Marietta Season 1, Episode 23
Runoff
On the day of the mayoral runoff, Tammy is driving Marietta and Milton to the polling place once again.
Tammy: So Marietta, this sure feels familiar.
Marietta: Other than Maria not being here this time, sure does.
Tammy: How is Maria? I haven’t really had much of a chance to ask about her since we’ve been a little busy these last few weeks.
Marietta: She’s good. She’s on bedrest now but she’s due any day. Her and Kyle have been staying with my parents just so there’s always someone home with her just in case.
Tammy: That’s good. I’m sure Patty Lynn’s been driving her nuts, though. Poor girl.
Marietta: You have no idea. When I was pregnant with Kyle, she drove me so insane. She wouldn’t leave me alone. She followed me everywhere, yelled at me if I was on my feet too long, and even gave my co-workers instructions to make sure I was being taken care of during the day. Mind you, I was a member of the US House of Representatives at that time so I think I was responsible enough to deal with my pregnancy all by myself.
Tammy: I guess I’m just lucky that Mitch’s mom was dead when I was pregnant with my kids.
Marietta: That’s an interesting perspective, Tammy.
Tammy: Oh, would you look at that! We’re here!
Marietta: Tammy, you seem so much calmer today than you did the first time.
Tammy: This election is like every sequel every, Marietta - duller, less exciting, and not worth the energy.
Marietta: Not Addams Family Values! Joan Cusack deserved an Oscar for that movie.
Tammy: She did. But this election is no Addams Family Values. It’s predictable. You’re going to win no matter what. We don’t need to stress about it.
Marietta: Is that what you really believe?
Tammy: No, I’m just trying to keep my cool today. I’m a basket case.
Milton: We know.
Tammy: Oh my god Milton, I forgot you were even here!
Marietta: I’ve tried to do that my entire life. It never sticks for too long.
Milton: So funny. I know you love me though.
Marietta: Yes, I do. The way only a sister could.
Milton: Anyway, are we going to vote now or are we just going to sit in the car and chat?
Marietta: I don’t know this is very exciting.
Milton: You’re going to win no matter what, you don’t even really need our two votes.
Marietta: Oh come on Milton, be serious. There ain’t no mountain high enough. Nothing can keep Amy Applewhite from getting elected. Remember?
Milton: Unfortunately I do remember that disaster of a speech.
Marietta: I think the best part was her boasting about winning a primary against an incumbent for her city council seat when the incumbent was her grandmother she claimed to love and respect so much.
Tammy: Betty Benoit saying that New Orleans sent a loud and clear message rejecting you was pretty rich considering you beat her candidate by like 15%.
Marietta: She’s a Republican, Tammy. Me getting 15% more than Amy is obviously just fake news.
Marietta: Anyway, let’s get to the voting booth!
Marietta and Milton hop out of the car while Tammy waits inside. While walking into the polling place, Marietta hears a familiar voice call her name.
???: Marietta!
Marietta: Yes.
Amy: Fancy seeing you here!
Marietta: Lord Jesus, give me the strength.
Amy: Oh, lighten up Marietta. We’re both here for the campaign and nothing else. I’m not the evil person you think I am. I didn’t come here to taunt you.
Marietta: I’m fairly certain the only reason you were even created was to taunt me.
Amy: Well I wasn’t. And I don’t see us as enemies, either. We’re just two people that are varying degrees of liberal.
Marietta: Yes, you once accidentally went to a pride parade and walked away but avoided running away in terror, while I have actually put forward a progressive agenda that won’t take New Orleans back 50 years in time.
Amy: That isn’t fair Marietta. I’m plenty liberal, just not a commie like you are. I don’t even hate the gays.
Marietta: I am not a communist. And what a hero you are, not even hating “the gays.”
Amy: I’m not stupid, Marietta, I know you’re trying to insult me. I didn’t want this today though, I really wanted to be civil.
Marietta: Calling me a commie was you trying to be civil?
Amy: You started it.
Milton: Marietta, let’s just go and vote.
Tammy (from her car): What the hell are you two doing? Go vote!
