The Princess Royal Season 2 Finale - The Royal Wedding

The Princess Royal Season 2, Episode 11
The Royal Wedding

Olivia, Fred, Todd and Norah are sitting in a car outside Gigi’s London apartment.

Olivia: That daughter or mine better get moving. I don’t know how many times I can listen to Ronnie Specter’s Sleigh Ride before I go clinically bonkers.

Todd: She’s getting ready for a wedding, this might be another hour or two.

Fred: She isn’t that bad. Right?

Todd” She has to look “picture perfect,” as if anyone at the wedding will be paying any attention to her.

Norah: That’s her right. We all want to look good when we’re in public.

Olivia: Oh, look, Warren’s here!

Warren: I’m sorry, guys. She’ll be right out.

Fred: It’s no problem.

Olivia: There's a lot of traffic today because of the wedding, it’ll be a problem if she’s not down soon.

Fred: We will get to Buckingham Palace in time, don’t worry.

Olivia: Do you know the hell I will get from my mother if I’m late for this?

Fred: The wedding doesn’t begin for another four hours.

Olivia: Yes, and getting there less than two hours early is considered dreadfully late.

Warren: She just needs to find her shoes, so this should actually be quite fast.

Todd (singing): Christmas! The snow’s coming down!

Olivia: Don’t tell her Todd’s singing. She’ll never come down.

Thirty minutes later…

Eleanor: Oh, you’re early!

Fred: Early?

Eleanor: I’m quite taken aback by it, but yes. No one else is even here. They should file in in about a half-hour.

Gigi: All that yelling in the car about being late, and this is the result.

Nathan: I am here, and I appreciate all of you being here, as well.

Olivia: Nowhere else we’d rather be.

Gigi: Be honest, Nathan. Your stomach much be in knots.

Nathan: I’m marrying the most beautiful woman in the world, I’m terrified.

Gigi: Second-most.

Todd: It’s going to be one heck of a day, though. Who else can say Elton John performed at their wedding reception?

Nathan: Every member of the family dating back to mum and dad.

Olivia: Yes, but you’re the first to hear him perform Step Into Christmas!

Todd: Not every member! He wasn’t at mine!

Nathan: Well…

Gigi: Elton only performs at weddings he’ll think think will last. Yours collapsed. Maybe when you and the Prime Minister’s Daughter marry, he’ll sing something. May I suggest the Bitch Is Back?

Olivia: If his mum-in-law is about to be Meredith Trayman, I’d suggest Funeral For a Friend. Maybe Cold Heart?

Fred: I love Dua Lipa!

Gigi: We know.

Eleanor: Maybe we should watch Love Actually while we wait.

Norah: You guys watch movies?

Eleanor: What do you think we are, freaks? You think we sit here in silence with our thoughts?

Olivia: Look at her mother. Maybe Norah thinks that having thoughts is a pretty unique and special thing.

Norah: You know, she’s going to be here today.

Olivia: Nathan! Why?

Nathan: This is an occasion for national unity.

Eleanor: I’m so proud of you. You have become such an admirable, accomplished you man. I can’t wait to see you start a family of your own.

Nathan: Gran, you’re going rot make my cry and it’s not even nine yet.

Eleanor: Don’t tell anyone, but you were always my fa-

Anthony: We’re here!

Arthur: Claire and I got here first, uncle Anthony asked us to help bring in the wedding gift.

Eleanor: You know where that was going, right?

Nathan: Yes, granny.

Eleanor: Good!

Olivia: Anthony, the two of us getting here early absolutely terrifies me! How’d this happen?

Anthony: Dumb luck?

Claire: Where are Claude and Christine, by the way? It’s not like them to not be down here yet.

Eleanor: There was some sort of issue, they’re sorting it out. Nothing to fear.

Claire: Glad it’s nothing serious.

Nathan: Nothing to fear? Granny, the bishop is in hospital.

Eleanor: And he is expected to survive. Nothing to fear!

Olivia: They’re trying to find a replacement? That’s handing too much power over to them. 

Gigi: I a ordained, just so everyone’s aware.

Claire: Now that would be funny!

Gigi: Funny, iconic, depends on who you ask.

Nathan: I’ll have to pass on that, Gigi. Hope you can understand.

Gigi: I know it’s not my fault, or ever yours. Very rigid rules in this family.

Todd: Maybe we can get Elton John to do it, since you’re all so tight with him.

Gigi: Are you still up in arms over that?

Eleanor: They are handling it, and we can relax. No need to stress when we have such a long day ahead of us.

Gigi: Speaking of long day, Nathan, where’s Alicia?

Nathan: Oh, not here! It’s bad luck to see the bride before the wedding.

Todd: I don’t believe in that!

Gigi:  You’re in the middle of a divorce! Who would listen to you on this? Might as well ask Liz Taylor.

Eleanor: None of you seem to be savoring this day. The magic of a wedding fills my heart with joy. There’s no time for silly squabbling.

Olivia: Would it really be this family without silly squabbling?

