Marietta is in her office with Tammy and Amy.
Amy: So, you excited for today’s council meeting?
Marietta: Oh my god, is that today?
Amy: It sure is!
Tammy: They can’t hurt you, Marietta.
Marietta: They can!
Tammy: Well, just think, it’s a new council. Three new members, they all like you more than who they replaced. This could be a new beginning for you.
Marietta: I always mess it up.
Amy: Let’s just put DeeDee down as an anti-Landfield vote, even though she was with you about 60% of the time… Marissa’s the president, she’s a great ally. You still have Helene and Moira, and Celia Greenley ran as a staunch ally. That’s a majority, and that doesn’t even take Larkman or Packard into consideration. You’ll be fine!
Henrietta storms into the room.
Henrietta: TikTok -
Marietta: Out.
Henrietta: No, you don’t understand.
Marietta: I… do not care.
Tammy: What do you have against Tic Tacs?
Amy: Do you have to be so old all the time?
Henrietta: I really think you’ll want to hear about this.
Marietta: Okay, fine, fire away. It better be related to the job!
Henrietta: Oh, it is.
Marietta: Good!
Henrietta: Not so good.
Tammy: I don’t think we’re talking about Tic Taco.
Amy: You don’t say?
Henrietta: TikTok has alleged, and I know this will come as a surprise, but they say that in one of the city parks, there is still a statue of a prominent Confederate general. It was overlooked in the previous removals.
Amy: For the last time, Andrew Jackson was just evil, he wasn’t a Confederate!
Marietta: What park is it in?
Henrietta: Riverview Park, in the French Quarter.
Marietta: Is there a picture of this statue?
Henrietta: Right here.
Tammy: Oh, yeah, that’s Confederate.
Henrietta: Yeah, it’s a bad look.
Marietta: I’m not the one who ordered the removal in the first place, so no one can blame me.
Henrietta: A lot of people are, though.
Tammy: A lot of people are idiots.
Amy: That’s true.
Tammy: I swear, none of these kids on these social media apps know how the government works.
Marietta: In fairness to them, neither do most politicians.
Henrietta: So, what do you want to do about this?
Marietta: Amy, issue a quiet press release for the website explaining the oversight and announcing it’s being removed. No press conferences about it, nothing to draw attention to it. We’ll have it quietly removed and that’ll be that. This doesn’t have to be national news like when Milton did it.
Amy: I’m just shocked no one said anything sooner.
Henrietta: I’m not. Most TikTok activists aren’t really all that thorough. They make a few videos and then move on.
Marietta: All right, crisis solved. We’re so good at this!
Tammy: Did we also ease your panic about the city council?
Marietta: To a degree. I think it’ll be fine. Now, I’m going to make a phone call if you guys don’t mind stepping out.
Tammy: Who is it to?
Marietta: Does it matter?
Tammy: I’m just curious!
Marietta: I’m calling Milton. Happy?
Tammy: Are you calling him to yell at him?
Marietta: Why would I ever do that?
Amy: You do like yelling at people.
Marietta: I do not! Now, go!
Amy: Aye-aye, cap’n!
Marietta: Is it possible for any of you to be normal even for a little?
Amy: No.
Marietta: Out!
Tammy: We’re going!
Amy: Can I grab my phone? It’s plugged into the wa-
Marietta: Out!
Amy: I’ll just leave it, didn’t need it for anything anyway.
Tammy, Amy and Henrietta leave Marietta’s personal office and Marietta calls Milton.
Milton: What’s up? I’m on my lunch break, so I hope this is important.
Marietta: It’s ten thirty!
Milton: Time zones, Marietta.
Marietta: Oh… right.
Milton: So, is this important?
Marietta: What are you actually on “break” from? It’s not like senators have normal working hours, you spend most of the day in your office with the staff or at hearings, you’re allowed to eat whenever.
Milton: I’m at lunch, that better?
Marietta: It’s more accurate.
Milton: So what’s up?
Marietta: Remember when you made that big deal about taking down the Confederate monuments?
Milton: You mean when half of the state wanted to kill me? Yes, I remember.
Marietta: Well, the good news is my political career is the only one that that “scandal” killed, not yours!
Milton: You losing was not my fault, I just stood up for what’s right!
Marietta: Anyway, the bad news is, you’re a moron and you missed one! TikTok found out about it, too!
Milton: Oh dear god.
Marietta: Yeah, it’s not great.
Milton: I don’t understand how it got overlooked! We were so thorough!
