Annie returns to her hotel room and calls her mom.
Stella: Honey! I was just watching the game on TV!
Annie: Ugh. Don’t remind me.
Stella: You did so well!
Annie: Mom, I had more turnovers than assists. Once again. Thank god we have DA, we’d have lost by thirty if it were up to me.
Stella: But you had a lot of points!
Annie: Nine.
Stella: Honey, I’m your mother, I’m trying to think of some positives here. I watched the game, I know it wasn’t good. Cut me some slack!
Annie: All right, go ahead. Cheer me up.
Stella: You’re in Virginia Beach, it’s beautiful there.
Annie: This is where nana has a timeshare.
Stella: You should’ve told her you had a game, she would’ve come to see you!
Annie: The schedule’s been available from the start of the season, she could’ve come to see it.
Stella: You know your grandmother isn’t good with computers.
Annie: You talk about her like she’s ancient. She keeps up with new technology well enough.
Stella: She had an incident with her Ring camera last week. She called me at six in the morning frantic about it. I wish you’d been around to handle it, I had to call your sister to fix it.
Annie: I’m… so sad I missed that.
Stella: You don’t sound it.
Annie: I feel like that was obvious sarcasm, no?
Stella: It’s hard to tell over the phone. Usually your face is what gives it away. You have such an expressive face!
Annie: Well, I’m sure you saw those expressions on TV today, like after all eight of my turnovers.
Stella: You make high-risk passes, a turnover’s bound to happen sometimes.
Annie: Eight times? And this is the third game in a row where I’ve got more turnovers than assists. I almost had more turnovers than points today!
Stella: Everyone has bad days.
Annie: This often?
Stella: Honey, you’re doing it again.
Annie: Doing what?
Stella: Lashing out when someone is trying to be nice.
Annie: Oh, sorry. I just get so frustrated with myself. I’m better than this, I know it.
Stella: Let yourself make mistakes! You’re a rookie, you can’t put this much pressure on yourself.
Annie: But I really suck lately.
Stella: You don’t suck! You’re just off a little. That happens to anyone. It even happened to you in college!
Annie: Not like this!
Stella: Oh, it did. You just glossed over it because things got better on their own. You played through it.
Annie: Do you think nana has a key to timeshare under the mat?
Stella: Why do you ask?
Annie: I’m gonna go stay there to dodge the media.
Stella: Honey, it’s not that bad!
Annie: I already have my disguise planned out.
Stella: Goodness gracious!
The next day, on the team plane…
Sheryl: Okay, ladies! First order of business, Haas is obviously in a wrist brace after yesterday’s incident at the end of the game.
Fiona: I’m fine, really! Don’t worry about me.
Debra: I don’t think anyone was worried. Carter, were you worried?
Annie mumbles unintelligibly.
Debra: That wasn’t an answer, Carter.
Annie: I’m not in, like, the best headspace right now.
Celia: Did someone bully you? If anyone bullied the cash cow, I’m pushing you straight off the plane right now. No parachute.
Kamala: Isn’t that murder?
Celia: We’re in the sky, the laws on the ground don’t apply.
Alicia: There’s no way that’s true.
Celia: Annie, I’m defending you. Back me up.
Annie: Please don’t kill anyone on my behalf.
Celia: if you insist!
Sheryl: Anyway, Haas did get scans done at the hospital and it was determined that she suffered a minor sprain, NOT a break. She’s day-to-day and can play as soon as the medical team gives the okay.
Fiona: Debra, I’m so sorry to let you down like this.
Debra: Why does she cling to me so much? We don’t play the same position. Billings, you’re another big. You watch over here.
Aubrey: Umm, no thank you.
Debra: I tried.
Sheryl: All right, um, obviously, we are struggling right now. Three straight losses, you never want to see that. Good news is, we’re tenth in the league now. We would still advance to the play-in round if the playoffs started tomorrow.
Debra: So six teams suck more than us? I’m impressed.
Carmen: I’m worried. What the hell is going on in this league?
Sheryl: We have a .389 record right now. Not great, sure, but we’re not even halfway through the season. We can turn this around! That starts in two days in Myrtle Beach!
Melissa: I have a question.
