Gwen: Aww, Aimee, are you really leaving already?
Aimee: Already? It’s seven o’clock! I was supposed to go Christmas shopping!
Gwen: Oh my god, it is? Well, in my defense, I’m drunk right now.
Aimee: Drunk?
Gwen: Come on, you’ve never had a few sips of the vino during a long day of Senate floor debate?
Aimee: No! I’m breastfeeding!
Gwen: You’re missing out!
Aimee: Is everything okay, Gwen?
Gwen: Why wouldn’t it be?
Aimee: I just, uh, I want to make sure you’re not suffering from alcoholism.
Gwen: I resent the implication!
Aimee: I get that, it’s just… is the alcohol something you depend on or just something you did today for fun?
Gwen: I don’t depend on it! I just like it! I can stop when I want to.
Aimee: All right. I’ll say I believe you.
Gwen: So Christmas shopping… how does that work?
Aimee: Are you Jewish?
Gwen: No, I’m rich!
Aimee: Do rich people not celebrate Christmas?
Gwen: I have people to buy the gifts for me.
Aimee: Oh, that’s not right! It’s the thought that matters, not the gift itself.
Gwen: So you’d rather get a card I made you myself than a tennis bracelet my assistant picked out for you?
Aimee: Is a tennis bracelet on the table?
Gwen: Again, I’m very rich.
Aimee: Well, I say fa la la la la la la la la.
Nanette: Gwen, I’m so glad I caught you!
Aimee: Oh my god, Madam Speaker! I haven’t seen you in so long!
Nanette: Senator Ferrera Donahue! How are you?
Aimee: Better now that you’re here!
Gwen: Are you sure you’re not a Democrat? You’re looking at her the way the Golden Bachelor looked at his lady when he proposed.
Aimee: Promise I’m not, we’re just old pals!
Nanette: One of us far older than the other.
Gwen: What brings you to the Senate, Nanette?
Nanette: Just delivering Christmas cards to all my old friends who moved on to greater things here. Aimee, I did bring one for you, but it’s so late, I wasn’t expecting to see you!
Aimee: Your lucky day, I guess! I do not have a card for you, but it’s not personal. I know it’s December fourteenth, but I have not written my cards out yet.
Nanette: You’re a new mom in a new job, I don’t expect it out of you.
Gwen: So you have one for me, right? You were calling my name.
Nanette: Actually, no. I wanted to talk to you about legislation.
Aimee: She’s drunk, just so you know.
Nanette: Par for the course.
Aimee: I thought you didn’t have a problem, Gwen.
Nanette: I’m only teasing. She’s usually sober. At work, at least.
Gwen: Today was just special. So many boring speeches about nonsense, I needed some liquid courage.
Nanette: What was this legislation you wanted to discuss?
Gwen: You were the one who wanted to discuss it.
Nanette: Well, I knew someone wanted to! Do I get non credit for thaT?
Gwen: Nan, have you considered retirement?
Nanette: No!
Aimee: I’m going to leave you guys to this. Merry Christmas, happy New Year, hope your holidays are wonderful.
Nanette: Same to you! Hopefully I get to see you a bit more in the new year.
Aimee: That’d be nice!
Two days later…
Denise: Aimee, the gang is here.
Aimee: Oh, jeez.
Denise: You sure sound excited to see your friends.
Aimee: I’m just stressed. Maybe you’ve never realized this, but the holidays are extremely stressful!
Denise: You don’t say!
Aimee: This Secret Santa thing has had me going crazy. I just finally bought my gift yesterday.
Denise: Who’d you get?
Aimee: I can’t tell you!
Denise: I’m not taking part in it. I think you’re free to tell me.
Aimee: I got Lynette.
Denise: Oh boy. What do you get for the woman whose dad was Vice President and has no other identifying features?
Aimee: Ah, she’s not here to defend herself, lay off her!
Denise: She is here, which is the whole reason I came in here.
Aimee: She’s not in the room, though.
Denise: That’s true. We can change that, though. We should - the faster you finish your little Christmas party, the faster we can all go home.
Aimee: Wow, someone’s not feeling the Christmas spirit either!
