The Bullpen Season 7 Episode 2: Primitives Pre-Game

 

All bullpen members are in the outdoor area of the Indianapolis Primitives’ bullpen. It is late afternoon, and the stadium is practically empty. 


LORENZO

Wonder why the fans or players aren’t here yet, the game should have started half an hour ago. 


ACE

Yeah it’s 5:34 right now and the game was supposed to start a little after 5. 


CARTER

No it’s not, it starts at 7.


DEVIN

Then why are we all here?


CARTER

To get ahead of the curve, practice our pitching early. Which we haven’t exactly done yet, but we’re getting to it.


LORENZO

You tricked us into getting here early?


CARTER

Yep. Honestly not sure how it worked on you given you’re the coach. 


LORENZO

Yeah in hindsight that was pretty naive of me.


BRYAN

Well I don’t feel like just sitting here until the game starts. I’m going to the indoor bullpen to watch some TV. Who’s with me?


DAVE

I’m going there to warm up. You never know when they might need me.


VICTOR

Same here.


DAVE

They won’t need you.


VICTOR

You never know, game could be a blowout.


Everyone walks down to the indoor bullpen area. DAVE walks up to a warm-up mound and has CARTER catch for him. MANNY turns on the TV as everyone else watches it. 


MANNY

Guess they’re doing the pre-game coverage. 


ROBERT

Oh, Primitives Pre-Game? I haven’t been able to watch that in forever!


HARRY squints.


HARRY

Who’s that guy walking around behind the talking heads?


ROBERT

Some vendor. Probably selling beer or whatever.


HARRY

What are we doing hanging around here when there’s beer out there?


FELIX

Harry I don’t think that’s a good idea.


HARRY

I’ll be back with beer. Wouldn’t you like for me to have some on hand for the game?


HARRY leaves.


FELIX

This is nothing but trouble.


DEVIN

Keeps him busy anyway.


They continue to watch the pre-game coverage as they find HARRY purchase beer from the vendor. Half an hour goes by and he still has not returned. CARTER is now warming up with DAVE catching, while everyone else is still watching Primitives Pre-Game.


MANNY

You guys think Harry got lost?


LORENZO

He’s probably just touring the stadium. 


MANNY

Yeah. Because he’s lost.


BRYAN

Quiet everyone, Harry’s on TV!


Everyone quiets down and looks at the TV. CARTER and DAVE walk over.


TALKING HEAD

We are now joined by a fan of the Primitives who’s going to provide his commentary on tonight’s game, what’s your name Sir?


HARRY

Harold, longtime fan and season-ticket holder baby! WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!


Everyone in the bullpen looks confused as HARRY slurs his words.


TALKING HEAD

Harold I have one question for you: what do you think of the Primitives’ bullpen?


HARRY continues to slur his words, clearly drunk.


HARRY

You know…the bullpen, they can’t tell their asses from a hole in the ground. But I don’t know what’s worse: the pitching or the coaching. Just…


HARRY giggles.


TALKING HEAD

Okay thank you for your insight Harold, please nobody serve this man any more beer.


TALKING HEAD 2

Hey, he wasn’t wrong.


TALKING HEAD

He wasn’t wrong indeed. 


MANNY shuts off the TV.


MANNY

That couldn’t have gone any worse.


LORENZO

Relax, who even watches Primitives Pre-Game anyway?


ACE

I sure hope you’re right Lorenzo.


LORENZO

Trust me, it’ll be fine. Just focus on tonight’s game.


HARRY returns to the bullpen.


BRYAN

Harry, I see you forgot the beer.


HARRY

OOPS! Forgot. Drank it all…whoops. 


DAVE

Well the game’s about to begin. Hopefully this all washes over by the time I pitch. 

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