Twenty minutes later…

Ethan: All right, I have arrived. Let’s light this candle.

Olivia: Sit down. We can’t go anywhere without His Majesty.

Ethan: Olivia! You beat me here?

Claire: She beat us here as well.

Arthur: In nearly went into cardiac arrest over it.

Olivia: I’m not late that often!

Selina: The real news here is she beat Claude here. Where’s he at?

Arthur: Upstairs, dilly-dallying.

Olivia: Even Mandy beat Claude here! Mandy!

Mandy: What was that?

Olivia: I said your dress looks beautiful!

Mandy: You want to caress my shoulder? That’s weird to say.

Olivia: Mum, have you tried hearing aids for her?

Eleanor: This is with hearing aids.

Olivia: Well, it’s good she’s here with guys at all.

Christine: Look, Claude, everyone’s arrived!

Norah: Your majesty.

Claude: Oh, you don’t have to do that, Ms… have we met?

Todd: Yes. Multiple times. This is my girlfriend, Norah Trayman.

Claude: Ah, yes.

Nathan: Papa, have you found a new bishop?

Claude: Of course! Everything is back on track.

Gigi: And is it me?

Claude: Since when are you a bishop?

Todd: She’s not, she’s just a bitch.

Gigi: Using gendered language like that is not a good look! And in the company of so many respectable ladies, no less.

Eleanor: Now that we’re all here, shall we head to Westminster?

Fred: I was promised Love Actually.

Nathan: You’re going to get to actually see a ceremony of love. Is that not better?

Fred: I’m not going to get to see that for at least two more hours. Plenty of time for a movie.

Eleanor: So I see we’re all ready to go! Shall we?

Olivia: I’ve been ready.

Anthony: She gets here early one time and she’ll never let us forget it.

Olivia: I got here early when it counted! You get here early when it doesn’t. I win.

One hour later…

Alicia: Thank you for coming!

Olivia: Is it not bad luck for the groom’s aunt and cousin to see the bride before her wedding?

Alicia: Don’t think that’s a thing.

Olivia: Well, it should be.

Gigi: Whaddaya need us for? We are happy to help in whatever way you see fit.

Alicia: I don’t feel comfortable telling this to anyone else.

Olivia: You want to back out of the marriage? I understand, I wouldn’t join this family voluntarily either.

Alicia: It’s not that. I seem to have misplaced the tiara.

Olivia: Well, you’d better find it.

Veronica: We’ve looked everywhere for it.

Olivia: So, the bishop keeled over and the tiara is missing. Does anyone else think this may be a sign? You can still escape this!

Alicia: I don’t want to escape! I want to be married to Nathan. Only him,

Gigi: Aww, that’s sweet. The feeling dies eventually.

Olivia: Where did you last see the tiara?

Veronica: It was carried in with the rest of her outfit. It was supposed to stay with the veil.

Olivia: Clearly it has, to paraphrase Fleetwood Mac, gone its own way.

Alicia: To also paraphrase Fleetwood Mac, it is not making loving fun.

Olivia: Seriously though, it didn’t just walk away. Where could it have gone?

Gigi: What if it was stolen?

Veronica: I bet it was the Queen. She’s made it quite apparent that she’s against this marriage.

Olivia: My mother loves your daughter.

Veronica: Not that queen.

Olivia: Oh… do not call Christine the “queen.” The only thing she’s the “queen” of is mean. 

Gigi: The only Queen Christine I recognize is McVie!

Veronica: She’s my prime suspect.

Alicia: Mother, this isn’t an episode of Murder, She Wrote. I doubt someone stole it.

Gigi: You think too highly of this family.

There is a knock at the door.

Alicia: Oh, god. Are they ready to start already?

Olivia: As someone who just saw how many people are yet to arrive, I’m certain they’re not starting any time soon.

Selina: Alicia, open the door.

Alicia: Um… in America we have a superstition that it’s bad luck for the groom’s aunt to see the bride before her wedding. Can’t open up, sorry!

Olivia (whispering): Smart girl!

Selina: I have something I believe is of interest to you!

Alicia: Can you describe that thing?

Selina: It is a tiara. Your wedding tiara.

Alicia: That is of interest to me.

Selina: Are you willing to risk the bad luck so I can hand it off to you?

Alicia: I suppose.

Alicia cracks the door open.

Selina: Here you go.

Alicia: Can I ask where you found it?

Selina: On the floor.

Alicia: Must have been stopped when they were bringing it and the dress in. Glad it was found now.

Selina: Just try to get yourself ready. Everyone’s getting antsy. Well, the ones that are here are. The others don’t matter much, do they?

Veronica: We have a half-hour until the listed start time, we will begin then.

Selina: Very well then. See you in a half-hour, no later!

Selina leaves and closes the door behind her.

Olivia: There’s one crisis averted!

Alicia: You two should head to your seats, then. I don’t want to be any more of a bother for you.

Olivia: You’re never a bother, darling. You’re one of the kindest members of this family, I’ll aways be here for you. And yes, you are a member of this family now, whether you want to be or not.

