Marietta rushes into her office to pick up her phone.
Marietta: Marietta Landfield speaking.
Milton: Do you not have caller ID? You just blindly answer the phone?
Marietta: I was in the other room and had to run to grab it. It was on the last ring, I had no time to check it.
Milton: What if it was a spam call trying to trick you?
Marietta: My phone filers spam calls out, I knew this was someone important.
Milton: Aww, I’m someone important!
Marietta: Well, important enough.
Milton: That touches the heart.
Kate: Milton, I’m running for coffee, you want any?
Milton: Caramel macchiato, please.
Marietta: You’re at least important enough for the Senate Majority Leader to buy coffee for, good for you!
Milton: Don’t be jealous, she still likes you better.
Marietta: So what’s on your mind? You must’ve called for a reason. Or is it just a slow day in DC?
Milton: No, quite a busy one, especially in our congressional delegation.
Marietta: Pardon?
Milton: One Virginia “Ginnie” Pappadone is stepping down as out congresswoman.
Marietta: Wow! She’s been in politics forever. Twenty years in the state house, fifteen in Congress, what’s she got going on? I hope she’s all right.
Milton: Much like many politicians in the past, she’s following the money. She got an offer to join a lobbying firm.
Marietta: Good for her! She’s been hustling long enough, let her step aside and get a cushy job where she doesn’t have to do pretty much anything. Hell, that’s what I should’ve done, this job is a grind!
Milton: But just think, you wouldn’t get to see mom every day if you worked as a lobbyist in DC.
Marietta: And boy, that would be sad!
Milton: Do you know anyone that could run for Ginnie’s seat? Your endorsement’s going to be the most sought-after one in the game. You can probably pick the next lifelong congressperson from LA-2.
Marietta: Is Moira interested?
Milton: God, I didn’t even think to ask. I don’t think so.
Marietta: Talk to her, she has my endorsement if she wants it. Besides her -
Milton: Aunt Kathleen could run!
Marietta: That’s a good one!
Milton: Or President Yarborough!
Marietta: You have so many jokes.
Milton: What about Maria?
Marietta: All right, that one’s too far. She can barely handle her responsibilities with the two kids, imagine her in Congress!
Milton: Well, two kids is a lot to take care of.
Marietta: That is true, there’s a reason I only had the one. He was enough! And then, later, I got to take care of course for a while. That was beyond enough.
Milton: Oh, come on, she was a perfect angel!
Marietta: Take the rose-colored glasses off, I beg of you.
Milton: All right, she could be a challenge. Not too much of one for someone with your level of parenting skills, though.
Marietta: Flattery will get you nowhere.
Milton: So really, who do you think will run?
Marietta: I don’t really know, but I’m not planning to get too involved. I’ll drop an endorsement of the candidate I like best once I know the full field, closer to the primary, but I’m so tried from all these campaigns. I don’t plan to campaign all that hard this time around.
Milton: So you’re not running?
Marietta: And slink back to my stomping grounds from thirty years ago? I’d rather die.
Milton: Had to make sure!
Marietta: Let me know if you hear about any exciting candidates.
Milton: You do the same!
Marietta: Will do. Now, I’ll let you go. You have a busy life in DC, and a coffee to get to.
Ellie: Your coffee, Milton.
Milton: Ah, right no time.
Marietta: Is that Ellie?
Milton: I think Kate made her go on the coffee run instead.
Ellie: I’m like her butler. It’s sick.
Milton: Right, bye Marietta!
Marietta: Bye, Milton.
Marietta hangs up.
Tammy: What was that about?
Amy: I’m quite impressed that you can still run like that at your advanced age!
Marietta: I am seven years older than you.
Amy: That’s quite a gap.
Henrietta: You know, you’re thirty-one years older than me. Now that’s a gap!
Amy: You shut up!
Tammy: Again, ignoring the squawking hens, what phone call had you running to answer?
Marietta: I hate to ever not answer any of my calls. But this one was from Milton, and it was a very juicy piece of political gossip.
Amy: Are they impeaching him agin?
Marietta: No, why would they need to? We’re having an election in a few months, he can be voted out then.
Amy: They love threatening to impeach the president, I was just wondering.
Henrietta: It’s not like he hasn’t done anything impeachment-worthy lately.
Amy: Exactly, the man’s just breaking laws like he’s trying to break a high score in a video game.
Marietta: It’s not about POTUS. It’s about Congress. Specifically, Ginnie Pappadone. She’s stepping down to take some lobbying gig.
