Betty is at the store with Karl and Jerry.
Betty: When do you guys think we should start up the holiday sales this year?
Jerry: I’ll be honest, I don’t even know what day it is.
Betty: I want to say Thursday?
Karl: It’s Monday.
Betty: Close enough.
Jerry: The baby has truly complicated things around the house.
Betty: You mean the fact that you can’t go to sleep because you hear her screaming and crying?
Jerry: Yeah, pretty much.
Betty: That’s the magic of hearing loss. I just take my hearing aids out and voila, peace and quiet.
Karl: You could probably avoid suffering hearing loss and just invest in a $3 box of earplugs from CVS, too.
Jerry: I’ve got those. They’re not good enough. I still hear it.
Betty: You do have the bedroom right next to Steven and Alysa.
Jerry: It’s awful. Before, I heard the sounds of Mitchell snoring. Now, it’s gone from Alysa screaming in pain due to contractions to little Caitlin screaming because she’s one week old.
Betty: Look, you guys are pro-life, this is the consequence of that. Deal with it.
Jerry: Wow. That was blunt.
Betty: I’m looking for advice for my business. I was named one of Lakey Magazine’s 50 small business leaders to watch.
Jerry: Are there even 50 small business owners in Lakey? Did they include gas station owners and Starbucks franchisees? Hoe prestigious
Betty: It also included surrounding towns. Duh.
Jerry: Oh, well now it’s impressive.
Betty: Glad you realized. So, the sale. When should we get it started?
Jerry: It’s October 30th.
Betty: Yes. And?
Jerry: Christmas is almost two months away!
Karl: And that’s coming from someone who screams about the “war on Christmas” every year!
Jerry: I haven’t screamed about that since Governor Yosher was elected. He made Christmas legal again in our commonwealth.
Karl: Get ready to start screaming about it again, his term is up.
Jerry: And Whitney Sands is going to carry on the legacy.
Karl: Dream on, man!
Betty: You two are being as unhelpful as Mitchell today!
Karl: Please don’t ever compare me to -
Jerry: We have a customer.
Betty: We’ll continue this later. Hello and welcome to Betty’s Bout-
Alicia: Betty Bellwood!
Betty: Oh my gosh, Congresswoman Spanheim!
Karl: I voted early for you.
Betty: I really appreciate that.
Jerry: I voted for -
Betty: Shh!
Alicia: Hey, I love democracy and know it’s stronger when we all vote, even if it’s not for me.
Betty: Don’t tell him that. He deserves to feel shame.
Alicia: No voter should feel shame for their choice.
Betty: No voter? We’re friends. You can be honest with me.
Alicia: That’s actually why I’m here.
Betty: Yeah, why are you here? Surely, you have better things to do five days out from an election than talk to me.
Alicia: I need volunteers. I can’t spend my last days on the campaign trail in Henrico County, because I have to speak to voters in areas that don’t know me so well. That’s why I need to rely on volunteers and community leaders like you to help turn out voters here at home. Could you canvass for me and knock doors to make sure voters get to the polls? The ground game in the last few days of the campaign is so important, it could be the difference-maker.
Karl: How could anyone not know there’s an election happening? Every other TV ad is for you or Eleanor Baum or Brian Delphy.
Alicia: You’d be surprised! Some know and just have no motivation to get out there and vote.
Karl: Does nothing them at their door help change their mind?
Alicia: Well, I have a list of doors of prospective voters that we think would be influenced by some door-to-door persuasion.
Betty: I would be happy to help! You know, I’ve always said that you would be the perfect Democratic nominee for governor. And now, they’ve finally listened! My friend is going to be governor.
Alicia: And if I win, I’ll always be just fifteen minutes away. Any problem you need solved, my office would be willing to look into it. I love helping small business owners! Within reason, of course.
Jerry: Don’t tell her that, we’ll try to get you to deport my son-in-law to West Virginia.
Betty: Can you do that?
