The Bullpen Season 2 Episode 11: Perfect Record

Kurt: long-term reliever-turned starting pitcher
Lorenzo: middle-relief pitcher
Jason: bullpen coach
Robert: 8th inning/setup pitcher
Bryan: closer
Eli: left-handed specialist

Jason: Kurt, you're about to go in the game as a starting pitcher again. What do you have to say about that?
Kurt: Hopefully I don't get crushed.
Bryan: Kurt, they may hate you for giving up a lot of runs but I don't think they're going to hurt you like that.
Kurt: I'm talking figuratively Bryan. 
Robert: Do me a favor?
Kurt: What? As if I didn't just do this.
Robert: Pitch good.
Kurt: Thanks Robert, didn't know you actually cared.
Robert: Of course I care. If you pitch well, there's less of a chance I have to come in the game. I like to be the team hero by sitting here and not messing anything up.
Eli: What are you still doing here anyways Kurt, there's nothing happening on the field. I think they're waiting for you.
Kurt: Yep, that'd explain the booing. At least I set the bar low.
[Kurt walks onto the field.]
Lorenzo: What are we going to do now that he's gone?
Jason: Watch the game, maybe?
Lorenzo: I don't know, can you think of anything else?
Jason: I would say eat the food but I think you've already done that.
Bryan: Actually that was me.
Lorenzo: You saying that because I'm bigger than the rest of you, it would automatically be me to eat the food?
Jason: Actually I thought it was you because you have a history of doing that. 
Lorenzo: That makes sense. Although, should I be entitled to more since I'm the biggest? Between the autograph and the kid recognizing me at that game, I think we can all agree I'm the celebrity here.
Jason: Thought you were talking big in another way, but yeah, sure, you're famous.
Kurt: I wouldn't say I'm famous yet, but maybe one day.
Jason: Kurt, you're supposed to be pitching!
Kurt: I got all three batters out, do you guys ever pay attention to the games?

Eli: We've all kind of given up on that. 
Kurt: Yeah, a long time ago. Whatever, I guess you not watching is my good luck charm. I'm going back in the game now. Is it me or does it feel like this game is going by really quickly?
Lorenzo: It's been what, an hour?
Jason: Far from it. 
Eli: Feels like an hour.
Jason: Nap time?
Robert: Lorenzo's already on it.
[The entire bullpen takes a nap, except for Robert, who leaves.]
Kurt: Hello? Anybody? Eh what's the use?
Jason (waking up): What?

Kurt: Get someone warming up. I'm doing terrible out there. 
Jason: I thought you were doing good?
Kurt: For the first inning. Now we're seven innings in and I've given up three runs.
Jason: How is that terrible?
Kurt: Terrible for this team, I should say. 

Jason: OK, Robert get warmed up, you're the 8th inning guy...Robert? 
Kurt: Looks like he left. And that big screen in the outfield is zoomed in on us yet again. You need to wake someone up.
Jason: Or I could just go in and pitch.
Kurt: That's a terrible idea! You're not even on the roster.
Jason: Yes I am, my name is Robert.
[Jason goes into the game to pitch. He pitches the final two innings and gives up one run.]
Jason (back in the bullpen): Well, I only gave up a run and that home run our team got in the 8th inning credits me--I mean, Robert--with the win.
Bryan (waking up): Did I hear that right? Are you going to go back to pitching, Jason?
Jason: Of course not, wouldn't want to tarnish my perfect record like that.

Lorenzo (waking up): Cool or whatever. What do you all say we celebrate at my house next week, I'll cook food.
Jason: Are you going to serve it to us or eat most of it?
Lorenzo: Both.

Eli: I'm in.
Kurt: Same.
Bryan: Alright I'll go. 
Jason: I'll go too, as long as I can be Jason again and not Robert.
Kurt: Is Robert going?
Jason: How should I know?

Kurt: You're still Robert for as long as people are in this stadium.
Jason: Oh, yeah. OK, I, Robert, am planning on going.

Share this

Related Posts

Next Post »