Olivia is in New York when she gets a phone call.
Olivia: Hello?
Midge: Olivia!
Olivia: Midge, I just saw you. What could you possibly have to tell me?
Midge: Are you sitting?
Olivia: No, do I need to be?
Midge: I’d advise you to take a seat.
Olivia: What is wrong?
Midge: The press back in Britain has gotten hold of the book.
Olivia: So?
Midge: There’s a bit of a firestorm.
Olivia: How bad is it for you to be hearing about it while we’re over here?
Midge: Let’s look at the positive, the whole nation’s heard of the book, that’s great for sales.
Olivia: And the negative?
Midge: How do I say this?
Olivia: Just say it!
Fred: What’s going on?
Olivia: I don’t know if we can go back to the UK.
Fred: What is that supposed to mean?
Olivia: I’m awaiting details.
Midge: It’s not so bad! Well, it’s pretty bad.
Olivia: What happened?
Midge: I want to say, not all the press is bad. However… some people are calling you a traitor, comparing you to Judas.
Olivia: Judas?
Midge: Just some of the nutjobs. Many of them are keeping it more reserved and just calling you disrespectful for “airing your grievances” in your book instead of keeping it a private family matter. No name-calling with most people.
Olivia: I don’t think that’s really their place to say.
Midge: Like I said, it’s not all bad. Some of them are dragging your family for treating you that way, they’re really supporting you. Social media is outraged, too, there have apparently been some viral tweets about how the UK needs to stop looking up to Claude and Eleanor because their treatment of you is an example of how they’re not worthy of reverence.
Olivia: You phrased that like it’s a good thing, it’s not.
Midge: It’s always good to have people on your side!
Olivia: My family won’t see it that way.
Midge: Have they read the book yet? Surely they gave you approval on everything you wrote about.
Olivia: They were not allowed to read it, it was in my contract. And, no, I never gave specifics on what I was going to write about. I never planned to be this raw, I doubt they expected me to be.
Midge: So this is significantly worse than I believed it to be. At least many copies of the book have been sold! Number one on the bestsellers list! Amazon is sold out already!
Olivia: Midge, could I call you back? I need to process all of this.
Midge: Sure! I should tell you one last thing, though.
Olivia: Oh, lord. What?
Midge: Many bookstores in the UK are refusing to sell the book due to the “defamatory” statements.
Olivia: They’re all true!
Midge: It’s your word against your family’s.
Olivia: Has my family spoken about it? They haven’t expressed any thoughts about it to me!
Midge: No, nothing yet. A lot of these types just believe your family is perfect and makes no mistakes.
Olivia: Ha! Hahaha!
Midge: No, I’m serious!
Olivia: Well, that’s a terrifying thought. How could anyone ever get it so wrong?
Midge: No comment.
Olivia: I forgot, you’re technically an employee of the crown and not me. Can’t criticize the bosses too much.
Midge: No comment.
Olivia: You were the one who encouraged me to write this book, too. Oh, man, you are totally getting fired.
Midge: I think I should let you go, you wanted some time to process this.
Olivia: I’m sure you’ve got a lot to process as well.
Midge: Well, now I do!
Olivia: We’ll talk soon, bye.
Olivia hangs up.
Fred: So, what have you gotten yourself into now?
Olivia: Why do you always assume I’ve gotten myself into trouble?
Gigi: Because you usually have.
Olivia: That’s unfair.
Fred: All right, prove us wrong. What concerning thing did Midge call you about that is not your fault?
Olivia: The British response to my book is not what we were hoping for. They’re sort of mad at me, and, uh… I’m seen as a bit of a traitor, I believe “Judas” was thrown around.
Todd: I’m not a devoutly religious man, but I am aware enough to know that that is not good.
Olivia: No, it’s not. Not at all. I will get by, though. This surely won’t last, the public have short attention spans.
Gigi: Are you sure about that? They obsessed for a month about whether Claire was dead or alive.
Olivia: They can’t go on for months over excerpts from a book. Everything they’re concerned about happened decades ago, the family have moved past it.
Gigi: Mum, I believe you have every right to have told your story. However, I’m not sure the family will have moved past it now that all of the gory details are being exposed to the world for the first time.
Olivia: They’re all reasonable people, except Selina. They’ll understand. This will blow over in due time, the public will forgive me and the family, and that’ll be that.
Fred: Dear, I wish I shared your optimism.
Olivia: Why don’t you?
Fred: It took how long for people to stop discussing the fallout in the first place. There are so many reporters that thrive on fake gossip about your family, and now this has given them real ammo. I don’t suspect they’ll hesitate to capitalize on it.