Denise: It’s not that. I just have so much wrapping to do. Not to mention, I have to pack it in a suitcase so I can fly it all with me to Arizona.
Aimee: You’re from Arizona?
Denise: No, that’s just where my parents retired.
Aimee: Ah, good. I thought I missed some pertinent information.
Denise: I mean, it would’ve been nice if you knew my parents lived there, I do talk about them from time to time.
Aimee: Denise, I’m a new mother working the world’s worst job. I barely know where my own parents live. If it weren’t for them living in the same place since I was five, I probably wouldn’t.
Denise: You know, they’re still waiting out there. Should I let them come in?
Carolyn: We’re getting impatient, Aimee!
Denise: There they are. I knew they were ready too stage a mutiny.
Alec: Yeah, Lynette’s eggnog is getting room temperature!
Aimee: I have a fridge out there, put it in that!
Carolyn: Ah, so she is here! I knew it!
Aimee opens her office door.
Aimee: I wasn’t hiding. All you had to do was open the door.
Lynette: That would have been rude.
Carolyn: That wouldn’t be new for us.
Alec: Aimee, where’s your Christmas sweater?
Aimee: Oh, was I supposed to wear one?
Carolyn: Yes! It’s the holidays, it’s our little Christmas shindig, we need to be fittingly festive!
Aimee: I’m just not feeling it this year.
Lynette: Oh no, we’ve got Ebenezer Aimee.
Carolyn: You weren’t feeling it last year, either.
Aimee: Well, I was heavily pregnant and though I was going to spend the day alone without my family.
Carolyn: What’s up this year?
Aimee: I’m tired.
Lynette: You’re a mom. You’re always tired. That’s one of the most notable aspects of the job.
Aimee: I’m not fully miserable or anything, you don’t have to have an intervention. I already see the wheels spinning, don’t do it.
Alec: We would never.
Aimee: You have in the past.
Alec: We’ve learned our lesson.
Lynette: Ah, Sharon Campbell’s favorite excuse for not holding President Delphy accountable.
Aimee: I’m just not feeling the spirit of Christmas this time. That’s fine, right? I’m allowed to not be excited to rock around the Christmas tree this year, no?
Carolyn: I suppose, but I hope you can at least try to have a fun time. You deserve it. We’ll be on recess in two days, you’ve got two weeks to relax with your family. I think once that starts, you will enjoy it.
Aimee: I’m going to spend my entire recess buying gifts, writing out cards, baking, decorating, going to Christmas shows, watching movies, all that Christmassy crap that leaves me exhausted every year, but now I’ve got even less time for it!
Alec: Just don’t do it this year.
Lynette: Excuse me? Jesus died of our sins, this is the least we could do.
Alec: Get gifts for your family, and worry about nothing else. Don’t worry about decorating, don’t worry about cards -
Aimee: I need to write one for Nanette, at least.
Lynette: What a strange way to say “Lynette.”
Aimee: No, I promised her I’d write her one. She gave me one when I saw her a few days ago.
Denise: You didn’t tell me you saw her!
Lynette: And I gave you a beautiful card from the heart! If Nanette’s on the list, I better be, too!
Alec: Lynette, you’re not helping!
Lynette: Sorry…
Aimee: The decorating and the baking and the cheesy Hallmark movies and the Nutcracker ballet all make my kids so happy. I’d be selfish not to do it.
Lynette: Well… you still have like six days after Christmas to relax.
Carolyn: Or… I know this is a shocking suggestion, you could get Dave to help.
Lynette: Carolyn’s gone feminist! It’s a Christmas miracle!
Carolyn: You really are a Democrat now.
Lynette: No, I just support women’s rights. Most of them.
Alec: Which don’t you support?
Lynette: Let’s not get into that while I’m trying to make Lynette feel bad about herself.
Carolyn: I’m not a “feminist” simply because I think men should pick up the slack. Christmas isn’t a woman’s job! Especially not when she’s the one working all the time.
Aimee: I can’t have him do all that himself. I’m the one who insisted on doing it for the kids in the first place.