Tammy: She has it all wrong! You don’t leave Congress to become a lobbyist, you become a lobbyist because you’ve been forced to leave Congress!
Amy: That would never happen, a potato could get elected in this district so long as it had “Democrat” listed below its name on the ballot.
Marietta: Hey, I had to fight hard to win that district.
Amy: I wouldn’t spread that around if I were you.
Tammy: So, who are we thinking should run for this? How about me?
Amy: If anyone in this office is running, it’s me!
Tammy: Are you kidding me? I’m much more qualified!
Amy: You were a powerful US Senator ! Why would you settle for a demotion like that?
Marietta: Ahem!
Amy: I said the same thing when you ran for mayor, it was a centerpiece of my campaign.
Henrietta: Wait, Marietta, are you wanting to run? Your term is ending soon…
Marietta: Oh my god, absolutely not! I’d rather die than go back to that animal house.
Henrietta: I know how much you love politics, so I thought maybe -
Marietta: I do not love politics. I’m honestly not sure how I got here. It might just be because it’s the family business.
Tammy: Oh, come on. You run for the state house because it’s the family business, you don’t stick around in politics for a further thirty years.
Marietta: All right, you got me there. I have come to greatly enjoy the political hustle. But I’m perfectly content riding off into the sunset at the end of this term. That’s how it’s meant to be. I’ll have a nice, long retirement. I can learn new hobbies, I can knit, I can be very busy not wasting my days away in the House of Representatives. It’ll be nice!
Amy: But what will happen to us? We’re like family! We’re like Fleetwood Mac!
Tammy: No, we’re not screaming at and screwing each other all the time.
Amy: What I’m trying to say is, we are all meant to be together, you can’t break up this merry band!
Marietta: We can all still hang out. We just won’t have to work while we do it.
Tammy: We don’t work now!
Marietta: That’s… yeah, that’s true. But we won’t even be expected to work once I leave office.
Amy: And what a glorious time that will be.
Tammy: So we have no clue who’s gonna run for Congress. I wonder who’ll step forward.
Amy: We should contact some allies, this would be a great way to solidify the legacy.
Marietta: I don’t really want to get involved. I’m tired of campaigning, I just want to do my job and get out of here, you know? No extracurriculars.
Tammy: That’s not like you.
Marietta: It’s been a tough year. I just need some rest.
Tammy: Well, family dinner tomorrow at your mom’s, that’s rest!
Marietta: That’s even harder work than hitting the campaign trail!
The next night…
Patty Lynn: Marietta, how’s work been? Is that terrible Bethany woman finally giving you a break?
Marietta: She’s irrelevant.
Moira: Sadly, not to me. I have to work with her, listen to her idiotic protests and not laugh at how unspeakably stupid she is.
Kathleen: I wonder if she’s going to run for Congress. She won’t win, but she sure loves attention.
Patty Lynn: What do you mean? Why would she do that?
Kathleen: Don’t you know?
Patty Lynn: Know what? I assure you, nothing happens in this city without me knowing, I have the greatest connections of anyone!
Kathleen: Our congresswoman’s resigning, Marietta and I were just talking about it earlier.
Patty Lynn: Marietta! You told her and not me?
Marietta: I didn’t realize it was critical news that needed to be shared. We were just making small talk and I mentioned it in passing.
Kathleen: Yeah, don’t get crazy.
Patty Lynn: I could run! It’s be a nice way to spend more time with Milton!
Milton: I think we’ve spent enough time together, no?
Patty Lynn: What is that supposed to mean?
Milton: Nothing! Just a little joke.
Patty Lynn: Better be!
Kathleen: You aren’t seriously thinking of running, are you?
Patty Lynn: I’m… I won’t say the exact number, but enough years old to know what a ridiculous idea that’d be.
Tammy: Hey, Mitch’s Secretary of Health & Human Services ran for Congress in Florida a few years ago at 78 years old!
Milton: And lost us a Koobach+14 seat.
Kathleen: Besides, that’s Florida, the median resident is 87!
Patty Lynn: We should move there, then. We’d be enchanting young vixens in comparison.
Sarah: Please don’t ever use that word again to describe yourself. Or ever.
Maria: Call me crazy, but I think I could run.
Marietta: That’s a good one, Maria! You always have been such a jokester, it’s why you’re my favorite in this family now that dad’s gone.
Patty Lynn: Excuse me?
Maria: I wasn’t actually kidding.
Marietta: Ah, she keeps going! My god, she’s just full of jokes!
Kyle: Honey, are you serious?