Olivia: What will be will be. I’m not worried. Now, let’s head out to eat, I’ve got to get up early tomorrow for my Today show interview so I’d like to be home and in bed fairly early.
Fred: Where do you have in mind?
Olivia: Gigi, you come here more than I do, any good restaurants you’d recommend?
Gigi: There’s a seafood place called Bubba Gump’s. Very classy establishment.
Olivia: Oh, it sounds like it.
The next day…
Olivia: I must say, as much as I’ve enjoyed our time in New York, I’m ready to go home. Life is just quieter across the pond, it’s much more my speed. This city really does never sleep.
Gigi: Midge, you look like she just admitted to murder in front of the police.
Midge: I, uh… I… I spoke with the Palace today, they’ve asked for a meeting with all of us as soon as we return to the country.
Norah: Even me?
Midge: No, not you.
Norah: Aww, I thought I was finally being included.
Warren: Norah, I’ve been marred into this family for two decades and even I’m not included. We’re on the outskirts, out of their minds, and it’s just where we’re meant to be.
Gigi: I wish I were.
Olivia: Do you have any idea what this meeting is about?
Midge: I’ve got my ideas.
Fred: We could always stay another day!
Olivia: No, I’m sure it’s nothing bad. We’ll go and face whatever it is.
Gigi: Thank god they have alcohol in first class, that’s all I’ll say!
Later that day, when they land in the United Kingdom…
Fred: Well, here we are.
Olivia: You look white as a ghost.
Fred: I do not!
Olivia: I can sense the nerves, you can’t tell me you’re not nervous.
Fred: I’ve spent the whole flight pondering what this meeting is about and how it could unfold and, yes, I am panicked.
Gigi: Do you still think they want us to go to the Palace? It’s eight at night.
Midge: They made it very clear then want us to head straight over.
Todd: I’m starting to think they’re going to euthanize us.
Olivia: That’s not funny.
Todd: Wasn’t trying to be.
Norah: Should I call mum and see if she has any clue what’s going on?
Olivia: Why would she have a clue? She never has one any other time!
Norah: That was unnecessary.
Olivia: I’m sorry, I’m just grumpy from the flight.
Fred: So we’re heading to Buckingham, right?
Olivia: I don’t think we have a choice.
Fred: Let me grab something too eat first, then.
Olivia: They’re likely already mad, what we really need is to delay our arrival for an airport pretzel.
Fred: I need some fuel, is that a problem?
Olivia: Make it quick. We’ll go grab the bags a while.
Todd: Get me one, too!
Gigi: And me!
Fred: One of what?
Gigi: A pretzel!
Fred: I wasn’t really planning on getting a pretzel, but, uh… sure.
Warren: Get me one, too! I’ll need something to do to pass the time while I wait in the car for you lot.
Gigi: I think they’ll let you come in if you want, you’re not banned.
Warren: I feel like this is going to go poorly, so I’d rather not.
Midge: Fair choice.
Thirty minutes later…
Olivia: Claude, we sped here as fast as we could! It’s been such a long day, so forgive the sluggish appearances by this motley crew.
Eleanor: What are we going to do with you?
Olivia: Don’t, don’t say that.
Claude: I think you all know why you’re here.
Fred: Please, don’t to to us what Scientology did to Shelly Miscavige. We can be reformed!
Christine: Do you think we’re a cult?
Fred: Uh…
Christine: We’re not!
Fred: Yes, exactly!
Claude: Olivia, that book is a problem.
Olivia: I agree! I spent so much time on it, now they won’t even sell it in half the country! Bummer!
Eleanor: This is our family’s worst public relations crisis since the last one you caused.
Olivia: That’s unfair!
Eleanor: It’s not! It’s true!
Ethan: I’ve defended you so much. I care for you deeply, you’ll always be my big sister, but you had to know better.
Olivia: Not you too!
Claude: What were you thinking, going into such vivid detail, painting us as villains?
Olivia: If you didn’t want to potentially be painted as villains, perhaps try not acting like them! You made my life hell all those years ago when I was just trying to live my life.
Claude: I believe you when you said you were past it!
Olivia: I am past it, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have a right to speak about my life experiences. It happened to me, it was real, it was caused by all of you, and I should be able to tell the truth about how it all happened.
Claude: We have a protocol, we don’t discuss internal strife in public.
Olivia: You all knew I was writing this book!
Eleanor: I assumed you’d be wise enough to only gloss over it, to not dredge up old, settled conflicts and throw a fit about them for the world to see.
