The group is dining together on the night before filming.
Diane: Look at us, eating at an authentic Italian restaurant, in Italy!
Sam: Are you going to point that out every time we go out to eat?
Leslie: It’s exciting for her, she’s never been to Italy before.
Sam: I understand that, I’m just a bit sick of having it pointed out how incredible it is that we’re eating real, authentic Italian food. I know I’m in Italy, I have been for days, the food being authentic is not news to me.
Diane: I guess joy is wrong now.
Sam: You don’t need to be so sensitive.
Garry: You know, this wine is fantastic. It just doesn’t get better than authentic Italian.
Sam: If I hear that phrase one more time!
Charlotte: Authentic -
Sam: You’re lucky we’re famous enough that we’d get photographed if I socked you in the face at this table.
Charlotte: Not the fist time fame has helped me out of a sticky situation!
Garry: I mean it, guys, you need to try this stuff!
Carly: Be careful with that stuff, honey.
Garry: I know my limits, dear, I’m not going to get drunk.
Carly: I don’t care about that, I just don’t want you to order too much of it, that stuff is expensive!
Garry: We have the money.
Carly: And I’d like us to keep it.
Leslie: Not that anyone here actually needs to worry about money, but the network is comping all of our meals. You can all order whatever you want without suffering the consequences.
Frances: Just what a table of greedy millionaires needs to hear,
Sam: What about all of those other meals that new did have to pay for?
Leslie: That was stacking up quick. I called Paul and told him about it and said that I was going to go broke from eating out so much and he offered to have the network pay for all future meals.
Carly: All right, order all the wine you want!
Frances: We’re not going to abuse this. Right, everyone?
Leslie: I am begging you all to be reasonable with this, let’s not bankrupt the network because we decided to eat our way through Europe.
Sam: When have we ever been known to go overboard?
Leslie: See, I don’t think you fully grasp what I’m saying.
Sam: Of course I do! Don’t overspend on meals. Simple stuff.
Leslie: You’d think, but some of you seem to live to make my life more difficult.
Garry: I’m ordering another bottle of wine, then. Can’t get this at home.
Diane: You can, you just need to put an effort into it. You can find fine international wines if you know where to look.
Carly: You didn’t need to tell him that.
Charlotte: So, back to filming tomorrow, everyone excited?
Sam: I’ve sort of just been enjoying the vacation, to tell you the truth. I’d rather that continue than having that silly little complication of having to work.
Diane: At least we already got to see a lot in Rome, and then we’ll have a while in Tuscany, too. We’re getting to experience the country in full.
Sam: Yes, but we still have to break that up with work, that’s no fun.
Charlotte: We’ll make it fun!
Garry: How about some wine?
Charlotte: That’s one way to do it!
Garry: I meant right now, not tomorrow.
Charlotte: That works, too.
The next day, the cast meets in the lobby.
Leslie: It’s the big day, folks!
Charlotte: Garry, you look awful.
Sam: How can you tell?
Charlotte: That’s very rude.
Garry: I don’t feel so good.
Leslie: What’s wrong?
Frances: He drank too much last night, that’s all.
Garry: My head is killing me, I feel weak, I really can barely move.
Charlotte: Your eyes look awful!
Frances: Get him some coffee, that should sober him right up.
Sam: That doesn’t work. Believe me, I’ve had enough wild nights on the road to know.
Frances: What are we going to do, he looks like a corpse!
Sam: Weekend at Bernie’s is a very popular film.
Leslie: So you want our first episode of our heavily-promoted Europe-bound extravaganza season to be Weekend at Garry’s? I don’t think that will go over too well with Paul or Jackie!
Sam: Jackie? We’re not friends, her name’s Jacqueline.
Diane: Where is she, by the way? I thought she was staying here too?
Leslie: She’s meeting us at the studio.
Frances: Ah, good, so we have like a half-hour to sober him up.
Sam: I say we start slapping him and hope for the best.
Garry: I’m fine, I can do the show like this. I just won’t be my usual self.
Sam: Thank god! Let’s do this every night before showtime!
Leslie: Garry, are you sure you can do the show?
Garry: Yes! You know how many people have to work when they’re sick? Why shouldn’t I?
Diane: If that’s a swipe at me, I didn’t have a choice when I took off. I was a mess.
Garry: I wasn’t taking a swipe at you, why would I swipe at you?
Sam: Do you have a guilty conscience?
Leslie: Maybe she’s still feeling bad about trying to pass off her sister as her. It was a very confusing time.
Diane: I never did it again, so I think we should let it slide.
Charlotte: That was before I was around, I forgot about it.
Garry: I don’t have the luxury of doing it, but I don’t need to. I’ll be fine. We film for so long, it’ll wear off. For now, though, would someone mind lending me their sunglasses? This light is killing me. Also, talk a bit more quietly.
Leslie: Um, sure. We’re heading to breakfast, though, some restaurants can be a little loud. You want us to just pick something up for you while you rest?
Garry: No, I’ll go. I don’t want you guys to have to come pick me up, and I want Carly to still have a car if she wants to go anywhere.
Leslie: All right, then we’ll get going.
