Teri: I can’t believe you’re going to watch Death Seekers 7. And without me!
Betty: It’s Halloween, I want to see a horror movie!
Karl: And she certainly made it known.
Cindy: I think the entire state knows.
Frank: We’re actually a commonwealth.
Cindy: Cool.
Teri: You always called the Death Seekers movies “those stupid movies” when we were teenagers! You forbid us from watching them!
Betty: Because they were inappropriate for kids your age! I’m eighty years old, I’m mature enough to see any movie I want!
Jerry: You sure about that?
Betty: What does that mean?
Jerry: You have some child-like tendencies. Say, Cin?
Cindy: Oh, I’m not wading into that.
Betty: Did you just call me a child?
Jerry: It was meant as a compliment. Partially.
Betty: I don’t think that it was!
Jerry: You’re just proving my point by being so sensitive!
Karl: Betty, we gotta go. The movie starts whether we’re there or not!
Betty: Yeah, and I don’t want to miss that funny Nicole Kidman ad they play before the movie starts. It always makes me laugh.
Teri: But does it make you cry?
Betty: Why would it - oh, I get it.
Later, at the movies…
Betty: Karl.
Karl: Shh! Don’t talk during the movie! It’s rude.
Betty: Karl…
Karl: What? Do you want me to go get a refill on the popcorn? Because then we won’t be able to take any home.
Betty: It’s not that. Look down the stairs. There’s a man.
Karl: He’s probably coming back from the bathroom.
Betty: No. He’s been standing there. It’s like he’s looking for something. It’s scaring me.
Karl: Don’t worry about it, just enjoy the movie.
Betty: I’m scared.
Karl: The movie’s just getting to you. It’s fine.
Betty: I’m going to see what he wants!
Karl: No, leave the man alone. He probably just forgot where his seat was.
Betty: He’s coming closer!
Karl: His seat is probably up here.
Betty: No one was sitting by us.
Karl: Maybe it’s an employee.
Betty: That makes no sense! What would they be coming up here for?
Karl: I don’t know, but I don’t want you panicking. There’s nothing wrong.
Betty: Fine. If something happens, though, I’m gonna be furious with you!
Karl: You have my permission to be.
A few minutes later…
Betty: He’s getting closer!
Karl: Oh my god, Betty. It’s fine!
Betty: He’s coming towards us!
Man: Excuse me.
Betty: Don’t hurt me!
Betty gets up and runs in the other direction.
Karl: Pardon her, she spooks easily.
Man: We got a noise complaint and I came in to check it out. Have you been talking, or…?
Karl: I think it was the gentlemen down on the side, they’ve been shouting at the screen a bit. If you excuse me, I do have to go check on my wife and tell her you’re not a monster coming to kill us.
Man: I’m sorry for the interruption.
Karl: No, it’s fine. It’s not your fault my wife isn’t normal.
Later that night…
Teri: Mom! What happened?
Karl: She was running away from someone and tripped on the stairs in the theater.
Betty: It was so dark! Not my fault!
Cindy: Why were you running?
Ralph: I didn’t even know you could still run.
Jeanette: I’m jealous, Bet! When I fell, I broke a hip! You fall in the dark, you just have some bruises on your arm!
Betty: Well, you are the older one!
Jeanette: By two years!
Betty: Almost three!
Cindy: No one’s answered my question… why was my mother running at the movies?
Teri: Don’t tell her, she’ll get all holier-than-thou. She always does.
Cindy: I don’t appreciate that insinuation.
Betty: There was a man at the theater. He was acting strange, just kinda standing there. I was very scared. We were watching a horror movie to begin with, and this guy is just lumbering around, slowly walking up steps, standing there, just looking around. It was creepy. I thought he was going to do something. I started hyperventilating when he gets to our row and actually walks over to us. I hightailed it out of there.
Karl: She thought she was going to be murdered by skeleton-face or whatever the heck the guy’s name is in the movie we just watched. And she left me behind as she tried to escape.
