Aimee walks into her office.
Aimee: Oh, god! What a day!
Gwen: What happened, kid?
Aimee: Jesus! How are people always waiting for me in my office before I even get there?
Denise: You have a devoted following.
Gwen: Uh-uh. I am not a follower of anyone, I’m a mentor. I have to check on my mentee.
Lynette: I was just out of wine and I know you’ve got some in your mini fridge.
Aimee: You waited for me in my office just so you could have my wine?
Lynette: Not all of it! Just a glass! It’s been a day!
Aimee: You‘re telling me? You didn’t have to deal with Stowe and Campbell arguing back-and-forth and dragging out our Appropriations hearing by a full hour.
Gwen: What were they arguing about? Which one of them likes maple syrup more?
Aimee: I don’t know, I tuned them out. Pass the wine.
Lynette: Don’t drown your sorrows in alcohol, it never works out well.
Gwen: Yeah, look at Lynette!
Lynette: I’m not a drunk!
Gwen: And this is my natural hair color.
Lynette: Wow, that’s incredible for you ag- wait a minute, you’re calling me a liar!
Gwen: A drunk and an idiot! Wow, Wyoming, you sure can pick ‘em!
Denise: Hey, give them a little credit. They barely picked her.
Lynette: Oh you…
Denise: I’m just here getting my work done, don’t mind me.
Lynette: Aimee, are you going to let them bully me like this?
Aimee: I said pass the wine, Lynette.
Lynette: Only if you stop them from mocking me!
Aimee: It’s my wine!
Lynette: Okay, fine…
One hour later…
Geraldine: Hey, senator -
Denise: Bad time, senator.
Aimee: Gerry! Come on in! How the hell are ya?
Denise: Don’t listen to her, run!
Geraldine: I’m sensing a strange vibe, but I’m going to come in anyway.
Denise: Bad idea.
Gwen: Right?
Lynette (singing, badly): Yes, I know that he’s my ex, but can’t -
Denise: We don’t need an Olivia Rodrigo singalong tonight, please stop!
Lynette: I have the velvety vocals of an angel.
Denise: Yeah, you’re an everyday Luther Vandross.
Geraldine: Aimee, I wasn’t actually expecting you to still be here! I was just going to slip this under the door and figured you’d get it on Monday, but I’ll hand it to you now instead. You can read it on the plane, I suppose.
Aimee: What is it? I’m too drunk to read it.
Geraldine: A bill you need to read. I got a few Democrats to support it, so maybe it can pass. I know how you insist on reading everything before you vote on it, like a square.
Aimee: Wait, what day is today?
Geraldine: Friday, dear.
Aimee: Oh my god, I do have to get to the plane! I’m going to California!
Lynette: With an aching in your heart?
Aimee: Huh?
Lynette: Led Zeppelin song.
Aimee: Oh. I’m drunk, remember?
Gwen: You drank one glass of wine.
Aimee: I never drink! That’s like ten glasses for a normal person!
Gwen: Okay…
Geraldine: I don’t mean to intrude on girls night, I should get going.
Aimee: No! Stay! I have to get going soon, I have a plane at seven, so just stay until I do have to go!
Geraldine: I have nowhere to be, so I suppose I can stay.
Gwen: You never did tell us what you were flying to California for, AFD. What’s there?
Aimee: Oh, right! I’m going to a family reunion. Haven’t seen them in a while, it’s gonna be interesting!
Gwen: You have a family? I never could have guessed, since Lynette’s dad is the only family member any of us ever get to talk about!
Lynette: He’s a great man.
Gwen: I’m gonna bite my tongue.
Geraldine: So, who’s going to your family reunion?
Lynette: Apparently not me!
Aimee: We’re not family, Lynette.
Lynette: Excuse me?
Gwen: Was she unaware?
Lynette: She always says we’re like sisters!
Aimee: Not by blood!
Lynette: Is Dave going?
Aimee: Yes.
Lynette: I’d hope he’s not related by blood!
Denise: Aimee, she’s drunk.
Lynette: I am not! Just a little.
Aimee: He’s my husband, Lynette! That’s different than being my work pal!
Lynette: Okay. I see how it is.
Geraldine: Y’all, I just remember, I have work to get done in my office.
Gwen: Yeah, me too!
Lynette: Liars!
Aimee: Lynette, would you like to come to my family reunion?
Lynette: I actually have plans in Wyoming, but I appreciate the offer!
Denise: Well that was about the dumbest thing I’d ever heard.
Gwen: I never realized that agreeing to mentor a Republican would be anywhere near this annoying.
Denise: We’re not all that bad.
Gwen: I’m gonna make you a Democrat by the time I’m done with you. I can tell you’re normal.
Meanwhile, in Washington…
Cherie: We’re not taking her!
