ROBERT, ACE, LORENZO, BRYAN, HARRY, and MANNY all are in the Indianapolis Primitives’ bullpen.
ACE
Guys guess what.
ROBERT
You’ve said it already. Today is the first day you’ve lost track of how many games it’s been since you’ve pitched.
ACE
That, but something else too!
LORENZO
What?
ACE
You gotta guess first, I’m not gonna just tell you!
LORENZO
What if I don’t have anything to guess?
ACE
You have to have SOMETHING!
LORENZO
Nope.
HARRY
Knowing Lorenzo, he’s telling the truth, he really does have nothing to guess.
ACE
Yeah I actually do buy that coming from Lorenzo. But someone else has to be able to guess.
MANNY
Just a random guess or an educated guess?
ACE
Am I supposed to know the difference?
BRYAN
I’d say it’s in the number you’re thinking of is in the ballpark—
ACE
Huh?
BRYAN
Oh I was waiting for laughs. Get it, since we’re in a ballpark?
ACE
Lame, and also I never said to guess a number.
BRYAN
I thought we were guessing how long it’s been since you pitched?
LORENZO
My money’s on 72 games.
LORENZO takes out his wallet and puts a $20 bill on the snack table.
ACE
Oh so NOW he has a guess.
MANNY
Nah, I think it’s more like 20.
MANNY puts a $20 bill on the snack table.
HARRY
13 for me. But I’m not betting $20 on it.
MANNY
That’s no fun, you gotta bet something.
HARRY
Fine I’ll put a counterfeit there.
Everyone stares at HARRY horrified.
HARRY
Kidding! I’ll leave a JFK.
A what?
HARRY
A JFK, it’s like a dollar coin or half dollar or 75 cents or something like that. Who else is betting?
BRYAN
I haven’t seen many games so I shouldn’t bet. That said, I’m going with 5 games.
BRYAN puts a $20 bill on the snack table and takes a bag of chips.
ROBERT
I say 14 games.
ROBERT puts a $20 bill on the snack table. The bullpen phone rings.
MANNY
I’ll get it!
HARRY
That is your job!
MANNY answers the phone, listens, and hangs up.
MANNY
That was Jason. Ace, they want you warming up. Said they know it’ll be two games in a row for you but they have confidence.
ACE
I pitched two games in a row?
MANNY
Maybe they lost track too.
BRYAN
Way I see it that’s the official word and closest to my 5 day guess. I win the money!
BRYAN takes all the money off the table.
ACE
Alright. Well, I better pitch well given my girlfriend’s watching. I was trying to tell you guys but you turned it into a bet of how long it’s been since I pitched!
MANNY
Wait…really?
ACE
Nah, but I had this whole bit planned where I was gonna pretend I had a girlfriend.
ACE runs onto the field.
HARRY
He’s not gonna take any warm up pitches?
MANNY
Guess not.
HARRY
Bases loaded you know, this might not be good!
ROBERT
Oh this definitely won’t be good.
BRYAN
I have faith in him.
ROBERT
You haven’t seen him on the mound.
LORENZO
Why are they running, he hasn’t pitched yet.
BRYAN
Dude just stole home plate.
MANNY walks away. ACE comes back to the bullpen.
ACE
Well, I gave it my all.
ROBERT
You didn’t throw one pitch.
ACE
Yes but I was standing on that rubber like I was about to! And I didn’t even get injured! In fact, I’m gonna sit here for a while and just take it all in.
ROBERT
I wouldn’t if I were you. I’m guessing Jason, and really the entire team, is mad right now.
ACE
Crap, let’s go!
Everyone leaves.