Carolyn: Maybe Victoria and your parents can also help. I don’t know, but you shouldn’t take it on all by yourself if it’s stressing you out. Now, how about we put our troubles aside for tonight, play some music, drink some booze, and celebrate Christmas as God intended.
Lynette: You know what they say, it’s not Christmas until you get shitfaced drunk listening to the Carpenters.
Alec: We have to drive home, remember?
Lynette: Aimee’s got space here. And a cot. We can crash.
Alec: Have you asked Aimee about that?
Aimee: Sure, why not? For the sake of Christmas, you know.
Alec: Okay, let’s get drunk!
Carolyn: Aimee, you have to be feeling the spirit a little bit now!
Aimee: I’m certainly about to feel some spirits.
Denise: I’ll just, uh, lock the door on my way out.
Aimee: Thanks Denise, you’re the best!
The next week…
Cherie: Oh my god, Aimee! You weren’t kidding when you said you weren’t feeling very festive this year. This is sad! This tree barely has any ornaments on it!
Aimee: Mom, you’re here to pick up cookies for tonight’s Christmas Eve party, not to critique my Christmas spirit.
Cherie: I know, I know. I won’t shame you, I’m just concerned. Do you not love Christmas anymore?
Aimee: I still love Christmas! It’s just a lot. I’m tired.
Cherie: Why didn’t you ever talk to me about it? You think I’m not tired? I’m eighty! I get tired making myself some toast! I’m barely even alive!
Aimee: Don’t say that!
Cherie: I’ve got a foot and a half in the grave at this point and I’m fine with that. At least it’ll get me away from your grandmother, who is obviously immortal.
Aimee: How’s that going? You don’t talk about her much?
Cherie: Because she’s always listening! It’s awful!
Aimee: Why haven’t you put her back in the home yet?
Cherie: Your father likes this. He’s sick! But it’s Christmas, I won’t talk smack about her. I want to, but I won’t. For the sake of the baby Jesus.
Aimee: Are you sure? My Christmas gift to you can be to give you time to vent.
Cherie: You don’t want to hear that.
Aimee: I don’t, but you shouldn’t keep it bottled up.
Cherie: It’s a holy time, I won’t do it. In two days, though, I’m taking you up on that offer.
Aimee: Okay, sounds like a plan.
Cherie: I gotta get going, hon. I have like six more places to stop, it’s always a crazy rush to get everything done before Christmas.
Aimee: See you at five?
Cherie: Sure thing! And be hungry, we’re eating first thing!
Aimee: Sounds like a plan!
Later that night…
Cherie: Okay, everyone. You all know how much stress Aimee is under and how we need to make tonight great for her so she can have a nice Christmas. She barely decorated, her holiday baking is clearly from Costco, she just scribbled her name and nothing else on our Christmas card, she’s clearly going through some sort of holiday crisis. I think letting loose with her family and getting to have a fun holiday in spite of all of that will do wonders for her holiday spirit.
Manuela: She thinks she has it tough? I grew up poor in rural Texas. You know what we did for Christmas? Tried not to freeze to death!
Ernesto: How cold did it possibly get in Texas, madre?
Manuela: Very! It was the Great Depression!
Ernesto: That didn’t impact the temperature.
Manuela: Maybe not for you.
Kimmy: This has been a fun conversation.
Cherie: Kimberly, you’re not wearing your Christmas dress!
Kimmy: I looked like a present!
Cherie: Exactly! It was cute.
Kimmy: I’m an adult. I don’t want to look cute. I want to look mature.
Manuela: What do you mean mature? You want to have your chichis on display? It’s Christmas, it’s Jesus’s day!
Ernesto: You can’t do that, honey. This is a family gathering!
Kimmy: That’s not what I meant! I’m not insane. I meant I want to dress -
Cherie: Suddenly, I don’t care. I just want everyone getting along in the spirit of the holiday.
Kimmy: We can do that.
Manuela: Don’t speak on my behalf.
Kimmy: Aren’t grandmothers supposed to be nice?
Manuela: You were clearly raised differently than me.
Cherie: And thank god for that. Now, let’s all try to have a nice holiday and do what we can to make sure Aimee enjoys her day.
