Kurt: long-term reliever
Lorenzo: middle-relief pitcher
Jason: bullpen coach
Robert: 8th inning/setup pitcher
Bryan: closer
Eli: left-handed specialist
All: benchwarmer
Bryan: We finally did it. We all made it to the All-Star game.
Robert: And we have nice seats too.
Eli: Who do we want to win again?
Kurt: What's it matter, none of us are playing.
Lorenzo: Any chance we do play, Coach?
Jason: We're sitting in the stands. We had to buy these tickets ourselves.
Lorenzo: So yes?
Jason: No.
Lorenzo: So no?
Jason: Yes.
Lorenzo: Now I'm confused.
Jason: You're not playing Lorenzo. None of you are.
Announcer: And now, please rise for the National Anthem.
*National Anthem is sung.*
Kurt: That was a poor song choice. We're at the All-Star game, should've played that song from that movie about a green guy and his donkey.
Robert: Maybe they'll play it at the fifth inning stretch.
Jason: Do either of you pay any attention to when songs are sung at baseball games? They play the same songs at the same parts of the game every game. Let's just pay attention to the game.
Eli: I'm gonna just go to the gift shop and buy a souvenir baseball. Haven't gotten my hands on one of them in a while.
Lorenzo: Get me a hot dog while you're down there.
Kurt: I'll take one of those too.
Jason: Hey can you get me a soda? Any kind will do.
Bryan: Get some nachos too. Three orders.
Robert: I'll take some cotton candy.
Lorenzo: Oh me too! Takes me back to the time when I--
Kurt: Ran across the field in the middle of the game to get cotton candy, we know and we don't need to be reminded.
Lorenzo: Wonder if they have any cotton candy here.
Kurt: They probably do. And you're not running across the field to get some.
Robert: 20 bucks says he does.
Kurt: Don't encourage him.
Jason: Can we focus on the game? Here, I brought all of your gloves in case foul balls come our way.
Bryan: But what if we drop the balls and it's on TV?
Jason: Then they'll understand why you're all pitchers. If you can call yourselves that.
Robert: Do you ever miss being an almost-pitcher yourself?
Jason: Well Robert...kind of. But I also get paid more for this gig. I don't really do anything and I get paid for it!
Lorenzo: I don't do anything period and I get paid for it.
Kurt: Here comes a ball!
Lorenzo: I got it!
*The ball hits off Lorenzo's glove and into the hands of a young child.*
Lorenzo: No I don't. Hey mind passing me that ball?
Child: Why?
Lorenzo: So I can have it, why else?
Child: Aren't you already a pitcher? Why do you need this ball?
Lorenzo: You recognize me?? Guys, I have a fan!
Child: They don't let you pitch enough, Mr...sorry what's your last name again.
Lorenzo: You can call me by my first name.
Child: OK. They don't let you pitch enough, Lorenzo.
Lorenzo: He knows my name!! And I've been saying that for months! Right Coach?
Jason: No but sure.
Lorenzo: I'm a celebrity! I've been a celebrity this whole time and I didn't know it!
Eli: You mean, you're an All Star?
Lorenzo: I guess I am, Eli. I guess I am.
Jason: Congratulations, Lorenzo.
Lorenzo: So when do I go in the game?
Jason: You don't. We've been through this.
Lorenzo: 0.00 earned run average! I did it!
Jason: If you say so.
