Delta Season 1, Episode 2 - Cat Scratch Fever

DELTA! is one of The TV Ratings Guide's first ORIGINAL SERIES, an original feature ONLY on The TV Ratings Guide.


Delta is at the animal shelter, looking for a pet.
Delta: Hey, uh, Jean.
Jean, the receptionist, jumps up in her seat.
Jean: Hello and welcome to the Eastern DuPage County Animal Shelter. I’m Jean.
Delta: I know.
Jean: How’d you know?
Delta: Your nameplate. It says Jean.
Jean: Oh. How can I be of assistance to you this evening?
Delta: I want a cat. I’m in desperate need of a friend.
Jean: Well that’s sweet. Let me take you to our cat room. We only have ten right now, some lady came in and adopted five of them just about an hour ago.
Delta: Five? That’s insane!
Jean: I know, but at least she seemed nice. Her friend said she just lost her husband so I guess she needed company.
Delta: I guess that does make it better. I just want a cat because I’m what I like to call “eternally single.”
Jean: Here we are, dear. Go ahead in and see what you like. I’ll be right here.
Delta: Sounds good! 
Delta heads into the cat room.
Delta: Oh my! Look at you. You’re all just so cute.
60 minutes later…
Delta: Jean, I think I’m ready.
Jean: So who do you want?
Delta: All of them.
Jean: Wow. That’s an interesting selection. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone adopt ten cats before!
Delta: Well, you’ve never met me before!
Jean: Are you sure you want them all?
Delta: Yes. I couldn’t ever pick between them.
Jean: Alright, I’ll need a friend to call for the recommendation. It’s a formality here if adopt any animal.
Delta: A friend? You can call my friend Ariana. She should be home by now.
Jean calls Ariana, who answers.
Jean: Hello Ms. Donnelson. This is Jean from the Eastern DuPage County Animal Shelter. I’m calling about your friend, Delta Fleming.
Ariana: What about her?
Jean: She’s submitted a form of adoption for some of our cats, and I just wanted to make sure you’d recommend her as a pet owner.
Ariana: Oh, absolutely. She’s very responsible.
Jean: Responsible enough for ten cats?
Ariana: I guess. Now, I gotta go John. I have some drinking, I mean cleaning, to do.
Jean: Okay -
Ariana hangs up.
Jean: Your friend seems lovely.
Delta: She’s not.
Jean: Oh, I know. All I need is your signature here and the payment.
Delta: How much?
Jean: Well, it would usually be $600 for all those cats, but we can knock $100 off because you did buy ten at once.
Delta: Sounds good. I just need to get my cat carriers out of the car. I only have two since that’s all I thought I’d get. Could I make a few trips?
Jean: Whatever you need to do.
The next day, at Delta’s
Delta: Guys!!! I can’t wait to show you my cats! I just got them all yesterday and you’re gonna love them!
Charlie: I’m allergic. Can I still go down?
Delta: Sure. I won’t bring them to you, they’re locked out of the living room anyway.
Charlie: Okay. I guess that’ll work.
Delta: The rest of you, come here.
Delta takes them into her dining room, where all of her cats are being kept.
Damien: My god.
Delta: That’s Katarina, and she’s beautiful. That’s Nancy. She’s sweet but she also has a sassy side. There’s Kathy, she’s a b*tch and all of the other cats hate her. There’s Scott, he’s the only male one that they had at the shelter. And that’s Oliva. She’s an orphan.
Jamie: Aren’t they all?
Delta: Maybe. But don’t cut me off! You haven’t met the other five yet!
Ariana: Five???
Delta: Yeah, I thought Jean told you I was getting ten.
Ariana: I thought it was just a really strange question.
Delta: Well it wasn’t. There are ten of them. But here’s Dorothy!!! Everyone wants to copy her haircut.
Ariana: She’s a cat!
Delta: I know, but her fur is just so beautiful.
Damien: Yeah, I’m done.
Jamie: I am too. I have… a thing.
Ariana: So do I.
Charlie: I can’t breathe!
Delta: Oh no, Oliva! How’d you get out of the room?
Charlie: You left the door open!
Delta: Oh.
Jamie, Ariana, and Damien take this opportunity to start running out.
Delta: You can’t leave!!! You haven’t met Tina yet! She’s the baby of the group!!!
Jamie: We don’t care!
Delta: How dare you? At least I love you, Tina!
Tina: *Meow*
Charlie: I gotta go.
Charlie heads up the stairs.
Charlie: Marilyn, it is a mess down their.
Marilyn: Why?
Charlie: Our girl adopted ten cats.
Marilyn: Aren’t you allergic?
Charlie: I thought so too, but I guess my mom was lying to me and I just never was around cats enough to realize it. But I felt nothing around those cats.
Marilyn: Why’d you run out screaming?
Charlie: It was horrible. She was introducing us to all of them and nobody was enjoying it.
Marilyn: How bad could it be?
Charlie: They’re all named after figure skaters or women my mom has book club with.
Marilyn: Well that’s not good.
Downstairs, Delta is trying to take care of her cats.
Delta: Alright guys, dinner time.
Delta goes to pick up her cat Kathy, but she scratches her arm and runs away.
Delta: Oh my god, it’s bleeding! And it’s so deep!!!!
Delta runs to the bathroom to treat her wound.
Delta: Why won’t it stop bleeding? Someone help me!!!
Delta’s mother Marilyn rushes down the stairs.
Marilyn: What’s all the yelling about?
Delta: My arm! The cat scratched it and it’s gushing blood everywhere!
Marilyn: Which one did it?
Delta: Kathy.
Marilyn: You’re gonna have to be a bit more specific than that.
Delta: The tan one!
Marilyn: That clears it up.
Delta: Well can’t you just help me?
Marilyn: Just put a band-aid on it and it’ll be fine.
Delta: That’s not helpful!
Marilyn: Just trust me!
Delta takes her mother’s advice and puts bandages on her arm.
The next day…
Delta: Oh my god my arm is killing me! I think it’s infected.
Marilyn comes running down.
Marilyn: What’s going on?
Delta: My arm is infected! Your advice was garbage!
Marilyn: I’m sorry. I thought it would be enough.
Delta: Well now I’m going to the doctor.
Delta calls the doctor and makes an appointment for later that day.
At the doctor…
Dr. Corzine: So what’s going on today Delta?
Delta: I think I have an infection. My cat scratched me and I didn’t treat the wound right.
Dr. Corzine: This seems pretty. Simple, I’ll check it out and- WOW. That is ugly.
Delta: I know.
Dr. Corzine: This is definitely infected. Take this medicated cream and head home. Make sure to rest and try not to use the arm too much.
Delta: Thanks Dr. Corzine. I’ll try to take your advice from now on and not my mother’s.
Delta goes out to her car and remembers something important.
Delta: Oh my god I have to get to work! Nah. I’ll just call out.
WRITTEN BY: Rebecca Bunch
CREATED BY: Rebecca Bunch
PRODUCED BY: Rebecca Bunch,  TVRGO

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