The Bullpen Season 1 Episode 2–Starter #2

Kurt: long-term reliever 
Lorenzo: middle relief pitcher
Jason: left-handed specialist
Robert: 8th inning pitcher/setup man
Bryan: closer
Eli: various relief positions
Garry: Bullpen coach

Robert: YES!
Kurt: You do realize our guys are at bat now right? That was out best hitter who just struck out.
Robert: Yeah I know, I got that pitcher on my fantasy team though and I really need a win.
Eli: You should trade for me, I’m on my own fantasy team and have a perfect 0.00 earned-run-average.
Robert: Yeah because you don’t pitch.
Eli: That’s not true, I came in for that one batter a couple months ago and got a guy out.
Bryan: Yeah, that was quite the catch made to rob a home run. 
Jason: To think, he was going to make that catch even if it meant breaking an arm.
Eli: Doesn’t change my 0.00 earned-run-average.
Garry: Alright guys look, we’re in a tough situation here. 
Lorenzo: *While finishing his 3rd cotton candy* They stopped selling cotton candy during the game? 
Garry: OK this isn’t as bad of a situation as your hypothetical one. But still, all of our fantasy teams have their needs. It would be best if our real team lost today, but it has to be a close game or else they might call us from the dugout to get people warming up.                 
Kurt: You think they’ll even let us back into the game after the dodgeball incident?
Garry: Kurt we went over this, we’re not going to talk about the incident anymore. It’s bad enough that they now make special announcements to the entire stadium that dodgeballs are no longer allowed in the stadium to a response of a standing ovation.
Bryan: Not an answer Garry.
Garry: Yes, I’m sure they’ll have you guys go in the game eventually.
*All look shocked/angry/mad*
Garry: *laughing* You should see the looks on your faces right now! The way our guys are pitching, you get paid to sit on a bench all season long.
Robert: NO!
Bryan: What’s wrong with that?
Robert: My fantasy team’s pitcher just gave up a single. Maybe if that shortstop learned how to bend down a little...Wait were you saying something about getting paid to sit on the bench? I’m fine with that.
Jason: Will you guys shut up, I’m trying to watch the game!
Eli: You’re looking at your phone.
Jason: Watching the game, duh. It’s way better when you can listen to the announcers.
Garry: *sees Lorenzo’s hand raised* Yes Lorenzo.
Lorenzo: What?
Garry: I see you think we’re in grade school where we raise our hands every time we want to speak.
Lorenzo: Nah just trying to get the attention of the cotton candy man. They better still have some pink left.
Cotton Candy Man: Heard you talking, you said you want pink?
Lorenzo: Yes, thanks.
Cotton Candy Man: All I have left is blue.
Lorenzo: EXCUSE ME?!
Cotton Candy Man: Sorry, they might have some pink somewhere else but that’s all I got.
Lorenzo: WELL THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE! *crowd silences*. GO AND TELL THEM TO MAKE MORE PINK COTTON CANDY. *he is now displayed on the giant screen* AND IF THEY SAY NO, YOU CAN TELL THEM TO
Jason: Whoa! Chill out Lorenzo, it’s just cotton candy. Deep breaths.
Lorenzo: I’M GETTING PINK COTTON CANDY OR MY NAME ISN’T LORENZO *jumps out of the bullpen and runs across the field to the third base line*
Lorenzo: Hi sir, do you have any pink cotton candy left?
New Cotton Candy Man: Yeah $3.
Lorenzo: Oh I’m one of the players.
New Cotton Candy Man: That was your first time on the field in over a month on my watch.
Lorenzo: Fair enough. *hands him $3 then heads back to the bullpen when the inning is over*
Gerry: Lorenzo I would tell you you’re unofficially suspended but it’s not going to make a difference. 
Robert: Yeah at least this time the crowd laughed at you instead of booed.
Jason: *watching phone* COME ON HE WAS SAFE!
Kurt: They called him out about 20 seconds ago. Maybe try watching it in real time. Also our team just won the game with that out.
Robert: And my fantasy team will take another loss it seems.

Share this

Related Posts

Next Post »