The group is on the plane flying to Greece.
Diane: Sam, can I have your pretzels?
Sam: No, they’re mine!
Diane: You’re not eating them.
Sam: I might get hungry later.
Frances: I’m begging you to come to any sort of agreement that will shut you the hell up so I can go to sleep.
Diane: I have earplugs, you want earplugs?
Frances: They gave us all earplugs, I can still hear you through them.
Sam: Well, shove another pair in there, that should block the sound out fully.
Frances: Very funny. Now shut up!
Diane: Tell her to give me the pretzels!
Frances: You can have mine.
Diane: Yours is open.
Frances: I ate one, that was enough. Bit stale.
Diane: You sure?
Frances: Very much so.
Diane: All right, I appreciate the gift.
Frances: Your silence will be a gift in itself.
Five minutes later…
Leslie: I’ve been instructed to take this seat next to you.
Sam: And you just listened?
Leslie: Frances threatened to quit the show, and she looked very serious about ti and incredibly angry, so I complied. She didn’t say what exactly you two were doing that was keeping her awake, though, so I suppose I’ll get to learn that as the flight goes along.
Diane: We were just talking, trying to entertain ourselves on this flight. Nothing abnormal.
Leslie: Some of us have different definitions of abnormal, so I guess we’ll have to wait and see.
Sam: I don’t know why she couldn’t handle us chatting a bit. What else are we supposed to do on a flight?
Leslie: Well, I brought a book to read, that’s something you could do.
Sam: I don’t like reading. It’s not fun. Too much work and for what? Learning things? Ew.
Leslie: That’s a child’s view of reading.
Diane: She has a child’s view on a lot of things.
Sam: I think you want an argument, but it’s fair. I do.
Leslie: Regardless, I don’t care if you talk. I’m very good at tuning out nonsense when I’m reading. When I’m in the zone, I’m in the zone.
Sam: Thank god. No one wants to sit next to a librarian on a flight.
Diane: Ironic metaphor there, considering Leslie’s the one reading a book.
Sam: Thanks for that observation, Alanis.
Later that day…
Charlotte: Ah, Greece! I still remember my summers spent in Mykonos!
Sam: Back when you were young enough to still go clubbing?
Charlotte: I am still very young.
Sam: Honesty is important, but sometimes admitting the truth to ourselves does take time.
Charlotte: I will not be gaslit into believing I’m old! I’m youthful!
Melanie: I think it’s wonderful that someone your age can still feel that way!
Charlotte: I think spending months on end with Sam has completely corrupted our dear Melanie.
Sam: It’s wonderful, isn’t it?
Charlotte: No.
Garry: I’m glad to be here finally exploring my Greek roots.
Frances: Greek roots? Is that some sort of hair treatment?
Garry: I’m part Greek!
Frances: And I’m the Duchess of Cornwall.
Garry: I am! My parents have always said we’re part Greek.
Frances: Opa!
Sam: Is your mother Nia Vardalos by any chance?
Charlotte: I’m friends with her. Lovely woman.
Sam: That’s swell.
Leslie: Maybe he’s Greek in the same way that Cher is Cherokee.
Sam: So, not at all.
Leslie: It’s a feeling for him, not actually genetics. Just let him be, he doesn’t hurt anyone.
Garry: But it’s true!
Leslie: It sure is.
Carly: It definitely isn’t.
Frances: No matter whether we’re Greek or not, we are here early. We’ve got plenty of time to explore Athens.
Diane: Or plenty of time to go back to the hotel to watch My Big Fat Greek Wedding.
Frances: We can do that anytime, no?
Diane: Not while we’re actually in Greece!
Frances: You know what else we can do while we’re in Greece? Explore Greece!
Leslie: I want to go see the ancient ruins. I’ve always loved Greek culture. We can go to the Parthenon, and, uh… the other ones.
Garry: I’d like that a lot!
Diane: You sure? That’s a lot to do on a travel day.
Leslie: We can’t do it on a filming day, and I don’t want to wait three more days to see the most iconic part of Greece.
Diane: Okay, fine. But you’re all coming to my room tomorrow night to watch my movie.
Charlotte: Why do you want to watch it so badly?
Diane: I just think it’d be a fun group activity.
Charlotte: All right, fine.
Sam: I hate rom-coms.
Diane: You hate everything.
Sam: Correct.
The next morning, at breakfast…
Leslie: Wow, everyone looks so chipper!
Carly: I hiked my ass off yesterday. I need a good nap and it’s not even nine in the morning.
Sam: I don’t want to hear it from you, you actually can sleep. We have to work, on camera no less!
Frances: This is all Leslie’s fault.
Leslie: I didn’t realize it was so much walking.
Frances: How could you not?
Leslie: Clearly none of you did, either! You didn’t mention anything when I suggested it!