Sheryl: Yes, you will be allowed to visit the beach on this trip.
Melissa: Good, because I’m greatly upset at the lack of beach time I got while visiting Virginia Beach.
Annie: Yeah, you’re dangerously close to looking caucasian again.
Melissa: I like a tan. Doesn’t matter if it’s organic or from a can, I like a nice glaze.
Debra: Maybe rethink that wording. That makes it sound like you want to look like a Krispy Kreme.
Annie: She has roughly the skin tone of a Krispy Kreme.
Melissa: At least I don’t look like Casper’s whiter sister!
Annie: I’m from Pennsylvania, we don’t tan there!
Melissa: Are you guys not allowed to leave your houses?
Annie: I take good care of my skin. I don’t want to look like a wrinkled mess by the time I’m forty.
Debra: Yeah, we’re all so far away from forty. I can’t imagine what any of us will look like then.
Annie: I think I’m gonna take a nap.
Carmen: It’s a one-hour plane ride.
Annie: Just the right length for a nice, refreshing nap.
One hour later…
Sheryl: Hey, Carter, wait up!
Annie: Did I do something wrong, coach?
Sheryl: No. I know I’ve only known you a few months, but I think I can read people well. Something’s off.
Annie: I don’t know what you mean.
Sheryl: I’m your coach. It’s my job to watch how you’re playing in games. The turnovers are not good. I didn’t want to embarrass you in front of the group by bringing it up, but your game is just a little off. Your attitude is different. You’re more reserved, more quiet… in the moments you do speak, you’re not as composed. You’re sarcastic, you’re, well, like Debra.
Annie: I have been spending a lot of time with her, coach.
Sheryl: Yes, and that’s great! Theoretically, spending time together as a teams should help you connect. I’m not seeing that on the court this week, though. You aren’t looking connected with your teammates the court, and mistakes are being made, and I think it’s getting to you.
Annie: Is it that bad? I thought only I noticed?
Sheryl: Carter, uh, Annie, we’ve lost three games in a row. Our best player -
Annie: Aww, you think I’m the best player on the team?
Sheryl: hasn’t scored above fifteen in any of them. Your assist are way down, which is the most impressive aspect of your game. You haven’t hit a three-pointer since the Detroit game where you had thirty-seven points. I have no clue what’s going on, but I think you should get checked out. Do you feel anything wrong with your body?
Annie: I’m a little tired, but that’s normal. I’ve played a lot of basketball this year.
Sheryl: You have, and it’s normal to be tired. We’ve had a tough schedule. But this slump you’re in, it’s what I’d expect to see from someone suffering an injury. You haven’t complained about anything, but I know you’re tough. You don’t want to be a hindrance. If you are injured, though, it’s best to take care of it than let it linger.
Annie: I really feel fine physically. I’m just in my head.
Sheryl: I’m always here to talk. You have the talent to get through this, and if you want to talk with anyone else about it, you know we have a sports psychologist on staff, and she’s great.
Annie: I don’t know. It’s hard when you have to admit you have a real problem, you know what I mean?
Sheryl: It doesn’t make you any less of a player if you choose to seek counseling. It just means you’re working to fix an ongoing problem. You don’t think less of a car just because it has to go in the shop from time to time, do you?
Melissa: Coach, what are you doing? They’re not letting us leave for the hotel until we’re all together!
Sheryl: I’ll be there!
Annie: I know what you mean, coach.
Melissa: Celia wants to know how long, coach!
Annie: We can go now.
Sheryl: You sure?
Annie: Yeah. I appreciate you talking the time to talk to me. It’s nice to vent a little about it to someone.
Sheryl: Any time. It’s what I’m here for.
The next day, at practice…
Sherry: All right, gang, we’re up against a tough team tomorrow, and we’re on a losing streak. The last time we faced the Loggerheads, we lost by nine. We are on one of the toughest stretches of our season. The Empire and the Vampires are the two best teams in the league, the Schooners went to the semifinals last year, and the Loggerheads are fourth in the league. It won’t be easy, but nothing in this game is. Everything I just said, throw it out. It had to be said and acknowledged, because I know you’re all thinking it. It doesn’t have to impact our performance. We’ve taken down tough teams before, facing longer odds. We have the talent to win. Haas has been ruled out for tomorrow, that is a big loss, literally. Having tall bodies on the floor is such a big advantage for us.
