CATHERINE [thinking to herself]
I need something to do other than catherinesmomblog.com. Only so many times I can make fun of my kids. I wonder if they would care. Britney 2 would, but then again she gave me the pictures so she doesn't count. Britney probably wouldn't give a crap.
CATHERINE
I should get a job.
CATHERINE (thinking to herself)
No Catherine, you've already tried and failed at that. Who needs money anyways when they have a place to stay? Actually I need to pay rent. Or is this place fully paid for? I should call Josh to find out. Eh, maybe not. I could just go to the store and get a carton of milk instead.
CATHERINE
Time to go to the store, Catherine.
CATHERINE (thinking to herself)
Why am I talking to myself? Heck, why am I thinking to myself? I should call Nate and see if he wants to go to the store with me. Is that needy? Maybe I'll wait for him to call instead. Eh, why would he want to get juice at the market anyways. Or was it water? I can't remember.
CATHERINE
I should call a driver now.
She waits for 5 minutes at the bottom of her apartment building for the driver to arrive. She gets in the car when it arrives. The driver is NATE.
NATE
Catherine??!
CATHERINE
What're you doing, driving a car for a living?
NATE
I don't do it for a living, I do it for fun!
CATHERINE
I thought you had a really high-paying job. Like, you were maybe some surgeon or whatever you call those people who do surgeries.
NATE
Surgeon. And no, I am not a surgeon. Actually, most of my wealth is inherited.
CATHERINE
So you just got rich without doing anything?
NATE
I also had my business when I was younger.
CATHERINE
What was the business?
NATE
I sold drugs.
CATHERINE
Oh like marijuana?
NATE
Oh no, over-the-counter stuff. I would buy cold medicines and sell them on the streets for barely above market value. I'd say I made a few bucks from it.
CATHERINE
And all this time I thought you were smart.
NATE
I'm sorry, I didn't think it was important to tell you.
CATHERINE
I'm not a huge fan of smart people.
NATE
Oh yeah?
CATHERINE
Yep, I like them dumb, just like me.
NATE
Well that's nice to hear, I suppose.
CATHERINE
If I surrounded myself with smart guys, that would make me feel stupid. Which I am. Don't tell me differently, I know I am. I'm proud of it actually. Did you know I'm my parents' smartest daughter?
NATE
Oh! How many daughters do your parents have?
CATHERINE
Just one.
NATE
I see now. [Pause.] So, where are you going?
CATHERINE
Huh?
NATE
You got in my car, I'm supposed to be driving you somewhere. Then you pay me at the end. Where to?
CATHERINE
Oh, yeah. The market. They sell soda, right?
NATE
I assume. Haven't been in there much since I just hire someone to do it. I'm pretty lazy.
CATHERINE
Mean, dumb, lazy? I can get behind that.
NATE
I never said mean or dumb but I'm not denying it now that you said it.
CATHERINE
What do you say we go back to my place to drink some tea?
NATE
Wasn't it milk? And OK.
NATE drives CATHERINE to the store. She picks up a carton of milk, then NATE drives CATHERINE back to CATHERINE's apartment building.
NATE
Crazy, I used to have friends who lived in this building.
CATHERINE
Oh, what a coincidence!
NATE and CATHERINE ride in the elevator and eventually get to her apartment unit.
NATE
I could swear this was their unit. Never figured out whatever happened to them though.
CATHERINE
Do their names happen to be Pete and David?
NATE
No.
CATHERINE
Fred and Steve?
NATE
No, are those people? Josh and Andrew.
CATHERINE
Crap.
NATE
What?
CATHERINE
I know them. Josh is my brother, Andrew is his husband.
NATE
I thought they were just friends. Guess you learn something new every month, like they say.
CATHERINE
Yeah, our parents moved to Poland and gave them the house, so I moved here.
NATE
Sounds crazy.
CATHERINE
It is.
NATE
So it turns out my new friend is the sister of another one of my friends, and the sister-in-law of yet another of my friends, and those two friends are married to each other.
CATHERINE
Yep.
NATE
I think that for whatever reason this makes me like you more.
CATHERINE [thinking to herself]
I'm marrying this guy, aren't I?