Alicia: No, I can not.
Jerry: Thank god. That would be government overreach.
Karl: And we all know how much you hate that if a Democrat’s doing it.
Alicia: Well, I’ve taken up enough of your time, I think I owe it to you to buy something.
Jerry: Bribery! I’m telling the Sands campaign!
Betty: Snitches get stitches.
Karl: It’s not a bribe, either. She didn’t ask us for our vote in return.
Jerry: Maybe she thinks I’m a gettable voter if she busy something.
Alicia: I really do not.
Jerry: You’re going to jail.
Betty: Please ignore him. He’s one of those Republicans that doesn’t live in reality.
Alicia: Him voting for my opponent does make sense, then.
Later that day…
Betty: You guys won’t believe who I bumped into at work today!
Jerry: You say “bumped into” like it was accidental. She came in on purpose to demand something of you.
Betty: She demanded nothing of me. She asked me for a favor. I was happy to help.
Teri: Who are we talking about?
Jerry: A communist.
Frank: You met Joy Behar?
Teri: She’d have run in crying if she had. She’s her hero.
Tammi: And what a hero to have.
Steven: Could you guys be a little quieter? We just put the baby down.
Teri: I know the screaming is annoying, but that’s a bit harsh.
Steven: For a nap!
Tammi: She knows. She’s just giving you a hard time.
Steven: It’s hard to ever know with you guys.
Betty: Is no one going to guess who was in the store today?
Cindy: Alicia Spanheim.
Betty: Yes! How did you guess?
Cindy: Jerry thinks she’s a communist, you’re old friends with her, and she’s busy campaigning to get elected governor. Felt like a secure guess.
Betty: I have taken on a role as a volunteer. I’m one of many responsible for helping to turn out the vote here in Henrico County.
Tammi: She should send you to Anita’s house, you might be the one person who could push her to vote Republican.
Alysa: Oh, she already voted early.
Cindy: You know, I’m considering a vote for Spanheim. She’s been. Good congresswoman.
Jerry: Are you joking?
Cindy: Not really, no. I don’t agree with her on much, but I think it’s time for change. Sands is kind of nutty. All she ever talks about is how much she hates solar power. Is there a single person basing their vote on that?
Ralph: It’s like she thinks it’s 1984.
Jerry It will be if Spanheim wins!
Ralph: It’s going to be okay. You’ll live, just like we lived through eight years of your terrible governor.
Tammi: It was only four.
Ralph: Felt like eight!
Jerry: I just don’t know how you can all support this woman.
Betty: Lucky for use, we don’t have to explain it to you. It’s a free country.
Teri: For now.
Betty: Maybe not if your President Delphy gets re-elected.
Frank: He’s your president, too. He’s America’s president.
Teri: Shut the hell up, Frank.
Betty: Thank you.
Teri: Any time.
Cindy: Well, I’m gonna go make dinner before a civil war breaks out. What does everyone want?
Betty: Chicken!
Jerry: We just had chicken! I want spaghetti!
Ralph: Can’t even agree on dinner without bickering.
Cindy: As God intended.
The next day…
Betty: Thank you for coming along with me. It’s so much easier to have a driver than to have to drive myself. I can just hop out, knock on the door and ask them to vote, and hop back in. No worrying about where to park!
Danielle: Do I just sit in here while you do your thing?
Betty: Yeah, that’ll be fine.
Danielle: How long will you take at each house, you think? Do I have enough time to crack a book out or should I just entertain myself with music?
Betty: I really don’t know. I don’t think it would take that long.
Danielle: I’ll just listen to music for now. I’ve got a book in my glove compartment in case of an emergency.
Betty: Emergency?
Danielle: You do like to talk.
Betty: Come on, I’m not that bad.
Two hours later…
Betty: These people are mean.
Danielle: Are they not enjoying a stranger coming up to their house in the middle of the afternoon?
