The Bullpen Season 1 Episode 3–Starter #3

Kurt: long-term reliever 
Lorenzo: middle relief pitcher
Jason: left-handed specialist
Robert: 8th inning pitcher/setup man
Bryan: closer
Eli: various relief positions
Garry: Bullpen coach

Jason: Nice day for the beach.
Robert: Once we make it through the next eight innings, we’re free to do whatever we want. Until then, time to just sit on this hard bench.
Bryan: But what if we don’t have to?
Robert: Why you’d rather be put in the game?
Bryan: No. But I might have some stuff in my car. *leaves*
Eli: Think he’s leaving?
Garry: He’ll be back. Not like he’ll need to be though.
Eli: Yeah but he really wanted to go to that hibachi restaurant last game and we never got there. 
Garry: True. Eh, we don’t need a closer anyways.
Bryan: *returns with two towels*
Robert: Um...
Bryan: They’re beach towels. Put them on the dirt, lie down, and pretend you’re at the beach. 
Jason: I call the red towel.
Bryan: We can take turns. Let’s make an inning-by-inning schedule.
Eli: You’re gonna let this happen Garry?
Garry: It’s not ideal. But I can’t stop everybody from having their turn. *Eli shakes head*. My only rule is that we have to be facing the field. 
Eli: But the big screen...
Garry: It’s focused on us at one point or another every game. Let the crowd have what the crowd wants. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m gonna head to the beach. *lies down on the red towel*
Jason: Hey! I called that towel!
Garry: You also called “I got it” when the ball was popped up to you the last game you pitched. Doesn’t mean you did catch it.
Jason: Everyone gives up a double with a run scored occasionally, it happens.
Bryan: Schedule is complete. Kurt, you get the 4th through 6th innings. Lorenzo, you take the 7th inning. 8th goes to Robert and 9th goes to me. Jason and Eli can take a turn for a few seconds if somebody gets up from their towel.
Garry: So basically you have everyone in the positions they’re supposed to play on the field.
Bryan: Possibly. *Turns to see Jason and Eli on the towels.* OK that was a waste of my time.
Jason: I’m the one who came up with this beach idea. I’m on this towel for the rest of this game.
Garry: *at the bullpen phone* Hey coach called, Jason he wants you warming up. Left-handed batter coming up.
Jason: *gets up to warm up as Garry steals his towel* So when am I going into the game?
Garry: *laughing* You fell for it! Keep warming up for all I care, I’m at the beach right now.
Jason: *softly* Why is it always me?
Kurt: Don’t worry about it Jason, I might get tired of lying down by the end of my third inning with the towel, you can take a batter down the line if you’d like.
Jason: Really can’t tell if this is sincere or if you’re making fun of me right now.
Kurt: Sincere, but if you want me to make fun of you I’m more than happy to.
Jason: That’s alright.
Lorenzo: Hey Eli, how’s the beach?
Eli: Pretty nice actually, I think I’m going to go in the water now.
Lorenzo: Huh?
Lorenzo: Yeah but how?
Eli: With my water bottle. Not like I’ll need this thing. *gets up to pour water from his water bottle on his head*. Ahhh, that feels good...Lorenzo why are you on my towel?
Lorenzo: Sorry man, I couldn’t wait any longer.
Eli: *takes towel from Lorenzo and uses it to dry off* Here you go.
Lorenzo: Just what I wanted, a wet towel.
Bryan: OK this big thing doesn’t seem to be working out, how about we take a rain check on that one.
Robert: But it’s not raining...
Jason: Yeah and rain is like the ocean coming to you right on the beach.
Bryan: Guys, we’re not on the beach...Kurt why are you at the edge of the bullpen?
Kurt: There’s a ball headed our way, I want to catch it! I’ve always wanted to catch a home run in my glove! *reaches over to make the catch* GOT IT!
Right Fielder Teammate: *yelling at Kurt* You took the ball! I would’ve made that catch! 
Kurt: *yelling at right fielder teammate* No it was coming right at me and you know it.
Right Fielder Teammate: *yelling* It was right at the warning track! Why do you need another ball anyways, you all never warm up!
Jason: That’s not true I warmed up for a little bit today.
*Umpires on field huddle, then signal an interference that counts the hit as a home run. The big screen focuses on the bullpen and the crowd boos.*

Lorenzo: Sorry Eli, I know you valued that 0.00 earned-run-average.

Share this

Related Posts

Next Post »