Evergreen Aimee Season 3 Episode 11 - The Ice Queen

Evergreen Aimee Season 3 Episode 11
The Ice Queen

Aimee walks into Greg’s office.

Greg: Hey, Aimee! Been a while since I’ve seen you! Gerry, Harry and I were just talking about some of the primaries we have coming up in the battleground states.

Geraldine: We’re looking to accomplish the insurmountable feat of “not losing a seat when we only have one swing seat on the line to begin with.”

Harry: Even odds on whether we’ll be able to pull that off.

Geraldine: We’re trying our hardest, though!

Aimee: Well, I don’t mean to interrupt anything important -

Greg: Important? You kidding? We’re the party leadership of a party that currently holds 41% of the seats in US Senate, debating on which candidates are the least awful and may embarrass us the least by losing winnable seats by the smallest margins. None of this matters! Whatever you’re asking us, I know it’s more important.

Aimee: Don’t discount yourselves too much! We are occasionally able to stop Democrats from overriding some vetoes.

Greg: We’d be able to do it more if not for you, but that’s okay.

Aimee: I represent Seattle! Try being a party line Republican while you have to deal with them!

Greg: I don’t envy you. I have to deal with Indianapolis, but they’re mostly distracted by how much the Colts suck, so I don’t have to feel the heat too often.

Geraldine: I could end your career by releasing the hot mic of that statement.

Greg: We all know the Colts suck, that’s why we root for the Lions or the Chiefs. Less heartbreak.

Harry: You’re a Chiefs fan? Good taste!

Geraldine: He’s just a bandwagon jumper, no respect for that!

Greg: Anyway, Aimee! What are you here for?

Geraldine: Oh, right! I forgot you were here!

Aimee: It’s not quite as important as NFL teams.

Geraldine: Anything is more important than NFL teams.

Aimee: I presume you’re all aware I had a child recently?

Greg: Are you asking for time off? You don’t really need to run that by us, you can just not show up. Your constituents probably won’t even know.

Harry: Best job in the world.

Aimee: No, it’s not that. I’m a hard worker.

Geraldine: That’s what we all like to tell ourselves.

Aimee: I want to pass a bill.

Greg: Do you know what party you’re a member of? That’s not happening. Hagelin rules her caucus with an iron fist.

Harry: We take a different approach. Which is more successful? Who’s to say?

Aimee: I think it would be a bipartisan bill.

Geraldine: Aww, she still believes bipartisanship is still alive!

Aimee: I know it is!

Geraldine: I’m just pulling your leg. We do occasionally work together on things.

Aimee: Things like better healthcare for moms!

Greg: Healthcare? That’s a slippery slope.

Aimee: Please don’t call me a communist.

Greg: I would never. Other might, but not me.

Aimee: It’s nothing extreme, just to protect expecting moms and moms giving birth. Do you know how much the death rate skyrockets for young women during and immediately after pregnancy? We barely have any legal protections in place specifically to protect new moms or to address the maternal mortality rate. It’s time to do something!

Greg: Okay, we can work with that. We have forty-one Senate seats, so I can’t guarantee you passage, but I think Hagelin might actually let you pass something along those lines.

Geraldine: You know what you have to do to get it to pass? Work with a Democrat!

Aimee: You guys talk like I don’t ever do that. I’ll work with anyone.

Geraldine: Melody Choi. She just had a baby herself, she’s a natural sell on this.

Aimee: Ah, I know Melody! Sweet girl.

Greg: Girl’s a good word for her. I keep thinking she’s some sort of intern from college or something. Senators are too young nowadays.

Geraldine: You’ve never said that about me!

Greg: You’re four years younger than me.

Geraldine: Exactly. I’m practically a child.

Greg: Sure.

Aimee: So, I can count on my party leadership to back up this bill and get the party in line?

Greg: We’ll have to read it first once it’s finished, but its intentions are certainly admirable, so I doubt there will be a problem.

Aimee: Then, I guess I have work to do. I’ll go talk to Melody!

Geraldine: I should get going, too. I don’t have anywhere to be, I’m just tired of yappin’.

Aimee: That’s valid. I’m also antisocial.

Geraldine: I’m not antisocial! I’m just anti… anti-these two.

Greg: That warms the heart.

Geraldine: Y’all are my pals, but ya drive me nuts.

Harry: It makes sense to me.

Aimee leaves and makes her way to Melody’s office.

Gwen: Aimee! How am I always running into you?

Aimee: Usually by visiting my office. You seem to like it there quite a bit.

Gwen: It helps me humble myself.

Aimee: How so?

Gwen: Have you seen my office?

