NUMB HUMOR STUDIOS PRESENTS:
COLLEGE
Season 2 Episode 4
"Starquest"
Written by
William Fry & Michael Ledesma
INT. TARGET - DAY
Andrew, Megan, and Edison stroll down the aisle at Target.
EDISON
You know they deliver right?
ANDREW
We can’t stay cooped up in our apartment.
EDISON
We get out.
MEGAN
For classes.
ANDREW
Besides, it’s good to see what we’re getting before we buy it.
MEGAN
Hey, I’m gonna be at the game department.
EDISON
I’ll join you.
ANDREW
Great, I’ll get the stuff we need.
EDISON
Thanks bud.
Edison and Megan leave.
ANDREW
These are the people I choose to be friends with.
Edison and Megan arrive in the gaming department.
EDISON
What are you looking for?
MEGAN
Nothing, I just didn’t want to help Andrew. Also, I wanted to buy a code to unlock a starship on Starquest.
EDISON
What’s Starquest?
MEGAN
It’s an online game where you captain your own starship. It's pretty fun. One of my ex girlfriends introduced me to it. Now I play it so I can destroy her ships. You should play it. It’s free to sign up.
EDISON
No thank you. I don’t have that kind of time.
MEGAN
What else are you doing?
EDISON
Stuff.
MEGAN
Uh huh.
LATER
INT. APARTMENT/EDISON’S ROOM - NIGHT
Edison lies in bed on his laptop. He is staring at the sign up page for Starquest. He creates an account and starts playing the game. At first he seems to be casually playing but as time passes, he seems to have become obsessed with the game.
THE NEXT DAY
Andrew and Megan are eating breakfast at the dining table. Edison enters still wearing the same clothes as yesterday and looking tired but also awake.
ANDREW
All nighter?
EDISON
Yep.
ANDREW
Doing what? And don’t say studying.
EDISON
I was playing Starquest.
ANDREW
What’s Starquest?
EDISON
The best thing that’s happened to me since Brittaney.
Edison returns to his room.
ANDREW
What the hell is Starquest?
MEGAN
Some online game.
THE NEXT DAY
INT. APARTMENT - DAY
Andrew returns from classes. Edison is sitting on the couch. He is playing Starquest. He is wearing a blanket as a hoodie. Snacks are scattered around him.
ANDREW
Ummmmmmm Edison.
Edison doesn't answer.
ANDREW
Edison!
EDISON
Huh?
ANDREW
Did you go to class today?
EDISON
Nah. I had to liberate a planet and rescue a galactic princess. Oh, by the way, we’re uh out of monster.
ANDREW
We don’t drink Monster.
EDISON
I do. It helps me stay awake. More time to play.
ANDREW
Ok well I’m getting dinner with Gabby and Megan has a night class. Are you gonna be ok by yourself?
Edison doesn’t answer.
ANDREW
Edison.
EDISON
Yeah?
ANDREW
Nevermind.
Andrew leaves.
INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT
Andrew and Gabby sit at a table eating.
GABBY
I talked to Sarah today.
ANDREW
What?
GABBY
Yeah we have a class together.
ANDREW
W-what did you two talk about?
GABBY
Not much. She said she hasn't been able to hang out with us because she’s taking more than 15 hours.
ANDREW
Yeah. Yeah that does take a lot of time. What else did she-
Andrew’s phone rings. He takes it out and answers.
ANDREW
Hello? Edison? Edison what’s wrong? Slow down. What? Ok. Ok I’m coming over.
Andrew gets up.
GABBY
What’s wrong?
ANDREW
I don’t know. Edison sounds upset. He said it was an emergency.
INT. APARTMENT - NIGHT
Andrew and Gabby rush into the apartment.
EDISON
What took you so long!
ANDREW
Edison what’s wrong?
EDISON
The wi-fi! It’s down!
ANDREW
What?
EDISON
I was playing Starquest and I was about to become an Admiral and then… and then… the wi-fi… it just!
ANDREW
You told me this was an emergency!
EDISON
It is!
ANDREW
You have a problem.
EDISON
No I don’t.
ANDREW
You’re freaking out over a stupid game.
EDISON
Stupid game? Stupid game!
GABBY
Guys.
EDISON
That stupid game has provided me with happiness.
Edison goes to his room and slams the door.
ANDREW
I am going to kill him. I’m gonna wait till he’s asleep and then I’m gonna smother him.
GABBY
Okayyyy why don’t we sit down and take a breather.
ANDREW
I got to get him to stop playing that stupid game.
GABBY
Why? Edison’s happy.
ANDREW
Yeah but-
GABBY
Your friend is happy. Yes, the thing that makes him happy is questionable but the important thing is that he’s happy.
ANDREW
Yeah. Yeah I guess you’re right.
INT. EDISON’S ROOM - NIGHT
Andrew enters Edison’s room. Edison is playing Starquest.
ANDREW
Hey buddy.
EDISON
If you've come to stop me from playing the game you’re wasting your time.
ANDREW
I’m not. I just wanted to say sorry for yelling at you. I didn’t realize the game was so important to you. Especially after Brittaney.
EDISON
Thank you. Sorry for freaking out about the wi-fi. Maybe I should consider taking breaks from Starquest.
ANDREW
That would be a good idea.
EDISON
You know, if you sign up, you and I could conquer a lot of planets together.
ANDREW
Maybe another time.
EDISON
Suit yourself. Megan and I are close to destroying her ex’s fleet.
ANDREW
Cool. Well I’m gonna try and salvage my date with Gabby.
EDISON
Sorry for ruining it.
ANDREW
No problem.
Andrew exits Edison’s room.
INT. APARTMENT - NIGHT
GABBY
Did you two make up?
ANDREW
Yep.
GABBY
Good. Now come over here and kiss me.
ANDREW
Ok.
END.