The family is at a restaurant in Richmond.
Teri: Wow, we’re actually at a nice restaurant! I can hardly believe my eyes!
Betty: We go to nice restaurants!
Teri: Do we?
Cindy: You know what? She’s right. Every time we go to a fancy restaurant, we leave her home. I get why she feels this way.
Teri: I don’t appreciate the snark.
Jerry: You can all thank Serena for this night out, she gave me a gift card for Thanksgiving and said it’s the best place in town.
Cindy: Good for Serena.
Jerry: You seem bitter.
Cindy: I’m tired of you acting like she knows all. You don’t take my restaurant recommendations so seriously.
Jerry: We went to Red Lobster when you suggested it, no?
Velma: I sincerely hope that we get to hear this argument for the entire time we have to sit here waiting to be seated.
Danielle: I’m going to go to the bar.
Tammi: You can’t go to the bar first, this isn’t Olive Garden.
Danielle: So I have to sit here and wait?
Tammi: You sure do.
Danielle: God, I’m ready. You can take me now.
Karl: Oh, it won’t be that bad!
Ninety minutes later…
Frank: You know what? I’m getting really tired of this. We’ve been here what, two hours?
Betty: And somehow, your talking is still the most annoying part of my day so far.
Jerry: Maybe I can go talk to the hostess or something.
Frank: No, I will. You’re tiptoeing around it because Serena likes this place and you’re afraid you’ll get banned and your gift card will be useless.
Teri: Frank’s gonna take charge. Should be funny.
Tammi: I believe in you, honey!
Frank: Thank you! It’s good to have one person in my corner.
Betty: One more than there should be.
Frank walks over to the hostess.
Frank: Excuse me! We have been here almost two hours, no one has updated us, apparently we’re just supposed to be expected to accept this. It’s rude!
Hostess: Sir, I’m sorry, we are working on seating everyone as quickly as possible.
Frank: Let me be frank here: this is the worst I have ever been treated in a restaurant. Everyone working here needs a lesson in public relations. You don’t leave your customers hanging like this. I don’t expect to be given VIP treatment, but I expect to be given enough respect to be informed that it would take longer to be seated than the original twenty minute estimate. This is disgraceful.
Hostess: Would you like to speak with my manager?
Frank: I’d like that, yes. He needs to know how shabby this place is being run.
Hostess: I am the manager.
Frank: Uh…
Ten minutes later…
Frank: Well, we got banned.
Danielle: At least we get to go home. Right?
Betty: Nice going, Frank! I think they were going to seat us sometime in the next hour or two! You ruined it!
Jerry: Cindy, pick a new restaurant for us.
Cindy: Oh, I’m good enough now?
Jerry: You get one shot, don’t you blow it because you wanna get snarky!
The next day, Steven and Alysa are in his room.
Steven: Hey, Lys, come check this out.
Tammi: I don’t know what you’re asking her to check out, but put it away!
Steven: Mom! Why are you outside my room?
Tammi: The door was closed.
Steven: I must have bumped it, sorry.
Alysa: We were just looking at TikTok.
Tammi: Is that what teens do nowadays when they’re dating? That makes me sad.
Steven: Mom, look at this TikTok!
Tammi: I don’t like TikTok, they’re spying on me.
Steven: Just look at it!
Tammi: Why would you post this? You know your father us shy.
Steven: Well, that isn’t true.
Alysa: Steven didn’t post it, a popular TikToker did, Sammy Darlington.
Tammi: That name means nothing to me, but how do we get this off?
Alysa: Eight million people have seen it already in the four hours it’s been on here.
Tammi: Message him.
Steven: Message Sammy Darlington?
Tammi: Yeah! He’s not the Queen of England!
Steven: For one, he’s alive.
Tammi: He is a mere mortal, like the rest of us.
Steven: He came in fourth place on Dancing with the Stars!
Tammi: Fourth? You know who else placed fourth on Dancing With the Stars?
Steven: No, who?
Tammi: Exactly! It’s not even worth mentioning. Message him, get this down.
Steven: Can I show dad first? He might find some humor in it.
Tammi: I suppose.
Steven: Lys, I’ll be right back. I have to show this to my dad before I insult an internet superstar.
Steven walks out to the living room.
Steven: Hey, dad!
Frank: Hello, son! Always good to talk.
