The group is at dinner in Belgium.
Diane: Isn’t is incredible how many places we’ve all been able to see together because of this trip?
Frances: Yeah, going around the world with Garry sure was on my bucket list.
Diane: Come on, you have to admit it’s been fun!
Sam: This place sure hasn’t been. How does a restaurant in Belgium not have waffles?
Leslie: Well, because we’re eating dinner.
Sam: I have breakfast for dinner plenty of times. Something wrong with that?
Leslie: There’s nothing wrong with it, but don’t expect gourmet restaurants to be serving waffles at six at night.
Melanie: It’s only six? It feels much later.
Charlotte: That’s because we’re used to eating much later. For once, we’re early.
Diane: We had less flying than usual today. Only about an hour in the air, that’s practically nothing.
Garry: We actually somewhat had the day to ourselves, it was really nice.
Sam: Yet, we missed breakfast, and I didn’t get my waffles.
Diane: We’re here for a week.
Sam: I want them now!
Diane: Excuse her, everyone. Planes make her cranky.
Garry: What doesn’t make her cranky?
Sam: Garry, shut up!
Garry: Will do.
Charlotte: I don’t know how you look at this menu and wish you could be ordering waffles instead. I can’t make up my mind of what I want.
Sam: That’s because you’re British, any food sounds good in comparison to the slop you’re used to eating. Dog food would be better than beans on toast!
Charlotte: You are so miserable when you don’t get your way.
Leslie: This is not news to anyone!
Frances: In spite of all this, I do have to agree that this trip actually has been a blast. I never would’ve seen half the stuff I’ve seen this year if I was left to my own volition. I barely ever left California, let alone the United States.
Charlotte: It’s hard to believe it’s almost over. Back to the grind of LA for all of us.
Sam: We have such tough lives, being rich and famous and adored by millions.
Charlotte: I didn’t imply that, it’s just always sad when a journey ends.
Garry: There’s still a month left, lots of memories to be made!
Sam: God, another month with you people?
Diane: Sam, cut the snark and read the menu.
Sam: Yes, boss.
Later that night…
Leslie: All right, guys, today was a fun day, but let’s all get some rest tonight. We have a taping tomorrow and I don’t need everyone looking tired and sluggish like last week!
Charlotte: That wasn’t our fault. Who can go to bed early while in Paris?
Leslie: Professionals.
Frances: I don’t like that insinuation.
Leslie: I’m not insinuating anything. I’m outright saying that you’re all very unprofessional sometimes.
Diane: We do need to be ready to get out of here early tomorrow, though. We need to get Sam her previous waffles.
Leslie: No need to worry, that’s one of this week’s challenges on the show!
Sam: The contestants are making waffles? What has this show come to?
Leslie: You were whining all last night about not being able to eat them for dinner!
Sam: Yeah, but waffles aren’t exactly a complex thing to bake.
Diane: Sam, just stop whining.
Sam: I don’t want to.
Frances: We’re aware.
Garry: All right, we’re off to bed.
Carly: Yeah, Garry needs his beauty sleep on the eve of a taping. Needs to look good for the camera!
Sam: Well it isn’t working, so he can stop trying.
Charlotte: I’m going, too. My room is so nice that I want to spend some time in it.
Frances: What a braggart.
Charlotte: My room is barely any nicer than yours!
Frances: Don’t worry, when I get the penthouse suite when we’re in Greece, I’ll make sure to rub it in just as much as you do.
Charlotte: Jeez, you can’t even compliment a hotel anymore around here without people getting offended!
Melanie: I quite content with any room I get. All of these rooms are nicer than my house back in Rhode Island.
Frances: To be fair, though, them being larger than the 300 square feet that make up Rhode Island has to be a big part of why you feel that way.
Leslie: I’ll see you guys tomorrow, okay? Again, don’t stay up too late.
Diane: She keeps saying that, I’m starting to worry about how bad we’ve looked on the last few shows.
Leslie: Nothing we can’t edit out! Technology’s amazing!
Frances: I’ll have you know, the dark circles under my eyes are a genetic condition so you making fun of them is ableist behavior!
Leslie: Did you just learn that word?
Frances: Yes, Melanie taught me.
Melanie: I apologize. It won’t happen again.
Frances: Aww, I like learning the lingo of the kids!
Melanie: I don’t mind teaching it to you, but not when you embarrass me like this.
Later that night, Leslie’s phone rings.
Leslie: Oh my god, Paul! You scared me!
Paul: I hope it’s not too late over there.
Leslie: I was in bed.
Paul: I am so sorry! I can call you back tomorrow.
Leslie: No, just say what you want now. I wasn’t sleeping anyway, I was just watching TV. Did you know they’ve got a channel running Friends all day in Belgium, too? It’s inescapable.
Paul: I’ll make it quick so you can get back to the Friends.
Leslie: No, you can take as long as you need. I’ve seen this episode plenty.
Paul: I just got out of a meeting with the other executives.
Leslie: Budget cuts? I guess I can fire Garry but he’s gonna be heartbroken.
