Gretchen: Hey, ladies, I can’t leave too late today. I have dinner plans.
Sarita: Oh, really? With who?
Carol: And the better question is, why are we not invited?
Gretchen: It’s a family dinner. Christina’s boyfriend is visiting from Newport.
Carol: Visiting from Newport? That’s a half-hour away, doesn’t seem like such a grand occasion. We can come.
Sarita: Carol, we’re not crashing Gretchen’s family dinner.
Samantha: What’s this about a dinner? And where is it? I’ll be there!
Gretchen: Oh, see what you two have done?
Carol: I am innocent.
Gretchen: No, if you just let me say I had a dinner and didn’t question it, Pratt wouldn’t have overheard. Now, she’s going to weasel her way into my family dinner plans.
Samantha: I’m right here, you know.
Gretchen: Well aware!
Samantha: If it’s a family dinner, I obviously would never intrude. I respect boundaries.
Gretchen: And yet…
Samantha: I don’t’ think I was the one begging to be allowed to go, say Carol?
Carol: I was not begging, I was telling her: I’m going.
Gretchen: Do you never get sick of me?
Carol: I have no husband, Susana’s in DC, you are all I have.
Sarita: That is so sad!
Esther: You could always come over for dinner at my house, my Michael makes the best clam chowder.
Carol: That’s gonna be a no, Esther.
Esther: I figured. Worth a try.
Carol: It really wasn’t.
Sarita: So, what do we think this dinner’s about? Clearly, Christina’s boyfriend has some reason to gather the family together.
Gretchen: I don’t know, maybe celebrating finally being able to legally drink?
Carol: He’s not that young!
Gretchen: No, really! He turned 21 in May!
Carol: Wow. That’s… something.
Sarita: I think we overstate the age gap, he’s an adult, there’s no reason to infantilize him.
Gretchen: I just worry he’s not mature enough for a serious relationship. Though, they have been together almost two years now.
Carol: What if he’s dumping her now?
Gretchen: At dinner with the whole family?
Carol: He could just be trying to make sure someone’s there to support her once he bails.
Gretchen: Great theory.
Carol: I thought so!
Samantha: I think she was being sarcastic.
Carol: I grasped that.
Samantha: Just saying!
Gretchen: What would we do without her?
Carol: God only knows.
Later that night…
Anthony: So, kiddo, you excited to see your guy again?
Christina Do you have to call me “kiddo?”
Anthony: You’re my kid!
Lucinda: She’s a young woman, Anthony.
Anthony: Oh, shut it!
Christina: No, grandma’s right!
Lucinda: You’ll come to learn that grandma is always right.
Mary: Let’s not get carried away with ourselves.
Lucinda: Trust me, I’m the wisest person any of you know.
Mary: I’m going to keep my thoughts to myself, as I have the knowledge that you won a big bet at the home this week and, therefore, could pay for dinner tonight.
Lucinda: I could. I’m not going to. Let the boyfriend pay. He’s the one that asked us to be here.
Eddie: Speaking of which, where is he?
Christina: He hit some traffic, he should be here shortly.
Lucinda: Hopefully not too long, I need to eat. I haven’t had anything since lunch.
Mary: That was, what, four hours ago? It’s five o’clock.
Lucinda: I have a schedule to keep!
Christina: Grandma, we always eat late, mom doesn’t get home until after five usually.
Lucinda: It was a light lunch!
Christina: Oh, look, there he is! Nick, you remember everybody. Everybody, you remember Nick.
Anthony: Nice to see you again.
Gretchen: Same here.
Christina: Mom, don’t sound so excited.
Gretchen: I’m sorry, I’m just terribly hungry.
Mary: We can tell, you’ve resorted to eating the ice in your water.
Gretchen: It’s not very filling, either.
Nick: I’m sorry to make you all wait, but I’m so glad to be here with all of you!
Mary: Yeah, we’re all thrilled too.
Anthony: Sit down, make yourself comfortable, no need to keep standing. Relax!
Nick: Do I seem nervous or unsettled?
Anthony: Just a bit.
Nick: I actually wanted to talk to the two of you before dinner outside.
Lucinda: I’m sorry, but no.
Toby: Grandma, I don’t think he meant you.
Lucinda: Don’t care. He’s delayed my dinner enough.
Nick: That is fair. This is just sort of important.
Gretchen: It won’t be long, correct?
Nick: Not at all!
Anthony: Then we’d better go before your mother tries to eat the waitress.
Lucinda: At least let us order appetizers!
Anthony: Nobody is stopping you!
Mary: Ah, good, that picture of the calamari has been killing me.
Eddie: I just can’t bring myself to eat squid. The thought just goes right through me. Look how gross they look!
Mary: But a lobster looks appetizing? It looks like an underwater spider.
Eddie: They’re cute! Spiders are not. Nor are squid.
Lucinda Both of you, stop talking about foods!
Eddie: We’re talking about animals, really.
Gretchen: All right, we’re gonna step out. Don’t cause any mayhem. Please.
Christina: I’ll keep them in line, don’t worry.
Toby: Me too!
Gretchen: That does not ease my concerns, but I appreciate the offer.
