it’s for a less asinine reason.
Todd: Thank you for the, um… “help.” Love you, mum.
Olivia: Love you, too!
Olivia hangs up.
Fred: What was that about?
Olivia: We’re getting a new prime minister.
The next day, at 10 Downing Street…
Meredith: I came into office two years ago, with a bold plan to change Britain for the better, and a desire to enact positive changes in the lives of its people, following my election by the Conservative Party. In that time, I’ve traveled the world and represented our nation on the world stage, and formed a government filled with qualified, expert leaders who have enacted successful polices that have turned this great nation around. I’m so proud of the world I have done, and for all I have delivered. Despite all that we have achieved as a government, I must recognize that I have lost the confidence of the party that brought me into office, and I can not continue as its leader. Therefore, I spoke to His Majesty the King earlier today to notify him that I am resigning as Leader of the Conservative Party. I met with fellow members of my party this morning, where we agreed to hold a leadership election for our party, to be completed within the next three days. I will remain as prime minister until a successor has been selected. Thank you.
Three days later…
Suanna: Your Majesty, so wonderful to see you you! I’ve always so admired you.
Claude: Ms. Brackerton, I’d like to congratulate on your victory as Conservative Leader. I would like to formally invite you to form a government as prime minister.
Suanna: I humbly accept your offer.
Claude: Then, congratulations, madam Prime Minister.
Suanna: Thank you so much. Now, can I request something?
Claude: That is within your purview.
Suanna: I would like to revoke the former prime minister’s request to dissolve Parliament next week, and cancel plans for the election.
Claude: It’s done.
Suanna: In that case, I suppose I should head back to Commons. We have a lot to do today, the last Prime Minister neglected her duty a bit.
Claude: Let’s get a photo first, for the records.
Ten minutes later…
Christine: So, how does she seem?
Claude: Well, she can speak, and she has reverence for the monarchy, so I guess she’s an automatic improvement. Things can only get better from here.
What did you think of this episode of The Princess Royal? Let us know in the comments and make sure to read the new episode next week!