Teri: He’s surprised his own son is even willing to speak with him. It’s a bit sad.
Steven: Take at look at this, dad.
Tammi: It’s awful, I’m sorry honey!
Frank: Where is this from?
Steven: You’re TikTok famous!
Betty: Tic Tac? Those things are nasty.
Ralph: I thought all old people liked those.
Teri: You would know.
Ralph: I am eleven years older than you!
Teri: That’s a long time!
Frank: Me? Famous? Why… I’m honored.
Tammi: Honored? You look like a loon!
Betty: Nothing new about that.
Frank: It’s a funny video.
Cindy: It’s just you yelling at a last at the restaurant from last night.
Steven: They’re calling you a “Male Karen.”
Teri: So let me get this straight - Frank got famous online for verbally accosting an underpaid service worker? Sounds about right to me.
Frank: She deserved it! you all told me so last night.
Karl: It was a frustrating experience, but the response was slightly over-the-top. I don’t think this is a great look for you.
Frank: I’m going to capitalize on this. I’m going to make my own TikTok page and start a website, maybe even sell merchandise.
Teri: Look at Frank. He’s in one viral TikTok and he thinks he’s Charli D’Amelio.
Tammi: Now him I’ve heard of!
Steven: Her. Charli D’Amelio is a girl.
Tammi: I said I heard of her, not that I’ve ever seen her before.
Jerry: A girl named Charli? This country…
Frank: You guys can judge all you want, but this is one of the most incredible things to ever happen to me. I, Frank, have become internet famous!
Danielle: I have to be honest, you’re not someone I would have expected to care about being famous.
Tammi: Are you joking? He loves the attention, don’t let him fool you.
Danielle: I didn’t expect him to ever care about getting attention from people who never met him, though. Wanting attention from your family and friends is different than wanting to be a social media influencer.
Teri: Frank will be a new kind of influencer, in that companies will pay him to not promote or use their products.
Frank: How do you guys feel about podcasts? I feel like I could be a good podcast host.
Steven: I think you should see how the TikTok account goes first.
Frank: It’ll go well. The people love me.
Betty: And are these people in the room with you right now?
Velma: The reaction seems sort of mixed right now.
Mitchell: You’re on TikTok? I barely know what that is.
Velma: And that’s why I’m hip and you’re not.
The next day, at dinner…
Karl: All right, Frank, how’s the TokTik treating you?
Frank: I was recognized at work today. One of the kids that brought his laptop in asked me if I was the “Let’s Be Frank” guy. Then, someone recognized me at the grocery store.
Velma: What were you doing at the store? I would’ve given you the list if I knew that.
Frank: I had to get some celebratory ice cream.
Tammi: He said he’s taking tomorrow off to make TikToks. He’s a grown man taking the day off work to TikTok. Mom?
Cindy: I’m staying out of this.
Frank: I was making a joke. How long does it take to make a TikTok, ten minutes.
Velma: Have you even made an account yet?
Frank: Yes! I’m up to twenty-two thousand followers!
Teri: He’ll be a household name by Friday.
Betty: Don’t put that into the universe. I had to hear them talk about him on The Talk today. Has Amanda Kloots not been through enough?
Velma: Who?
Betty: It’s not my fault you’re not up-to-date on your Talk lore.
Steven: The Let’s Be Frank TikTok is up to thirty-nine million views now. Still sort-of mixed reception to dad, though.
Jerry: Frank is used to mixed reception. It’s all he gets around here.
Frank: I have a devoted fanbase, and I’m going to win them all over eventually once they see my charm.
Teri: What are you planning to do in your TikToks? How many times can you say “Let’s be Frank” before it gets old?
Betty: It’s already old.
Frank: Steven and I are going to workshop it and figure out what my brand will be.
Steven: We are?
Frank: You are in tune with your TikTok generation. I need you!
Steven: How lucky am I?
Later that night…
Danielle: Do you guys mind?
Frank: Mind what?
Danielle: You’re talking during The Amazing Race.
Frank: Oh, sorry. We’re filming.
Cindy: During The Amazing Race?
Frank: I’m reacting “Frank-ly” to what’s going on on the screen.
Steven: We decided he’s a reaction video guy.
Danielle: Is The Amazing Race really the show to grab those TikTok fans?