Outside the restaurant…
Nick: Thank you for giving me a moment to talk.
Anthony: Well, we’re only here because you’re in town, so I figure there’s an important reason you asked us to come outside.
Gretchen: You’re not going to mug us, are you?
Nick: My god, never! No, this is just something I didn’t want Christina to hear.
Gretchen: We don’t keep secrets from her, we’ll have to tell her whatever this is.
Anthony: Gretchen…
Gretchen: What?
Nick: I have to start out by saying that I know you don’t know me all that well, and I know you may be concerned about my age, but I truly love your daughter. I find this tradition a little sexist, a little outdated, but out of respect for you, I’m going to go ahead and ask it anyway.
Gretchen: I see what’s going on here!
Anthony: About time!
Nick: Christina and I have had a wonderful time together, and we live together in Newport during the school year now, and we’ve just grown so close, and I can’t imagine life without her.
Gretchen: You should try to, at least a little. It’s healthy!
Nick: I want to marry Christina, and I want your blessing to ask her.
Gretchen: I need a drink. My mouth is dry.
Anthony: After you ate all that ice?
Gretchen: It’s hot out, I’m sweating.
Nick: So, what are we thinking?
Anthony: Gretchen?
Gretchen: Anthony?
Nick: You don’t seem sold.
Anthony: You’re a good kid. You’re respectful, you make Christina happy. Do I think it’s a little soon, that you’re a little young? Yeah, I do. But you two are adults, and you’re good together. You’ve got my blessing.
Gretchen: I mean, I’d look like a real ass if I didn’t give my blessing now, no?
Nick: I would never call you that!
Gretchen: Of course not, you’re trying to sell me on something. Can’t blow it now!
Nick: Is that a yes, or…?
Gretchen: I’m certainly not going to try to stop you. I can’t imagine I’d ever hear the end of it from Christina if I tried!
Nick: So, I’ve got the ring, and I’m going to do it tonight, then. After we eat, don’t worry!
Gretchen: Ah, thank god, my mom might’ve stepped in and turned you down on Christina’s behalf if you tried to delay her main course any further.
One hour later…
Lucinda: Wow, that was good.
Gretchen: You ate maybe a quarter of it.
Lucinda: Yeah, I filled up on bread and appetizers.
Eddie: She kept eating MY appetizer.
Lucinda: You had a big plate of mozzarella sticks, I can’t have one?
Eddie: You had six.
Lucinda: Which was -
Eddie: They brought eight out.
Lucinda: I was starving.
Mary: I offered you some calamari.
Eddie: We’ve been over this.
Lucinda: I’m ready for dessert now!
Gretchen: Dessert?
Nick: Before dessert, I actually had something I had to ask.
Lucinda: No, I’m not paying. Why does everyone think I’m paying just because I won a grand betting on this week’s Indiana Fever game?
Gretchen: A grand? How much are you old freaks betting on the WNBA?
Lucinda: This was a big one, all the old folks were very excited about it. Big bucks for me!
Anthony: Anyway, I think we should let Nick ask whatever it is he wants to ask.
Christina: Yeah, you guys never let him talks.
Lucinda: All right, fine, I’ll be silent, like a reprimanded child.
Gretchen: About time.
Nick: Christina, I have to ask you something. I’ve been thinking about this for a while, I don’t think there’s any better time to ask it than when I came out here to Providence to spend time with your family. I have had an incredible time with you the last two years, and I can’t imagine my life without you. I really believe this is true love, that we belong together.
Toby: I was in the bathroom, what’s going on?
Mary: Shh!
Eddie: I think we’re about to see something sad.
Mary: Eddie, why would you say that?
Christina: I can hear you! All of you! Nick, continue.
Eddie: She’s not stopping it, that’s a good sign.
Nick: Christina Rachel Morley, will you marry me?
Christina: Wow! I didn’t realize this was even something you were considering! We haven’t really talked that much about this.
Eddie: I told you, didn’t I?
Mary: Eddie…
Christina: You know, sometimes you gotta go with your heart. You acted with your heart, and Ill act with mine: yes, I’ll marry you.
Lucinda: I’m still not paying for dinner.
Later that night, when Gretchen and Anthony settle into bed…
Gretchen: So, are we gonna talk about it?
Anthony: Talk about that?
Gretchen: What YOU allowed to happen.
Anthony: ME? You were supposed to lay down the law! You’re the governor!
Gretchen: I’m tired of being the mean one!
Anthony: I’m always mean to your mother for you!
Gretchen: And you love it!
Anthony: I do.
Gretchen: You know, they do say that one of the major aspects of parenting is letting your kids make their own mistakes.
Anthony: That usually entails letting them failing an assignment at school, or letting them play a sport they’re not cut out for, not marrying someone that’s not ready for such a commitment.
Gretchen: I don’t know if it’s really up to us to determine that.
Anthony: I guess it’s really not. I just worry about her.
Gretchen: That’s natural. That’s called being a parent. That doesn’t go away.
Anthony: It did for your mother!
Gretchen: Oh, she worries about me. Worries I’m gonna do something to embarrass her. That counts!