Paul: No, no! It’s not budget cuts. Also, you’d fire Garry first?
Leslie: Wouldn’t you?
Paul: I suppose.
Leslie: So what did you talk about in your meeting that required a call to me? Clearly the show was brought up.
Paul: It was. This season is doing phenomenally, as you know.
Leslie: Yes, you text me the ratings and I pretend to know what they mean every single week.
Paul: Well, it’s easy. The 18-49 demog-
Leslie: Paul, I don’t really care. You say it’s doing well, good enough for me.
Paul: It’s doing so well that the other executives are wondering about your plans for next season already.
Leslie: We’re going to have people bake pastries and cakes and then the judges will eliminate the worst one each week.
Paul: Is the sarcasm needed?
Leslie: Well I’m not sure what you mean by “plans.”
Paul: The world tour is extremely popular. People are loving getting to see you all explore international cuisine while you travel the globe.
Leslie: You want us to do another season of this?
Paul: It’s up to you, but the ratings are telling a clear story. This is your highest-rated season ever, you’re up over six percent in the demo from your last highest-rated season a few years back.
Leslie: I can tell which way you’re leaning.
Paul: I’m not the one uprooting my life and traveling all over the world. This is not my decision at all. It’s up to you and the cast.
Leslie: You’re not going to be disappointed if we want to return to the US?
Paul: I won’t pressure you into doing anything. We do need a verdict soon, though.
Leslie: Already?
Paul: Filming abroad costs a lot more than filming in that studio in Rhode Island. We need to know if that money is free for us to spend on other shows or if your show is going to need it.
Leslie: All right, give me some time to decide.
Paul: That’s fine. Just let me know by the weekend. You don’t even have to call if you’re worried about the time zone difference, just text me the decision. Make sure everyone is content with whatever you decide, though! I don’t need any of those insane people in your cast calling me up to complain.
Leslie: That doesn’t sound like them.
Paul: All right, I’m gonna let you go so you can get to sleep. Talk soon!
Leslie: Talk soon!
The next morning, at breakfast…
Diane: You finally happy? You got your waffles.
Sam: I’m very happy, yes.
Garry: They live up to your expectations?
Sam: They’re beyond my wildest dreams.
Garry: I’m glad!
Sam: You better be.
Melanie: Leslie, you look exhausted.
Frances: Guess she didn’t take her own advice about going to bed early!
Charlotte: She’s not on camera anyway, no one cares what she looks like.
Leslie: Thank you, Charlotte.
Charlotte: No problem.
Diane: Why do you look so exhausted, though? You went up to your room early last night, you should’ve gotten plenty of sleep. Are you ill?
Leslie: I’m fine, just have a lot on my mind.
Sam: How much can you have on your mind? We’re basically on vacation.
Leslie: We’re working. We’re filming the highest-rated show on TV.
Sam: We east cake and donuts all day. What a tough job!
Leslie: That;’s what you guys do, Melanie and I have actual jobs.
Melanie: Exactly! I… take the leftover cakes and donuts and make sure they’re donated to a homeless shelter or some place for the needy. You know how hard it is to track down a new place that takes baked good donations in a different city in a different country every week? Pretty hard!
Sam: All I’m trying to say is you shouldn’t be stressing so much over this show.
Leslie: I wouldn’t expect you to understand.
Frances: Are you keeping secrets from us?
Leslie: No. Now, can we take the focus off of me?
Garry: Let’s talk about the show today! Are we excited -
Sam: To work? No!
Charlotte: Did you not just imply that the show isn’t really work?
Sam: Don’t put words in my mouth, British lady.
Charlotte: You said them a minute ago! Did she not? Am I going crazy?
Diane: No, she’s gaslighting you.
Sam: I would never!
Diane: You’re doing it right now!
Leslie: So how are we liking Belgium?
Frances: I’ve heard their waffles are really good! Would be nice to be able to eat them without having to experience a reenactment of Kramer vs Kramer, but you gotta take the bad with the good.
Garry: I’m feeling a bit gassed out, to be honest.
Sam: She told you to go to bed early last night! Some of you people never listen.
Garry: I mean in general. All this traveling is really wearing me down.
Frances: I get what he means.
Melanie: Oh, I do too. It’s so nice to see all these countries, but I feel like we don’t get any time to rest. The urge to see everything we can while we’re here and live in the moment overrides the rational desire to relax and recover from all this travel.
Leslie: So you guys are ready to go home?
Diane: Not me! I’m so glad we have this time together. I have no desire to go home to my lonely house on the beach where no one ever visits me.
Sam: That is the saddest Carol Burnett sendoff I’ve ever heard.
Leslie: So who is actually enjoying all this traveling? Just Diane?
Charlotte: Someone’s quite inquisitive today!
Garry: I’ve been enjoying seeing all these countries, it’s just a lot of going, going, going.
Frances: None of us are exactly “young” anymore. We burn out pretty easily now.
Charlotte: Speak for yourself!
Frances: You qualify for AARP in the United States, you’re not young.
Carly: Everyone seems to be in a fantastic mood this morning.
