The Bullpen Season 2 Episode 16: The Recruiter


CAST
Kurt: long-term reliever-turned starting pitcher
Lorenzo: middle-relief pitcher
Robert: 8th inning/setup pitcher
Eli: left-handed specialist

Eli: Where are Jason and Bryan?
Robert: Should be back soon, not today though.
Eli: OK. I'm gonna start recruiting players.
Kurt: Huh?
Robert: That sounds kind of random.
Lorenzo: Everything we do sounds kind of random. 
Eli: Lorenzo's right. Kurt, you're pitching now. Robert, you might be pitching now, nobody really seems to know. Lorenzo, you're opening up a restaurant. What am I doing?
Lorenzo: Pointing out what all of us are doing, got it.
Eli: No, hypothetically, I mean I'm not doing much of anything. So I'm gonna start recruiting some players.
Kurt: Good luck with that.
Robert: Trust me, you're really gonna need it.
Eli: Watch this. (Yells to other team's bullpen). Hey, anyone want to join our team? We have a bench that's heated, lights up in different colors, has air conditioning, a full bar with a guy that sells hot dogs before the game starts--
Player: Say no more. I'm in.
Eli: See everyone? I can recruit. 
Kurt: That's one guy and the selling points you made is just going to get us 15 Lorenzos. 
Lorenzo: That's a compliment.
Kurt: No it's not.
Lorenzo: To me it is.
Eli (yelling to other bullpen): Who else wants to join our team? Best bench in the league!
(Multiple players show interest)
Robert: You can't just get people to join our team, it doesn't work that way.
Eli: Sure I can. I'll become the team's General Manager.
Robert: Yeah. Because you can get promoted just by doing nothing.
Eli: Happened to Jason.
Kurt: Happened to me too.
Lorenzo: Same here.
Robert: Lorenzo you never got promoted.
Lorenzo: Yes I did. I'm a celebrity from that All-Star game, and many people have my autograph.
Robert: Delusional. Either way, what you're doing isn't how it works Eli.
Eli: Watch. 
(Eli takes out his phone and calls someone.)
Eli (on the phone): Hey General Manager! Can I have your job?...Great! Hope to hear from you soon!
Eli (off the phone): He said I can have it next season if he decides to step down.
Kurt: Yeah, IF he decides to step down. He won't. He was probably talking sarcastically. Also, did you just call him General Manager?
Eli: Forgot his name. Only met him once and it was months ago.
Robert: I'll be shocked if you actually get the General Manager job.
Eli: Not like I'm needed in the bullpen.
Robert: Doesn't mean they'll relocate you to the position of General Manager!
Eli: Maybe they will.
Kurt: Yeah, maybe. Not probably. 
Eli: I know, there's probably not much of a chance. It's worth it to try though. 

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