One hour later, at the studio…
Jacqueline: Welcome, my friends!
Sam: Hey, that’s presumptuous.
Diane: Ignore her, she’s crabby.
Sam: I am not crabby! I just have boundaries.
Jacqueline: I work in Hollywood, I’ve worked with more than my fair share of crabs.
Sam: I am not a crab, I -
Jacqueline: I know, you have boundaries.
Sam: Exactly. We’re not friends yet, maybe in the future. It has to be earned, something Paul could never achieve. Good luck!
Diane: She has a very high opinion of herself, don’t let her get to you.
Jacqueline: Oh my god, Garry! You look awful!
Sam: I’m already warming up to you!
Jacqueline: I mean it! What is going on with him? Does he have the flu?
Frances: No, he has something much dumber.
Jacqueline: What’s wrong with him?
Leslie: He’s hungover. He insists that he can work, but he looks… like this.
Jacqueline: Garry, are you sure?
Garry: It’s the first day of filming, of course I’m sure!
Jacqueline: What were you all doing getting drunk the night before you filmed the season premiere?
Sam: Who is “you all?” Garry got drunk, the rest of us behaved. And he’s fine!
Garry: I’m fine!
Jacqueline: You sound like me when I had laryngitis!
Sam: He sounds nothing like a hoarse British woman!
Charlotte: He sounds nothing like me!
Frances: You’re not hoarse, you’re shrill.
Jacqueline: Just, go and get ready. The competitors are going to be here soon, we can’t keep them waiting.
Leslie: Hey, that’s my line.
Jacqueline: Clearly, you can’t keep your cast in line.
Leslie: Do we have a problem here?
Jacqueline: Only if they all keep poking around. Let’s stay on schedule and we’ll have no issues!
Leslie: You heard it, guys. Get yourselves changed, and then off to hair and makeup. Today’s a big one.
Sam: Yes, boss!
Garry: Frances, can you help me walk? I’m a little dizzy.
Sam: Ooh!
Frances: Get your head out of the gutter! He’s just unsteady, nothing romantic about that!
Sam: Sure!
Charlotte: You are sick.
Diane: That’s long been known.
One hour later…
Leslie: All right, gang! Three, two, one… we’re on!
Sam: Welcome to an all-new season of Bake Your Heart Out!
Diane: This season is our biggest and best yet! We have more competitors than ever, as we explore the finest of European cuisine and give you an in-depth look at the cultures of countries all around Europe.
Sam: Let’s meet our bakers for Bake Your Heart Out: Europe!
Diane: Up first is Alex, an electrician from New Hampshire who grew up baking with his grandparents!
Sam: We also have Andrea, a music teacher from Daytona Beach who enjoys baking with her students.
Diane: Next up is Art, a mail carrier from Tempe, Arizona who delivers cookies along with his mail.
Sam: Emily, hailing from Redondo Beach, California, is a secretary who sold her baked goods to help herself through college.
Diane: Frank is a photographer from New York City who credits baking with helping him fall in love with his wife during their time in home ec.
Sam: Jacob, a speech therapist from Lansing, Michigan, only began baking a few years ago, but has quickly amassed thousands of social media followers showing off his creations.
Diane: Janie, from Kitty Hawk, North Carolina, uses baking as a way to unwind from her long days as a financial analyst.
Sam: Please welcome J.C., an artist from Atlanta who has used his professional skills to make beautiful baked goods.
Diane: Jeanne serves as majority leader of the Rhode Island State Senate, and she took up baking as a way to spend time with her children when she wasn’t working.
Sam: Liza, a skiing instructor from Steamboat Springs, has become a TikTok sensation, labeling herself the “skiing baker.”
Diane: I always wanted a TikTok!
Sam: I think not having one is for the best.
Diane: I suppose. Well, Marcus probably has one! At twenty-one, he’s our youngest baker this season, and is a student at Stanford.
Sam: Mellie, from Clackamas, Oregon, is a hairdresser who bakes every Saturday for her fellow parishioners at church.
Diane: Quincy is a traffic cop from Vermont who uses the natural ingredients from around his farm in his famous maple-walnut cookies.
Sam: And, finally, Samuel is a pharmacist from Augusta, Maine who took up baking after his retirement!
Diane: Now that you’ve met the cast, let’s get to baking!
Sam: Bakers, since we’re in Tuscany this week, you will be making one of the most famous Italian desserts - tiramisu - for your Specialty Challenge.
Diane: Since it’s a Specialty Challenge, you won’t be making a classic tiramisu. No, you will be infusing your own personal touch on the recipe, using flavors to represent your hometown, your work, or your family.
Sam: You truly have free reign with this task, and you can use just about any flavors you want, as long as you can explain your story.
Diane: You have ninety minutes, good luck!
Ninety minutes later…
Sam: All right, gang! For the first time this season, it’s time for the judges to taste your creations! Let’s bring out Frances, Garry and Charlotte!
Jacqueline: Cut!
Leslie: What? I’m the producer, I decide when it’s time to cut! Everyone, proceed as normal, we’ll cut that out in post!