Sam: Yeah, we actually have to work. We don’t get to just wander around Brussels like… some people.
Carly: Garry, are you going to just let her talk to me like that?
Garry: I’m scared of her, so… yeah.
Carly: Couch. Tonight.
Diane: You walked right into that one, my friend.
The next day, on the set…
Diane: Jacqueline?
Jacqueline: Yes?
Diane: Don’t let Leslie know I asked you this… is something the matter with her?
Jacqueline: What ever do you mean?
Diane: She seems… distracted lately. Like she’s not really fully invested in what we’re discussing. I think she’s got something major on her mind, but I can’t for the life of me figure out what.
Jacqueline: I haven’t noticed anything, but I spend less time with her than any of you do, so you’re more likely to notice that something’s amiss.
Diane: So she’s not mentioned anything concerning to you?
Jacqueline: No, but I doubt she’d confide in me before any of you, anyway.
Diane: I thought maybe because you’re less close, she’d be less nervous opening up to you.
Jacqueline: Maybe she’s just been thinking about what Paul asked her.
Diane: Paul? She didn’t even mention Paul to us. Is something wrong at the network? Are we canceled? Is Garry fired?
Jacqueline: No! Your ratings are fantastic! He just wants to know the filming plans for next year, if we’re going to do another international season or if you guys are headed back to the States. He asked her a few days ago, I think perhaps she’s been trying to figure out an answer on that.
Diane: Oh! Makes sense.
Jacqueline: I wouldn’t worry about her if I were you. Whatever it is, it’s surely nothing concerning. Just focus on eating all these pastries, that’s what we pay you the big bucks for.
Diane: I think we’re done with that for the week, unfortunately. Time to send someone home.
Jacqueline: I think there are plenty left over for you to grab if you want.
Diane: My waistline wouldn’t like that very much.
Diane walks over to the others.
Sam: Why were you talking to her? Did you do something wrong and she called you over like she’s the principal?
Diane: I’m trying to figure out what’s wrong with Leslie.
Frances: I don’t think there’s really anything wrong, she’s just a little cranky.
Diane: Jacqueline said Paul asked Leslie about whether we’re going to film the next season internationally again or if we’re going back to America for the next season.
Sam: Oh.
Diane: Oh? This is major news!
Garry: Forgive my ignorance… how is it major?
Diane: We may not be getting any say in where we film the next season. This is where we’re spending roughly half the year! I think we deserve a say.
Charlotte: Just give her time, don’t get all nutty like you do.
Diane: When do I ever get nutty?
Sam: That’s a good one, Diane!
Leslie: Gang, we’re ready to film the results!
Garry: Oh my god, we didn’t decide who’s going home yet.
Frances: Alex’s waffles were misshapen and mushy and his mattentaart was underbaked. It’s him.
Garry: I thought Marcus did pretty poorly as well.
Frances: At least you could eat what he made.
Garry: I suppose you’re right.
Charlotte: I like that Frances just bullied Garry into going along with what she wanted.
Frances: It’s too easy!
Garry: Now I want Marcus to go.
Sam: No! You are not dragging this out with your stubbornness. Charlotte, who do you want to go? Whoever you say, that’s who’s gone.
Charlotte: Alex.
Diane: I thought you guys were supposed to have deliberated this on camera. How did you not make your minds up already?
Frances: We did, but we never came to an definitive decision on who was going. Clearly we were both on different wavelengths. Thankfully, I was on the correct one.
One hour later…
Diane: Leslie, I have a question.
Sam: Here we go.
Leslie: What’s up, Diane?
Diane: I know you talked to Paul, Jacqueline told me. Why didn’t you ask us for input on whether to do another international season or not?
Leslie: I was trying to decide how I felt about it. I didn’t want to open up a debate about it without having a strong feeling on it myself. Not to mention, everyone seems a bit wiped out by all the traveling right now, so I don’t know if now’s the best time to ask you to do more. Don’t worry, I’d never agree to it without asking you guys.
Charlotte: So, how do you feel about another season?
Leslie: Well, as much as I’d like to not be stuck with Jacqueline anymore, I think another international season could be fun. It is a lot of traveling, though.
Charlotte: I agree.
Diane: I have an idea.
Frances: Here she goes again.
Diane: What if we travel the United States instead? Our country’s so unique and has so many cultures, we can go to states that are known for having great food. It’s less travel, less wear on our bodies, and it’s a new gimmick they can use to promote the show.
Frances: I actually like that idea.
Leslie: That would be good. It should cut the budget, too. That’s less pressure for us.
Melanie: I don’t know if I get a say in this, but I think that’s smart, too.
Leslie: Show of hands, who likes that idea?
Sam: Garry!
Garry: I liked seeing the whole world.
Sam: Everyone but Garry agrees, that’s good enough.
Leslie: Yeah, I agree, this is what we’ll do.
Garry: If we’re not going to travel internationally anymore after this season, then let’s go see all of Belgium that we can.
Sam: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Always the whining with you.
What did you think of this episode of Bake Your Heart Out? Let us know in the comments and make sure to read the new episode next week!
