The Bullpen Season 2 Episode 8: The Autographs

Kurt: long-term reliever-turned starting pitcher
Lorenzo: middle-relief pitcher
Jason: bullpen coach
Robert: 8th inning/setup pitcher
Bryan: closer
Eli: left-handed specialist

Jason: Kurt, you did it! Seven innings pitched, only allowed two runs, and got a win!
Kurt: I know Jason, it's kind of weird how they still have me sitting in the bullpen every day but whatever.
Robert: It's kind of weird how they still have me sitting in the bullpen every day too. I should've been let go at least a year ago.
Bryan: I should've never been hired to begin with.
Jason: Guys can we let Kurt have his moment? 
Kurt: It's OK, I'm off to sign autographs now. 
Lorenzo: Oh that's a great idea! Let's all sign autographs!
Jason: Sounds like a terrible idea. Go for it. I'm going home.
[The players exit the bullpen area and go outside the stadium where fans are waiting for autographs.]
Robert: Wow, long lines.
Bryan: Do you think our lines will be that long?
Robert: No way. How about this: first one to get someone to ask for an autograph a signed baseball from our team.
Eli: The entire team signed a ball for you?
Robert: Nah I got it at the gift shop. They gave it to me for free. Well really I stole it.
Lorenzo: Alright, let's go sign some autographs.
[The players all wait for several minutes with no one coming up to them.]
Bryan: That's it. I'm leaving.
Eli: Already?
Bryan: No one is coming up to us. They'd rather wait in line for an hour for whoever's sitting next to us. 
Eli: That's one of our starters. I assume.
Bryan: It's not worth it for me to stay.
Robert: Yeah I'm leaving too. I just realized I have nothing to gain out of this by teasing that ball.
Eli: You're leaving me alone with Lorenzo??
Lorenzo: What's wrong with that? You scared of a little competition?
Eli: Lorenzo, one kid noticed you at the all star game. I don't think you're a huge celebrity.

Lorenzo: Maybe not. But ice cream is.
Eli: What's that have to do with what I just said?
Lorenzo: I'll be back.
Eli: OK...I guess I'll just wait here alone then, with nothing to do.
Lorenzo: OK.
[Lorenzo leaves for a few minutes and returns with ice cream.]
Lorenzo: Look at this Eli, vanilla ice cream. 
Eli: You're really going to eat that now?
Lorenzo: No way! Why would I eat it when it'll help me win? 
Eli: And how would having a cone of vanilla ice cream help?
[A crowd of people come over and swarm around Lorenzo.]
Lorenzo: Congratulations sir, you've just won free ice cream. Now, do you happen to have a permanent marker?
Fan: Sure...why do you ask?
Lorenzo: We're doing a trade, I give you ice cream, you give me a permanent marker.
Fan: OK you go.
Lorenzo: Thanks, now if you don't mind I'm going to just scribble my name on your shirt.
Eli: Hey is that my jersey you're wearing??!!
Fan: Yes! It was on sale and extremely cheap so I figured--oh I'm sorry. 
Eli: I'm used to it. But had my jersey and only came up here because of free ice cream? You had no intention on trying to get me to sign my own jersey?
Fan: Maybe I could have. But ice cream is so much better.
Lorenzo: I win! I should open up a restaurant. 

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