Alicia: Thank you, so much. It’s good to know I have one person in my corner.

Gigi: And also me!

Olivia: Gigi, you’re acting like a real Todd today.

Gigi: How dare you?

Ten minutes later…

Fred: What was that about?

Olivia: Oh, nothing. My new niece just wanted my advice, with all my wisdom.

Todd: Mother, did you know they were inviting Margo?

Olivia: I did not, but what a lovely surprise!

Todd: I am seated between my ex-wife and my girlfriend!

Margo: Hey, this isn’t my dream situation, either. I’m here to support my friend.

Todd: I didn’t realize you and Nathan were so close.

Margo: We were family for nearly twenty years. You form a bond in that time. I want to be here for his wedding, and he wanted me here.

Norah: Hi Margo! How are you?

Margo: I’m wonderful, sweetheart. I hope you’re also well.

Ethan: Is the choir going to keep singing Christmas songs during the wedding? It’s already decorated like it’s the wedding of Santa and Mrs. Claus, I don’t think Alicia needs to come down the aisle to O Tannenbaum.

Claire: I’m assuming not. I wasn’t involved in the music selections.

Arthur: Thank god, she’d walk to aisle to the Spice Girls if that were the case.

Claire: They’re the greatest music group of our time. Of any time.

Gigi: I think Sporty is here. Or maybe Baby. I don’t know, I can’t tell the difference.

Claire: This is why I love weddings.

Meredith: Hello! Where is His Majesty the King?

Eleanor: He’s otherwise preoccupied. What do you need, madam Prime Minister?

Meredith: Your majesty, I was wondering if I could get a different seat. The one I have now is not working for me.

Eleanor: Sure, pick one random member of the family to send to the back of the Abbey so you can get front row seating like you’re at a Rolling Stones concert.

Norah: Hi mum!

Meredith: I pick Norah.

Eleanor: I was joking! Lord!

Norah: Why was my name invoked?=

Meredith: No reason, ignore it. All is well.

Todd: She wanted to send you to a worse seat so she got a better view.

Meredith: It’s not as bad as it seems.

Norah: Seems pretty bad.

Olivia: Oh, I love the drama of a royal wedding!

Fred: The choir singing Carol of the Bells in the background really heightens the drama. It’s like a Christmas film.

Christine: Hush! It’s starting!

Eleanor: Why are they singing Joy to the World?

Christine: Nathan and Alicia wanted a Christmas wedding. This is what that entails.

Olivia: I’d have worn red and green if I knew that was the intention.

Christine: The music choice was last-minute. Apparently they just realized a few days ago that Christmas was approaching.

Olivia: Oh, to be young, in love, and ignorant.

Fred: We’re still two of those things, no?

Olivia: We are not young.

Fred: I was referring to the ignorance.

Olivia: Don’t make me hit you while the world’s eye is on us.

Later that night, at the reception…

Norah: My mother is going to be so jealous that I got to come to this and she didn’t.

Olivia: You get to see us let loose. Apologies in advance.

Eleanor: Quiet, Nathan’s about to make a speech.

Nathan: Closest family and friends, thank you for joining us on this special day. It means so much to the both of us that we were able to celebrate our love with all of you.

Alicia: We don’t really have much else to say, besides, please enjoy our first dance.

Fred: I wonder to which Christmas song this will set.

Alicia: AllI Want for Christmas Is You!

Fred: Of course.

Olivia: I’m going to get you out on that dance floor!

Fred: Like hell you will!

Eleanor: I’ll dance with you.

Olivia: Well, that should be funny at least.

Claude: I’m so proud.

Olivia: Of me and mum?

Christine: Of our son?

Claude: Of me! 

Anthony: Oh, Claude, always so conceited.

Ethan: And you aren’t?

Arthur: At least father is the king.

Anthony: Okay, that was not an invitation to roast me.

Claude: I’m proud of how well this wedding all came together. It was quite stressful, but I was able to give Nathan a nice wedding day.

Veronica: You’re welcome!

Claude: Ah! Where’d you come from?

Veronica: Your nightmares.

Arthur: She’s not real, dad, she can’t hurt you.

Olivia: This is what family is all about.

Claude: Is it?

Olivia: What is better than joking around with family and making memories together?

Claude: Being able to close my eyes without feating my son’s mother-in-law is going to appear behind me.

Olivia: Looks like they’re done dancing. Fred…

Fred: No Christmas dancing for me.

Eleanor: The offer’s still valid, dear.

Olivia: What the hay, it’s a wedding day. Let’s go cut a rug to Mariah Carey, mum.

Todd: When is Elton John showing up?

Christine: An hour. Takes the old chap quite a while to get from one [place to another these days.

Olivia: Sounds like Claude!

Nathan: Get out here, everyone! We’re waiting!

Eleanor: They’re waiting.

Olivia: When in Rome…

What did you think of the season finale of The Princess Royal? Let us know in the comments and make sure to read the Evergreen Aimee holiday special next Sunday!

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