The Bullpen Season 1 Episode 4–Starter #4


Kurt: long-term reliever 
Lorenzo: middle relief pitcher
Jason: left-handed specialist
Robert: 8th inning pitcher/setup man
Bryan: closer
Eli: various relief positions
Garry: Bullpen coach

Kurt: So what’s everyone thinking for dinner after the game?
Jason: There’s a new restaurant a few miles away that sounds good, they have a big menu of Italian food. But no cotton candy, Lorenzo.
Kurt: Should we call to make a reservation?
Robert: If I wanted Italian food I’d go to Italian, let’s do the burger bar down the street.
Bryan: I’ll eat anywhere as long as they have a sushi bar and a hibachi option. Also Robert, it’s Italy.
Eli: Bryan that’s called an Asian restaurant and we just did that a few nights ago. I say we skip dinner and go straight for dessert.
Lorenzo: What he said.
Kurt: Garry what do you want?
Garry: Yeah sure.
Kurt: Jason?
Jason: What?
Kurt: Alright they’re not listening. Let’s just call a bunch of places and see when they can take reservations.
*all play rock-paper-scissors for the order of calling*
Kurt: Alright, so Asian, Italian, dessert only, burgers is the order.
*all at the same time*
Bryan: *calling Asian restaurant* Hi are you taking reservations later tonight?...7 people...No, alright thanks anyway.
Kurt: *calling Italian restaurant* Hello, do you—-and they hung up on me, great.
Lorenzo: *calling dessert-only place* Hi I’d like to make a reservation for 7 people tonight...yes this is the cotton candy bullpen guy...no reservations? Sure I believe you.
Robert: *calling burger bar* Hi do you take reservations?...You’re booked? Alright I’ll try again another time.
Jason: Nobody taking reservations? 
Kurt: Yeah I guess so, too bad.
Jason: I say we go now.
Eli: But we’re in the middle of a baseball game right now.
Jason: That’s not true. People who happen to wear jerseys with identical front sides as us are playing a baseball game right now. Not us.
Lorenzo: Shotgun!
Garry: So where are we going?
Jason: Why not all of them? It’s the 2nd inning now, so if we eat quickly we can get back here in a couple hours by the 8th inning.
Garry: Where first?
Jason: Only one way to figure it out.
*all play rock-paper-scissors again*
Jason: Alright so naturally we ended up going with dessert first.
*all head to dessert place*
Waiter: What can I get you guys?
Garry: 6 brownie sundaes and a fruit cup for the guy over there *points to Lorenzo*
Lorenzo: Don’t listen to him, make it 7.
*Waiter comes back with 7 fruit cups*
Lorenzo: I meant 7 brownie sundaes.
Waiter: Yeah well that’s what you’re getting. We have a policy of one dessert per person.
Kurt: This isn’t even a dessert, it’s fruit!
Waiter: Not my rule, or my problem.
Robert: Listen, we’re supposed to be at a baseball game right now waiting in the bullpen, how about you get us some brownie sundaes really quickly and we’ll match the overall price for your tip.
Waiter: On it. *walks away*
Bryan: *after a pause* So who do you all think our best player is who isn’t a starting pitcher?
Garry: I’d say the guy with the most home runs.
Kurt: Nah, the guy with the most hits is better.
Eli: I’ll go with the guy who catches the most balls.
Bryan: Do these people have any names?
Garry: How should I know who has the most home runs?
Kurt: He has a name, why, you don’t know it?
Eli: You know...it’s on the tip of my tongue...
Robert: Bryan you know none of us watch the games that closely. Who do you think the best player is?
Bryan: No clue, I’ll try to get some scoop on who has the highest batting average.
Waiter: *comes back an hour later* Here you go, 17 brownie sundaes
Garry: It was 7. SEVEN!
Waiter: It’s 17 now. Also I have your bill for you. $228.
Garry: You’ve gotta be kidding me.
Waiter: Oh actually yeah you’re right! My bad, forgot your senior discount...$226 now. So $452 overall counting my tip.
Garry: *reluctantly signs bill*
Kurt: Guys...the game’s been going by pretty quickly. We should head to the other three restaurants before it’s too late.
Garry: You know actually can we take these to go?
Waiter: Nope.
Garry: Great.
Kurt: Guys seriously, top of the 7th is almost here.
Garry: Alright everyone, let’s leave. *to the waiter* We’ll keep this encounter in mind. *all begin to exit the restaurant and see a line of cars stopped right outside the parking lot*
Kurt: Well this is just perfect.
*Sit in traffic for an hour and a half*
*return to bullpen to find almost no one in the stadium*
Jason: Behind you.
Bryan: What?
Jason: Check out the big screen. We’re celebrities again.
*all see the big screen focused on the bullpen, followed by a recap of bullpen action throughout the game*
Robert: I take it the game ended.
New Anonymous Fan: Yes it did. Nice job guys.
Bryan: So...about my hibachi suggestion...

Jason: You know what, why not try? Celebrate our 24th win of not going into the game.

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