Frank: We were going to react to the new Wednesday Addams show, but three of you are already watching Netflix.
Betty: Half-assing it from the get-go is always a sign a venture will be a success.
Frank: You need to stop doubting and belittling me.
Steven: He’s trying. Don’t shake his confidence.
Velma: For what it’s worth, I think your ramblings are more interesting than most of the drivel on this app.
Frank: I appreciate the support!
Cindy: But, seriously. Use another room to make your videos if you want to make them. I can’t hear anything over the sounds of you talking.
Frank: Will do!
The next day…
Tammi: Mom, I need to talk.
Teri: I’m not your mother.
Tammi: Oh! You got your hair done!
Teri: Yeah. I don’t like it. Everyone keeps saying it’s like Cindy’s hair. I gotta be my own thing.
Cindy: You were asking for me?
Tammi: We need to talk about Frank.
Cindy: Oh, where to begin.
Teri: He’s stupid, he’s lazy, he has no talent, he has some sort of a strange odor to him -
Tammi: I was hoping for a private conversation, actually.
Cindy: We’ll go to another room.
Teri: Sorry to bother you! I thought this was a safe space.
Cindy: So, what’s up?
Tammi: Frank is worrying me with this TikTok obsession. He’s at the movies right now filming a new video.
Cindy: He’s going to get thrown out, no?
Tammi: He bought a private showing for himself and Steven so he can film a forty-five second video!
Cindy: Yeah, that seems bad.
Tammi: This has all gone to his head very quickly.
Cindy: Getting a bit of positive attention after years of being a verbal punching bag will do that to a person.
Tammi: I don’t know how to tell him that this dream is ridiculous.
Cindy: I don’t know how this TikTok thing works. Can you make money off of it?
Tammi: You can, but he is not. He has about thirty thousand followers. You a heck of a lot more than that to make anything.
Cindy: Maybe he overestimated the appeal of a middle-aged dad rudely explaining things with snappy dialogue.
Tammi: What should I do here? Did dad ever get involved in something ridiculous like this?
Cindy: The military.
Tammi: Don’t say that!
Cindy: It worked out for him in the end. In the beginning, I thought it was a cult and I didn’t get why my twenty-four year-old husband was joining it.
Tammi: That is how I sort of feel about TikTok. So I suppose any advice you give me will ultimately lead to Frank devoting thirty years of his like to making short videos for people online?
Cindy: You’re the one who asked me for advice, don’t you go making fun of me.
Three days later…
Danielle: Jerry, is the internet down?
Jerry: I don’t know. why?
Danielle: TikTok isn’t loading for me.
Velma: You joined TikTok?
Teri: God, it’s spreading like the plague…
Velma: It’s loading fine for me, Danielle.
Jerry: Ah, good. I don’t have to get up.
Velma: You sound like Mitchell.
Karl: Danielle, maybe try and close out the app and restart it.
Teri: Dad, are you really trying to give someone else advice on how phones work?
Karl: I was only telling her what you told me when I was having problems with Facebook.
Danielle: I still can’t get it to load.
Velma: Hand it here.
Danielle: There you go.
Velma: It’s working for me.
Danielle: Yeah, but I can’t load Frank’s page.
Betty: Why would you wanna do that?
Danielle: I wanted to check his follower count.
Steven: Oh…
Danielle: What is it?
Frank: My foray into internet stardom is DEAD!
Betty: Ah, that’s a shame. Who wants dinner?
Cindy: What happened, Frank?
Frank: The TikTok teens are mean. Very mean.
Steven: Almost all of his viewers were hate-watchers.
Teri: All is right with the world again.
Tammi: It’s okay, honey. We still love you.
Teri: We?
Frank: I appreciate your support at this difficult time.
Velma: Is the podcast dead, too?
Frank: Never even started!
Karl: You really gave into the pressure of a bunch of meant teenagers?
Frank: It was partly the mean comments, partly because the views kept dropping with every video I made.
Steven: He is, to put it nicely, “washed up.”
Tammy: It was fun while it lasted, right?
Frank: It was stressful.
Teri: Think of it this way, Frank: you may still be able to squeeze a Tucker appearance out of this calamity. Just say it was cancel culture.
Frank: I didn’t even talk politics.
Teri: Does Tucker care?
What did you think of this episode of Our House? Let us know in the comments and make sure to read the new episode next week!