Marietta: Not thorough enough!
Milton: Maybe it didn’t look super Confederate?
Marietta: Yeah, that doesn’t sound like a thorough search to me.
Milton: It must not have been in the registry.
Marietta: You have a registry of racism monuments?
Milton: It’s a complex city.
Marietta: Well, TikTok’s a complex app, and they have complex thoughts on this that I have to deal with!
Milton: Good luck with that!
Marietta: Thanks, I appreciate all your help and concern.
Later that night…
Patty Lynn: So, how did the council meeting go?
Marietta: Mom, that hasn’t happened yet.
Patty Lynn: What do you mean?
Marietta: They do them at night, do you not remember that?
Patty Lynn: I forgot. It’s been a while!
Marietta: You’re right, I haven’t gone to one in three months. I’ve been so busy. And now I’ve got a new council to introduce myself to and I’m rusty, it’s a bit nerve-wracking.
Patty Lynn: Just be you!
Kathleen: She’s meeting with government officials, not speed dating!
Martin: Marietta, you met most of these people campaigning, it’s not really as complicated of a situation for you as you’re imagining it to be. Your policy proposals are all good, so just sell them to the best of your ability.
Marietta: I’m not used to a city council that’s actually open to my ideas, this is so weird! What if I’m not an effective persuasive speaker?
Kathleen: I mean, you aren’t very good at debat-
Patty Lynn: Shut it!
Kathleen: Is honestly banned in this house?
Patty Lynn: We’re supposed to be building her up.
Kathleen: Constructive criticism can only help her.
Patty Lynn: You’re gonna get in her head!
Sarah: It’s already in there. Trust me, I live with her, I get to hear the self-doubting thoughts aired out all day long.
Patty Lynn: That makes me sad.
Sarah: It is sad. She’s very hard on herself.
Marietta’s phone rings.
Marietta: Oh, great, that’s always good. A call from Tammy right after I left work.
Patty Lynn: I’m sure it’s nothing. Probably just coordinating a time for the council meeting.
Marietta: We don’t need to coordinate, the plan is just to get there on time. The starting time’s well-known!
Patty Lynn: You make it so hard to be positive sometimes.
Sarah: Finally, you see it too!
Marietta answers the phone.
Marietta: What’s up?
Tammy: They found out.
Marietta: Who? Found out what?
Tammy: Fox News found out about the statue.
Marietta: Oh no.
Tammy: Yeah, they’re not happy. “Cancel culture run amok” or some nonsense along those lines.
Marietta: I knew Milton got a lot of flak when he took all the others down, but it’s 2023…
Tammy: 2024.
Marietta: Oh my god, really?
Tammy: Yeah
Marietta: Where the hell does the time go?
Tammy: I don’t know. Regardless, I think we need to accept that our attempt to keep this story quiet has failed.
Marietta: Us failing, what else is new?
Tammy: I don’t know what we’re going to do here, Marietta. This is going to bring nuts so much unwanted attention.
Marietta: We just have to ride the storm out. Keep doing what we’re doing, don’t draw attention to it.
Tammy: You think that’ll work? These people are loud and angry and - I’m getting a call from Amy.
Marietta: Answer it.
Tammy: How do I add her to the call?
Marietta: I’m saying you can hang up on me and talk to her instead. You told me what I needed to know.
Tammy: Nope! You’re not getting out of this so easily, we’re all figuring this out together!
Five minutes later…
Tammy: Okay, finally, we’re all in one call together.
Henrietta: I’m not sure what this call is about, but I’m sure whatever it is is about to annoy me.
Amy: My phone is buzzing non-stop, every news outlet wants a comment from the mayor’s office about the Confederate statue at Riverview Park. How did anyone find out?
Tammy: There had to have been a TikTok!
Amy: I don’t know how to get on that.
Henrietta: I’ve been spending the night with my daughter instead of TikToking, so I would’ve missed it if someone did post about it on there. I’ll check now.
Marietta: Is this really a big story? The right-wingers are mad at us. So what?
Henrietta: Yeah, there’s a TikTok! They got video of the removal, damn, these teens are thorough.
Marietta: Again, I say: how is this a bad thing?
Tammy: It brings extra scrutiny to us, that’s really never good.
Marietta: I was a US Senator - a Democrat from Louisiana! I’m used to scrutiny!
Tammy: I was First Lady, so am I! Doesn’t mean I like it!
Amy: So how am I supposed to respond to this?