Manuela: Why does no one ever care if Manuela enjoys her holiday?
Cherie: You’re a thousand years old! Just be grateful you’re even having a holiday! Everyone else your age is six feet in the ground!
Kimmy: Happy holidays!
Meanwhile, outside…
Victoria: I don’t know why we came home for the holidays. It finally wasn’t snowy in DC, now we’re here and it’s a tundra.
Dave: This is what Bing Crosby dreamed of.
Victoria: I bet if he re-recorded that song later in life, it would have been much different. My ass is cold, my disc has nearly slipped from sliding on the ice, and I just want to lay by the fire!
Aimee: You guys really bring out the yuletide spirit.
Victoria: I mentioned being by the fire, that’s festive! That’s where Santa comes down.
Aimee: So she wants to start Santa on fire.
Dave: I said nothing wrong! It was all her. I’m festive. Look at the Christmas lights!
Victoria: They have those in DC, too. And it’s not too cold out there to have to run inside.
Aimee: Let’s just get in there and try to have a nice holiday.
Victoria: You know what? I think I left my pajamas at home! I cant’m stay overnight without pa-
Aimee: Mom will let you borrow a pair of hers. Or Kimmy will. Whoever’s fit better.
Victoria: You’ve got an answer for everything!
Aimee: I’m just trying to survive this Christmas and get to the part of my time off where I actually get to relax. I’m still unsure that that part actually exists, but I’ve been told it’s coming.
Cherie opens the front door.
Cherie: What are you all doing out there? Come on in, it’s Christmas inside!
Kimmy: I think that’s what they’re avoiding!
Victoria: We’re not avoiding anything. We love Christmas, it’s the best! Right, Aimee?
Aimee: Sure.
Cherie: I think you’re going to enjoy this! We spent the last few hours really getting in the spirit to make tonight extra special.
Kimmy: Yeah, mom could tell you needed the extra spirit.
Aimee: I definitely did, and I can definitely tell you tried to up the Christmas factor this year. Good lord.
Cherie: I have lots of fun games planned, lots of festive activities. Everything I know you love that’ll make your holiday something special.
Victoria: When’s the eating? I was told to fast, I need the eating to start soon or I might have to eat Rudolph.
Manuela: The plastic Rudolph? Are you part goat?
Victoria: No!
Cherie: That’s what I always thought she looked like!
Kimmy: What a sweet sentiment to share at Christmas time. Jesus, Joseph AND Mary would all be touched.
Victoria: Don’t you worry, I’ll get her back. I know where she keeps her candy canes, and I know where she sleeps.
Cherie: Are you threatening homicide via peppermint stick?
Victoria: Perhaps.
Ernesto: How could this not put Aimee in the holiday spirit?
The next morning…
Aimee: Oh god, Dave. Is that my mom at the door?
Dave: Well, I hope she doesn’t open it.
Aimee: Why, we’re clothed.
Dave: Yeah, but that would mean she really thinks it’s time to get up. It’s not even seven.
Aimee: She probably wants us to get the presents around the tree.
Cherie (through the door): Aimee! You stay in bed this morning! I’ll do the presents!
Aimee: Thanks, mom!
Dave: Aww, that’s sweet.
Aimee: I have to say, she really did put some Christmas spirit back in me. Last night was fun!
Dave: Unfortunately, I do have “Hey Santa” stuck in my head, but other than that, it was fun.
Aimee: I’m still tired, I’m still feeling run ragged, but last night reminded me of what the holidays are really about.
Dave: Hearing your grandma telling you to keep your legs closed because we have enough kids?
Aimee: The magic of togetherness!
Dave: So I guessed right!
Aimee: I don’t know how many more of these Christmases we’re all going to have together, and I know I just need to enjoy all the ones I’m lucky enough to get. I can stress out about being overworked another time, now is the time to sit back and have a nice time with my family. Well, not right now. Maybe in like an hour. Let’s go back to sleep.
What did you think of this episode of Evergreen Aimee? Let us know in the comments, and make sure to read the midseason premiere in January!