Melody: How are ya, Aimee?

Gwen: Don’t cut me off!

Melody: Senator Gardenia, knock it off.

Gwen: Oh man, she’s addressing me by my government title, she’s done.

Melody: I just don’t want you to antagonize my good friend from Washington.

Aimee: Oh, I’m used to it! I know she thinks she’s better than me, that’s part of being friends with her.

Melody: We were just finishing up, anyway.

Gwen: Were we?

Melody: We were.

Gwen: I guess I’ll go. I hope I have your support on my bill.

Melody: You know you do, you stopping by to discuss it wasn’t necessary, but it is appreciated.

Gwen: Thank you, senator. Your support on this pressing bill is a lifesaver for families back in New York.

Melody: It’s renaming a post office, Gwen.

Gwen: It’s called sarcasm, Ice Spice. Did they not teach you that at the Olympics?

Melody: They don’t really teach us anything at the Olympics.

Aimee: Gwen, quit while you’re ahead. 

Melody: So, Aimee, what brings you here?

Aimee: I want to work with you on a bill.

Melody: I’m all ears!

Aimee: I’m glad you’re willing to help.

Melody: That’s our job, is it not? I’d be a pretty crappy senator if I didn’t write any bills.

Aimee: You’d be Gwen!

Gwen: Too far, AFD! Too far!

Aimee: Are you eavesdropping?

Gwen: Never!

Melody slams the door shut.

Gwen: Ow!

Melody: You deserved that! So, Aimee, what’s the bill about?

Aimee: I want to write a bill that better protects mothers of newborns and expectant mothers. We have too many women dying while pregnant or dying in childbirth and it’s concerning. Our government hasn’t addressed it at all aside from the reports from HHS that illuminated the crisis. You and I are the only new moms in the Senate, we have that recent firsthand experience to advocate for this.

Melody: I think that’s an amazing cause! I’m not terribly familiar with the issue. I mean, I’m familiar with childbirth, that was a bitch, but I haven’t really studied up on maternal mortality or how to combat it. So, I’ll look into it tonight, do some research, and then maybe tomorrow morning we can start working on it?

Aimee: That sounds good to me. This will sound strange, but I think you’re going to be horrified by what you find. It’s going to spring you into action.

Melody: I don’t doubt it!

Later that night…

Victoria: Look who’s home!

Dave: Honey! How was your day?

Victoria: We had a great day!

Dave: She had a great day. I was at work.

Victoria: Me and the kids met Beyonce!

Dave: She did not meet Beyonce.

Victoria: Yes I did!

Dave: You met a woman named Beyonce.

Victoria: There’s only one Beyonce.

Aimee: Dave, let her believe she met Beyonce.

Victoria: I did!

Aimee: You sure did.

Dave: In sane news… how was your day, dearest love of my life?

Aimee: I’m working on a new bill, it has tentative support from both causes, so I’m really confident we can pass it!

Dave: What’s it about?

Aimee: Reducing the maternal mortality rate.

Dave: Oh! That’s… is fun the word?

Victoria: It’s nice. Go with that.

Dave: It is nice. Helping people is always nice.

Aimee: You guys have no idea what I’m talking about, do you?

Dave: I can infer what you mean.

Aimee: Good enough.

Victoria: So, who wants to hear about Beyonce?

Dave: I’m gonna go start dinner.

Victoria: He’s just jealous. He’s a Swiftie.

Dave: What?

Victoria: You don’t want to listen to me talk about meeting the greatest artist of all time.

Dave: The woman you met is clearly a teenager! Twenty, tops! She’s named after Beyonce!

Victoria: Jealousy, jealousy!

Dave: That’s by Olivia Rodrigo! You meet her, too?

Victoria: Maybe!

Aimee: I’m gonna take a shower, I feel like this is gonna go on for a while.

The next day…

Melody: Aimee, I was so moved by what I researched last night, I wrote an entire bill myself!

Aimee: You what?

Melody: I wrote a first draft of the maternal health bill.

Aimee: “The Choi-Ferrera Donahue Maternal Protection Bill?”

Melody: Good name, huh?

Aimee: Choi first?

Melody: I wrote it!

Aimee: It was sort of my idea.

Melody: The name’s negotiable.

Aimee: How about the content?

Melody: Suggest any changes you want, but I think it’s pretty solid!

Aimee: You wrote the whole thing in one night?

Melody: I mean, I didn’t use any of the fancy Senate language or formatting, but the bones are there. Like I said, first draft.

Aimee: Okay, prenatal leave, that’s gonna have to be negotiated.

Melody: Why?