Milton: Marietta’s currently in a rap battle with Amy or something.
Tammy: Tell her to knock it off, we have a busy day and she’s wasting time.
Marietta: I’m going, I’m going. I’ve schooled Amy enough for now. I’ll finish her off at around 8 tonight.
Tammy: Very good, just hurry up.
Marietta: Is that all you can say?
Tammy: Right now it is.
30 minutes later, Marietta and Milton walk out of the polling place and jump in the car with Tammy.
Tammy: Where the hell were you two?
Marietta: Voting!
Tammy: What, was there an episode The View on in there that you guys wanted to watch?
Marietta: No Tammy, the line was just that long.
Tammy: It was?
Marietta: It was!
Tammy: That’s great! A lot of people turning out to vote in your base is a strong indicator that this is our election to lose.
Marietta: Our election?
Tammy: You know what I mean.
Marietta: I’m just messing with you, lighten up!
Tammy: I’m trying to. But I really can’t wait for this election to be done.
Marietta: I’ve been campaigning for like 5 years straight. It’s 2019 and between this and my Senate run and campaigning for Kate’s primary run for the presidency, I’ve been running and running and running since 2015. Nobody’s more ready for this to be done than I am.
Tammy: This should put some pep in our step again, at least - Stevie Wonder confirmed that he’s gonna be at the party to perform tonight. He felt bad about canceling last time so he made sure to be here this time.
Marietta: That’s great! My entire family is gonna be here too, right?
Tammy: Yes, they are. Except your Uncle Marvin. I know you really wanted him to be here but it’s just not feasible for him since he’s in Australia, I’m so sorry.
Marietta: It’s fine, I’m just glad so many of my family members are flying in to see me. Uncle Marvin will be here in spirit.
Tammy: Susan Sarandon’s gonna be there again, by the way.
Marietta: Oh that’s great! Hopefully this time I don’t embarrass myself.
Tammy: You didn’t embarrass yourself last time. At least, not enough to be considered a top 10 most embarrassing Marietta moment.
Marietta: Gee, thanks. You should have quit while you were ahead.
Five hours later, at Martin and Patty Lynn’s…
Maria: Something’s going on, Kyle. I think my water just broke.
Kyle: What do we do?
Patty Lynn: You get to the hospital!
Kyle: I can’t drive my car! It’s in the shop right now.
Patty Lynn: That is an unfortunate coincidence.
Kyle: Can you drive us, grandma?
Patty Lynn: Nope. Your grandfather doesn’t let me use his car because I’m “irresponsible” and mine hasn’t been inspected and I don’t feel like getting a fine. So just wait a few minutes until Martin is out of the shower and then he’ll take you.
Kyle: I don’t think we should wait a couple minutes. Can I just borrow the car?
Patty Lynn: I suppose, just be careful. And good luck!
Kyle: Thank you grandma. I’ll call you when we get there. Let mom know where we are.
Patty Lynn: Will do!
Kyle and Maria drive to the hospital and Patty Lynn immediately calls up Marietta.
Patty Lynn: Hey Marietta, where are you?
Marietta: With Tammy and Milton, walking back to my house after some campaigning.
Patty Lynn: I just wanted to let you know that your son just left for the hospital. Maria’s water broke.
Marietta: She couldn’t have waited until tomorrow?
Patty Lynn: No, apparently not.
Marietta: Just call them and tell them I’m thinking of them.
Patty Lynn: You can’t call them yourself?
Marietta: No, I have to get ready for the party. This is a big night for me.
Patty Lynn: I know, but this is pretty important too.
Marietta: I’m gonna quick jump in the shower, if I have time after that I’ll call.
Patty Lynn: Alright, see you later. Ooh, by the way, Kyle took our car. Is there any chance that Tammy could pick us up on the way to the victory party?
Marietta: I’ll ask her.
Patty Lynn: Thanks.
Marietta (to Tammy): Hey Tammy, can we pick my parents up on our way to the party?
Tammy: Yeah, we’ll have to leave a few minutes earlier though.
Marietta: we’ll pick you up.
Patty Lynn: See you then!