Sam: We assumed you knew better.
Leslie: You assumed wrong!
Garry: It’s fine. Our exhaustion likely won’t transfer to the camera. Even if it does, you said you had technology to remove the bags from under our eyes.
Sam: They don’t have any technology to make us sound in any way energetic. We all look like zombies.
Charlotte: Zombies are more lifelike.
Melanie: I don’t mean to interrupt this complaining session -
Diane: By all means, say something to distract us from our negative mindset.
Melanie: You know what I was thinking last night after we got home?
Sam: That your calves hurt so badly that you were wishing for the sweet release of death? Yeah, I was in the same boat.
Melanie: You know what my daughter was learning about in school earlier this year?
Carly: Is this a long story? I don’t know if I can stay awake for it.
Melanie: Ancient Greece!
Carly: Oh. Fascinating.
Melanie: She was very, very into it. She’d talk about it every day after school, she got books about it, she made sure everyone in the house knew about it. So walking through those ruins, I thought about how she should be there to see them with me, and it made me feel guilty.
Diane: Don’t feel guilty! She would not want you to at all!
Sam: I don’t know, kids are pretty -
Diane: Sam!
Sam: Got it. Zipping my lips.
Melanie: It’s not that I don’t think she’d want me to get to experience these fun things, it’s more that I feel guilty for being away from her for so long. I talk to her, but the time zones are so different here, I can’t call her until it’s really late here, because she’s in school all day.
Charlotte: You have nothing to feel guilty about.
Diane: Exactly! You’re out here making the big bucks for your family. We know quite well you’re making tons more as a PA on our show than working at that hotel, so you’ve got nothing to feel guilty about.
Melanie: I know, but it’s just hard. You kids are only young once.
Carly: I’m going to be honest with you, Melanie. I don’t feel the same way about mine.
Sam: Well, your children are part-Garry, so I get wanting time away from them. Why you’d spend part of that time with Garry, that I don’t know.
Carly: It’s not that I don’t love my children -
Leslie: I’d hope not!
Carly: I just… I think the break is nice.
Melanie: Don’t get me wrong, I’m having a blast. I just miss Chelsea.
Charlotte: Who’s Chelsea?
Melanie: My daughter!
Sam: You know, all these years we’ve known you, I don’t think you’ve ever said her name!
Melanie: What?
Sam: I don’t remember hearing it.
Frances: I’d like to make fun of you, but I don’t know if I’ve ever heard her name before, either.
Melanie: Yeah, this doesn’t help.
Frances: I’m sorry.
Melanie: I feel like I’ve abandoned her, and I miss her so much.
Leslie: We’ve got three more weeks and you’re home free.
Melanie: I don’t know if I can make it that long. When you’re a mother, you have this bond, and when you’re separated for so long, there’s just an aching in your heart.
Diane: What are you saying, honey?
Melanie: I’m ready to go home. I think I’m going to.
Leslie: Are you saying what I think you’re saying?
Melanie: I think I’m going to quit and fly back home to Providence.
Leslie: Wow, this is sudden. It’s a big shock.
Melanie: I know, it came as a shock to me to realize it’s how I felt. Obviously, I’ve missed her the whole time, but being here in Athens is just such a reminder of what I have back at home.
Sam: So it’s all the Greeks’ fault? This is why the Romans defeated them, karma for taking you away from us.
Melanie: It’s not goodbye, it’s see you later.
Diane (crying): I’m gonna miss you so much!
Sam: Diane, you’re crying into your yogurt.
Diane: I don’t care!
Frances: Who among us doesn’t like salty yogurt?
Sam: I prefer mine free of bodily fluids, but that’s just personal preference.
Leslie: Can I ask you something, Melanie?
Melanie: Sure.
Leslie: Just stay until this episode is filmed. Aside from the network being upset about paying for the room for someone that’s not even working this week, it’ll give us a little more time to see Greece together.
Melanie: Well I wasn’t planning on leaving today, so I can stay one day longer than I planned. That’s fine.
Leslie: Ah, good!
Melanie: I don’t want any of you cooking up any schemes to change my mind, though! As sad as it is, this is what I need to do.
Leslie: We would never!
Sam: Eh… seems like something we’d do.
Later that day, on the set…
Jacqueline: Where have you all been, and why do you all look like you’ve been sobbing?
Leslie: We’ve had an emotional day.
Jacqueline: Lovely to hear. Why are you late?
Leslie: Melanie is leaving our show.
Jacqueline: Leaving? We have two weeks left in the shoot, where’s she going?
Leslie: She misses home. Apparently the trip around Greece was a bit of a trigger for her. Her daughter has a particular interest in ancient Greece.
Jacqueline: So she’s quitting her job for it?
