Aimee is in her office when Gwen storms in.
Aimee: Oh, hello, Senator! Yes, you can come in!
Gwen: No time for pleasantries, AFD. I gotta get invitations to a whole bunch of people today.
Aimee: Invitation to what?
Gwen: The Congressional Ball!
Aimee: Congressional Ball? How have I never heard of it? I’ve been in Congress for over a decade.
Gwen: We’re a bit of an exclusive club, you gotta make a splash before you get an invite.
Aimee: The name implies that anyone in Congress can go, no?
Gwen: You’d think, but no. No lame backbenchers allowed, unless they’re the plus-one of someone cooler.
Aimee: This seems cliquey.
Gwen: Yeah, it’s Congress. That’s how it goes. You wanna come or not?
Aimee: Um, when is it?
Gwen: This Saturday.
Aimee: Gwen, that’s in four days.
Gwen: If I’m being honest, I was in charge of invites this year, and I was very busy. You know, there was a new Andrew Lloyd Webber musical on Broadway, I had to go see it so I could make jokes about how much it sucks.
Aimee: And you’re one of the most powerful Democrats in the country how?
Gwen: I’m real. People like me.
Aimee: Okay.
Gwen: Anyway, are you coming?
Aimee: I’ll try to come. As much as I hate cliques, this is a pretty exciting thing to get an invite to. I feel like I’m part of the club now!
Gwen: You’re one of THE swing senators in a Senate one seat away from a Democratic supermajority. You’re a power broker, in case you didn’t know.
Aimee: Who else is invited?
Gwen: Well, the party leadership in both houses of Congress, most of the Senate, some key House members… a lot of people, really. Still an exclusive club, though!
Aimee: How many members of Congress aren’t invited?
Gwen: Like a hundred?
Aimee: I was in the bottom hundred in the House in terms of relevancy?
Gwen: Travesty, no?
Aimee: There were at least two hundred members elected after me!
Gwen: Your problem was your district. Solid red district in a solid blue state - no shot at a promotion and no shot of losing. And you wee a policy wonk, not a pot stirrer. You don’t end up on as many people’s radar.
Aimee: How about last year? I was a senator then!
Gwen: Oh, we just forgot to invite you last year. We weren’t organized, we let Alma Fredham handle the invitations.
Aimee: Senator Dementia got an invite and not me?
Gwen: Obviously! She’s the most senior female senator! Just because she doesn’t know where she is at any given time doesn’t mean she can’t still go places!
Aimee: All right, I’m starting to feel less honored by this invite and more insulted, but I’l gonna set that aside and say I’ll be there.
Gwen: Thank you! Now, I have to go invite your buddy Lynette. Wish me luck.
Aimee: You’re gonna need it.
Gwen: Don’t I know it!
Later that night…
Aimee: Guys! Guess what!
Victoria: I bet this is juicy, I’m gonna sit down with my martini.
Aimee: Martini? Aren’t you making dinner?
Victoria: I can do both!
Dave: She really can’t, she burned the onions earlier because she was too busy pouring herself another drink.
Victoria: Who cares? We have plenty of onions!
Dave: So what happened today, Aimee?
Aimee: Oh, right! I was too distracted by my aunt descending into alcoholism.
Victoria: I’m fine!
Aimee: I got invited by Gwen to attend the Congressional Ball!
Dave: There’s a congressional ball?
Victoria: I didn’t know members of Congress even knew what dancing was!
Dave: They’re members of Congress, not simpletons.
Victoria: I fail to see the difference.
Aimee: Excuse me?
Victoria: Other than you, of course!
Dave: Good save.
Victoria: So we’re going, right?
Aimee: I, um… I only have a plus-one.
Victoria: Oh! Which one of us are you taking?
Aimee: I didn’t realize you’d even want to go.
Victoria: Of course I’d want to go! I’m a socialite, I’m the life of every party.
Aimee: It’s a dance. A ball. People tend to go as couples.
Victoria: You’re not allowed to dance with your aunt?
Aimee: I didn’t say that.
Victoria: You seem to have implied it.
Dave: I don’t have to go if -
Aimee: No, we’re going. This is going to be fun for us.
Victoria: So I’m banned?
Aimee: I’m sorry, I’d let you come if I could bring more than one! I just want to go to this ball with my husband. I want to dance. I haven’t danced in so long.
Victoria: I get it. I’m sorry for being a pain in the ass.
Aimee: You’re not a pain in the ass.
Victoria: Your mom would disagree.
Aimee: She can be a pain in the ass. Don’t ever tell her I said that.
Dave: So I’m going to this ball.
Aimee: You’re damn right you’re going.
Dave: All right, when is this?
Aimee: Saturday.
Dave: Oh. I guess I need to get a tux.
Aimee: I guess you’d better!
Victoria: You know, I have some very fancy, elegant dresses that I could wear if you needed me to!
Aimee: Aunt Vic!