One hour later, Tammy picks Patty Lynn, Martin and Kathleen up.
Martin: Hey everybody!
Marietta: Hi dad.
Martin: So today’s the day.
Patty Lynn: The day Marietta becomes a grandmother? Seems like it.
Marietta: Oh crap, I forgot to call Kyle!
Patty Lynn: We won’t be at the party for like ten minutes, call now!
Marietta: I am.
Marietta pulls her phone out of her pocket and calls Kyle.
Marietta: Kyle! How’s it going?
Kyle: I’m not sure.
Marietta: What do you mean you aren’t sure?
Kyle: I’m not allowed in the room. Maria kicked me out.
Marietta: Oh Kyle.
Kyle: I know. I tried to be helpful, it just didn’t work. I really annoyed her.
Marietta: Well, uh, go get yourself something at the cafeteria and hopefully the doctor has an update for you soon. We’re almost at the victory party so I have to go, but good luck. I’ll talk to you later and don’t hesitate to call me if anything happens.
Kyle: Will do mom.
Marietta hangs up as the car pulls into the parking lot of her victory party.
Tammy: I think they call this feeling I have “deja vu.”
Marietta: Exactly my thought. It’s like we’re reliving the previous election all over again.
Tammy: We have Edith DeLine coming to the party this time, though.
Marietta: She endorsed me?
Tammy: Oh course! You’re the progressive in this race, she even went out and campaigned for you by knocking on doors.
Marietta: That’s great! I have to thank her when I see her.
Tammy: Maybe you can give her a position in your administration.
Marietta: Maybe. But what position could we give her?
Tammy: Press Secretary, perhaps.
Marietta: That’ll be good. She’s good with the press. Not as good as Milton, but still…
Tammy: Let’s get in there, guests will be here soon and you need to get ready.
Marietta: I need to pick out something to wear for my big speech. I’m a woman after all, so that’s all that the media will care about, not that New Orleans is electing their first female mayor tonight.
Tammy: It is ridiculous, you’re right, but tonight’s your first step towards dismantling the patriarchy and you want to look nice!
Marietta: Tammy…
Tammy: I know, I know. I’m bad.
90 minutes later…
Kathleen: Hey, is that Stevie Wonder over there?
Martin: Uh, I think so.
Patty Lynn: It is! How did they get Stevie Wonder here? And why weren’t we informed of it?
Tammy: Don’t make a scene, you guys. Act normal.
Patty Lynn: How do you act normal when Stevie Wonder is in the room?
Tammy: Just… try. Make some sort of attempt at acting normal.
Milton: This is the wrong family if you’re looking for normal.
Tammy: Please try.
Marietta: What are y’all talking about?
Tammy: Your family is acting like… well, they’re acting like they usually do.
Marietta: Oh, that’s not good. You guys were supposed to be on your best behavior!
Patty Lynn: At least none of us almost passed out two weeks ago in front of Susan Sarandon!
Marietta: She’s the star of my favorite movie ever and you know that.
Patty Lynn: I’m just teasin’ you! We’ll all try not to embarrass you, don’t you worry.
Marietta: Tammy, has the rest of the family gotten here yet?
Tammy: No, they’re on their way. You’re Cousin Gerry and her family just landed and Eliza and Elena are about ten minutes away. Don’t worry, it’ll all be okay.
Marietta: You guys have fun, I’m gonna go take this phone call.
Tammy: Alright, but hurry back!
Marietta: I will!
Marietta answers her call and walks back to her dressing room.
Marietta: What’s going on?
Kyle: The baby is coming soon! Please come to the hospital! Maria’s parents aren’t gonna make it in time and you’re the only person who can get here in time!
Marietta: Kyle it’s a big night for me, I can’t just leave.
Kyle: Mom. Please.
Marietta: I’ll be there soon
Kyle: Thank you!
Marietta grabs Tammy’s keys and gets to the hospital a half hour later.
Marietta: Where is Maria Zander?
Secretary: What is your relation?
Marietta: She’s the mother of my grandchild. She’s giving birth.
Secretary: Oh. She’s on the third floor.