Marietta: Revert them to our initial statement. That’s all we need to do!
Tammy: That won’t be enough for them. They’re going to scream about how this is an attack on our heritage.
Marietta: “Our” heritage? Tammy, you’re from New York.
Tammy: So are the Fox News people! They don’t care, not as long as it riles up their fans and gets people talking!
Marietta: I’m aware of how the right-wing media outrage machine works. I know, because it’s basically how MSNBC works, and I watch that all day!
Amy: So the strategy is still “lay low?”
Marietta: Yes.
Amy: All right, good to know. Sounds foolproof to me!
Tammy: I guess I’ll see you girls at the council meeting tonight?
Henrietta: That’s tonight?
Tammy: Technically, you don’t have to come.
Henrietta: Thank god.
Later that night…
Marissa: Mayor Landfield, thank you for joining us for tonight’s meeting. Recent events have led to some increased concerns and a lot of questions, so this is very convenient timing!
Marietta: I’m glad to be here and ease your concerns.
Marissa: I’m going to turn it over to councilor Packard, who has been the most up-to-date on this scandal.
Marietta: Scandal?
Moira: It’s not much of a scandal, Madam President. Just a snafu.
Marietta: Snafu.
Marissa: Florence, go ahead.
Florence: Hello, madam mayor. Nice to meet you again!
Marietta: Nice meeting you as well.
Florence: So, today our city has been rocked with a minor scandal as it turned out we had a remaining Confederate monument in plain sight. Who could have guessed?
Marietta: Not me! I was unaware!
Florence: We all were. And, as opposed as we all are to Confederate monuments, we do think it was in the best interest of the city for us to be included in the decision-making to remove it. Media outlets have reached out to us for comment, asked if it was an official government order, and we had to tell the truth and say we were unaware. It’s made the entire government look foolish. You, us, the previous mayor, the previous counselors, the contractors hired to remove the statues in the first place… it reeks of government incompetence.
Marietta: If I may, uh… TikTok pointed it out, it made me deeply uncomfortable to learn, and I wanted it rectified immediately. I didn’t think this was an issue worth making a ruckus about - that happened already when my predecessor made the decision to remove all the other ones. In my view, the council already gave permission for this removal when they approved the last one.
DeeDee: I see your point, however, this has opened up old wounds and we’re getting a lot of hate from some less-than-desirable individuals.
Florence: Exactly.
Marietta: What was I to do? Leave it up? Let us get righteous hate from people who actually have a point? I’m going to be honest, and I’ll sound like a self-righteous, self-appointed white ally, but I’d rather we get hate from racists who view the Confederacy as aspirational than have us cover for a symbol of racism. In my view, the only proper response was a prompt removal. I’m okay taking the heat for it from… whoever it is out there that’s mad.
Florence: I can respect that view. I have a different view. Not that it should stay up, but that you should have immediately briefed us on the situation. We were kept in the dark and now we have been dragged into this.
Moira: I think the mayor did what she thought was right’s and I don’t think it’s worth criticizing her about it. In fact, we should support her while we have powerful people in the media attacking our city because they somehow think this infringes on their “freedom.”
Florence: Of course you side with the mayor, she’s your sister-in-law.
Moira: That is not it.
Marissa: I think this issue’s been addressed. The mayor knows to keep us in the loop on further decisions, correct?
Marietta: Yeah, I’m pretty secure on that one.
Marissa: So, what policy proposals do you have for us to discuss?
Marietta: Finally, the fun part!
The next day…
Tammy: Marietta!
Marietta: Yes? Did the President put out a hit on me yet?
Tammy: No! A couple things, though!
Marietta: You look excited!
Tammy: I am!
Amy: It’s a good day!
Marietta: I’ve never heard Amy say that!
Tammy: Marietta, someone recorded your city council speech and people are resonating. TikTok loves you now!
Marietta: TikTok?
Henrietta: Marietta, you’re a hit with the kids! They love you!
Marietta: Me?
Henrietta: You!
Tammy: The rest of the media picked up on it, too. The View wants to talk to you, the DNC called, you trended on the good part of Twitter… this is big!
Marietta: I did not want this attention.
Tammy: Hey, it’s better than the attention you were getting yesterday!
Marietta: I guess that’s a good way to look at it.
Amy: So, am I allowed to put out a more detailed response now?
Marietta: I guess.
Amy: On it!
What did you think of this episode of Marietta? Let us know in the comments and make sure to read the new episode next week!