Maria: I’ve always wanted to be involved in politics. The kids kept me from having too big of a role in your campaign for the presidency, Marietta, but I’ve always had that itch. I’ve worked on so many campaigns, and I’m involved in the community throughly advocacy for public education, I’m a teacher. I think I could be a good candidate.
Kathleen: Well, you’re certainly more qualified than Pat.
Patty Lynn: I’m incredibly qualified, I’m just also ancient. But a stunning ancient, like the Acropolis.
Kyle: Wait, back things up. Mom, Maria is your favorite?
Marietta: After you, of course, honey!
Sarah: That doesn’t make me feel any better!
Kyle: So, honey, are you really considering running? Or are you just trolling my mother?
Maria: I only just learned there’s going to be a special election, but I’m certainly considering it.
Kathleen: I sort of thought Eliza might run.
Eliza: Ah, lord no! I’m just fine in the state senate, where I have zero real responsibilities and it never impacts family life.
Henrietta: Mom, you have impact!
Eliza: Yeah, me and all six other Democrats.
Elena: Trust me, she’s quite content in her current position. It’s a part-time legislature where her only job is responding to constituent concerns. She doesn’t even have to write bills, she knows nobody in that legislature’s even gonna bother listening to them.
Eliza: Yeah, it’s perfect. I get to call myself a state senator, hobnob with the governor and other important figures, go on the news, cast meaningless votes in opposition of whatever nonsense the Republicans are trying to pass, all while never actually needing to carry the responsibilities that an important political would have. No way would I want to be in Congress!
Marietta: Well, that’s fair. Congress is a bitch!
Milton: Yeah, Maria, you sure about this?
Maria: I need to think it over, I’m just mentioning the possibility right now.
Patty Lynn: Just so you know, if you do run, you’ve got my enthusiastic backing.
Sarah: That will surely win her the seat. What she lacks in elected experience, she more than makes up for in endorsements from her husband’s grandmother.
Patty Lynn: I see no need to be negative.
Sarah: I’m just saying, you’re not the one whose endorsement will sway this thing. More qualified people with more name recognition will jump into the race, she’ll need help from… ah, I don’t know, her mayor and junior senator?
Marietta: She’s got my complete endorsement if she runs!
Tammy: I thought you didn’t want to campaign anymore!
Patty Lynn: Didn’t want to campaign anymore? My daughter? No! Marietta was born to run.
Milton: I didn’t realize my sister was Bruce Springsteen.
Patty Lynn: She has such a mind for politics. Dear, I know this year has exhausted you, it’s exhausted us all, but you have to stay in the night.
Marietta: I’m not going anywhere, I still have three years as mayor. Well, two and a half. I just wasn’t planning on getting too involved in elections anymore. I may have to change those plans, though, especially if my dear daughter-in-law is jumping into this primary.
Tammy: So that semi-retirement lasted less than twenty-four hours.
Marietta: It wasn’t a semi-retirement. Just a goal to dial back the time I spend campaigning. That’s not changing. This is about family.
Patty Lynn: Speaking of family, it is so nice to have us all under the same roof again. It feels so rare for that to happen these days.
Kathleen: Yes, roughly once a week. That is rare to some people, I suppose.
Maria: No, you’re right, we’re not all able to get together like this all the time. I’ve talked enough about this potential campaign, no need to take up any further time discussing it. I’m not even anywhere near decided on it, anyway.
Kathleen: You think about it for a good while. The House is a very demanding and exhausting workplace. I speak from experience.
Marietta: On the plus side, though, she’d be representing a blue district where she wouldn’t need to worry about being swept away like you were. So that’s a bit less exhausting.
Kathleen: My district was blue, too, until it wasn’t!
Sarah: Also, you know, women have their own bathroom at the Capitol now. Not the case when you were in office!
Kathleen: Just when do you think I was in office?
Marietta: Well, the House got their first separate women’s bathroom back in 2011. I was there when it happened, it was a big deal. We senators got one dar before then. You know, 1992.
Kathleen: Well, we had our own bathroom back when I was in office. It was located past the statuary hall in some reading room and had one toilet for all the women in the House, but you have to remember: there were less than twenty of us. It wasn’t so bad!
Maria: It sounds bad.
Kathleen: Well, progress has certainly been made, I’ll give it that. Still, not an easy job! Give it some thought!
Later that night…
Kyle: So about, you know, what was said tonight… are you still serious about that?
Maria: Well, it’s been three hours. Not much has changed in that time.
Kyle: I was just trying to make sure it wasn’t something you spurted out in the spur of the moment without really meaning.
Maria: Oh, you mean like when you proposed the first time?