Leslie: You don’t have to understand, but you do have to accent that we can’t force her to stay.
Jacqueline: You are correct in that, but it doesn’t change the fact that we have two weeks and now we’ll be short-staffed.
Leslie: What do you want me to do about it?
Jacqueline: Talk to her.
Leslie: I’m her friend, I have to support her. She thinks that going home is what’s best for her daughter. Who am I to stop her from going?
Jacqueline: You’ll have to pick up the pace around here without her.
Leslie: That’s fine, Jacqueline. This is not a discussion.
Jacqueline: This is already causing a bit of an inconvenience with you being late, I’d just hate seeing the show sent into a sort of chaos with less hands on deck.
Leslie: You know, you’re capable of helping out around here if you’re so concerned.
Jacqueline: Me?
Leslie: Yeah, you. Now, I have to go get ready to start the show. As you said, we’re already running late. Also, frankly, I’m pretty hungry for spanakopita.
Jacqueline: You never eat what the contestants bake.
Leslie: I didn’t really eat breakfast this morning. Too many emotions, all that.
Jacqueline: It’s definitely a good idea for you to get the show started, anyway. The sooner we get out of here for the day, the better. Lots to see around here.
Leslie: Don’t even get me started.
Jacqueline: What’s that supposed to mean?
Leslie: Between the long hike to the ruins that left my whole cast exhausted and those same ruins providing as some sort of emotional trigger for Melanie, they’ve caused me a lot of grief the last day.
The next day…
Diane: Andrea, Frank, the judges were wowed by your take on classic savory and sweet Greek baked goods, and you were their favorites for the week.
Sam: However, only one person can be victorious.
Diane: Frank, you’ve been on the judge’s radar all season and have really impressed them, but you never quite rose to the top. Today’s your day! Opa!
Sam: Now for the tough part.
Diane: You have all done so well in reaching the quarterfinals. With only five of you left, no one should feel shame in having their journey end today.
Sam: Marcus, the judges appreciated the flavors that were present in your bakes, but both your baklava and your spanakopita were excessively dry and overbaked.
Diane: Emily, the judges felt your walnut cake was lacking a walnut flavor, but they did praise your baklava for being masterfully prepared.
Sam: You both did very well this week, but simply got outdone by the other three competitors. The judges did, however, feel as if one of your made a more glaring error this week than the other, so the person going home is… Marcus.
Diane: Marcus, you were our youngest competitor this season, but your culinary knowledge is far beyond your years. Hold your head up and be proud for what you accomplished this season! Great things lie ahead for you in the kitchen!
Sam: Thank you all for joining us for a Greek celebration on Bake Your Heart Out! Tune in next week for the semifinals in Vienna!
Leslie: Cut! That’s a wrap on Melanie’s last episode with us!
Charlotte: Oh, Leslie, don’t embarrass the poor girl.
Melanie: I have something to share.
Sam: This should be good.
Leslie: What is it? This is a safe space, say whatever you’re feeling!
Melanie: Remember how I said my mind was made up?
Leslie: About?
Melanie: Leaving the show.
Leslie: What are you saying?
Sam: I think she’s chickening out.
Melanie: I talked to Chelsea last night and told her I was planning to come home early because I missed her too much and felt guilty about traveling so much. She yelled at me.
Gary: Well, kids do that sometimes, you can’t hold that against them. They don’t always understand why we go away for work and they can lash out.
Melanie: No, she yelled at me for wanting to come home! She said this is a once in a lifetime opportunity and I can’t give it up early just because I’m homesick. Granny agreed with her and said I’m not allowed to come home until the show’s done filming this season, so I’ll be staying!
Leslie: That’s wonderful news! I do have to ask, was this any of our doing?
Diane: How would it be our doing?
Leslie: This is a cast of liars and schemers. Did someone call her daughter and grandmother up and tell them to encourage her to stay?
Sam: You think we paid them off or threatened them or something? You’re nuts!
Leslie: I can’t ever put anything past this group.
Charlotte: It’s a good point.
Melanie: All I know is that’s what they said, and I’ll trust that that’s how they really feel. I’ll be staying, and I can’t wait to see out this adventure with all of you!
Jacqueline: So all the time I spent yesterday on the phone with the network trying to get a new PA to fly in was done in vain?
Diane: She never submitted a letter or resignation, nothing was official.
Leslie: Jacqueline, are you so allergic to doing bit of extra work that you’d rather fly someone in with only two weeks left of work?
Jacqueline: Absolutely. Look at these French tips, these hands are not made for manual labor.
Sam: The socialists are right, we do need to eat the rich. Good lord.
Jacqueline: You're richer than I am.
Sam: At least I don't act like it.
What did you think of this episode of Bake Your Heart Out? Let us know in the comments and make sure to read the new episode next week!