Ernesto: We have to take her! She’s ninety-five years old, we can’t leave her alone! That’s the reason she lives with us now to begin with!
Manuela: She’s ninety-four, and she can hear you!
Kimmy: Come on, mom, can’t we take her? I’ll be good, I’ll feed her! I’ll take great care of her!
Cherie: Kimberly, your grandmother’s not a dog you found on the street.
Manuela: No, you’d treat the dog better!
Cherie: I treat you very well. Especially considering how you treat me!
Manuela: Then why can’t I go to your stupid family reunion?
Cherie: It’s a Rutter family reunion. You’re not a Rutter!
Manuela: Neither is my son, but you’re reading him.
Cherie: He married into the family.
Ernesto: I don’t remember agreeing to that.
Cherie: You did, and it got you a ticket to the reunion. It doesn’t extend to your mother.
Kimmy: Mom, just let her come. It’s not a big deal.
Cherie: All right, fine. You’re helping her pack, though. And we’ve got to leave in two hours, so make it quick!
Manuela: How are you going to get a plane ticket on such short notice? If you wanted me to g-
Ernesto: Just booked it.
Cherie: You were asking?
Manuela: Don’t get hostile, I just simply concerned you were making Kimmy waste her time. She’s so sweet, I wouldn’t want her to be inconvenienced.
Kimmy: Aww, grandma, you’re so sweet!
Cherie: She’s really not if you get to know her.
Kimmy: Oh, mom, let it go.
Later that day, Cherie, Ernesto, Kimmy and Manuela arrive at Cherie’s brother’s house in California.
Cherie: Oh my god, Gene! It’s been -
Gene: What are you doing here?
Cherie: I was invited to the family reunion. You invited me!
Gene: I certainly did not!
Cherie: I have the invitation right here.
Gene: I didn’t send that.
Katie (Gene’s daughter): Oh… that may have been me.
Cherie: Don’t tell me we’re here by accident.
Gene: You’re certainly not here because I want you to be.
Cherie: Did I do something wrong?
Ernesto: Should I go run down the Uber to get us a head start?
Cherie: We’re not leaving!
Manuela: I was promised a Californian trip and I’m getting it. I didn’t sit on the plane for two hours for nothing!
Gene: Who is this woman?
Cherie: My mother-in-law! Don’t talk about her like that!
Kimmy: Yeah!
Gene: And who is this?
Kimmy: I’m your niece!
Gene: You don’t look like the senator.
Kimmy: I’m starting to see why I’ve never met my uncle before.
Katie: Dad, at least invite them in so you can talk.
Gena: Fine, come in. And, Katie, did you do this on purpose?
Katie: What?
Gene: Invite my sister to annoy me.
Katie: It’s a family reunion. I figured why do one without reuniting the whole family?
Gena: Whatever, it’s only a few days. As long as you didn’t invite the nut job.
The doorbell rings.
Kimmy: I’ll get it!
Gene: I’d rather you didn’t, woman who seems too young to be Cherie’s daughter.
Manuela: Ever hear of adoption, jackass?
Gene: This is not what I anticipated when you said “family reunion,” Katherine.
Katie: Well, they’re family.
Kimmy opens the door.
Victoria: Oh my god, what a flight! And Aimee was drunk the whole time!
Dave: She was not!
Gene: My god, no! Not her!
Victoria: Eugene! It’s been forever, bring it in!
Gene: I don’t want to hug you.
Cherie: He’s upset about some unnamed ridiculous thing.
Gene: Ridiculous? You’re coming into my own home and telling me what I should or should not find ridiculous?
Cherie: Then tell us what you’re so upset about if it’s so serious!
Gene: You both left and never even bothered calling. You cut off the entire family without warning and without reason!
Victoria: I was very busy pursuing my acting dreams, you see.
Cherie: I called!
Gene: Not that often.
Aimee: This feels awkward, I’m gonna go and…
Ernesto: You’re not going anywhere, we need to be ready to make a quick escape.
Manuela: I watch horror movies, we’ve been lured here to be marked for death. The killer could even be waiting for us outside.
Kimmy: That seems far-fetched.
Manuela: When you get to be as old as me, you learn to always be on the lookout. You think I made it this far without staying on my toes or stepping on anyone else’s?
Dave: You’re a fascinating woman.
Ernesto: You guys should take custody of her, then.
Kimmy: They can’t take her from us! She’s the only other sane person in the house!
Aimee: Oh, uh-
Cherie: Do you guys mind? We’re trying to talk.
Victoria: I just think it’s wrong to hold this grudge against us over this. It’s hurtful.
Gene: Good! It hurts to be cut off for no reason!
Cherie: We didn’t hurt you on purpose. We just moved on with our lives. Then I lost your number and I kept forgetting to ask for it. You still got my Christmas cards, no?