Fiona: I’m sorry to let everyone down. I regret diving for that ball now.
Debra: It was a dead ball, too.
Fiona: I didn’t realize that at the time. Letting you down hurts the most.
Aubrey: You hear that, DA? She’s gonna talk more if you keep harping on her.
Debra: Okay, I’ll zip my lips.
Sheryl: I want everyone split in teams of two for passing drills. Since we have an odd number of players, coach McKenzie has agreed to work with someone in Haas’s place.
Roseanne: I’m not going easy on you, either. It’s gonna be a challenge.
Aubrey: Well, I’ll take DA, because she needs someone to take it easy on her at her old age.
Debra: What on God’s green earth does that mean?
Fiona: I think she called you old.
Debra: Don’t you think I know that?
Fiona: You seemed confused.
Carrie Ann: I want Annie!
Melissa: I wanted Annie!
Carmen: Annie’s my best friend, so actually -
Debra: Wait a minute, who said that?
Carmen: I think I get to determine who my own best friend is, actually.
Debra: Annie, you’re great.
Annie: Thank you, I think.
Debra: I just need to know how little Hale socializes with other people if her best friend is actually someone she met less than two months ago.
Carmen: We’ve bonded a lot.
Debra: Not as much as we have!
Sheryl: Everyone, hush! We all love Carter, we all think she’s swell, I’m gonna make the teams. Clearly you are all incapable, hence why we never win games if we are unable to comprehend even this basic task.
Keith: You sure about that, coach? You always say you don’t like treating them like a bunch of kindergartners.
Sheryl: When they’re acting like kindergartners, you have to take it into your own hands. The pairs are… Billings and Montclair -
Aubrey: I tried, Deb.
Debra: I don’t need anyone’s charity!
Sheryl: Foley and Lightlinger
Tara: I have to pass the ball to her?
Celia: That is the typical job of a point guard, yes. You think you can handle it, dearest #4 pick from 2025 draft?
Tara: I will try.
Sheryl: Carter and Hale
Carmen: Yes!
Sheryl: Andreesi and London
Debra: She never talks to me.
Serena: You scare me.
Fiona: Don’t say that, she’s lovely!
Serena: You’re just saying that because she’s watching.
Fiona: Is she still watching?
Debra: She is.
Sheryl: Kessler and Hoover
Kamala: Is she going to bite my ear off like Mike Tyson if I drop one of her passes?
Sheryl: Probably.
Roseanne: I guess that leaves me with DeLuca. I’m gonna make you finally earn that pay! Let’s see if Celia’s a unrecognized genius or, what most fans suspect, an idiot!
Celia: I might be an idiot, but I know better than to trash-talk my own boss.
Roseanne: You’re gonna fire me for doubting your vision in giving her a huge contract to ride the bench?
Sheryl: Coach McKenzie! That is not an appropriate way to discuss one of our teammates.
Keith: Yeah, she’s a really sweet girl.
Sheryl: And a basketball player with great… potential.
Carrie Ann: I know I stink. I’m just not in game shape yet.
Roseanne: Kid, it’s June!
Carrie: I’m a mom, don’t call me kid.
Roseanne: You’re twenty-six. I’m forty-eight. You’re a kid.
Debra: See! Someone older than me! Pick on her instead.
Aubrey: Our coaches are supposed to be older than us.
Sheryl: This is spiraling out of control.
Celia: Leave the game before the game leaves you, Sheryl. That’s what I did.
Sheryl: I can handle them. It’d be great if you didn’t purposely make things worse, though.
Celia: It’s what I’m here for!
Sheryl: All right, teams are set. I don’t want you to worry about shooting. We’re going to do shooting drills later. I just want you focused on passing right now. All sorts of passes. Chest passes, behind-the-back passes, dribble passes, bounce passes, push passes… you name it. As I’ve noticed some of us struggling with passing recently, it’s as good a time as any to brush up on it.
Debra: Ah, great. Carter’s passing to the other team and we all gotta pay for it! Next we’re gonna have to shoot free throws because Haas couldn’t hit one to save her life.