Victoria: Sorry, sorry.
The next night, Aimee and Dave are laying in bed.
Dave: Honey… are you awake?
Aimee: I just laid down five minutes ago, of course I’m awake. I’m a mom of three, I’m not in my early twenties anymore. I don’t just fall asleep right away, I toss and turn long enough to watch like three Golden Girls episodes.
Dave: Can I tell you something?
Aimee: Don’t make it too long, I’d like to be asleep by midnight.
Dave: It’s ten thirty.
Aimee: Exactly. It’s way past my bedtime.
Dave: I know you’re excited about this ball, but my work called, they need me to fly home to meet with a client in person on Friday.
Aimee: Can’t you Zoom?
Dave: It’s a big client.
Aimee: I’m a senator now, you can quit. We’re doing well enough.
Dave: You want me to quit because of a ball?
Aimee: Not entirely! I just think, you know, why work if you don’t need to?
Dave: I feel like quitting my lifelong work because of a conversation in bed at ten thirty isn’t the wisest move to make in life.
Aimee: Do you not trust me? Do you not love me?
Dave: I can still make it to the ball, it’ll just have a slight hurdle now. On the plus side, I don’t need to buy a new tux anymore! I can bring one from home!
Aimee: You’re sure you can make it.
Dave: I’m sure.
Aimee: All right, I feel okay about this, then. You don’t have to quit. Though, if you do offer to quit, we can have sex right now.
Dave: You’re offering sex in exchange for me quitting my job. That a turn on for you?
Aimee: I’m just using what I’ve got to influence you.
Dave: It feels exploitative.
Aimee: I know my power, okay? I’ll use it how I see fit.
Dave: I thought you wanted to get to sleep.
Aimee: I’m willing to delay it a bit to get what I want.
Dave: Just go to sleep, babe.
Aimee: That’s hurtful.
Dave: I’m not quitting.
Aimee: Hand me my sleep mask.
Dave: You use that again?
Aimee: Only when I’m extra stressed and need the help to fall asleep.
Dave: Did I upset you?
Aimee: No, I’m fine. Looking forward to my ball.
Dave: So am I, sort of.
Aimee: Good night, Dave.
Dave: Good night, Aimee. I love you.
Aimee: Not quite enough. But I love you regardless.
Four days later…
Dave: Babe, I have bad news.
Aimee: Shocker! What now? Did my mom do something?
Dave: There’s a snowstorm over here, they canceled all the flights.
Aimee: All of them?
Dave: All of them.
Aimee: I told you you should quit!
Dave: Not this again!
Aimee: This meant a lot to me! I’m finally gelling, fitting in with these Senate people, and this is a great opportunity to socialize with them even more. Social bonds are so important to help get things passed here.
Dave: You can still go!
Aimee: I’m not going to have any fun without you! That’s the other part of it - we don’t ever get to do fun things anymore. I love you, you’re amazing, but I feel like we never go anywhere. Between my work and the kids, whenever we’re together, we’re busy being distracted by other things. This was a chance to finally do something away from home, away from the kids, just us.
Dave: I know. How about we make a point when you have any free time at all that we’ll go out and do whatever it is you want? Go to dinner, see a movie, go golfing - I don’t care, it’ll be your choice. I screwed up putting the job first, you matter more to me than anything else in the world.
Aimee: That sounds good. I’m glad you’re listening to my feelings and not just telling me I’m nuts.
Dave: You are nuts, but that’s what I love about you. You set so many unrealistic goals and then you somehow achieve them. Look at you, you’re a US Senator!
Aimee: Entirely by accident, too! I’m just that good!
Dave: Hey, think of it this way, your aunt will be ecstatic!
Aimee: That’s a good point. Victoria will get what she wants.
Dave: She somehow always does.
Aimee: She has incredible powers.
Dave: I’ll let you go, I know you have to get ready. I’m sorry again.
Aimee: I’m sorry I made you feel bad. And I’m sorry I tried to make you quit your job.
Dave: It’s fine. Lingering sex over my head was upsetting, but I learned my lesson.
Aimee: Happy wife, happy life, yes. Sometime’s the wife’s wrong, though, maybe don’t make rash decisions because of her. She’s tired at night, she doesn’t thing clearly.
Dave: I’ll talk to you soon, okay?
Aimee: All right, bye!
Aimee hangs up.
Aimee: Victoria! Amazing news!
Victoria: What?
Aimee: Oh my god, you look awful!
Victoria: I’m not well.
Aimee: Do we need to get you to a hospital?
Victoria: It’s just a headache, it’s nothing serious.
Aimee: Well, Dave can’t make it to the ball, so if you want to come -
Victoria: Oh, god, I’m sorry. I’m not to it at all. I can’t even look at the light, it hurts my head.
Aimee: Oh, crap. I’ll figure something out. You feel better, okay?
Victoria: Draw the blinds, please, if it’s not too much trouble.