Betty: Are you still mad about that?
Karl: I’m not “mad.” I’m just a bit surprised you left me for dead. Even though I knew he wasn’t coming to kill us.
Jerry: What was he coming to do? Kick you out? Because that was a good choice, if he was.
Karl: He got a noise complaint, he was trying to see who it was about. I guess eventually, he just decided to start asking people who was causing the ruckus. Maybe we looked like narcs, I don’t know. I did rat out the talkers, though.
Betty: The guy was actually pretty nice in the end, he got me a band-aid for the scrape on my wrist. I didn’t know it at the time. I was watching a scary movie, it was a very normal reaction.
Cindy: Mom, I think maybe you need to get some sleep.
Teri: There she goes! She loves Jesus and goes to church, that means she knows all!
Cindy: It’s not that! I just care for my mother and think she could use a refresh. She had a stressful night.
Betty: I’m fine, I promise.
Tammi: It’s nothing to do with her religion, either. She’s a principal, she’s used to bossing people around.
Cindy: I don’t boss anyone around!
Jerry: That’s right. I’m the boss around here.
Teri: That is incredibly funny. You’re a joke, mister constable!
Ralph: When are you up for re-election, anyway? I gotta make sure someone runs against you.
Jerry: Crime in this town is down on my watch!
Ralph: From two incidents per year to one?
Cindy: I don’t know if I want you running again, you did get shot…
Teri: I forgot about that!
Jerry: How did you forget about it?
Teri: You are all side characters in the main storyline that is my life.
Later that night, as Betty and Karl settle in for bed…
Betty: Karl…
Karl: What now?
Betty: I’m still freaked out.
Karl: About what? Do you think he followed us home and broke in to ask us about the noise complaint?
Betty: The whole incident is just still freaking me out. My life flashed before my eye! I thought I was going to die! My heart is racing.
Karl: How much? Are you having a heart attack? Should I call the ambulance? We are at that age…
Betty: It’s not a heart attack! I’m panicked.
Karl: Xanax is good for that.
Betty: I took it already.
Karl: How about a melatonin? Eventually, it’ll knock you out.
Betty: I just don’t feel safe. My mind is still racing, I don’t know how to fall asleep.
Karl: Maybe watch TV or something.
Betty: No!
Karl: That was a quick response.
Betty: I don’t want to wake anyone up.
Karl: You’ve never been so courteous before.
Betty: I’m scared a horror movie will be on.
Karl: I’ve never seen you so shaken up before. At least, not in terms of fright.
Betty: I’m telling you, this is serious.
Karl: No one’s coming for you, Betty. It’s gonna be all right.
Betty: I hope you’re right!
Karl: I am. You’re safe. The doors are all locked, the security system is on, you’re safe. Now, get to sleep. This will all be better tomorrow.
The next day…
Teri: Where is mom? She can’t be in bed yet.
Ralph: Yeah, you’ve never woken up before her and you never will.
Teri: So where is she?
Cindy: Outside.
Teri: It’s cold out. Why’s she outside?
Cindy: She’s frightened.
Danielle: I think you have to explain a bit better than that.
Teri: Thank you, Danielle. These people think I read minds.
Karl: She is still shaken up by the movie incident last night, and she’s decided she doesn’t want to celebrate Halloween this year. All of the decorations are too triggering.
Teri: Excuse me? My mother is skipping Halloween?
Karl: I’ve learned not to question it. It’s served me well for… I don’t even remember how many years. Fifty?
Jerry: How do you do it?
Teri: The man’s a saint. That’s how.
Ralph: That, and he takes pills.
Teri: We all do.
Ralph: Lots of pills.
Karl: I do indeed.
Steven: Where did all the decorations go?
Tammi: Grandma already packed them away. They’re going up to the attic.
Steven: Three days before Halloween?
Tammi: It’s a long story.
Teri: I’m gonna go see what’s up. This is not normal.
Ralph: When has mom ever been normal?
Teri: Good point, but I still have to investigate.