Fiona: I can so!
Debra: 2-12 over your career says otherwise!
Annie: I think I need a minute.
Aubrey: Now look what you’ve done, Debra! She’s upset!
Debra: I was just making a joke like I do with anyone else!
Sheryl: Okay, we’re gonna get to this. Coach McKenzie, thank you for offering to pair up with DeLuca. Hale and DeLuca can pair up instead -
Carrie Ann: Thank god!
Sheryl: until Carter gets back.
Carrie Ann: Dammit.
Roseanne: You’re not off the hook yet!
Sheryl: I’m gonna go talk to Annie.
Debra: No, I upset her, I should go talk to her.
Aubrey: Don’t make it worse!
Debra chases after Annie and finds her in the hallway.
Debra: Carter!
Annie: Debra, I’m not mad. I just need a minute.
Debra: What’s going on with you? You’re worrying me.
Annie: Oh no, now I’ve got someone else worried about me.
Debra: Is there something wrong?
Annie: I have the yips.
Debra: Oh my god! Why didn’t you just talk to me? Did you not just see how bad I was playing when I was in my head about the scoring record?
Annie: That was one game. I’m on a streak. Not a good one. Coach suggested seeing the sports psychologist on staff.
Debra: I don’t want to disrespect the team psychologist, but I have a psychologist back in Denver that I trust completely.
Annie: We’re not in Denver.
Debra: I think she can do video calls.
Annie: You think?
Debra: As a favor to me? Sure. Now, I don’t know her number, so I’ll have to call Whitney. I won’t tell her any of your business.
Annie: You mean that I’ve forgotten how to play basketball? Anyone with eyes could see that.
Debra: You did not forget to play basketball. You committed a couple turnovers, you missed some three-pointers -
Annie: I turned the ball over so many times that we lost a ten-point lead when we were playing Portsmouth.
Debra: Who among us hasn’t?
Annie: They were playing Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet in the arena while we were falling behind and the media has started calling me “Bachman Turnover Overdrive.”
Debra: And my psychologist will help you get through that. Just, maybe avoid 70s dad rock radio stations for now.
Annie: I don’t even listen to the radio. It’s 2026.
Debra: Okay, that dig wasn’t necessary at all.
Annie: I know, that’s Aubrey’s thing.
Debra: So you feel better knowing you’re gonna get some help?
Annie: No. You just made me sound crazy.
Debra: We don’t like to use those words in therapy.
Annie: Oh no, are you becoming, like, my therapy mentor now?
Debra: Do you want that?
Annie: No, just get me in contact with that therapist and we’ll be good.
Debra: All right! Just go back to practice, tell them all is well, and that I’ll be right back.
Annie: Okay, if I must. But I think I’m gonna be paired with coach McKenzie, which scares me.
Debra: No, I think you’ll be paired with Serena.
Annie: I can work with that.
Debra: I’m the one getting stuck with McKenzie, probably.
Annie: I think you’ve earned it.
Annie heads back to the gym, while Debra pulls out her phone and calls Whitney.
Whitney: Deb, you scared me! It’s seven in the morning!
Debra: Are you not usually awake then?
Whitney: I’m not usually getting calls then!
Debra: I forgot about the three-hour timezone difference.
Whitney: So what’s wrong?
Debra: Nothing is wrong.
Whitney: Then why the call presumably from practice?
Debra: I need you to text me Dr. Hawkins’ number. I don’t have it on my cell and Annie needs to see her, like, ASAP.
Annie: Oh, she’s been playing terrible!
Debra: Yeah, she’s really upset about it. Understandably so. I want her to talk with the best of the best.
Whitney: I’m on it.
Debra: God, I just love you.
Whitney: Good.
The next day, in the locker room after the Cougars’ game against the Loggerheads…
Sheryl: That’s what I’m f*****g talkin’ about! Let’s go, ladies! That’s how you close a game! Carter, 23 points, twelve assists, that was CRITICAL!
Annie: I couldn’t have done it without Debra.
Melissa: Get a room, you two.
What did you think of this episode of Foul Play? Let us know in the comments and make sure to read a new episode of Foul Play next Thursday!