Jacqueline: He’s clearly unwell, no one wants to see him looking like that.
Leslie: He’s fine!
Garry: I’m fine!
Jacqueline: I’m in charge here, the network won’t want to promote the show with footage where Garry looks so poorly.
Garry: I really feel fine.
Jacqueline: You don’t, and we all know it. Garry, go home. We’ll film this tasting and judging without you, the rest of filming will be put on hold until tomorrow.
Leslie: That is not your decision to make!
Jacqueline: Someone has to take charge here.
Leslie: Are you kidding me?
Garry: I can do the work! Let Leslie lead!
Jacqueline: I respect your opinion, but I know how this looks on film, and it’s not good. Better to explain he was unwell for the day and have him join it tomorrow than have him mess up the premiere.
Leslie: All right, fine. You know best.
Jacqueline: That seems to be sarcasm, but I’m glad we’re not going to continue fighting about this. It’s for the good of the show. Another thing -
Charlotte: Oh no, she’s gonna snap.
Jacqueline: I don’t want any of you going out drinking the night before filming anymore. We can’t afford to have this keep happening.
Sam: You’re treating us like alcoholics!
Jacqueline: I’m treating you as any workplace would.
Frances: I’ve never worked anywhere before that tried to tell me what I can and can’t drink.
Jacqueline: At least exercise some caution. I’m supposed to make sure everything’s running smooth, and I’m in charge of relaying everything that happens here to the network. I’d rather not tell them multiple times that the cast was partying too hard and couldn’t film, since filming is the whole reason we’re over here at all.
Leslie: You’re so right, Jacqueline. Everyone, no drinking. I’m so glad we’ve all had this discussion before our contestants! Now, let’s get Garry out of here and get this filmed!
Garry: Where can I go? I didn’t drive today.
Jacqueline: I’ll arrange a car for you.
Garry: All right, but can I sit down while I wait for it. I feel woozy.
Jacqueline: Yes, Garry.
Garry: Thank you.
Jacqueline: No problem.
Leslie: Yes, no problem here!
Later that night, at dinner…
Frances: Hey, I have a question… is that Jeanne woman not the same senate majority leader in Rhode Island who pulled our tax credits?
Diane: She sure is!
Frances: Why’d we let her on the show?
Sam: I guess Leslie figured if we took her out of Rhode Island for a few weeks, that’s less harm she can do to them. The less politicians doing their jobs, the better.
Diane: Oh, they’re not all the same!
Sam: You’re right, she’s worse than the usual politician. Why’d we let her on?
Charlotte: you don’t need to worry, that tiramisu was soupy and flavorless, she’s gone this week.
Frances: Ah, look who’s here!
Diane: Feeling better?
Garry: A lot better. I’m so sorry for the trouble.
Leslie: It’s, uh… it’s fine.
Garry: You don’t look fine.
Leslie: You’re not who I’m upset with, if that’s what you’re worried about.
Garry: Then what’s going on?
Charlotte: Jacqueline.
Garry: What’d she do? I was so out of it, I don’t remember anything that was said besides being sent home.
Sam: So you don’t remember slapping Frances on the ass?
Garry: I did what?
Carly: He did what?
Diane: He did not do that!
Sam: But you believed for a second that you would, didn’t you?
Garry: No!
Sam: Sure.
Leslie: That bossy prima donna thinks she gets to be in control of this show. That’s not how it’s going to be. This is my show, and you all have been here since the start.
Charlotte: I haven’t, but I get the idea.
Leslie: This was her first day of supervising. She’s supposed to work in an advisory role, making sure filming goes smoothly.
Frances: Well, not to defend her, but Garry was clearly not working smoothly. He wasn’t in any place to work.
Leslie: He insisted many times he could, and I believed him. It was his job to say how he felt, and mine to assess how filming was going. She had no right taking control of my show and embarrass all of us in front of our competitors! How can they take us seriously when it looks like we take orders from some corporate bigwig
Diane: You’re right, but I don’t think it’ll end up being that big of a deal.
Leslie: No, I have to lay down the law. Tomorrow’s the night the lights go out in Pisa.
Frances: Oh, great, she’s turned into Dixie Carter.
The next day…
Jacqueline: Welcome, everyone!
Leslie: Quit the niceties.
Jacqueline: Excuse me?
Leslie: Jacqueline, this is my show. I am in charge, I run it, and I always will. I can deal with Garry, I can deal with all of the cast, and they don’t have to follow the orders you spit out. You’re just an empty suit from LA who came here because Paul thinks we’re unable to get around Europe on our own. If he knows you’re overstepping, I know he won’t hesitate to recall you back to LA and give us free reign. Understand?
Jacqueline: I, uh… I was just trying to -
Leslie: No! No explanation needed. I knew what you were doing, it wasn’t appreciated, but if you knock it off now, we can get along just fine.
Jacqueline: All right, got it. I’ll keep my mouth shut.
Leslie: I appreciate that. Now, everyone, get ready for the show, we have a long day today!
Sam: Yes ma’am!
What did you think of this episode of Bake Your Heart Out? Let us know in the comments and make sure to read the new episode next week!
