Bar Exam Season 6 Episode 7: Stupid Lorenzo
Showing posts with label bar exam season 6. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bar exam season 6. Show all posts
Bar Exam Season 6 Episodes 1, 2, and 3: Interrogation/Jail Food/Jail Friends
MADISON, ADAM, LINCOLN, SAM, CHASE, REAGAN, and LORENZO are all in an interrogation room. There are being questioned related to claims of campaign finance fraud.
INTERROGATOR 1
Thank you all for complying with your legal orders. Do know that there is nothing to worry about, and you will only face the punishment if you are found to have done the crime.
CHASE
I’m still not really sure what we did though.
INTERROGATOR 2
For the fifth time, we have reason to believe you all committed campaign finance fraud.
ADAM
And why is that?
INTERROGATOR 2
We have received word that you have all received campaign contributions above the legal limit.
REAGAN
Above the legal limit?! We’re incumbents who lost state representative races. We had no money to begin with.
INTERROGATOR 2
I’m just going by the word we received.
SAM
And who gave you that word?
INTERROGATOR 1
We’ll do the interrogating here.
INTERROGATOR 3
We’ve received word that you received a campaign contribution in excess of $10 million from a company referred to as SugarCity.
MADISON
That’s ridiculous, if we got $10 million we’d still be in office.
INTERROGATOR 2 [to INTERROGATOR 1 and INTERROGATOR 3]
She’s got a point.
LINCOLN
So can we go now?
LORENZO
Yeah, I think there’s been a misunderstanding here. Lorenzo’s Kitchen was bought out by SugarCity for $10 million, and I receive a lifetime supply of food from SugarCity’s Kitchen because I sold my restaurant to them. This has nothing to do with our political careers.
SAM
$10 million?! Holy crap!
INTERROGATOR 1
Everyone except Lorenzo can leave. Lorenzo, we have a few more questions for you.
LINCOLN
Lorenzo, are you okay to answer these by yourself?
INTERROGATOR 2
He is going to have to.
LINCOLN, MADISON, ADAM, CHASE, REAGAN, and SAM all leave.
LORENZO
Am I in trouble?
INTERROGATOR 1
You tell us.
LORENZO
No?
INTERROGATOR 2
You claim to have played on the Indianapolis Primitives, owned a successful restaurant in Indianapolis, and were a state representative, but we’re having trouble verifying this information. What do you have to say for yourself?
LORENZO
Well you see, I don’t play for the Primates, I sit in their bullpen.
INTERROGATOR 2
And you…get paid for that?
LORENZO
Yes Sir.
INTERROGATOR 3
Tell us about LorenzoChair.
After a long pause:
LORENZO
With all due respect Sir, I don’t think Mr. Chair is going to say anything about me.
INTERROGATOR 3
Excuse me?
LORENZO
I didn’t mean to assume the Chair’s gender, I am so sorry!
INTERROGATOR 3
Is there or is there not a program called LorenzoChair.
LORENZO
No, there is not.
INTERROGATOR 3
Yet you consider it your flagship achievement?
LORENZO
Yes I do! I should elaborate, there WAS a LorenzoChair, that was a hot mess, but I got a bill through that repealed it!
INTERROGATOR 1
Moving on, can you say you did not use any of the money given to you by SugarCity in your re-election campaign?
LORENZO
Of course I did, I’d be a fool not to! I’m a huge fan of all their products and hope everything I did in the legislature helped their business.
INTERROGATOR 2
I think that’s all the information we need.
The interrogators talk amongst themselves for a few seconds.
INTERROGATOR 1
Lorenzo, we are going to schedule a court hearing for your alleged crimes. Until then, we have a lovely county jail that we are going to place you in.
LORENZO
You’re sending me to prison?!
INTERROGATOR 1
There is no reason to be alarmed, it’s just county jail, you won’t be going to prison.
INTERROGATOR 2
You will be if you’re found guilty though!
LORENZO gets escorted to the county prison. On his way, he tells LINCOLN, MADISON, ADAM, CHASE, REAGAN, and SAM via text.
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