Marietta: Alright, thanks.
Marietta takes the elevator to the third floor and walks out, where she is immediately greeted by Kyle.
Kyle: Mom!
Marietta: Where is she?
Kyle: Right down the hall. Katharine is coming, we just don’t know quite when.
Marietta: You’re really sticking with that name?
Kyle: That’s always been the plan, mom.
Marietta: Just making sure.
Maria: KYYYYYLLLEEE!!!!
Kyle: I better get in there if I don’t want to get murdered.
Marietta: Yeah you should probably get to her. Run.
Twenty minutes later…
Kyle: Mom…
Marietta: Yes, Kyle?
Kyle: Would you like to see your granddaughter.
Marietta: She’s here?!? Yes, of course I want to see her!
Kyle: Then come on in!
Maria: Just you though, nobody else. I don’t have the energy.
Marietta: Nobody else is here, they’re all at my victory party.
Maria: I completely forgot that was today! I’m so sorry, I didn’t even vote.
Marietta: Eh, who cares. This is what is important.
Meanwhile, at Marietta’s Victory Party…
Tammy: Where is Marietta? The first results are about to be announced and she’s nowhere to be found!
Patty Lynn: Did you check her dressing room?
Tammy: Oh, that’s a great point Patty Lynn. Why didn’t I think of that?
Patty Lynn: Are you going to check there?
Tammy: I already did, I’m not a moron!
Patty Lynn: Sorry.
Eliza: I think I saw her drive past us on our way here.
Tammy: What?
Eliza: Does she drive a white Lincoln SUV?
Tammy: No.
Eliza: Then I guess it wasn’t her.
Tammy: Trust me, it was. She stole my car. Where could she be going?
Martin: Maybe she went to the hospital to be with Kyle.
Tammy: Darn, she’s not gonna be back in time. She already missed the Stevie Wonder concert and now she’s gonna miss her being announced as the winner.
Martin: She might come back. Miracles happen!
Tammy: This isn’t TV, Martin. She’s got other concerns, she isn’t coming back.
Patty Lynn: It’s ten after 8! Results are coming in, turn up the volume!
On the TV, The Spin Zone is covering the election.
Dan Freberg: The early results of the runoff election for Mayor of New Orleans are coming in any second now. Do we have them.
Sarah: Yes we do. With 8% of the vote in, The Spin Zone can project that Marietta Landfield, former Senator from Louisiana, will be the next mayor of New Orleans. The full results are on the screen now.
The crowd at the victory party erupts into cheering.
Tammy: We did it!
Milton: Marietta’s really the one that did it but she ain’t here so hooray we did it!
Ten minutes later, Betty introduces Amy at her victory party to concede the election.
Betty: It’s been a long campaign, and I won’t lie, this result does sting us all a bit, but Amy still has plenty to say and she won’t be silenced. Please give a round of applause for Councilwoman Amy Applewhite!
Amy walks out and greets her supporters.
Amy: Thank you Betty, and thank you to everyone out there who believed in my message. We didn’t win tonight, but we started a movement. I called mayor-elect Landfield to congratulate her a few minutes ago, and she was very gracious. She offered me the position as her Press Secretary, which I am happy to accept. I’m thrilled to be a part of her administration because even though we have ideological differences, we both care about this city. I will use my role in this administration to give a voice to all of my supporters, and all New Orleanians. That’s what this campaign was about.
Dan: That was defeated mayoral candidate and apparent Press Secretary-designate Amy Applewhite, who just conceded the race to Marietta Landfield. We have no word yet from the Landfield camp on when she will make an appearance, but we imagine it’ll be sometime soon.
Back at the hospital, Marietta is sitting in the hospital room with Kyle and Maria, getting to know her granddaughter when Sharon, a nurse comes in.
Sharon: Congratulations Senator Landfield!
Marietta: This is really more on Kyle and Maria, but thank you!
What did you think of the episode? Comment your thoughts and listen to the playlist below. Catch the series premiere of new show Bake Your Heart Out next Monday at 8 PM Eastern, and the new season of Marietta starting this fall!