Aimee: I can do that.
Aimee walks into her bedroom and calls her parents.
Aimee: Mom! I need help!
Cherie: Who hurt you? What’s going on? Are you safe?
Ernesto: Do we have to cut a bitch?
Aimee: I’m fine! I just need advice!
Cherie: Oh, thank god. We couldn’t get to you even if we wanted to with this snowstorm.
Aimee: I got invited to the Congressional Ball, and Dave is stuck in Washington and Victoria is sick. I have no one to go with.
Kimmy: I’m not afraid of any snow, I’ll be out in a jiffy!
Cherie: No, you won’t be!
Aimee: I don’t expect any of you to fly out here, believe me. I just need advice on what to do. Do I go alone like a loser?
Kimmy: Independence is in right now. It’s empowering. It makes you a girlboss.
Ernesto: What does that even mean?
Kimmy: It means she’s tough and strong and in charge.
Ernesto: Just say that.
Cherie: Do you have any friends that you could call at short notice?
Ernesto: What about Denise?
Aimee: Denise doesn’t really “do” social events.
Cherie: You have lots of friends in Congress, surely they’d let you hang around them/
Aimee: You know, Alec wasn’t invited, and he’s staying in town this weekend because the snow is supposed to travel to Illinois and it would impact his ability to fly back to DC to vote on Monday. I could ask him! You guys always know best! Thank you, you’re lifesavers.
Kimmy: We literally did nothing, but we appreciate the credit regardless.
Aimee hangs up and calls Alec.
Alec: Aimee! What’s up?
Aimee: I need you to do me a favor!
Alec: What kind of favor?
Aimee: I need you to go to the Congressional Ball with me. Dave can’t make it into town, Victoria’s sick, you’re a strong second alternative.
Alec: That’s flattering. I don’t know if I fit in, though. I’m in Congress and I wasn’t even invited! I’d feel like a real loser.
Aimee: Eh, I say they’re the losers for not inviting you. Let’s show them what they would’ve been missing!
Alec: If it’ll help you, my dear friend, I will go. See you tonight!
Aimee: Thank you!
Later that night, at the ball…
Alec: Wow! You clean up nicely!
Aimee: I can’t tell you the last time I wore a dress!
Carolyn: Yeah, your typical style is more in the line of…
Lynette: A business-minded lesbian.
Aimee: Excuse me?
Lynette: It’s not a bad thing! I love lesbians, I love all the gays. My sister is one!
Gwen: I heard a mention of gays, was someone looking for me?
Carolyn: No, Gardenia.
Gwen: And yet, none of you would be here without me! In fact, what is he doing here?
Alec: I was Aimee’s plus-one.
Gwen: Oh! I didn’t know you were having marital problems, AFD.
Aimee: He’s just at home for work. He did want to be here.
Gwen: That’s the excuse they all use. Trust me, kid, something’s up.
Carolyn: Ignore her, she’s on her fourth husband by now.
Gwen: I’m on my second!
Alec: I really do feel out of place here, though. It’s like everyone knows I’m not really supposed to be here.
Carolyn: Alec, no one is even looking at you. They’re all too busy being vain and trying to fix their own hair and makeup in case they get photographed.
Lynette: That’s exactly what you’ve been doing.
Carolyn: I never claimed to be any different than them, did I?
Lynette: I think we all belong here, and none of us look out of place. We’re all accomplished members of Congress and we look like it!
Geraldine: Hey, Aimee! Is that your husband? It’s so nice to finally meet him!
Alec: Senator, I’m Alec Kefauver, the congressman for Illinois’s 16th District. You’ve spoken with me about running for Senate.
Geraldine: Oh! Right! Sorry, there’s just so many of you, I can’t remember you all!
Alec: I’m apparently one of the less memorable ones, too, considering I’m only a plus-one and not an invitee.
Geraldine: Don’t let that get to you. These people are all judgmental snobs, don’t let their opinions of you impact you at all. It’s not worth fretting about egomaniacs.
Alec: I appreciate that.
Aimee: See, Alec, you don’t fit in, but it’s for a good reason! You’re human!
Greg: Gerry! Get over here, I want to dance!
Geraldine: See, this is what happens when neither of our spouses can show up, I gotta dance with an idiot.
Lynette: Oh, I love this song! Carolyn, do you want to dance?
Carolyn: Me? With you?
Lynette: Yeah!
Carolyn: I’m not a big fan of this song, honestly.
Lynette: Who can hate Whitney Houston?
Carolyn: It’s just, uh… I get so emotional.
Lynette: Yes, that is the name of the song.
Alec: Aimee, you wanna dance?
Aimee: Yes! Unlike Carolyn, I’m not stuck-up and afraid of looking silly in public!
Carolyn: Oh, you wanna see silly? I’ll give you silly, it’s on!
What did you think of this episode of Evergreen Aimee? Let us know in the comments, and make sure to read the new episode next week!