Teri walks outside to find Betty in the yard.
Teri: Mom! Get up! It’s eight in the morning!
Betty: I’m exhausted, sweetie. I barely slept. I got up and started de-Halloweening the house at make four.
Teri: You’ve been up since four?
Betty: It takes a long time doing this by yourself! You’d think someone could’ve helped me!
Teri: They were all in bed!
Betty: That’s not an excuse.
Teri: Mom, what’s wrong?
Anita: Oh my god, do my eyes deceive me?
Teri: Anita, not the time!
Anita: Betty, you know my Halloween display is better than yours and you’re conceding! Oh my god, I could cry. It’s so beautiful. I’ve finally broken your spirit.
Betty: That is not what happened!
Teri: You’re a sick woman.
Betty: I told I never exaggerate it. She’s the spawn of Satan!
Teri: Don’t say that around Cindy, she’ll try to stab her with a cross.
Betty: That would be good with me.
Anita: So what is going on here, then?
Teri: I don’t know! Mom’s lost it.
Anita: She never had it.
Teri: Stop!
Betty: I’m not talking about this with you of all people, Anita. Just know that I have zero interest in Halloween this year. No decorations, no candy, no costumes. Nothing!
Anita: You have to give out candy, as specified by the HOA guidel-
Teri: It does not say that.
Betty: No, but I wanted to trick you into giving away food you bought with your hard-earned money.
Teri: You wanted to trick us out of our treats? That’s sick.
Betty: She’s sick!
Anita: I guess I better go, I don’t want to hold up traffic. Seeing you sad should fuel me through this day regardless, I don’t need to know the reasoning behind it.
Anita drives off.
Teri: So what really is going on here? You’re scared and it’s made you abandon Halloween?
Betty: Don’t say “abandon.” I don’t have any responsibility to do it.
Teri: You put it up. You spent a lot of time putting it out and getting it perfect. It brings a lot of joy to you and the neighborhood.
Betty: Yeah, but not this year. I don’t need to see anything scary. Not after last night.
Teri: Mom, I know it traumatizing, even if the fear wasn’t based in reality. Most fears aren’t. But I don’t want it ruining your fun. I’m not minimizing it, but you were okay, and it was a false alarm. The healthiest thing to do is just move on.
Betty: I guess I just never realized I was susceptible to being such a… scaredy cat.
Teri: You had good reason to be scared. The unknown can be very scary. Especially when you’re watching a horror movie! Your mind was already prepared to feel fear. You’re stressed and anxious to begin, then you see something that looks like a real threat. And that can live with you for a while. But I just don’t want you to let that fear ruin your Halloween fun. You look forward to this, you try to outdo yourself every year. It’s okay to skip it if you want, but I want it to be what you really want. Don’t let fear ruin it for you. Although, these really are scary decorations. Do kids really walk through all of this to get candy?
Betty: Most of them! Some run in fear! It’s kinda fun.
Teri: Okay, so we could clearly stand to dial it back a bit, that’s for sure. But just come inside, maybe get some actual sleep, and then think about it before you take everything down.
Betty: That sounds like a good idea. I am getting tired.
Teri: Yeah, and you’re still in your pajamas for some reason. How did Anita not mock you for that?
Betty: I gave her too much other material to work with, she was distracted.
Teri: She was. And you don’t ever want that to happen again!
Later that night…
Cindy: I just don’t get it. She took all this stuff down this morning! Why is it back up?
Jerry: And how is there even more of it now?
Teri: There was apparently a sale at Home Depot.
Jerry: Well that tracks.
Karl: Teri, I think you fixed her. She slept, she likes Halloween again, she even watched a horror movie again while she decorated. It’s almost a miracle.
Teri: I am a miracle worker. Many people tell me that.
Danielle: Like who?
Teri: Just let me enjoy this.
Cindy: Here, have a Snickers.
Teri: I prefer Milky Way.
Jerry: What a sicko.
What did you think of this episode of Our House? Let us know in the comments and make sure to read the new episode next week!