The next morning…
Lucinda: All right, gang! I’ve been up since 4 AM and I am wired!
Gretchen: There a reason for that?
Lucinda: Planning a party!
Gretchen: Since when do you plan parties?
Lucinda: I’ve always been social!
Gretchen: Not in any way that is at all beneficial.
Christina: Ah, what a lovely morning!
Lucinda: I’ve been up so long, its practically afternoon for me!
Gretchen: It is seven in the morning.
Anthony: Your grandmother’s planning a party.
Christina: I love a party! What sort of party does she have in mind?
Anthony: We don’t know!
Lucinda: An engagement party, for you and Nick!
Christina: Oh my gosh, that’s so sweet!
Gretchen: I assumed it was that, but I vividly recall you refusing to hold one for Anthony and I, so I thought it just couldn’t be true.
Lucinda: The difference is, this relationship is worth celebrating.
Anthony: I recall you saying that in your toast at Mary’s wedding.
Gretchen: And that worked out AMAZING!
Lucinda: I can’t stand your snark sometimes.
Gretchen: Feeling’s mutual!
Later that day, at work…
Jeanne: Is she usually this late?
Carol: Not really, and she picked a bad day to be so late. Her daughter’s boyfriend came to town and the whole family had dinner with him, we want to know what’s for.
Jeanne: Who is “we?”
Sarita: Me and Carol, at least.
Samantha: And me!
Sarita: Why are you always here?
Samantha: I have a job in name only!
Sarita: That is true.
Carol: What if Christina’s boyfriend is a killer and he kidnapped Gretchen to torture her?
Sarita: Wasn’t there a right-wing militia that planned something similar?
Jeanne: I think we’’d know by now if the governor had been kidnapped.
Samantha: If not, though… I’d have a real job!
Carol: Pratt, that is not right!
Samantha: Factually, it is.
Carol: You’re hoping Gretchen’s been kidnapped and slain just so you can get a promotion?
Samantha: No! I’m just saying, if that tragedy did take place, I would be -
Gretchen: What tragedy?
Samantha: Nothing!
Carol: Oh, she’s here! What happened last night?
Gretchen: Well, Christina got engaged.
Carol: Aww, I’m so sorry to hear that.
Jeanne: Excuse me?
Carol: Gretchen thinks Christina’s boyfriend is too young to settle down.
Jeanne: Ah. Well… good luck with that!
Jeanne leaves.
Gretchen: What was she even here for?
Sarita: Annoyance.
Gretchen: She’s good at that!
Carol: So what are you going to do?
Gretchen: Support her, and hope to be proven wrong. Mom is very excited, she’s planning a massive engagement party. You’re all invited. Even you, Pratt.
Samantha: Yes!
Gretchen: That’s just sad.
Carol: You sure about this?
Gretchen: It’s happening.They didn’t delay my arrival by forty-five minutes AND make me miss Al Roker’s weather report today just to not have this party. And it’s gonna be great, and it’ll be happily ever after, let the choir sing.
Carol: Okay, glad you’re confident.
Sarita: I’m gonna be busy that day.
Gretchen: I didn’t say what day it was.
Sarita: I’m going on a trip, I’ll be in Ghana for the next two months feeding starving children.
Gretchen: Good to hear, it’s in three months!
Sarita: Dammit! That was a great lie, too!
Carol: It really was not.
Gretchen: Also, the party’s in two weeks, so we’ll see you there!
Sarita: My life is a nightmare.
Jeanne: That much is apparent based on who your boss is!
Gretchen: You’re still here.
Jeanne: I forgot my fancy pen. I was using it to doodle.
Gretchen: You drew me with devil horns?
Carol: She’s a pretty good artist, actually.
Gretchen: If only she’d taken up a career in art instead of elected office. Would’ve saved us all many headaches.
Two weeks later…
Gretchen: Honey, what’s wrong? The party was great, why are you crying? And where’s Nick?
Christina: The party was not great!
Gretchen: It was a bit to saccharine for my taste, I will admit -
Christina: It’s not about the theme of the party, that was all party. It’s just… it was too grand.
Gretchen: And we’ll tone it down for the wedding. Your grandmother won’t be in charge of that.
Christina: There won’t be a wedding.
Gretchen: You are not eloping, kid! In fact, I’m hoping for a long, drawn-out engagement.
Christina: The engagement is already over. The party scared him off.
Gretchen: Excusez-moi?
Christina: It just scared Nick. Seeing it all put out there like that, he realized he wasn’t ready for it. He let me keep the ring, though. So, I’d say I still got something from this. I’m good.
Gretchen: Oh, screw that! What’s his number, he’s about to get a piece of my mind!
Christina: Mother! No!
Gretchen: I’m just protective, you know?
Christina: I’d rather know now than down the line. It spares a bit of heartache. Not all of it. I’m very sad.
Gretchen: I’m here for you, kid. I always will be.
Christina: Thanks, mom.
Gretchen: Now, how are we going to break this to your grandmother?
Christina: We can keep this from her. I don’t need her to try to poison him or something.
Gretchen: Good point.
What did you think of this episode of Raymond Island? Let us know in the comments, and make sure to read the new episode next week!