Christine: Whose bright idea was it to have you attack our family in this book, anyway?
Midge: I want to step in and defend her, and say that I was the one who brought her the idea of publishing this book.
Claude: Thank you for being honest.
Midge: No problem.
Claude: Midge, you’re fired.
Midge: Oh, that is not -
Claude: You have caused great harm to this family, and you were hired to do the exact opposite. Your services are no longer needed and will never be needed again. Please leave now, you’re not privy to any further discussion.
Midge: Your Majesty, it’s been an honor. Your Royal Highness, it’s been the great privilege of my life to serve by your side.
Olivia: Claude, you don’t have to -
Midge: It’s no use. He’s made up his mind, best to let me go with a bit of dignity.
Midge leaves.
Olivia: You going to fire me now?
Claude: I -
Fred: You know what? I have to speak. You all stepped out on her and disowned her because she wanted to marry me. I know you’ve all made your amends, and I’ve loved getting to know you, but the crux of the issue here is that you’re all angry over the public seeing you as imperfect, flawed humans who can act cruelly. It ruins the image you’ve tried to upkeep for decades. It’s the truth, though. You hurt her terribly, you left her broken, you took a piece of her by giving that ultimatum. I won’t listen to all of you berate her for having the courage to address what she went through.
Arthur: She dragged my dead grandfather through the mud right along with the rest of us!
Fred: As she should! What he said hurt the most!
Claire: He’s right.
Arthur: He is not!
Claire: I don’t wish to be a further part of this, this is embarrassing.
Olivia: What is the point of all this? To reprimand me and make me feel like a child who has misbehaved? I think that’s unfair.
Claude: We’ve spoken at length about how to handle this, this great shame you’ve brought upon this family.
Olivia: What is this, medieval times? Stop talking like that.
Claude: For the sake of the family and our public image, we would like for you to quietly step down from your royal duties, stop using your royal title, withdraw from public appearances, and stop coming around the Palace.
Olivia: So you’re cutting me off again? Claude, you never wanted me back, be honest!
Claude: This is not my decision alone.
Olivia: Mum, you’re fine with him cutting off your only daughter because she dared to speak her truth?
Eleanor: Don’t victimize yourself.
Olivia: Wow!
Gigi: I think this is bullshit! She forgave you, went back to work for this family and now because she wrote a book that didn’t heap praise onto all of you, this is how you react? Maybe it wasn’t the wisest move to publish it to the world, but she merely detailed a situation from twenty years ago. I’m sorry that some insane people on social media and in our press have taken that and ran with it, but maybe they’re right to think you people don’t change. I’m ashamed to be part of this family if this is how you act.
Ethan: It was a betrayal of trust.
Todd: What do you think this is?
Claude: I understand this is difficult and upsetting, but there have to be consequences. How can we trust you to not divulge even more secrets?
Olivia: If that’s what you think of me, I need no part of this family. I’ve no use for any of you. I do mean any of you. Ethan, I’ve never been more disappointed in a person.
Claude: Please clear out your apartments at St. James’s Palace by tomorrow evening, they are property of the crown.
Olivia: Screw you.
Fred: What she said, and double it!
The next morning…
Olivia: You good, Fred? Got everything?
Fred: I didn’t expect us to be moving out so soon again.
Olivia: I think I messed up, Fred.
Fred: They messed up!
Olivia: I understand why they’re upset. And now I’ve hurt my children, lost Midge her job, I’ve inconvenienced you. None of this was worth it.
There is a knock on the door.
Olivia: Whoever that is, I don’t want -
Meredith: Hello! Olivia! I’m here!
Olivia: Good heavens.
Fred: One last time, Livie.
Olivia: Ah, you’re right.
Olivia opens the door.
Olivia: I assume you’ve heard.
Meredith: I’ve heard it all.
Olivia: I don’t mean to be rude, but we are in a rush to get out of here.
Meredith: I won’t be long. I just wanted to tell you that you’ve meant a lot to me over these years. You’re a wonderful lady, I’m so glad I got to know you.
Olivia: Meredith, I say this without the usual snark, that is very kind. I appreciate the kindness, it’s been hard to come by lately.
Meredith: I told the King this was the wrong decision, but I don’t get a say. I just want you to know I’m on your side, and your book was wonderful! Don’t give up the fight!
Olivia: I’m afraid there’s not much left to fight for, it’s just time for me to go home. I could use a good rest.
What did you think of the season finale of The Princess Royal? Let us know in the comments and make sure to read the season premiere of Raymond Island next week! The Princess Royal will return for season five next summer!