Gene: I threw those away.
Cherie: I worked so hard on those.
Ernesto: It’s tru, she drives herself crazy writing them. I always tell her “People just toss these out,” but she gets such joy from - you know what, I can read a room, I know my input is not wanted.
Cherie: I don’t know what you want from me. I wish I’d kept in contact better, but I got busy making a life of my own.
Gene: That was over forty years ago. Once you settled down, you couldn’t be bothered to check in with the family?
Victoria: I was -
Gena: I don’t care about you, you’re a nut.
Victoria: That’s not true!
Cherie: It’s a little true.
Victoria: That’s mean.
Katie: Maybe we all need to sleep on it, and in the morning we’ll all be ready to talk things over, let bygones be bygones.
Gene: You’re not out of the woods yet, either! You overstepped majorly!
Katie: I didn’t realize you held so much ill will towards aunt Cherie and aunt Victoria.
Gene: They’re barely even your aunts. You’ve met them what, twice?
Cherie: Family is always family.
Gene: Rich coming out of you!
Katie: I’ll show you to your rooms.
Ernesto: I’ll look for flights home for tomorrow morning. Clearly, we are unwanted.
Gene: I think that’s best. The rest of the family doesn’t need to deal with this.
One hour later, in the guest bedroom, Aimee calls Carolyn.
Carolyn: What’s up?
Aimee: Carolyn, your family’s crazy, right?
Carolyn: Insane way to say hello! Insane!
Aimee: I’m sorry, I’m just… in hell.
Carolyn: Florida?
Aimee: California.
Carolyn: Even worse!
Aimee: I’m at a family reunion, but my uncle didn’t know I was coming, and we all seem to be a bit… unwelcome.
Carolyn: Ah, an ambush! I’ve never seen that in my own family.
Aimee: It’s so awkward. I’m afraid to even leave this room. It’s only seven o’clock and I’m settling in to bed!
Carolyn: Yikes!
Aimee: Yeah, yikes is right. What do I do?
Carolyn: Honey, I don’t know what to tell you. Family strife cuts deep and it’s hard to repair.
Aimee: I was afraid you’d say that. I just want them to patch this up. Maybe they won’t be close, but none of them are getting any younger, I just want them to be good. Mom and Victoria thought they were good with him.
Carolyn: One-sided beef? That’s almost impossible to fix!
Aimee: I think they’re just kind of ignorant to what they did. It was unintentional harm.
Carolyn: Just… I don’t know what to really say. Tell them to talk through it from the start, I guess. It gives them a chance to completely clear the air.
Dave: Aimee! They have HBO in here!
Aimee: Oh my god! I want to watch Veep!
Dave: You think we can finish that in one night?
Aimee: Well, it’s basically noon, we can watch a lot of it tonight!
Carolyn: Are you still there or did I lose you?
Aimee: Oh, still here. Just talking about tonight’s plans.
Carolyn: Just use protection.
Aimee: Not those plans.
Carolyn: Oh, good. I can’t deal with another pregnancy from you, you turn into a menace.
Aimee: Bit deal, Car.
Carolyn: Sorry.
Aimee: It’s fine. Unlike my uncle, I don’t hold grudges.
Carolyn: Tell me how everything goes, okay?
Aimee: Will do.
Carolyn: Now, you get to your HBO night or whatever, I couldn’t’ really hear Dave clearly.
The next morning…
Aimee: Is it safe out here?
Cherie: Why wouldn’t it be safe?
Aimee: I thought it was about to turn into WWE SmackDown out here yesterday.
Gene: We’ve talked it through, we’ve made our peace.
Aimee: Oh my god, what time is it?
Gene: Nine.
Aimee: What time do you people wake up?
Victoria: We went to bed at six, how long do you think we sleep?
Cherie: We’re old, not bedridden.
Aimee: Is everything really good?
Gene: Yes. It felt good to clear the air, and we’re through it.
Cherie: Turns out, it is still possible to reason with people these days and really make amends. I didn’t think it was. Gene and I were able to go all the way back to the start of our familial fracture and figure out what went wrong and we both apologized for some issues we hit along the way.
Victoria: I helped, too!
Cherie: She sure did!
Victoria: I apologized for my part in everything.
Cherie: You’re right, he understands you’re a ditz and you can’t be held responsible for your own actions.
Victoria: Thank you!
Gene: In no way was that a compliment.
Aimee: Carolyn really does have the best advice.
Cherie: What does Carolyn have to do with this?
Aimee: Oh, I called her last night and turned her into our family therapist. She’s very wise.
Gene: Who the hell is Carolyn?
Cherie: We have so much to catch you up on.
What did you think of the midseason premiere episode of Evergreen Aimee? Let us know in the comments, and make sure to read the new episode next week!