Aimee: Requiring three months of paid prenatal leave by law? In addition to three months of paid maternity leave? You think that’ll pass?

Melody: Why would it not?

Aimee: That’s six months of leave. Double the maximum leave now. 

Melody: We’re trying to save lives.

Aimee: Look, I’d love to give moms the whole pregnancy of paid leave, but we can’t. The Senate is not going for that.

Melody: That one’s important to me.

Aimee: I’m not against it, but other people will be. I’m concerned it could tank the whole bill.

Melody: We can circle back to that.

Aimee: Okay, will do.

Four hours later…

Aimee: She’s driving me nuts, Denise!

Alec: She can’t be that bad!

Aimee: Wow, what are you guys all doing here?

Denise: You texted “SOS” and I knew that was your bat signal, assemble the Avengers.

Lynette: Batman’s not an Avenger.

Denise: Who the hell cares?

Carolyn: Ha! She told you!

Lynette: I am so disrespected.

Carolyn: What’s there to respect?

Alec: Too far.

Carolyn: Yeah, even I agree there.

Denise: What did Melody do that has you in a tizzy?

Aimee: She’s stubborn!

Carolyn: A stubborn politician? No!

Aimee: Stubborn to a degree I’ve never seen!

Lynette: Never? You’ve been at this a long time, dear.

Aimee: Okay, never seen with one of my own collaborators. I’m usually smart enough to detect the immovable, but I thought Melody and I would be able to work well together. We’re friends, we’re both moms, we’re both passionate -

Lynette: Two people that are both very passionate can clash when they’re passionately locked in opposition on something.

Aimee: It’s not that her ideas are bad, but I’m just worried that they’re too extreme. It could keep it from getting Republican support.

Lynette: Oh no.

Carolyn: Aimee, they already call you a Democrat.

Aimee: I know! I’m in so much trouble.

Alec: She’s a figure skater, Aimee, they’re very strong-willed.

Carolyn: I thought that was going somewhere else.

Alec: Where?

Carolyn: I thought you were gonna tell her to have Tonya Harding attack her.

Alec: I‘m not an insane person!

Carolyn: That’s questionable.

Aimee: So, does anyone have an idea on how to handle working with a diva?

Carolyn: Tonya.

Aimee: Without maiming my colleague!

Carolyn: I was just joking. I’m pro-life!

Lynette: Is this a bill you’re really passionate about?

Aimee: Very much so.

Lynette: Write your own bill then!

Aimee: I can’t screw her over like that, she’s a friend.

Lynette: Is her version of the bill something you can advocate for?

Aimee: It’s a great bill. I’m just concerned it goes too far for some people.

Lynette: Then go with her ideas and make it clear that, if it fails, you’re re-submitting it with your changes.

Alec: Wow, look at Lynette, offering genuine help!

Lynette: Why are you so shocked?

Alec: You’ve heard how Carolyn talks about you, right?

Carolyn: It’s from a place of love!

Denise: It only needs sixty votes to begin with. If she gets every Democrat, you’re the only Republican that needs to vote for it.

Lynette: Don’t forget me!

Denise: You sing her praises for being so bipartisan, but you rarely vote with her!

Lynette: I’ll always gladly back a bill written by my dear friend Aimee.

Aimee: It also has to pass the House. Carolyn, can you say the same thing Lynette did?

Carolyn: I’d have to read it first?

Alec: That’s a no.

Carolyn: You never said you’re a yes!

Alec: I’m a yes!

Denise: Wow, look how effective this complaining session was, already flipping two people to your side.

Lynette: Three if you friend-shame Carolyn enough!

The next day, in Melody’s office…

Melody: I’m so glad you came in today!

Aimee: I told you I would.

Melody: You seemed mad when you left.

Aimee: Me? Mad?

Melody: It’s not the most far-fetched thing, you have to admit.

Aimee: I’m passionate.

Melody: So am I! But I’m also smart enough to know that I don’t know all, so I sat down, thought about your suggestions, and I made some alterations to the bill. Compromise can be good!

Aimee: Oh!

Melody: Are you still mad?

Aimee: Well, I was coming here to tell you I wanted to go with your bill, because it was good.

Melody: Two strong-headed people who always think they’re right both ended up actually taking one another’s opinions into consideration. That’s a plot twist.

Aimee: So, what version are we going to submit?

Melody: I guess we sound sit down and give it another look.

Aimee: I have time, let’s do it. I’ll only be holding Gwen up.

Melody: Let’s make sure this takes a really long time, then.

What did you think of this episode of Evergreen Aimee? Let us know in the comments, and make sure to read the new episode next week!

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