Betty: Not at all! I don’t get it! One even said he’d vote for Sands now because of me pestering him!
Danielle: That just isn’t right.
Betty: Hey, have you made a plan to vote yet?
Danielle: Betty, don’t start.
Betty: I just w-
Danielle: Do you want me to vote Republican?
Betty: No! Please no! Anything but that!
Danielle: Then save the spiel.
Betty: Got it!
Danielle: Glad we’re on the same page.
Betty: Okay, to the next house we go.
Danielle: Please make sure they don’t throw eggs at the car this time.
Betty: Hey, it’s Halloween, we don’t know if that was election-related.
Danielle: They followed you out the door with a cartoon of eggs!
Betty: Because they were expecting a treat and I didn’t give it to them, so they gave me a trick.
Danielle: Just don’t piss anyone off at the next stop.
The next week…
Patrick Colby-Howerton (news anchor): Thank you for joining us for a special edition of the Lakey Action News, we join you with coverage of the 2025 elections.
Jerry: I have a good feeling about this.
Ralph: So do I.
Jerry: Well that can’t mean the same thing.
Teri: Cindy, how’d you end up voting?
Jerry: I don’t want to know!
Cindy: And I don’t want to share.
Ralph: Oh my god, she went woke.
Cindy: I did not go woke! It was just time for change.
Tammi: That’s a great Motley Crue song.
Cindy: And my philosophy in this current election.
Patrick: We already have a race call in the highly-watch, but uncompetitive, Virginia governor race. For years after our light blue state went red, Democratic congresswoman Alicia Spanheim is the projected winner, easily defeating Republican state House speaker Whitney Sands.
Jerry: I’m moving. Florida, here I come!
Teri: I’ll pack for you if you promise to take Frank with you!
Ralph: Mom, why aren’t you cheering?
Betty: I’m so tired. I’m eighty years old, why did no one tell me it would be a bad idea to spend ten hours a day for an entire week driving around the county trying to talk to voters?
Teri: We tried.
Betty: Not hard enough!
Teri: At least you helped make something good happen.
Betty: I’m happy about that. But I need a nap.
Frank: Also, many people feel sh-
Teri: Do I even have to say it?
Frank: I should shut up…
Teri: On the money! For the first time ever!
Two days later…
Alysa: Who’s that at the door?
Cindy: I don’t know, but I guess I have to get it.
Karl: I’m closer, let me just grab it.
Karl opens the door and sees Alicia standing at the door.
Karl: Oh my god, it’s the governor-elect! How did you find our house?
Alicia: Karl, I was in the CIA.
Karl: I don’t know if I should be frightened or not.
Alicia: No, never. I only use my connections for good.
Karl: And by “connections” you mean…
Alicia: My CIA connections. Nothing shady. Uh, is Betty there?
Karl: I’m sorry, I’m just very surprised to see my next governor at my doorstep.
Alicia: I just had to thank her for her support.
Betty: Who’s there?
Karl: A friend!
Betty: Alicia! My governor!
Alicia: Betty, I just wanted to thank you. It’s been seven years that you’ve been supporting me and believing in me, and it’s just been an honor. I couldn’t have gotten across the finish line without people like you.
Betty: I remember driving you to a debate in 2018. I never thought - I mean, I believed in you. But this is just…
Alicia: It’s wild. But you are one of many Virginians who I am always going to keep in mind during my governorship. I hope to live up to the support you’ve had for me over the years. I want to do you and all of the voters who came out to support me proud.
Betty: You’re off to a good start. This is… above and beyond.
Alicia: Well, I was in the area. But I don’t want to disturb your evening. Again, if you ever need anything, give your governor a ring. I’m here to help.
Betty: Will do! Good luck, governor.
Alicia: Thank you.
Alicia leaves and Betty closes the door.
Teri: What was that about? And are you crying?
Betty: We’re in good hands.
What did you think of this episode of Our House? Let us know in the comments, and make sure to read a new episode next week!