Kyle: That’s… that did not happen.
Maria: Oh, it did. It’s just not a story we can ever tell your mother. Or especially your grandmother. Because then, the entire city would know you proposed to me for the first time during sex.
Kyle: We both know that was not a serious proposal.
Maria: We were both naked and in bed, so I would hope not.
Kyle: I was young and stupid, I was just really enjoying it, it was really a compliment.
Maria: Well, it delayed our actual engagement by a year, and you didn’t get any for three months, but it did all work out for you.
Kyle: You really thought I loved you for your body and your, how do I say this nicely… skills.
Maria: It’s still possible, maybe you’ve been playing me this whole time! I’ve been told I could’ve been a model.
Kyle: I’m glad that sentence ended the way it did.
Maria: I could’ve been a basketball player, too. That has nothing to do with my looks, I was just very good in high school. Not so good at softball, though, but I’m veering off-topic.
Kyle: I love you for your personality and your mind, more than anything! That’s why I think you’ll be a great member of Congress. I’m just shocked you’re interested in running.
Maria: I was just messing with you, by the way, I know you love me for who I am. I’m not messing with you on running for Congress, though. I’ve always wanted to make a difference, I’ve always wanted to make my community better. Becoming a mother delayed my ability to do all that much with the community, but I have remained an advocate for public education, I’ve gotten back to teaching - at preschool, but it is something. I’m easing my way back into work, and now I’m ready to take a big next step.
Kyle: You sound pretty determined.
Maria: I need to get a team together, maybe your mom can help with that. But I want to run. Only if you want me to, though. It would require living in DC or being split up.
Kyle: I’ll be by your side always. My job is accommodating, we’ll figure it out. If you believe in yourself, then I believe in you.
Maria: Aww. You really do love me.
Kyle: Of course I do!
Maria: You know what really pushed me to run, besides just wanting to represent the city? Your mother and uncle aren’t getting any younger, and she’s term-limited and he’s a Democrat running in Louisiana. Someone has to keep the dynasty alive! You have no interest, and Sarah is Sarah. So why not me?
Kyle: It’s not really your burden to bear. Don’t run just because of that.
Maria: It’s just a cherry on top. Maria Landfield: Dynasty Saver.
Kyle: Saying things like that will make it a bit harder to position you as a fresh outsider, maybe let’s not highlight it too much.
Maria: We’ll talk with my consultants about that.
One month later…
Marietta: Milton, isn’t this thrilling?
Milton: I’ve just flown straight from DC after a long night of voting just to be at this launch. I’m happy for Maria, but there’s pretty much nothing I’d consider “thrilling” at this point, short of a nap in a comfortable bed.
Moira: At least your speech was nice.
Kathleen: There’s still plenty of time for her to change her mind.
Patty Lynn: I really don’t think there is. The rally’s been going on for an hour.
Amy: Besides, she’ll make a fine member of congress. She has the two most important factors: a notable name and rich donors lining up behind her.
Tammy: Come on, I’m not that rich.
Amy: Seriously, though, I like Maria a lot, but do most upstart House candidates typically get a former president and his first lady and their state’s current and former senator to speak at their kickoff rally?
Mitch: I wanted to help in any way I could!
Amy: Hey, I’m by no means begrudging it. I’m just saying, she’s got quite the leg up out of the starting gate.
Maria: Hey, my consultants said I should lean into it. There’s no way to run from being a Landfield, might as well embrace all of the possible benefits of it.
Marietta: Speaking of which… I think Kyle’s done introducing you. Time to go shine!
Maria: I’m nervous!
Marietta: You’ll be just fine! The crowd is hyped, you’re a great speaker, and you know this district. Time to go show everyone why you deserve to be their congresswoman.
Maria: All right, here I go!
Marietta: I’m gonna be honest with you guys… I thought she was pulling our leg until, like, a week ago. I never knew this was something she wanted to do!
Amy: It’s gonna be interesting.
Marietta: Another four months spent campaigning. Not quite how I expected this year to go!
Tammy: To be fair ,you were prepared to be doing this on a national scale. Campaigning around our congressional district is nothing in comparison!
Marietta: That’s an interesting spin, Tammy.
Tammy: It’s a correct one!
Marietta: I just hope this goes well.
Kathleen: Yeah, we can’t have her embarrassing the venerable Landfield name!
Marietta: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
Kathleen: Come on, people respect us!
Marietta: Eh.
What did you think of the season finale of Marietta? Let us know in the comments and make sure to read the midseason premiere of Raymond Island next week! Marietta will return for season eight in the fall!
